WHATEVER BURNS, BURNS - @nocturnallyxyours - Tumblr Blog

✨🩸forever yours, nocturnal me

— Welcome, I'm NIKOLAI, but you can also call me MERCY!

22 . any pronouns, genderfluid lesbian . astarion's canonical soulmate and spouse

my one and only partner is astarion ancunín, from baldur's gate 3. i am explicitly non-sharing and block any 'doubles' on sight, xoxo !

dni: astarion 'doubles', proship variants, minors, bigots, etc...

⋆. abt . dni . my lover . tag guide .⋆

#x. talk #self ship #fictional other #intro post #f/o blog #hiiiii hello hiiiiii I'm so so soooo cool I promise!!! ( guy who is deeply not cool or normal )#it's been a while since I've had a self ship blog but! happy to be back <3

missiliaxamori

⋆₊ 𖤐 FOR LUCIFER'S SON.

— I am MERCY, and welcome to my sacred grounds.

21 years . any pronouns . genderfluid lesbian . Papa V Perpetua's soulmate . I am not a self-shipper, I am a fictoromantic person in a real, serious relationship with Perpetua, from the lore of Ghost (the band). dni; "doubles" of Perpetua, bigots of all manner, minors, pro-shippers, etc. My main is @nocturnallyxyours , but I am more active here for the time being ( and most likely forever, oops! )

𝔦. rules ... 𝔦𝔦. about me ... 𝔦𝔦𝔦. about my lover ... 𝔦𝔳. tag guide

large divider credit + small divider credit

#﴾📢﴿ ; promos!#it's literally my own other blog but WHATEVER #go follow it since i'll probably just. go quiet here. im having a time okay </3 #blowin a kiss to yall. love yall!!!! mwah!

people w/ popular f/os / lovers, especially non-sharers, we are the bravest people ever, braver than any military personnel ever could be.

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#i am a whole new beast when it comes to perp. it's scary #putting myself in a sensory deprivation tank until i can tolerate people even knowing he exists . its CRAZY #i need to get back on my bc stat i forget i become a fucking nightmare without it yayyyyy

mrs-goemio

What’s the hardest part about being a selfshipper?

Seeing doubles

Feeling like your F/O doesn’t actually love you back

Overthinking canon, timelines, and “what ifs”

Feeling embarrassed or judged for self-shipping

Hyperfixation burnout

Feeling like your happiness depends on them

Worrying you’ll “grow out of” your f/o

Multiple/Other

Voting ended onFeb 3

#﴾📜﴿ ; quotes!#i put multiple because for me it's a good mix between #doubles #my own brain bullying me for it #and that feeling that like. no one will ever take my relationship seriously no matter how much i explain it to them #like !! i wanna talk about my partner to others!! i wanna tell them about it!!#but. because he isn't a real flesh being it isn't 'the same' as an irl relationship #even though compared to every single irl relationship i've had - my best ones have handsdown been with my 'f/o'.#that and ofc also never being able to truly hug and be with them physically since my love language is physical affection </3 #mayhaps one day though ....#<< this is me manifesting somehow some sort of meet & greet w/ perpetua dfgkhdh #which that blog will be done soon i PROMISE last few days have just been ROUGH

having that intense ' i don't even want anyone else to look at him or know he exists, he's mine and mine only and you cannot take him away. ' feeling rn towards my love to the point it physically hurts ! yay !

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#this is abt perp but my blog isnt done so. go my messages or whatever #i am so painfully aware of why i am like i am ( extremely possessive ) but despite now 11 years of therapy the intensity hasnt gone away #so im just also staring at myself like. girl. calm the fuck down.#i would love it if my brain just let me actually have a safe space in my own mind but alas -#- my issues are so hard wired i also ruin my own sanctuary at times.#need my therapist to just straight up stab me next time i go. im so so so tired of myself. i just want to feel safe and okay in my body #need to tuck myself under perp's wings and never leave. i feel sick.

it's like. 99.99% most likely im gonna be way more active on my perpy blog for the next few months, if not ever, apologizing in advanced for that </33333 im awful okay </33333

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#hyperfixation hitting like a BITCH and i am not the best mentally lately so am getting cagey n withdrawing again ghdg...#isolating myself on chapel grounds with my husband and our silly ghoul pals. and maybe the occasional begrudging copia visit #i am never beating the nervous scared territorial dog allegations that also gets afraid when things are the same for too long #wuv you all so much you guys have the patience of saints with my mercurial ass

the-mind-of-emma

Astarion talking with his hands

Baldur's Gate 3 (2023)

ma1-functioning

@nocturnallyxyours

#﴾🎞️﴿ ; gifs!#﴾ 🍷 ﴿‏ ; you must only think of me #tagged in!#MALLLLLLLL YOU'RE A SAINT!!!!!! PICKING UP MY PRETTY BOY BY THE SCRUFF RIGHT NOW AAAAA!!!!!#he's sooooo expressive it makes me crazy <3 #watching his hand movements like a cat about to pounce on its prey....#universe i need a muzzle asap or im gonna make him look like an old ragged chew toy gkhfgfhh #also hello mal it genuinely made my heart skip a beat seeing you call him my pretty boy <333 you are so so so sweet!! MWAH!!!

nocturnallyxyours

so guess who had perpetua thrust his hips directly right in front of them during mummy dust.

