Silent Requiem

(on hiatus… kind of) arguing about fictional people again gwynriel truther since 2021

[noctyras]

Oh and also, which one is it supposed to be then? Is Gwyn this character who’s supposedly so defined by what happened to her that she can never move past it, like it has to sit at the center of everything she is forever and anyone who talks about her outside of that is doing something “wrong” or “disrespectful”… or is it suddenly just “one bad afternoon”? Because it can’t be both.

[noctyras]

I’m sorry but I’m actually not letting this slide because what do you mean “one horrific afternoon.”

Like really sit with that and think about what you just said for a second. That’s how you chose to describe rape. A bad AFTERNOON. That alone is so off that I don’t even know how someone typed it out and still decided to hit send.

If you weren’t aware, trauma isn’t something you can sort into neat categories and rank like it’s a competition. It doesn’t follow some clean logic where you line up experiences side by side and decide which one “counts more” based on how long it lasted. People don’t experience things the same way, and they don’t carry them the same way either.

Two things can be completely different in nature and still both be deeply and life altering painful. One doesn’t cancel the other out, and one doesn’t need to be minimized to make space for the other. The whole idea that suffering can be measured at all completely misses how trauma actually works, because it’s not just about the event itself, it’s about what it does to you after, how it settles into your life, how it changes you in ways that aren’t always visible.

Also, this whole argument only works if you treat rape like it’s some one time event that just idk… happens and then ends, like it’s contained to a few hours and that’s it. I don’t even want to get into how wrong that framing is.

And all of that just to argue that Elain “had it worse”? Because that’s what it comes down to, let’s be honest. That whole “I’m not playing trauma olympics but…” line while still insisting one character is the only one allowed to be a victim is just… come on. At least own the argument you’re making.

[noctyras]

The golden necklace seemed ordinary — its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

⭑

But the priestesses stepped into the sunlight, the open air. Blinked up at it, as if remembering what such things were. Gwyn nimbly rolled to her feet, grinning so broadly that Nesta was momentarily taken aback by it. The priestess had been pretty in the library, but with that joy, that confidence as she aimed for the three priestesses, she had emerged into a beauty to rival Merrill or Mor.

[noctyras]

The fact that some people in this fandom are more upset about those wanting Gwyn to heal and be in a healthy, loving, consensual relationship (because apparently that’s “disrespectful to real SA survivors”) than they are about people spreading actual harmful stereotypes is so weird.

Like… you’re mad at people for hoping she finds happiness, but not at the ones saying disgusting stuff like “we don’t have proof she was raped so she’s probably lying” (which is not only gross, but also literally canonically false)? Or “she’s seducing males and faking fear” or “she has the same eye color as a rapist so she must be like her”??? Be serious.

Some of y’all have no problem reducing Gwyn to her trauma only when it’s about shipping her with Azriel. But when it comes to calling her a “men-eating monster” or secretly evil? Suddenly the SA doesn’t matter at all. Suddenly it’s fair game to throw canon out the window and claim she’s a lightsinger or whatever because it fits your agenda. And when people push back, you cry “they’re weaponizing SA”? Be for real.

It’s honestly disturbing and it says A LOT about who you are if you’re more bothered by people wanting her to find healing and love than by the ones treating SA like a plot device or debate topic.

[noctyras]

IMPLIED HOFAS SPOILERS (Azriel/Bryce/Nesta Bonus Chapter)

This bonus chapter proves, once again, that his dancing shadows are a good thing. They’re dancing because Azriel is enjoying himself. He’s relaxed and happy.

I wonder how the “his shadows only dance because of Gwyn’s breath because she’s a lightsinger!! they’re only reacting to her power!!!” crowd feels right now.

[noctyras]

The fact that some people in this fandom are more upset about those wanting Gwyn to heal and be in a healthy, loving, consensual relationship (because apparently that’s “disrespectful to real SA survivors”) than they are about people spreading actual harmful stereotypes is so weird.

Like… you’re mad at people for hoping she finds happiness, but not at the ones saying disgusting stuff like “we don’t have proof she was raped so she’s probably lying” (which is not only gross, but also literally canonically false)? Or “she’s seducing males and faking fear” or “she has the same eye color as a rapist so she must be like her”??? Be serious.

