No Distinction? No Problem!

An idemromantic + platoniromantic positivity blog! The icon is by a-romantic--aromantic. The header is by cubeflag.

[nodistinction-noproblem]

Welcome!

(my ongoing queerplatonic fiction masterpost)

This is a positivity blog for people like me who are idemromantic and/or platoniromantic, and/or relate to similar experiences of having trouble distinguishing between platonic and romantic feelings! There will also be romo aro and aroallo positivity here as that's something I relate to.

Mod info:

Colt/Duck

25 y/o nonbinary genderqueer

uses ze/zir or they/them pronouns

Idemromantic, platoniromantic, aroallo, pansexual

General info:

Why highlight both idemromantic and platoniromantic?

I don't do this to conflate the two. It also isn't to label an idemromantic person as platoniromantic or vice versa. It's simply because I identify with both and noticed that both lack solidarity, content, and general chatter :) I want to gather information and positivity here, and maybe create some myself.

I also don't conflate these identities with romo aro, romance favorable, etc.; I just also relate to that so you will see it here too.

Isn't platoniromantic the same thing as quoiromantic?

As far as I know, the original coiner of quoiromantic intended it to mean that romantic attraction is not applicable, nonsensical, etc. The definition that quoiromantic is a difficulty distinguishing between attraction came later. Regardless of how quoi is used now, it doesn't precisely describe my experiences and I don't relate to its focus on confusion/wtf/what. I much more relate to platoniromantic!

So are quoi and platoni the same? Idk, I just know they aren't the same for me!

What goes on this blog?

Positivity! Art, affirmations, discussion, and general community.

I'm questioning, can you help me?

Sorry, but I'm not comfortable labelling or guiding someone. All of my answers would boil down to "identity is complicated and you should use a term if it helps you," and I don't want to even remotely pretend I'm an authority of any kind. Thanks for understanding!

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy your stay! <3

[hawkeyeflags]

idemromantic for anon!

[platoniromantic-culture-is]

Platoniromantic culture is being queerplatonic for all of your friends

This is platoniromantic culture!

[redacted-coiner]

yo! could we get idemromantic and idemsexual pixels? https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Idemromantic https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Idemsexual-618619515

Idemromantic , Aroacespec , Idemsexual

Idemromantic , Idemaroace , Idemsexual (XXX)

DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag.

[just-sawyer-28]

Quoiromantic Moodboard

[romo-favorable-aro-cultureis]

I love you cupioromantics, greyromantics, demiromantics, and anyone else who's arospec and is romance favorable in some way. You are so valid and not any less aro for being romance favorable.

[asexualhedgehog]

i love being aromantic i love being single i love valuing the relationships in my life that aren't romantic more than romantic relationships

[northlight14]

Every time I look at posts about being aromantic I feel like I see a lot of negativity and this kinda longing to not be aro. Which is absolutely something I’ve experienced myself so no hate to anyone who feels that way

But in an effort to balance the scales at least a little, I’d like to say that I genuinely love being aromantic, and wouldn’t change it for anything. I love the unique experience it gives me on relationships, and attraction, and the world. I love how it affects my relationship with the media I consume and has become a big part of the way I engage with media as someone who’s getting a degree in media studies. I love my community

I genuinely love being aromantic

[libby-bunny-offical]

Hey Google, how do I cope with not being my favorite person's favorite person and having to deal with the fact that I can't treat my friends the way I want to because the way I want to is inherently romantic in nature according to society?

[sage0clock]

"Platonic" "Romantic" "Familial" "Secret third thing" BOXES ALL AROUND. BUT I... I THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX... I STACK THE BOXES INSIDE EACHOTHER IN A RANDOM ORDER LIKE RUSSIAN NESTING DOLLS

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

I love being aromantic it's actually so awesome, like it's genuinely so nice to not experience romantic love but also I have so much love for my community that I can't imagine being a part of any other. I have so much love in me for everything in my life and I've never been lacking in things to pour that love into 💚🤍🩶🖤

[nodistinction-noproblem]

"It's completely valid to be aroallo, there's nothing wrong with no-strings-attached sex and one night stands :)" yes very true but um, what if i WANT strings attached 😭 what if i want sex with someone i trust who knows me intimately 😭 what if i want a qpr or platonic commitment that includes sex 😭 what then

[frog-on-top-of-a-log]

Fandom needs more aspec headcannons that actually get explored

There seems to be a weird phenomenon in fandom where people give their aro/ace headcannon to an unimportant side character or the one person that they don’t have a ship for. Every other character is shipped with another person and there is just one single person in their story and that is the aspec character.

And that is shitty for a few reasons.

You cannot only make the “boring” or ”undesirable” people aro/ace. It feels incredibly weird. Those are typically the characters that get sidelined in fics as well. There are outgoing aspec people. With friends and in some cases they are in relationships as well. They aren’t all shy introverted people or science geeks with no desire for a social life. But you don’t see that in fandom.

The other problem is that it seems like you cannot imagine an allo person being single. Choosing to stay single. Like the only way someone could be happy like that is if they were “incapable” of love and had to settle for what you perceive to be a lesser form of happiness.

You also often see the aroace label, but rarely aroallo or alloace headcannons anywhere. The aroace label just gets used as a “this character doesn’t date and is therefore unimportant” box.

The aromanticism and asexuality rarely gets explored any further than “doesn’t date, cannot give relationship advice” (which both isn’t always the case either). People just slap the label on a character they hate and don’t do anything with it. It feels like they are checking a box. “I’ve added an ace headcannon so I can’t be called aphobic”

[blinksbigglyatyou]

could 😭😭you make quoiromantic things

like the pride flag THANK YOU IF SO

Quoiromantic

Made by me @blinksbigglyatyou

Credit not required but appreciated

[eternalgirlscout]

had a dream that I was arguing with someone who insisted that kissing could be platonic but ONLY within a very specific mathematical range of angles and percentages of lip contact. like a level of granularity you'd need a protractor to figure out. this wasn't about personal comfort, it was a universal law. and I was getting really mad and eventually yelled "TONGUE can be platonic!!" and now I understand how ancient philosophers felt when they had revelations of truth revealed to them in a dream

[arowitharrows]

coming out as aromantic and/or asexual to people is so exhausting because 10 years later they'll be like 'oh yeah I never actually understood what that really means' and it'll either be a situation where a) you've had multiple conversations about it over the years but your explanations didn't align with their pre-existing belief about asexuality and aromanticism so they just flat out didn't take in a word you said or b) they never mentioned it again after you told them, never asked a single question and never did any research on their own about the topic. I don't even know which one I find worse. Probably the silence.

[arowitharrows]

#it's so much waiting around for people to be on the same base as you #establishing pretext carefully thru interactions #finally letting it slip thru in a moment of impulse #and then just bracing yourself for them to never bring it up again #and you know that #they'll never understand or want to #that it's gonna enter one ear and pass out the next right away (via @alien-ally)

yes exactly this. like sure there are exceptions but 90% of time it's just this

[zemathememequeen]

Every week is aro week if you're not a fucking coward