I remember when I used to sit and think, “how have I been so lucky to get so far in life with only having so few people in my life pass away?”
Then 2018 hit and my dad died unexpectedly. It has been a continuous stream of death since then.
My friend Christina, my dad’s 3 sisters and one brother in law, a dear family friend, my lifelong neighbor who was like a grandmother to me, Debbie, Bobby, Rosie, Al, my other lifelong neighbor who was only 20, and now pap.
It is only 2 weeks since my grandfather passed and his brother, my wonderful great uncle, has been placed on hospice and one of my dearest former coworkers is at the end of her battle with a cancer that has been known to infect 200 people in history.
Another family friend got hit with needing both a liver transplant and facing an extremely rare and aggressive cancer both at the same time. She is 19.
I don’t cry anymore. I got the news about my uncle while I was driving last night. My mom was crying on the other end of the phone. My boyfriend was in the passenger seat and instinctively reached up to wipe my tears but there weren’t any. I just said, “oh well.” What do you even say anymore?
I started collecting the little prayer cards that you get at funerals. I keep them in the dashboard of my car. It is like a book. I’m going to have to keep them somewhere else.
