Shrek Hollander

I love Shane Hollander and Shrek :) 27

[8nin]

Wishing you a safe return back to yourself.

[emziess]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I had fun, but I didn't get drunk. Heated Rivalry, S01E01

[shrekhollander]

I was running and I saw my husband's car go by on the street (he was on his way home), so I started running much faster to catch up with him, until I was level with the driver and he saw me and gave me a smirk and accelerated the car even more, so I ran even faster and we were like that for about 2 minutes looking at each other and that was my HR moment 🫦

Something My Shane and My Ilya would definitely do

[shrekhollander]

Rookie Ilya asking Rookie Shane how much does he weight (how many pounds or kilograms) at the hotel gym and Shane tells him the number but he is like ???

AND THEN ILYA STARTS DOING WEIGHTED HIP THRUSTS WITH THE EXACT SAME WEIGHT THAT SHANE TOLD HIM AND HE IS ALL SWEATY AND JUST LOOKS AT SHANE AND GOES ;)

[hollanovshome]

I can definitely see pregnant Ilya crying because he is craving a Coca Cola but he knows that it can be bad for the baby but he wants it so bad and Shane is trying to calm him down and says with the most gentle voice "It´s okay you can have a sip and it will he harmless, baby." and Ilya is like "No I am strong, I can resist it..."

oh now i’m crying pls I love this so much

[shrekhollander]

Fat Hollanov´s baby daughter is terrified of The Grinch, she sees him and starts crying and she nuzzles into Ilya´s neck because she hates The Grinch, she is a year and a half, and so chubby and has freckles and Shane´s doe eyes and has rosy cheeks and she is adorable.

So for an Irina foundation X-mas event, Ilya has to dress up as The Grinch and he is really careful that his daughter stays with Shane and doesn´t see him as The Grinch because it would scare her, but Shane´s pregnant and he is not feeling too good so he is like "Hayd, hold her please I will go throw up." and Pike is holding her and takes her straight to where The Grinch is so she "faces her fears".

Ilya sees that she is watching him and is like "fuck" because he hates to see her crying and he wants her to have a good time and not be terrified, but, instead, she makes grabby hands at The Grinch, that is HER PAPA and Ilya gets her and she hugs into him and nuzzles into his neck and she feels so safe and so loved and not scared at all.

[shrekhollander]

Headcanon for me that John Cena was a big fan of Ilya and they meet and asked Ilya for a selfie and Ilya was so happy John Cena asked him for a pic and Ilya plays the John Cena song always and Shane is so done with it

[samehere-onlyone]

Ilya's problem was never realizing he was in love with Shane. It was realizing that being loved back was even a possibility.

[shrekhollander]

(Nobody thinks what i think)

But have youn seen Scooby Doo live action? They need a pure soul to make a sacrifice and it´s scooby but in my head SHANE HOLLANDER is the perfect purest soul even though he is A BITCH <3 he would make the perfect sacrifice 😭

[quotefeeling]

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[shrekhollander]

Drunk Shane gets so brave at a karaoke and sings Dream On and he has the most angelical voice and everybody is so surprised because he reached the high note and did it sooooooo good.

Cliff Marleu: *wiping a tear from his eye because the song was beautiful, to Ilya* Damn bro, Hollander IS really amazing at everything he does.

Ilya is speechless and just so proud and he can´t wait to get home and make love to HIS husband

[shrekhollander]

It´s a headcanon to me that Ilya loves shrek (as much as I do) and he calls Shane "Shrane" sometimes just to annoy him <3

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

the thing about shane is he's literally sweet. unless of course he's being a bitch

[aemelia]

airport for @hollanovbingo

On airport, Harsh Snehanshu (हर्ष स्नेहांशु) // Tristia, Osip Mandelstam // War of the Foxes, Richard Siken // The Clearing, Heather Davis // Worlds Fly Past, Alexander Blok // Lake of Little Birds, Katherine Larson // Collected Poems, Edna St. Vincent Millay // Unknown // A Poem From the Adult Daughter to the Narcissistic Mother, Katherine Fabrizio // Twilight, Louise Glük // Little Weirds, Jenny Slate // Calliope, Hilda Doolittle // Diaspora Blues, Ijeoma Umebinyuo // Tumblr post, heavensghost // Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another, Jan Heller Levi // In a Dream You Saw a Way to Survive, Clementine von Radics // For M, Mikko Harvey

[clown-guitar]

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

[shrekhollander]

Shane: *angry kitten face* Scott Hunter is right next door 😾

Ilya: Scotty doesn´t know Hollander and me suck each other every time our team plays against the other 🎶🎶

[shrekhollander]

Shane and Ilya´s babies are runners, they love to escape from their parents and are really energetic playful kids.

Kids: *run*

Ilya: *is always watching them, making sure they don´t get lost or hurt* The Shanelings are getting too far moya lyubov'...

Shane: *rolls his eyes and does the loon noise he makes at the cottage, when their kids hear this sound they know that they need to get back to their dads ASAP and run over them happily, Shane´s bird language is the only thing that works on them getting back.*

[shoutitallout]

I don't think you understand how deep in my soul this hit me. My dad has a very specific type of whistle that he does when he wants to get our attention and I instantly respond to it by stopping and looking around to find him.

I had never in my life heard anyone whistle like him.

Until junior year of high school. My AP American History teacher did the exact same fucking whistle. So there I was, as a 16 year old, just randomly stopping in the middle of the hallway or perking up in the middle of class and looking for my dad.

Shane's kids would absolutely develop a pavlovian response to that call and if they ever heard it randomly they would absolutely just freeze and start looking for Shane regardless of where they were or what they'd been doing.