The Night Cafe

The moonlit caffeinated memes and musings of someone too old for the internet

[nightcoffee365]

Good news: Thanks to Lego, Funko, Fortnite, Magic: The Gathering and Tommy Westphall, all of your crossover fic is now canon. Please make a note of it.

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[abominationcreations]

Saw a meme I had to redraw

[annabelle--cane]

gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.

[depsidase]

[nightcoffee365]

[depsidase]

[nightcoffee365]

Tom Paris

Tom Detroit

Tom Silicon Valley

Tom Attica

[depsidase]

[ashelf66]

You think anyone's tried to fuck a Hutt or a Rancor? Or a Gungan?

[nightcoffee365]

Not yet. Dibs on Gardulla.

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I want more of the JL acting like normal celebrities.

Batman and Chappel Roan working together on a competitive cooking show against teams of Kylie Jenner and Danny Devito, Kanye West and Kesha, Taylor Swift and Superman, etc. They are a surprisingly good team who work together great. They end up winning the whole thing and a bunch of wholesome memes start trending about the two of them adopting you after your awful parents kicked you out. Superman and Taylor Swift are surprisingly a TERRIBLE team. They’re disqualified because they never finished cooking their meals as they were too busy arguing. They are memed to be the parents who kicked you out and desperately need a divorce.

Wonder Woman going on a survivor-like reality show about a bunch of celebrities stuck on an island together and all the contestants are whining about things like “My hair is so frizzy and Chad is SO hot, I don’t want him to see me like this omg” While Diana has already chopped down multiple trees, used the wood to make a cabin for everyone, hunted a wild boar which is currently roasting over a campfire she also made with the leftover sticks and leaves, and cracked the coconuts from the tree. The rest of the show is mostly a normal reality show. The other contestants never have to lift a finger and can peacefully gossip and have drama while being well fed, housed, and hydrated. The only real difference is that every few minute the camera switches to Diana wresting a grizzly bear or catching fish with her bare hands.

The masked singer where there’s a person in a colourful parrot costume singing on stage and everyone has to guess who it is. People have guessed many celebrities like Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, or even Lex Luther, but they mostly guessed famous singers because the guy is GOOD and there’s no way he doesn’t sing professionally. He sang songs like “Party in the USA”, “Call Me Maybe” and “Never Gonna Give You Up”. People were going crazy trying to figure out who he is. The time finally comes for the reveal. The man slowly takes off his parrot head and... it’s Batman. The crowd goes wild.

The Flash (Barry) and Green Lantern (Hal) make a podcast and spend the entire time going on long rants about their respective interests. Flash talks about forensic science and chemistry for an hour while GL hums in interest or asks questions every once in a while. After that GL rambles about airplanes and engineering for another hour while Flash enthusiastically nods and adds in related stories every so often. Twitter diagnoses them with autism.

Captain Marvel has a TikTok account where he posts himself trying suggestions from his fans. Some of his most popular videos include him juggling a bunch of chainsaws (perfectly, btw), pranking JL members, bedazzling Mr Minds prison jar with fake crystals and speech bubble stickers that make it look like Mr Mind is saying things like “I’m DUMB”, and his most popular by far, citing The Santa Clause rules to Black Adam and convincing him that since he killed his father technically that makes him his new dad (the horror stopped Black Adam in place mid battle, giving Marvel the perfect opportunity to punch him in the face. The punch has been slo-mo’d and memed to oblivion). His Batman mandated PR team has been begging him to stop for months but in response he posts himself TikTok dancing (terribly) in front of a green screen in the background showing an image of the emails while asking for more suggestions.

If anyone has any ideas like this or fics to recommend plz tell me In the comments, I love the Justice League just casually being celebrities.

[nightcoffee365]

Flash photobombing.

The Flash could photobomb anyone anywhere. He can pause just long enough for photons to bounce off him and be gone before the pic resolves. I imagine entire groups on photo-centric places like Insta having groups of people The Flash has photobombed without their knowledge at the time. Feet up at an ice cream shop in Wales… Leaning on a vending machine in Tokyo… flashing a peace sign at the foot of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro… and that was just the past hour.

I think he could have a field day with photographers who use physical film. You’re developing pictures of larks in your darkroom and one is just The Flash serving full Zoolander Blue Steel.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Photobomb Flash feels like a Wally thing.

[nightcoffee365]

You got me thinking what would happen if Thawne started photobombing. People documenting their own… splat

[nightcoffee365]

Watching “Non Sequitur”, Yet another episode that backs my hypothesis that a badass Harry Kim = the bad place

[thesevenumbrellas]

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

[only-tiktoks]

[justgarb]

I saw the skirt, got super excited, and was not disappointed

[nightcoffee365]

[temporalteardrop]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

[temporalteardrop]

BASS?? BASS MAKES A DOLLAR????? IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS AND NONE OF YOU THOUGH TO TELL ME I MISSPELLED IT????????

[nightcoffee365]

I’m sure anyone who noticed found it funny and chose to be koi about it

[the-coffee-nebula]

Janeway: You've got to act tough, Harry! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Harry: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Harry, slamming his hands down on the mess hall counter: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

[nightcoffee365]

Every timeline where Harry Kim becomes a badass is *the bad place*.

[roostercrowedatmidnight]

iconic of harry and b'elanna to both have dreams where their mother is transforming into captain janeway. ok you guys

[nightcoffee365]

Did I hear “Janeway”, “Transforming”, and “Mother?”…

[dykescully]

i ❤️ fat chicks graffiti, cardiff, UK

[hitchell-mope]

Poor Kathryn.

[nightcoffee365]

Poor whomever motivated your sentiment.

Captain Kathryn “warcrime to your door in 30 minutes or less or the next one’s free” Janeway takes it back in blood every time