Ander's blog

He-Him • 27 • Vegan • I like drawing

[non-binary-boy]

Prompt: "I've been wearing the ocean all day" by @silverleafpoetry #silverleafcontest #silverleafpoetry "Automatic drive" I've been wearing the ocean all day,  if not for years.  Try to get myself out from bed,  but my clothes are soaking wet,  feel their weight,  feel the weight  of the world  on my mind, on my chest.  The dreadful burden of being alive,  the usual cold sweat post nightmare dive.  Put on dry clothes, automatic drive.  I have to make it to twenty-five.  High functioning immersion,  low functioning depression.  Need to be somewhere else, reflection.  Excuse my mental health indiscretion, can’t fake a gleeful facial expression. Some days feel like regression, so please don’t start to question. I've been wearing the ocean all day, now I just need another bed session. . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDbkr_VFxqg/?igshid=7xhxbcp4ot6s

[non-binary-boy]

I never thought it could be possible to meet your best friend into adulthood, until I met you. My life wouldn't be what it is today if I hadn't had you by my side all these years. I'm so thankful for you and for the love we share for writing. It's been so fun to make a collab with you! I'm looking forward to writing more pieces with you. Thank you for accepting my first coffee invitation. Who would have known that was the beginning of a wonderful, fruitful friendship. I love you so much, my sister. 💖 . "Among the wildflowers" Find me in your garden if a loving creature is what you're looking for. But as my wings flutter, so do my hopes. Seeing every colour even when there's none. Find me around the corner if a loyal partner is what you're aiming for. I promise I'll hold you tight when you let yourself get lost, when you decide to face the past you're not proud of. Show me the lightness,  the darkness inside your soul.  And as we find each other among the wildflowers, I'll take you to fly with me, to spread our love over the grey city. You can trust me your secrets, I'll listen them all. And I'll handle your fears so they don't trouble you more. But meet me in the garden, there's one heavy beat I no longer can hold. . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDWR1rSluqg/?igshid=1ok56d7hd45z1

[non-binary-boy]

"Ethereal satisfaction" You've been on my mind. How come you have stuck around? I’d told myself I’d keep up my guard. But I've always felt human attraction as a natural, stubborn, chemical reaction. We cannot escape from a fluent, smooth interaction that brings some sort of ethereal satisfaction. So I don’t want to ponder anymore  if I’m wrong when I long  for the warmth of your words, for the maddening charm that you so proudly own.  . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDUQAApl1kH/?igshid=1wq69yt8updj5

[non-binary-boy]

Another four-month-old piece. I believe loneliness, as Carl Jung said, it's not about not having people around but being unable to communicate the things that are important to us. . From what I can recall, since I turned 18, no matter what I did or the friends I had, tears would drown me in the darkest seas. I thought it was natural to feel lonely, I was never known for having too many friends. Part of that is on me: I'm an introvert. But then again, later I've learnt loneliness didn't only come from having no people around. . Hence, I've come to understand it had been quite hard to communicate my anguish and deepest fears. I guess bottling it all up, among other reasons, is what brought me anxiety and depression. . So yeah, my end note is that if you're not feeling well, seek for help. Talk. Let the shit out of your chest. Because if not, your health pays the price later. And I swear, you don't want it to get any worse than what already is. Take care of yourself. . "Stuck & Lonely" I get outrageously mad because I get stuck, because I can't get away from these pictures in my head from the past, from imaginary situations, from the days I still haven't lived.  I sometimes go blue, shed a tear or two because I've felt lonely from old school  to adulthood in the past in the present and in the days I still haven't lived. . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDRjNM5Fepq/?igshid=1pi0ur95es1do

[non-binary-boy]

