numb @nobodygraves - Tumblr Blog

in need of a long drive in the mountains

fresh air

serenity

the intense depression that i experience when comparing myself to someone that i look up to or aspire to live like infuriates me. this constant cycle of starting to feel like i’m making progress with myself suddenly transforming into a raging ball of self destruction and anxious thoughts. i KNOW that i should not compare myself to others as much as i do, i know that it only does me harm because i go about it in a destructive way. it’s something i am trying to work on, but now i’m laying here in my bed barely paying attention to the episode of Adventure Time that’s on behind my glowing phone screen after seeing an image of someone who i admire and look up to incredibly that which without hesitation made me begin to point out all of the parts of them that are beautiful that i don’t recognize as beautiful within myself and it pisses me off because i know that self-love is an ongoing process that requires time and effort but it never ceases to allow my own mind to torture itself before fully embracing that once more. and then the cycle repeats itself. i make a vow to myself to prioritize my health, be the best version of myself, have a good couple days and then i get wrapped right back into the relentless mindset of believing i’ll never be where i want to be with who i am or what i look like. and i know that’s absolutely ridiculous, still it doesn’t make a difference. the thoughts don’t go away, i have to force them away, and even then i’m left feeling empty. i just want to be happy with who i am and leave this constant cycle in the past. i want it to leave me alone. i want to find a way out that doesn’t hurt the people i love.

sixpenceee

mabeltanaka

perrfectly

ryuucaro

sharkodactyl

i’m obsessed with this painting called tomato king and i’m even more obsessed with the man who drew it. his name is stuart dunkel and he is a classical oboeist and he also paints tiny little oil paintings of mice living their best lives. he looks like this.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

raevenlywrites

Is this the jelly bean guy???

icajax

@raevenlywrites the WHO???

raevenlywrites

The guy who does the mice with jelly beans

And dreidels, apparently

robe-and-wizard-hat

lesbianhallieparker

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEENNNN

saintshigaraki

im so enamored with stories that portray love as something soft and kind because i do think that love at its core is an act of kindness. its part of the reason i prefer the idea of growing into love instead of falling in love because when i think of growing into love i think of a garden, like love is something to cultivate, to tend to daily, a steady progression of growth with some setbacks, a few dying leaves here and there, having to move to a bigger pot and a spot with more sunshine, but it’s still something that at the end of the month, or a year, or a decade, or a lifetime you can look at and see the product of your dedication, see exactly what it means to pour your heart into something. i just! love reading about kind love!

sometimes i wanna turn off my brain permanently - i’m in agony and i have to work soon

can’t believe i did that shit and actually live in the city of my dreams now can i get a W in the chat