Let’s pretend that the Akatsuki stuck around long enough to see mobile phones being introduced into the Naruto world. How would each of them text?
1. Pein: Sets a signature and doesn’t realize it
Pein: “Konan, make sure that everyone knows how to send me their weekly report via text I am god.”
Pein: “Oh and if you can bring me a coffee too, that would be great I am god.”
Konan: “Do you have a signature for texting?”
Pein: “What’s that? I am god.”
2. Konan: Uses emoticons a lot
Pein: “What is that supposed to mean? I am god.”
Konan: “It’s a bunny!! (^ _ ^)/ “
Pein: “Oh. Very nice Konan. I am god.”
Sasori: “WHAT do you want you idiot?”
Deidara: “Your art sucks get a real hobby.”
4. Sasori: Doesn’t reply for days
Pein: “Sasori did you manage to get that scroll I asked about? I am god.”
Pein: “I sent that 5 days ago it doesn’t matter anymore. I am god.”
5. Hidan: Doesn’t care about grammar
Hidan: “Ur a fucgucking asshol get a lif”
Kakuzu: “What the…what the hell does that even say?!”
Hidan: “fcuk u jerk shitty asswipe monee loviing pice of shit”
Kakuzu: “Don’t ever text me again.”
6. Kakuzu: Tries to scam people
Kakuzu: “Your bank account has been hacked into. Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”
Kisame: “Kakuzu I saved your number onto my phone I know it’s you”
Kakuzu: “Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”
7. Kisame: Uses it for it’s intended purpose…only
Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”
Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”
Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”
8. Itachi: Sends chain messages to Sasuke
Itachi: “If you love your brother send this to TEN PEOPLE. If you don’t then you will have BAD LUCK for the next 10 years!!”
Itachi: “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN VISITED BY THE FAMILY ANGEL! Pass this on to five people and you will be loved for the rest of your life!”
9. Tobi: Send anonymous hate since no one saved his number
???: “You are the worst leader I have ever had the misfortune to take orders from.”
Pein: “WHO IS THIS? I am god.”
???: “Your hair looks stupid.”
Hidan: “I AM GIONG TO DUCKING KILL WHOEVR THIS IS.”
???: “Samehada doesn’t really love you.”
Kisame: “You are a cruel, heartless person who doesn’t deserve happiness.”
10. Zetsu: Uses it once a year to send a mass text
Zetsu: “Happy national tree day.”
???: “I’m gonna chop down a tree today.”
Kisame: “Right back at ya Zetsu.”
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