"On a ride" I can take you on a rebellious ride. If you trust me enough to drive,  you can get on my 90s car.  We can talk in an underground bar until you see I'm indeed quite far  from being an extroverted speech star, or until the city zombies finally die, and the only ones left alive we are. Now it's fricking cold outside, or maybe my skin can't stand  not having your touch around, so I say we should spend more time. You laugh at how I stammer, and "Why don't you come home?" you add, "I can take you on a rebellious night," you pride. . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDO4imoldiG/?igshid=1kg6de5iozmvd

[non-binary-boy]

"Come on, baby" Come with me. Pull me back and down. Say you like me, say it loud. But whisper softly if I'm allowed. . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CDL2xpBl5Bq/?igshid=1tcjyo6fptv1v

[non-binary-boy]

Go try this amazing prompt "Miles away lies my heart" by my beloved friend @miraclewhispers, tag #whispersofaprompt and participate for a feature. Check her last post to see the rules and her own piece! Here it's my try! . . . "Miles away lies my heart," I would have told her, only if I'd felt she would understand. But she wouldn't, so I didn't. Instead, I asked her for some time. That's when she accused me of being too cold, I think she meant brave. That's when she blamed me for feeling nothing at all, I think she meant falling out of love. But that's when I cared for myself more than ever before. So that's when I wondered, too, "Why have I taken so long?" . . . ANDER . . . #anderwritespoetry #poetsofinstagram #instapoets  #poetrycommunity #instawriters  #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes  #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes  #transpoetry #nonbinary  #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes  #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead  #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CC_nytUp-U1/?igshid=9m2xy3tcoe4c

[non-binary-boy]

Follow #anderwritespoetry to find my new posts. "The rules of closeness" You were so far from me. Even when I was by your side, we were constellations apart. Unapproachable, untouchable. Your body dictated the rules of closeness. I always wanted to reach out, but no matter how tender I were, you managed to dodge my touch. Only you didn't know, later on I’d manage to dodge yours. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #instapoets #poetrycommunity #instawriters #poetssociety #writerssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #igpoetsociety #igpoetry #writerstag #lovequotes #transpoet #transgenderpoet #transwriter #transgenderwriter #heartbreakquotes #transpoetry #nonbinary #quotestagram #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #igwriters #inspirationalquotes #igwritersclub #poetryisnotdead #communityofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CCYoE-cl_YT/?igshid=15gkv5vsvbqav

[non-binary-boy]

"The distance between us" We were never meant to be.  How would we?  If the only one thinking about us had always been me. Why would I? If the distance between us had already made its mind for me. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #instapoetry #writingcommunity #lovequotes #communityofpoetry #distance #heartbroken https://www.instagram.com/p/CCJOTXWFf2o/?igshid=hamilwmurf07

[non-binary-boy]

"The worst events of my existence" Some nights when I stay up, I am hit by waves of memories, the worst events of my existence, the human post-its of my wickedness, the natural disaster I have been, the people I have run away from, the people I have caused sorrow, the sorrow I have absconded from, the guilt, the ever-lasting guilt that has ever since been following me to remind me that I have been an unkind being and hence, one not worthy of absolution. ANDER #poetsofinstagram #transwriter #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry #lgbtpoet #streamofconsciousness #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #instapoetry #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #instawriters https://www.instagram.com/p/CCGqO2lFlr2/?igshid=pxt3i5kisfp7

[non-binary-boy]

"It’s my self-esteem" How do you let go of something that never was? You never do, you just get used to the void. How do you go on after an overdose? You puke and heal, you’re getting clean. Will I be thrown away like a disposable bag? It’s not your fault, it’s my self-esteem. Will I be a deficient draft of a fully narrated life? It’s all I’ve known, to come and leave. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #instapoetry #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #poemxheaven #bleedingsoulpoetry #streetwritersofficial #globalagepoetry #madewords #poeticmen #apoeticlove #theurbanpoets #poetriespots #heartofquill #thepoeticcotterie #apoetpathsway #writersflare #bymepoetrylove #packpoetry  #mirroredpieces #bymepoetry #poetryinfocus #societyofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEElRJFsEV/?igshid=1oeejtbfaz8n6

