Pérégrinations et digressions

still as messy as ever, just a collection of my (passing) interests

[heatedrivalryfanarts]

morelovforjm_

[heatedrivalryfanarts]

update by artist:

[cottagehillsunset]

The Raiders are sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for their flight to board after their game against Montreal. And right accross from them is one of those big posters from Shane's Reebok campagne. Ilya is playing a game on his phone (no, it's not to distract him from the giant Shane Hollander picture right in front of him, obviously not). Meanwhile Cliff looks at the Reeboks - they do look kinda nice, he has to admit - and then down to his own sneakers, which are a bit ratty and he could defnitely do with buying a new pair. And he's thinking about how convenient it must be to be sponsored by a shoe brand because it saves you the hassle of having to reaplace your old shoes. Hollander probably gets sent a new pair every couple of months whether he needs them or not. And wouldn't that be amazing.

"Maybe I should pull a Hollander", Cliff mutters to himself, thinking about how to best get an Adidas or Nike sponsorship or something.

Next to him Ilya almost gives himself whiplash with how fast his head snaps up and he barely manages to not drop his phone because Cliff what do you mean pull a Hollander there are no Hollanders to pull, Yuna and David are happily married and Shane is his boyfriend Cliff which Hollander are you trying to pull here-

[helloloveyes]

So I was thinking about Hollanov, and of course that made me think of Cliff and... This happened:

June 2016

Ilya was waiting almost next to the door, excited for Shane to show, so when the doorbell rang he was opening the door in a second.

Except, instead of Shane's gorgeous face with lovely freckles, was Cliff Marleau.

"Marley, what-?"

But Cliff was already entering his home. "Roz, I don't think you should go back to Russia this summer. Or at least not right away. Listen man, we're worry about you. The team knows that family is complicated but man, when you go, you completely disappear."

Ilya was shocked at first, then really moved by his friend's obvious worry, but mainly he was fucking pissed. He needed to kick Cliff out of his house before Shane arrived, but how? Cliff was like a dog with a bone, or whatever the stupid saying is.

"Marley, stop! I'm not going to Russia." His friend halts mid sentence.

"You're not?" Cliff smiled as if this was the best news. Fuck, Ilya loved him and his team.

"Well, I am but not right away. I'm going next week. We can talk about this another day. Now I need you to go."

"go? Why?" And that's when he really took a good look to Ilya and his house. "Wait, you were waiting for someone?"

Ilya doesn't answer, because his mind is a mess of red alerts. Shane must be so close, now.

"You never do this, Roz. Who are you waiting for?"

"Jane!" He yelled, because fuck his life, and Cliff smirked. "Montreal Jane is coming and you know how shy and particular Jane is. I need you to go, now."

"Dude, of course. I was so right about her." They both go to the door and Ilya was all but kicking him out when they stumbled into someone.

Right at his doors steps.

Oh, fuck. Ilya should have waited until November, as originally planned. But he was so excited to show Hollander his home. He was so fucked.

-.-

Cliff had never been an intellectual, but he wasn't dumb. He was just smart in other ways. That's how he found out about Montreal Jane and how important she was for Roz, since the very beginning.

He also knew his friend was dealing with too much, so he never pushed. Roz wasn't ready to committ or share, and that was ok. For a while.

Last night, talking with Connors and Carmichael, they agreed someone should talk to Roz about Russia, so Cliff volunteered. Rozanov was more than just a Captain, he was their Friend. The guy that help Cliff organized Connors grandmother's funeral. The guy that went to all the vet's appointments when Carmichael got a dog. The man that was there for Cliff for so many important things, he can't even count.

So, he was pleasently surprised when Rozanov agreed to stay for a little while. He and the guys could arrange something to talk about Russia, finally. But knowing Montreal Jane was coming??? Dude, that was the Best fucking news. Only now, Shane Hollander was about to ruined it, by being there . Just like Cliff.

"Hollander?" The guy looked just as shocked as Cliff was. "Listen, I don't know what you're doing here, but we need to go. Roz's girl is coming."

If anything, Hollander looked even more shocked by the news. His eyes wide Open, his mouth half Open.

"Yes, I know, shocking, but Montreal Jane managed to do the impossible." He put his hands on Hollander's shoulders and was about to push him around when Roz almost knock him to the side.

"Shut your face, Marley." Roz pissed off face melted once he faced Hollander. "Hi. Umh... Marleau arrived like, five minutes ago. Uninvited."

