Honestly, this whole Josh Duggar thing has caused me to take a long hard look at my upbringing. Like, I was still unironically following the older Duggar girls on insta when he got arrested. Then I stumbled upon r/DuggarsSnark when I was looking for more info on what happened and I went way down the rabbit hole and realized how fucked up this family truly is.
But in doing this, I've had to come to terms with how fucked up my family is. We were never quite on the level of the Duggars, but we have a decent amount of similarities. And what really drove it home for me was when I discussed the Josh arrest with my mom and she STILL was unabashedly defending the rest of the family, especially JB and Michelle.
So now I'm having an existential crisis because I'm 27 and only just now realizing that, on top of the abuse from my father that I've already dealt with and mostly healed from, there was religious and educational abuse and neglect from my mother. And my whole life I've wanted to be a homeschool mom with a bunch of kids, but now I'm seriously second guessing that and that's a really hard thing for me to cope with.
I've already been deconstructing my faith over the past few years, but now I have to deconstruct my entire childhood and it is quite unpleasant.
But yeah, I just needed to vent about that because it's been a rough year.