Some of y’all have no problem reducing Gwyn to her trauma only when it’s about shipping her with Azriel. But when it comes to calling her a “men-eating monster” or secretly evil? Suddenly the SA doesn’t matter at all. Suddenly it’s fair game to throw canon out the window and claim she’s a lightsinger or whatever because it fits your agenda. And when people push back, you cry “they’re weaponizing SA”? Be for real.

It’s honestly disturbing and it says A LOT about who you are if you’re more bothered by people wanting her to find healing and love than by the ones treating SA like a plot device or debate topic.

[noctyras]

HOSAB / HUNT & BRYCE’S BONUS CHAPTER SPOILERS

Hunt had done that for her. She’d never stop being grateful for it—for him. Bryce’s heart tightened and something brighter than starlight filled her veins. It remained, shimmering and secret, glowing inside her for the rest of the day.

⭑

But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

[noctyras]

Rhys still knelt, wings drooping across the white sheets, head bowed, his tattoos stark against his golden skin. A dark, fallen prince. The painting flashed into my mind. Flashed—and stayed there, glimmery, before it faded. But it remained, shining faintly, in that hole inside my chest. The hole that was slowly starting to heal over.

✴︎

Something sparked in Azriel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to  the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it.  But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

[noctyras]

They can’t keep their eyes off of each other

Gwyn had been distracted today—one eye on the other side of the ring. Cassian could only assume she was watching his brother, who had given Gwyn a small smile of greeting upon arrival. (...) She’d said nothing about it during the lesson. Only glanced every now and then toward Az.

He nodded to Gwyn and Emerie, the former glancing toward Azriel, who watched in silence. (...) Gwyn again glanced to Azriel, who drifted closer.

Cassian glanced over at Az, but his attention was fixed on the young priestess, admiration and quiet encouragement shining from his face.

Az stared after her, brows high with amusement. (...) Az angled his head, hazel eyes narrowing as Gwyn reached the archway.

[finaland]

It's a good day to remember that Azriel is still Gwyn's new ribbon.

[noctyras]

And that means she’s not going to give up on him! No matter how stubborn he might be, she won’t give up, just like she didn’t with the ribbon cutting.

As Nesta said:

“You and that ribbon,” Nesta muttered, shutting the tome. Of all of them, Gwyn had become the most relentless about succeeding.

That determination payed well, didn’t it? She was the first one to succeed.

If Gwyn wants something, nothing and no one will be able to stop her.

[noctyras]

All those little moments between Gwyn and Azriel during training, and even the fact that the two of them have private training sessions, take on a completely new meaning the moment you realize Gwyn is not part of Azriel’s group, but Cassian’s.

That means that when Azriel turns around because he hears Gwyn squealing, or when he smiles at her as he first joins them, or when he drifts closer as she explains the ribbon before eventually turning back to his task, it is because he is deliberately paying attention to her. It is not his responsibility to do so, since his role is to focus on his own trainees, and Gwyn is not one of them.

Even Gwyn asking Azriel to practice dagger handling together, alone, carries more weight when you realize she could have easily asked Nesta or Cassian (you know, the one actually responsible for her training) to teach her instead. But she chooses Azriel.

[yazthebookish]

Gwyn and Azriel by @mistilteinnart 🤍

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[elithien]

More Gwyn in various looks <3

[noctyras]

Friendly reminder that Gwyn is stunning!

“If Rhysand was the most beautiful male I’d ever seen, she was his female equivalent. Her bright, golden hair was tied back in a casual braid, and the turquoise of her clothes—fashioned like my own—offset her sun-kissed skin, making her practically glow in the morning light.”

— Morrigan, A Court of Mist and Fury

“Merrill turned at that, and Nesta was greeted with a surprisingly young face—and a stunningly beautiful one. All the High Fae were beautiful, but Merrill made even Mor look drab. Hair white as fresh snow contrasted against the light brown of her skin, and eyes the color of a twilight sky blinked once, twice.”