Hollander's panic look also soften a little. "Oh."

"He was worried about me. Stupid thing really." Roz was nerveous now, Cliff never saw him like that, but it was understandable.

"Not stupid, man. But ok, we need to go. This girl is the reason Roz doesn't sleep around anymore."

Which aperantly was the wrong thing to day, cuz Roz glared at him with anger. "Fuck, Marleau. Just shut up."

"You don't sleep with other people anymore?" Hollander's voice sounded weird, and Cliff wonder outloud "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Hollander had an ad to shoot in Boston, I invited him. I'm good that way, yes? My house is better than a hotel." He all but pushed Cliff out the door and grabbed Hollander's arm to pull him inside.

Only he was a lot more gentle with the Montreal Captain. "Now, go Marley."

But, no. Cliff was not going to let Rozanov use Hollander as am excuse to pull back from Jane. So he grabbed Hollander's other arm. "He can stay with me. You are not going to ruin things with Jane. You really need to talk to her."

"what the fuck, Marley?"

"Rozanov."

Again, wrong thing to do, Cliff had never had such a hard time reading his bro. Something was obviously missing here, cuz Roz shooting him daggers with his eyes. They were outright arguing now, Hollander saying Rozanov, louder everytime, but Roz was not listening.

"You have to talk to Jane, man, for real..."

"Rozanov!"

"...Take your hand off him, Marleau or I swear I'll break your bones. You're not taking him away-"

"Ilya." Hollander didn't even shout, not really. But the moment he said Roz's name the Russian stopped arguing. All the fight left his body and Cliff had front row tickets to the most sureal situation.

Hollander pulled his arm from Cliff's hold and just stared back into Roz's eyes. They looked intensely at each other for a while until Hollander spoke again.

"Lets go inside." To Cliff's utter shock, Roz nodded and followed him in. So Cliff did too.

"I am sorry." Roz started but Hollander shook his head. "He's worried about you. It's ok."

Then again, the staring that for some reason seemed like something close to... Longing? Cliff shook his head, what was happening?

"Did you really stop...?" Hollander started to ask, but even Cliff knew what he was trying to say.

"I've been busy." Roz shrugged, trying to look cool, but his face gave him away.

"See why he needs to talk to her? He can't even admit it to us. But the whole team knows by now how gone he is for Jane." Aperantly Cliff had a death wish, because he couldn't shut up.

But instead of trying to kill him, Roz nervously stared down, looking embarrassed.

Hollander stepped closer and that made Cliff realised just how close those too were.

"Do you trust Marleau?" Roz nodded firmly still not raising his head. "Then maybe... Maybe we could... Umh..." Hollander stumbled with his words but Roz seemed to understand him, cuz he looked up with wide eyes and such a... Hopeful Expression? Seemed like hope and so many more feelings Cliff was having a hard time recognizing.

Again, they stared at each other in silence and ... Mmmmm... Maybe there was something more right here, in front of Cliff. Something so insane his brain refuse to name.

"Shane." Roz said with fondness and adoration.

Hollander smiled a little, "Ilya."

Fuck, what the hell was this?

Then Roz turned around, grabbed Shane Hollander's hand and broke Cliff's understanding of reality with his next words:

"This is Montreal Jane."

[ultimate-shipper-blog]

Going back on my Cliff Marleau/Jane bullshit from a couple of posts ago:

Marleau having a one night stand with a puck bunny and he doesn’t ask her name until the next morning and she just kind of smirks and says “Jane. Tell Rozanov I said hi.” Cliff just turns white as a ghost and has a total meltdown thinking he just slept with his best friend’s girlfriend.

He acts weird for weeks before Ilya snaps at him to tell him what’s going on and he just shouts “I SLEPT WITH JANE!” and then immediately cowers. Like fully fetal position covering his face in case Roz started immediately wailing on him.

Ilya’s like “…what” and asks a couple of clarifying questions and once he realizes his friend did not in fact sleep with Shane he laughs so loudly the room shakes and Cliff is just kind of staring at him with tears in his eyes and a relieved watery smile.

[cottagehillsunset]

Ilya is used to carrying babies and small children in his arms. Because he used to hold his niece in his arms (though that became less frequent with each summer he went back to Russia) and he's babysat the Pikelings a handful of times now, so yes he knows to support a baby's head and can carry around a toddler no problem.

