Gay as Hell

Hello! My name is Riley. I'm 26, nonbinary, and in love with women. This is my (mostly) SFW queer sideblog. TERFs can take their hate someplace else!

[measureyourlifeincake]

i was gonna make a post like "this pride month, pour one out for the polyam folks for having the worst flag"

(and like, i know theres been a bunch of flags, but this is the one i've seen the most)

however! when i went to google the polyam flag, i found this website, where they apparently held a vote for a new flag that accurately represented the community (and, presumably, didn't look like absolute dogshit), and they apparently settled on this one!

i hadn't seen it before, but I think it looks really nice and if you check their website, it seems like they have good reasoning/backing/community support, so I really hope I see it around more!!!

[andhumanslovedstories]

I love when there’s a really bending heavy episode because you just KNOW Sokka is about to get the dumbest C plot

[andhumanslovedstories]

They stuck that boy in a hole for 22 minutes

[closet-keys]

I feel like I need to write an explainer on transmedicalism cause I keep seeing people either not identifying actual transmedicalism or people saying things are transmedicalism that are not transmedicalism

transmedicalist statements:

being trans is a medical disorder

being trans needs to be diagnosed by a doctor or psychiatrist

not everyone who disagrees with their assignment is really trans, and the fakers make the true transsexuals look bad

you can "fully" transition and then you're not trans anymore. trans only refers to the medical transitioning process. if you find out you are not trans, you can detransition back. the goal is to not be trans, and transition is a middle stage to get through as quickly and privately as possible.

"male" and "female" are real, biological realities and anyone who says they are not one or the other is lying or delusional

not transmedicalist statements:

a lot of trans people need and/or desire access to surgical and/or hormonal healthcare options which are currently restricted on the basis of sex assignment at birth

when healthcare access is denied due to a patient's diagnosis of "gender dysphoria," that denial is specifically targeting trans people for being trans (even though not all trans people have that diagnosis)

sometimes trans people assume they do not want transition care because they have internalized transphobic propaganda about what it is, how it works, and how accessible it is for them. giving them information about it can help them make a more educated choice about what they want.

nonbinary people pursue medical transition too. this is not at all uncommon. sometimes nonbinary people, particularly transfeminized nonbinary people, need additional support and encouragement to know they are not "taking resources" from "real" trans people before they are able to admit they need and/or want transition care.

[proudnb]

In case you need to be reminded, transitioning as a nonbinary person is worth the trouble.

You deserve to take the time, resources, and help necessary to change.

Becoming the best you is worth it for yourself and for your community.

[alliekills]

encouraging the girl you like to kiss other pretty girls in front of you because it’s fucking hot and first person pov just ain’t enough to appreciate the way she falls into a kiss like she fell into you

[ghostongasoline]

butch vs. butch

credit Annabelle Olendzki

[cyprozombiegirl]

It makes me really happy that my fist kiss was with my best friend when I was 11 (she was 12) and now she’s a lesbian and i’m a girl and a lesbian

[cyprozombiegirl]

also it was christmas eve (she was goy) and she sang silent night for me right before she asked to kiss me, and I still love that song to this day because of how pretty she sounded singing it

[papercranesandpride]

It’s very funny to me when TERFs and transphobes talk about how fake and ugly neovaginas are because I know exactly how full of shit they are. I’m a certified nursing aide. If you’re not familiar, 90% of our job is toileting. We also help with feeding, dressing, cleaning, and transferring, but if you think of how many times a day you need to pee versus the rest of that, you can understand just how much time your average CNA spends looking at genitalia. I haven’t even been doing this for two years and I’ve seen way more vaginas than I could count. 

Anyway, when I was doing some training, I overheard two CNAs from a different facility saying this:

CNA 1: Did you know that [patient] is transgender?

CNA 2: Wait really? 

CNA 1: Yeah, she was telling me about it. I never would have guessed.

CNA 2: Oh yeah I definitely couldn’t tell.

These people look at vaginas for God only knows how many hours a week with the amount that most CNAs pick up shifts. Plus they work in a nursing home, so this was an elderly woman. She could have gotten her bottom surgery 40 years ago when surgical techniques weren’t as advanced as they are now. These people who professionally work with genitalia still had no clue she wasn’t born with hers until she told them. 

So next time you see someone talking about how neovaginas are don’t look real or are just open wounds or whatever, please know they’re just wrong. If a CNA can’t tell a neovagina from before current advances in vaginoplasty apart from the cis ones they look at every day, neither can they. 

(Obvious disclaimer that a) with absolutely any surgery, some people will get bad results, so not every single neovagina is impossible to tell apart from a cis one, and b) being indistinguishable from a cis person is not every trans person’s goal, we shouldn’t have to pass to be valid, and some surgical techniques like zero-depth or phallus-preserving vaginoplasty won't be identical to a cis vagina by design. Neither of those detract from my point)

[upandoutcomic]

Ayyyy it's a never-ending process of unpacking things ova heaaaa.