— Merrill, A Court of Silver Flames

“The priestess had been pretty in the library, but with that joy, that confidence as she aimed for the three priestesses, she had emerged into a beauty to rival Merrill or Mor.”

— Gwyn, A Court of Silver Flames

Mor is canonically the most beautiful female Feyre had ever seen. Merrill is so breathtaking she makes Mor look drab. And Gwyn?

”…she had emerged into a beauty to rival Merrill or Mor.”

Both of them. Imagine how freaking gorgeous she is.

[noctyras]

Azriel laughed. "I’ll give you that."  Gwyn smiled broadly. "Thank you."  Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch. Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone.  Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.

⭑

Yrene shifted from one foot to another, still smiling, still shining. As if she were the last, vibrant ray of the sun, staining the sky long after it had vanished over the horizon. “What?” she asked, and he realized he’d been staring. “Good night,” he merely said. And as Chaol rode back to the illuminated palace across the city, he could have sworn that some weight in his chest, on his shoulders, had vanished. As if he’d lived with it his entire life, unaware, and now, even with all that gathered around him, around Adarlan and those he cared for… How strange it felt. That lightness.

[noctyras]

Friendly Reminder

When Emerie attempted to cut the ribbon, Azriel’s attention was on the ribbon

Emerie groused, but stepped up to the dangling ribbon, grudgingly taking the sword Cassian extended. Azriel murmured over a shoulder to the priestesses under his charge as they watched. They instantly began moving again. But Azriel’s attention remained on the ribbon.

But when Gwyn stepped up—

They fell silent again as Gwyn shifted her feet, angling the blade. The wind waggled the ribbon again, as if taunting her. Cassian glanced over at Az, but his attention was fixed on the young priestess, admiration and quiet encouragement shining from his face.

His attention wasn’t on the ribbon anymore.

It was on Gwyn. Fixed on her. With admiration and quiet encouragement shining in his eyes. Gwyn.

[noctyras]

Gwyn and Azriel’s encounter in the bonus chapter is Gwyn’s first time alone with a male. She is outside the library at night, with no one else around.

Yet she is not uncomfortable or afraid. She smiles, and she makes him smile. They talk and laugh despite having known each other for only a few months at best. They enjoy each other’s company, even though neither of them is particularly sociable, for different reasons.

She gives him an excuse to leave because she knows he prefers to be alone, but he does not take it. He had considered turning back before finding whoever was in the pit, but when he sees Gwyn and she openly offers him a way out, he decides to stay. He wants to stay. She could have made an excuse and returned to the library too, but she chooses to remain as well.

They talk, and Azriel—someone who is usually very reserved—opens up and confesses something about himself. Something that might seem unimportant in other circumstances, and yet we learn about it because of Gwyn, a girl he does not consider his friend. (I don’t know about you, Az, but something doesn’t spark in my chest at the thought of a friend, much less a stranger :/ )

He goes to the training pit to work off his rage and frustration, yet he does none of that. He talks with Gwyn, and by the end of the conversation something restless settles inside him. There is no need to work it off anymore. Gwyn’s presence single-handedly manages to calm him down.

Gwyn, in the short time she has known Azriel, has come to trust him. This male is inevitably associated with her worst memory, the one who saw her at her lowest, vulnerable and broken. Despite knowing and having seen with her own eyes what he can do and how ruthless he can be, she still sees him as someone worthy of her trust. She sees him for who he is, not for the things he has done. And I think it is really beautiful how Sarah highlighted that last part.

We have the contrast between the scene with Elain (“she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars”) and the next with Gwyn, where, despite his hands being in plain sight and Gwyn’s attention focused on them as he demonstrates how to cut the ribbon, the thought doesn’t even cross his mind.

Just as she is comfortable enough with him not to worry about being outside her sanctuary—in the middle of the night, alone with a male for the first time in two years—he is comfortable enough with her to let go of his biggest insecurity and vulnerability, one he has been carrying with him for centuries.

I also love how the chapter ends with Azriel smiling at the thought of Gwyn, showing once again how her mere presence or even mention can bring him a sense of peace :)