Cue Ilya making a rare appearance at Bood's Barbeque because it's the team's chance to meet little Milo for the first time. Everyone congratulates the parents and oohs and aaws at Milo. Cue Bood asking "anyone want to hold him?"

And Ilya is the first to volunteer, already reaching out his hands. And Bood, like any new parent, starts the "Alright here we go, now be careful to support the head-" only to trail off because Ilya does not need any help. For some strange reason, Ilya fucking Rozanov is a pro at holding a baby, murmuring to him in Russian swaying him softly in his arms.

The Groupchat ("CenBros NO CAP") goes wild because how the fuck is Rozy so good with babies. And then one of the rookies is like "maybe he has a baby??" and at first everyone scoffs because, hello. This is Ilya Rozanov we're talking about.

On second thought, though.

Ilya did move to Ottawa seemingly out of nowhere.

He did buy a house in the suburbs.

He is strangely secretive about who he's texting all the time.

He is skipping almost every team event.

Suddenly it all makes sense. Ilya has a girlfriend (wife??) and he moved to Ottawa for her so that they could raise their child together. And of course he's almost never attending a team outing or leaving early, he has a child at home! Of course he's secretive about it, Ottawa or not he's still Ilya fucking Rozanov, papped every second day. It only makes sense that he'd want to protect the identiy of his girlfriend (wife??) and child.

The final piece of evidence is overheard by Holmberg and Young on a random Thurday after practice. Ilya clearly hasn't noticed them as he walks to his car, a fond smile on his face and obviously focused on his phone call. "Goodnight, I miss you very much. I will be home soon", he says. It's followed by laughter and Ilya adding that "Yes, of course is necessary! I have been away all day, my daughter must hear me say goodnight to her."

Holmberg and Young (standing next to Young's car and therefore hidden from Ilya's view) stare at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. Because holy fucking shit Rozy just confirmed he has a daughter?? And based on the conversation also a girlfriend/wife??

Meanwhile Shane, who patiently sat next to where Anya was curled up on the couch with his phone on speaker so that Ilya could tell her goodnight, is happily talking with Ilya about what to cook for dinner.

[cottagehillsunset]

Hayden who just spent the entire Summer at home with the twins and baby Arthur so he's still in full on dad mode when the season starts.

Shane gets up during the night to get a class of water from the bathroom. And he accidentally wakes Hayden up just as he's getting back into bed because his elbow knocks against the bedside lamp. Hayden, half asleep, just rolls out of bed on instinct. His eyes aren't even fully open as he tucks Shane into bed, kisses his forhead and mumbles a "night night" before he falls face first into bed and is back to sleep immediately.

[normal-about-hollanov]

hollanov pr video for the cens where harris recruits shane (and later ilya for a matching video) to finally settle the whole 'attached at the hip' thing. this is achieved by having the recruited hollanov slowly inch further n further away during locker room time at praccy until the other one notices. the video does not settle shit. both- on record- manage a total of three feet (or the moment they leave the others peripheral) before their husband is letting out a whine and reaching back (ilya) or straightening up suddenly and turning around with that signature crinkle between their eyebrows and ☹️ (shane). the cens socials blow up.

[hollanovarchive]

picture of all time 😮‍💨

[flyora]

yeah that's my emotional support sketching therapy

[wingsseni]

don't forget your spf !

[isisisak]

at one point harris does an insta post for the local animal shelter like "all of them think theyre lap dogs" and its several slides of like a great dane and several pitbulls and a giant mastiff sitting on ppl and the last pic is of ilya sitting on shanes lap during one of boods bbqs

[gatekeepslay]

whenever someone comes up with a fic with this exact premise let a girl know bc 😼 #needthat

shoutout to the original artist: @moreloveforjm_ on instagram!!!

[isolabellz]

lock screens

[marchingmoths]

thinking about the boston raiders spending years watching ilya flirt with models, actors, pop stars, and all sorts of Professionally Hot People. always at the top of his game, no matter how famous or supernaturally attractive they are. no one’s seen him so much as stutter when chatting up someone whose face looks perfect on a billboard and somehow better in real life.

then the raiders shoot a PSA for the boston library. it’s the first time ilya’s been in a library since he was a child. and he simply cannot handle the librarians. they spend an extra hour filming because ilya stutters whenever someone with glasses asks him a direct question. he misspells his own name while getting a library card when the man helping him rebuttons the top of his collared shirt. he tries to flirt with a woman reshelving books by asking her what the numbers on the spines mean and if he can get hers; she doesn't clock his pick-up line and explains the dewey decimal system to him for ten minutes. ilya blushes the entire time. 

marley tells this to shane years later and shane is like,,,that tracks and no i will not elaborate. but we own an industrial grade glasses cleaner because i couldn’t figure out how else to get cum out of the crevices.