[foxgirlmindcrank]

It fucks us up that like. Egg and T4T were made by Transfems specifically for transfems but we can't have anything. T4T got co-opted to man any trans for trans relationship when it was translesbian term because so many of us seek out relationships with each other because TME people commit transmisogyny so easily. Egg is because like. It cracks open and there's a chick inside. Now it's any fucking closeted trans identity. Fuck, We don't even get to have transfem. TME feminine identified trans women use it now. We don't get anything. We don't get fucking anything.

[foxgirlmindcrank]

They took the T Girl out of T Girl Tummy Tuesday!!!!

[babehog]

Feeling sad about the transmisogynized experience tonight

[babehog]

I'm so tired of the paranoia. Anxiously second guessing every little action of people as soon as they say something that's slightly off. It's exhausting. And it is unfair. To everyone involved. I'm able to tell that a lot of the time the anxiety is unwarranted. That doesn't mean it goes away. I'll still worry. I'll still be expected to shut up and let it happen, I'll be expected to let it slide. To forgive, to forget.

They want to keep abusing us and then wave their petty little love above us. Just out of reach. I hate that we get put through this. I hate feeling the clear change in behavior from people when they find out I'm a trans woman. I hate how they think we can't tell.

[jeniferprince]

what if we kissed in the library

check more of my work on instagram // buy prints here

[skunkes]

only ever on paper

[mousidy]

kinda bothered that people don't seem to imagine fertility could be a sensitive subject for trans women

[ihateearlgreyteaitshorrible]

The only times ive ever gotten sympathy for being sad i cant get pregnant is when the people i was talking to thought i was cis (examples below) (aside from by other transfems and not talking about my close friends of any/all genders)

I was at a queer social in my town, i was out as a lesbian but was stealth on being trans, and while we were talking the topic of having kids as a queer person came up and i said something like “i cant have kids anyway which makes me kinda sad, but you know” and I got a lot of condolences from the group, it was pretty nice and made me feel a lot more safe and seen

I was at a similar event in a different town a few years earlier, I hadnt started hrt yet and was pretty clocky, to my knowledge everyone there knew i was a trans woman, and a similar conversation came up, so I said something along the lines of “it definitely makes me pretty sad to not be able to get pregnant” and people the conversation was immediately like “yeah that sucks haha anyway(…)” and you know, it felt kind of bad

I was talking to some people who knew i was transgender at a party because of my cute pride pin, and we were all talking about how like having a family and how expensive it is, and someone asked me if I planned on having kids, so I said “oh well id like to but I can’t get pregnant so im not sure im gonna be able to” and they said “oh well you can still just, you know haha” which was a very upsetting thing for someone to say to me obviously

I was talking to some people who thought I was cis after a different event where they said something like “I mean women are objectively better than men, we can create life!” And I said “I cant actually get pregnant, so I don’t love that kind of talking point” and she was so apologetic and sympathetic about it to me, and immediately took it back that someone would be better than someone else because they could give birth

And its not like its other peoples jobs to console me, but it definitely feels like i was being dismissed when the people i was talking to knew i was trans, because we’re just expected to be ok with it, like I cant be really generally upset that I can’t have children in the way I want to, earlier today I was thinking about how will never feel the feeling of a baby kicking and I got pretty upset for like an hour

In conclusion don’t just assume your transfem friends are just ok with not being able to be pregnant, and please stop dismissing it as a silly thing like a lot of people do

[sophiesalacia]

and dont even get me started on periods. doesnt matter if you dont want to be fertile or get pregnant or give birth or not, if you so much as breathe a word about feeling dysphoric for not experiencing periods, or experiencing them in a way that doesnt fully align with the way cis women experience them, chances are the nearest women around will immediately launch into a condescending sermon about why you dont actually want them and in fact you're so lucky you don't get them (even if you do get them in some fashion, because many women will never see this as equivalent).

and if you dare to talk about your period and how it differs or is similar to their experiences, you can watch the feminism leave their bodies in real time as they decide that actually womanhood is when your vagina bleeds, even if they humor you and agree that you experience "period-like symptoms" because they're just so understanding and gracious you know.

it hurts my heart when i see a trans girl talking about her "period-like symptoms" because nobody arrives at that terminology who isnt terrified of somehow appropriating womanhood or diminishing the lived experiences of women or what the fuck ever. and because women are supposed to stick together, if all these women are getting mad at you for saying these things then clearly you're in the wrong, right? so you carve out a little woman-adjacent space for yourself and you preface all your statements with disclaimers and you put little asterisks on the end of your femininity in the hopes that they'll tolerate you even if they dont accept you.

well fuck that. be loud and brash and unapologetically own your womanhood. there is no feminism without trans acceptance. stand beside the women that embrace you as one of their own, fully, without hesitation or qualification. love your sisters and be loved in turn. you deserve nothing less.

[emilybunny]

Kissing your T4T sister makes the world a better place

[non-binary-loving-women]

It would appear that I am still not immune to TERF dogwhistles

[savvyfemm]

Sorry I’m insane. Thinking about being at a party and laying in a couch with a butch and I’m like right next to them, very close, one hand playing with their hair listening to whatever they’re talking about and everyone else can see we are having a moment. And anytime anyone comes over to just say hi, I rest my head on their shoulder so it’s very obvious