stuck in between memories and aspirations

my new and more personal blog  ---  music is my saviour  ---   here is to my thoughts and feelings

[niirvaaana]

I used to enjoy music SO much. It was literally my life at a point because I just felt so connected to it. I used to LOVE writing in my journal daily (sometimes multiple times throughout the day). Doing this allowed me to keep myself on track and actually deal with my issues and concerns. It's what got me through my first year of college. I used to go on tumblr a lotttttt and enjoy it. And lastly, I used to love to read because it took me to an entirely different world. I felt what the characters felt. Now, I don't enjoy a single one of these things anymore. And I'm trying so hard to get back into at least one of these things, but I've lost all passion for everything I once loved.

[niirvaaana]

04.27.2015 // 12:22am Journal Entry I lost my passion and love for music 2 years ago. I've gone 2+ years not listening to music the way I used to.... I haven't connected with my music in so long. But this past weekend, I was reminded of how much music meant to me. Perhaps this is the first step to reminding myself of my old self. I've lost all passion and motivation for everything over the years. Maybe this will pick me up and lead me towards the right path.

[niirvaaana]

when this song was mainstream as hell, I hated it. 

i was always so irritated when it played cause: 1) it was overplayed 2) THE LYRICS...

let me elaborate on my 2nd point.  what kind of human being would catch a grenade for anyone? i mean, even though it’s being used symbolically here, i thought it was pretty ridiculous. way to be so dramatic. not only that, i just imagined overdramatic girls to be the ones enjoying this song. 

however, my thoughts on this song has changed. after my own personal experiences, i guess i’m one of those “overdramatic girls” because i feel for this song. after going through the worst heartbreaks of my life, the lyrics i could relate to. i did so much for that one person and gave so much love, and he never reciprocated or showed appreciation. i’m still with him, but even now i’m not sure if he’d ever feel the way i feel for him. we’ve been together over a year too. so, i feel this song. i get it. 

i still don’t like the album version of this song, cause it makes me cringe thinking of how much it was played on the radio. but this live-acoustic version is amazing. the passion in his voice makes this song enjoyable. 

[niirvaaana]

The Weeknd

listening to this guy gets me so focused. 

he gets me thinking all these deep ass thoughts. 

he just takes me to a whole ‘nother world.

his lyrics can be either relevant or irrelevant.

but that’s not even why i love him so much.

the beat of his songs are mystifying. 

i feel like im the only one who feels this... is there something wrong with me? do we listen to the same The Weeknd? 

[niirvaaana]

04.25.2015 // 12:11am Cuenca, Spain

I just so desperately want to travel. Of all possible placements, I wanted to be placed in Cuenca, Spain. It’s a smaller town in Spain with the population less than half the size of Madrid. Less tourists! But oh well, Toledo will be just fine. Researching these placement locations for the internship has gotten me to dream again. Dream about how much I have always loved traveling. Dream about all the places I have wanted to travel. Now, I get an opportunity to travel to Spain. 

*pic was taken from google images*