[non-binary-boy]

"All you did was thunder" Each flashback I get, each sad song I play, innocent lightening. I still don't get why, because all you did was thunder. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #instapoetry #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #poemxheaven #bleedingsoulpoetry #streetwritersofficial #globalagepoetry #madewords #poeticmen #apoeticlove #theurbanpoets #poetriespots #heartofquill #thepoeticcotterie #apoetpathsway #writersflare #bymepoetrylove #packpoetry  #mirroredpieces #bymepoetry #poetryinfocus #societyofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CB-7Fy1l7B5/?igshid=29ciof68d81t

[non-binary-boy]

New title design. What do you think about it? . "Out of Nowhere" This drama, so sheer; it rushed over, took hold, got me landing down into the thought to let go. It was sharp and painful. I cried out, then realised this body was back onto knees while ordering me to think! Was there anything at all? It seemed hopeful getting it out, to go on or fall. Then I turned blue and felt relief, pressed to the cold floor. This simple pleasure had materialised out of nowhere. So usual of me. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #nonbinarytrans #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #poemxheaven #bleedingsoulpoetry #streetwritersofficial #globalagepoetry #madewords #poeticmen #apoeticlove #theurbanpoets #poetriespots #heartofquill #thepoeticcotterie #apoetpathsway #writersflare #bymepoetrylove #packpoetry  #mirroredpieces #bymepoetry #poetryinfocus #societyofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CB8OliZFvrL/?igshid=mo9jotcrtq1n

[non-binary-boy]

"At Any Moment" I often find myself wondering if there is any moment in the day where you think of me at the same time I'm thinking of you. Or if you think of me— at all. ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #nonbinarytrans #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #poemxheaven #bleedingsoulpoetry #streetwritersofficial #globalagepoetry #madewords #poeticmen #apoeticlove #theurbanpoets #poetriespots #heartofquill #thepoeticcotterie #apoetpathsway #writersflare #bymepoetrylove #packpoetry  #mirroredpieces #bymepoetry #poetryinfocus #societyofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CB5qzhSlyER/?igshid=1hyh7khcjbrw7

[non-binary-boy]

Black out poetry out of "Milkman" by Anna Burns. "Then it Was Gone" It wasn’t enough. She didn’t stay for stories. I'd failed in being. Typical too, to reveal to me as astounding whilst at the same time she was showing enough wit, which inspired me confidence. I gave her the truth. But all she wanted was to settle her imaginings. An intensified version of the usual I was knowing, because of the perniciousness of the secrecy that existed in this place. At cross purposes, as always we were, but then I did attempt because in that moment, a lonely moment, I longed for her. For her properly to perceive me. I felt a comfort go through me because she’d paused to consider I might be telling the truth. I could see how easy it could be to love her. Then it was gone and she broke off. —ANDER https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3XX_Ol4yL/?igshid=1wih9dja4go7q

[whenthenightfallslonelinesscall]

💔

[non-binary-boy]

"The Song of my Life" I made a quick physical self-examination, felt the heartache of being damn alive, and in that moment, I realised my knowledge of the world consisted of too many unforgettable wounds. Unable to stand,  waves of pain pushing  from my bloodstream,  burning my insides. Playing the song of my life over and over: "So fucking lonely." ANDER . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetssociety #lgbtpoetry  #lgbtpoet #transpoet #transpoetry #nonbinary #nonbinarytrans #writingcommunity #communityofpoetry #poemxheaven #bleedingsoulpoetry #streetwritersofficial #globalagepoetry #madewords #poeticmen #apoeticlove #theurbanpoets #poetriespots #heartofquill #thepoeticcotterie #apoetpathsway #writersflare #bymepoetrylove #packpoetry  #mirroredpieces #bymepoetry #poetryinfocus #societyofpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CBvVsvAFtnz/?igshid=tmbq6sp93zsv