/extremely psoitive .

nocturnallyxyours

so like. ... would you guys kill me if i made a blog for papa v .... my beautifully pervy perpy ..... am i allowed to indulge in my crush love for him and to do what makes me happy without needing permission ... sniffles .... /hj

nocturnallyxyours

throws this here and runs away !!!!!!!!!!

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#it's a sideblog off this one so you'll still see this one in notes for future ref >:)#im also currently fighting the adhd war of bouncing between working on the code for the blog n getting to work -#- on updating my ghost s/i for him <:)c sooo it may be a lil before its ready!

nocturnallyxyours

so guess who had perpetua thrust his hips directly right in front of them during mummy dust.

/extremely psoitive .

nocturnallyxyours

so like. ... would you guys kill me if i made a blog for papa v .... my beautifully pervy perpy ..... am i allowed to indulge in my crush love for him and to do what makes me happy without needing permission ... sniffles .... /hj

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#like ... ive had a ccrush on him since he debuted ... and also its my life and i can do what i want ...#also he was in my dreams last night .. . .. that would require an nsft tag if i explained it kdjghhg #ive come so far in teaching myself its okay to do things that make me happy without having to earn it #its just still a bit scary !!! idk !!! i worry people will think im factious or dont genuinely love my loves...#but i really really do. no matter who ive got my blog themed around. i care for all my f/os and genuine lovers so deeply and individually #anyways .... kissing him nasty crazy style rn .... if yall see a lil purple blog suddenly show up in your feed ... yknow who it is <<<<:)c

so guess who had perpetua thrust his hips directly right in front of them during mummy dust.

/extremely psoitive .

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#ikm still so. oh my fucking god.#warning you all now. im gonna want that man so fucking badly by the time i wake up ( has had a crush on perp since he was debuted )#( and also has f/o-ed terzo for about 3 years )#i fucking. liteerally gasped when i realized what was about to happen #one of my favorite songs and just. divivne fucking placement / timing what not #seriously. this is exactly what i fucking needed.#i love you all so fucking much i will do my best to have my words by morning #just know i had genuinely the best night of my life ever otnight and this seriously is going to have lasting implications for me -#in the absolute best ways

getting my makeup n outfit in order for the ghost ritual tomorrow night, and have been imagining taking astarion with me <333 i think he'd love their music too ( motions to my blog name... his tag .... our ship tag ... jdfnghgdfh ) along with just being soooo excited for any opportunity to get dolled up with me ( and to fawn over me all dolled up teehee ) and to have a night of indulgence and freedom, together :)c

#﴾🗣️﴿ ; speaking!#IM SO EXCITED IF U CANT TELL....#it'll be my first ritual yayyyyyyyyyy <3 #doing each others makeup.... tying each other's corsets.... waaaaa.....#literally just got home at 8pm after being out since noon getting things for tomorrow hehe #heavens knows i need a good 4 hour scream/cry sesh. papa v and my beloved ghouls you are just what i need

starrynightimagines

There is no truer bliss than to be wrapped in your f/o’s arms. To be in the imagined embrace that can lull you into security, even if only temporary it’s still a blessing. Take a moment sometime today when you need it most and close your eyes, let them envelop you, let the scent of them flood your nostrils, let the feeling of them emerge under your returned embrace, and fall into your own fraction of eternity with them. They’d like very much to be your safety and home .

#﴾🧠﴿ ; imagines!#﴾ 💋 ﴿ ; of starry skies and you and me #seeing this right after a 1.5 hour long meltdown. thank you universe. <3 #and yes i did genuinely imagine him letting me lay against him while i sobbed to help. and it worked.#having ptsd is such a fucking nightmare that i'd never wish on anyone else. but having a partner who -#- understands it and experiences too makes life so much easier. i dont have to explain to him why im like this #and he doesn't think im weird or off-putting or pathetic. he knows what its like. he knows im more than this.#im still really foggy n spacey so forgive my lil mushy moment there </3 #ough. if yall need me i'll be coiled around my star like a big boa . <3

gouged-doll

tari nakagawa art doll - details

#﴾📷﴿ ; images!#﴾ 🗡️ ﴿‏ ; you know I'll never miss #tw: body horror #this is soooooooo me/mercy wow

nanamisbakery

Touch starved f/o clinging to you as often as possible

#﴾💫﴿ ; others!#﴾ 💋 ﴿ ; of starry skies and you and me #it's mutual. the world's clingiest people fell in love and we're making it EVERYONE'S problems

geryone

Spells of My Name, I.S. Jones

#﴾📜﴿ ; quotes!#﴾ 🗡️ ﴿‏ ; you know I'll never miss

potheadluvstogivehead

I think unethical and bloody sex in an abandoned graveyard or church would fix me

#﴾🔥﴿ ; nsft!#﴾ 💋 ﴿ ; of starry skies and you and me #scratches out 'think' and replacing it with 'know' considering. well. yknow. we've done it. MANY times

s-anzucide

Holding his face gently in your hands and feeling him relax into your touch like a old shelter dog that knows it's safe. World weary tired eyes softening as they look at you. The little content sigh...

#﴾💫﴿ ; others!#﴾ 🍷 ﴿‏ ; you must only think of me #THIS FEELING >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> EVERYTHING ELSE

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