[tafkarfanfic]

But you have to understand, this is the environment all this is going down in:

[shrekhollander]

Au where a Make a Wish little boy from Canada gets to spend an entire day with his favorite Hockey star Ilya Rozanov (he watches Ilya on Vine because Ilya has a Vine where he posts a lot of funny videos of himself and with the Raiders) and Ilya takes him to Build a Bear and the kid has /the audacity/ to dress his bear as Shane Hollander and he names him SHANE HOLLANBEAR and Ilya pretends to be offended but in a cute funny way and the little boy explains that his sister is a big fan of Shane and that when he is gone he wants his sister to have Shanebear to let her know he will always love her and that he is always taking care of her (he is terminally ill) and Ilya's heart breaks.

Ilya and the little boy then visit an arcade, and get ice cream, and go bowling and go to a trampoline park, and Ilya is spotted in all these places holding the Shane Hollanbear and all the shopping bags with the toys he bought fot the kid. Paparazzi find it hilarious Ilya is holding the Shane bear with so much love.

Obviusly he texts his Jane a photograph of the bear and once he is all alone at night he calls Shane and cries talking to him about the amazing kid he meet that day.

[lesbianalumni]

Way down the line, when they're leading Ottawa to another Stanley Cup, Ilya gets slammed too too hard by some eager new player. He's knocked unconscious and Shane practically flies from the box to the ice, watching as the EMTs intervene and carry him out on a stretcher.

Yuna goes in the ambulance with Ilya — Shane can't get out of his skates fast enough to run over in time, so he drives a few minutes behind them — and she calls Shane to keep him updated. It's fine, it's all fine, Ilya is already semi conscious and talking to them both. Shane's mind goes to all of the worst places anyway.

They lose service when they get in the elevator, but Yuna still sends out a text message with the room number. Shane speeds faster and then bolts through the hospital.

When he finally sees Ilya, minutes later, already in a blue hospital gown and connected to an IV but conscious and beaming up at him, Shane breaks into tears.

"Don't cry, solnyshko," Ilya says. "Come here," he holds out the hand that's free from the needles and Shane takes it.

"I have something important to ask you," Ilya tells him. It suddenly feels so serious. Shane's heart drops.

"Will you come to my cottage this summer?" Ilya says in a sing-songy voice, using his best Canadian accent. "Don't go to Russia. Come to my house, we'll have so much fun..."

Shane laughs. "You remember that?"

"Every fucking word."

[39treefrogs]

once they live together in ottawa, hollanov have the tidiest, cleanest, most intensely kept up house ever.

shane needs things to be neat. maybe its the autism, maybe its his upbringing, maybe it’s both (looking at you yuna), but all of his stuff has an inherently correct place to be, which is clearly labeled with his top-of-the-line label-maker, even though he’d never forget anyway. everyday items are ordered perfectly to best maximize the efficiency of his and ilya’s routines, thank you very much, and any broken appliances have at most one (1) business day to resolve themselves before a professional will be called. if, god forbid, there’s no one available, well then david and his tool box are on their way over and by golly, shane and him are figuring this out themselves.

ilya, on the other hand, needs things to be clean. it’s definitely some sort of slavic trauma response thing but don’t say that to him, he will deny it. the perfect storm that was his childhood (see: depressed mother, verbally abusive father, russian work ethic) manifests itself as a man who must be useful at all times. he cannot be lazy, meaning dishes are done immediately after dinner. the floor is swept, vacuumed, and mopped at least twice a week. sunday, much to her chagrin, is Anya Bath Day every week without fail. the threat of any company at all means everything is getting deep cleaned. like he’s breaking out the feather duster.

together they combine to create the most spotless and put together house ever inhabited by two jocks. they’re intense enough about it that everyone they know is aware and a little scared of them. the centaurs in particular are hyper vigilant whenever their captains invite them over for team events. in my mind they have luca house sit while they’re on their honeymoon for whatever reason and the pages of instructions they leave behind freak him out so bad that he has a panic attack in their linen closet.