Nonbinary Culture

Our community and our language are young and developing. This blog aims to support and promote the language and concepts we create for ourselves, with the hope that in the decades to come the NB community will be as solid and rich with history and culture as any other queer community. This blog is anti-TERF, anti-REG and anti-Gender Reductionism. We support all NBs who support the needs of other NBs. We stand for nblw, nblm, nblnb, NB wlw, NB mlm, ace NBs, aro NBs, ace/aro NBs and all combinations thereof.

[wedontcareaboutyourbinary]

Non-Binary Discussion Discord

Are you non-binary/genderqueer? Do you like talking about community issues, vocabulary, discourse, etc? Hell yeah, come hang!

Our server is a chill, intimate, friendly space to talk about non-binary identity and community. We’re small but established and active. You’re welcome to pop in, take a look around and see if it’s for you!

Must be 16+

No REGs (ace exclusionists, biphobes, etc)

Obviously no TERFs

No SWERFs, no “kink critical”, no antis (the server is not “anti-anti”, but we also do not tolerate moral wank about the sex lives of consenting adults)

https://discord.gg/3f2C3B

[nlmgalaxy]

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Two digitally rendered pride flags. They each have three stripes. The middle stripe is half the size of the top and bottom stripes. The first flag has the following colors, from top to bottom: pastel orange, white, lavender. The second flag has mint, white, and the same lavender from the first flag. End description.]

I made flags for the attraction terms recently coined by @wedontcareaboutyourbinary​! First flag (left) is for trixensexual (trixenromantic, trixenamoric, etc): A person who is attracted exclusively to women and non-binary people.  Color meanings:      - Orange: blend of traditional pink for women and yellow for non-binary folks      - White: expansiveness of the multi-attraction spectrum      - Lavender: queerness and non-normativity

Second flag (right) is for torensexual (torenromantic, torenamoric, etc): A person who is attracted exclusively to men and non-binary people. Color meanings:     - Mint: blend of traditional blue for men and yellow for non-binary folks     - White: expansiveness of the multi-attraction spectrum     - Lavender: queerness and non-normativity Note: these attraction terms are not specifically for use by nonbinary people. They can be used by anybody regardless of gender. They also apply regardless of what exact sort of nonbinary people you are/aren’t attracted to. See the original post for more information.

Please do not start discourse on this post, and do not “repurpose” these flags, thank you!

[wedontcareaboutyourbinary]

“women + nbs” and “men + nbs” orientation language

Our proposal: Trixen- and Toren- (-sexual/romantic/amoric, etc)

After our recent post about the legitimization of “women + nbs” and “men + nbs” orientations, we were prompted to search for what the language for that actually is.

Turns out, it’s actually… fairly lacking? There are the juvelic terms, which are geared mostly towards multi-gender NBs and require specifying your own gender(s), and are all different depending on your very particular gender/attraction arrangement. There are other terms like neptunic and uranic that rely on alignment language/categorizing NBs into a trinary in order to separate which kinds of nbs you are and are not attracted to. There do not appear to be any general terms that simply mean “I’m attracted to a binary gender and NBs” that allow one to specify one’s preferences or lack thereof without them being built into the term itself. 

Here are our suggestions for this language: 

Trixensexual: (Trixenromantic, trixenamoric, etc) A person who is attracted exclusively to women and non-binary people. 

Torensexual: (Torenromantic, torenamoric, etc) A person who is attracted exclusively to men and non-binary people. 

These words combine “trix” and “tor”, from the feminine and masculine latin suffixes that were also used in the creation of trixic* and toric**, with “en”; alongside X, “N” is often used as a marker of non-binary identity, or can refer to the first syllable/sound of “enby” or “nonbinary”.   “Trix” + “N” = Trixen- “Tor” + “N” = Toren-

Who can use these terms?  Anyone. Cis people, binary trans people, non-binary people… anyone. 

Can I use them in addition to/as a modification to another orientation?  Yep! You can be a toren polysexual, a trixen bisexual, a trixen lesbian, a toren mlm… Whatever you want. As long as you consider yourself only attracted to men + nbs (toren-) or women + nbs (trixen-) you can use these terms in conjunction with whatever you want, or you can use them all by themselves.

 What if I’m only attracted to women and nbs who are also women/partial women/women aligned?  You can use trixen-, and simply further specify your preference when you want to. 

What if I can be attracted to men and most kinds of NBs, but I’m just not attracted to women-aligned NBs/partial women/etc? Still fine to use toren-, and to further specify your preference when you want to.

What if I’m attracted to women and any kinds of NBs, including male-aligned ones/partial men, just not binary men?  Still appropriate to use trixen-! 

I’m a woman, and I’m attracted to men and NBs, but not to other women. Lots of people consider me straight, but I know that it’s disrespectful and inaccurate to blanketly consider my attraction to NB people straight attraction. Can I use torensexual?  Yep! Regardless of whether you can be attracted to any kinds of NBs or only specific kinds, you can use torensexual to describe yourself. Thanks for recognizing that your attraction to NBs isn’t the same as your attraction to men, and doesn’t fit within the paradigm of straightness! 

Just say bisexual…… :/  No! :) 

Attraction to NBs is fetishizing their identity. Categorical attraction to NBs isn’t a real orientation, it’s chasing.  Fuck off! :) 

*trixic: An adjective form of NBLW. An NB who is attracted to women, exclusively or in addition to other genders.  **toric: An adjective form of NBLM. An NB who is attracted to men, exclusively or in addition to other genders. 

[queerlection]

[Image description - Images of a diamoric, sapphic, achillean and aroace pride flag with the text: My existence is a revolution. End description.]

[questingqueer]

Nonbinary people who do medically transition are still 100% non-binary and valid

Non-binary people who get tired of explaining trans 101 and let people think they’re binary or cis are still valid as non-binary

Non-binary people who get upset because they have to go thru life w/ everyone they meet assuming they’re a binary gender are valid

Non-binary people who don’t medically transition are still 100% non-binary and valid

[mlnb-positivity]

In love with a genderless alien goo blob? Eddie Brock is a true mlnb icon.

[nonbinary-culture]

Hey, as the person who coined the terms and designed the flags, how do you feel about me putting the presentation flags on redbubble (for no profit). I totally understand if the answer is no, I'd just really like to have something wearable and I can't find it anywhere! Also if you want to do it yourself, let me know I'll totally buy.

I’m definitely fine with that!! (Although I can only speak to swan/fox/stag, as I neither coined nor designed the flags of the other scale.)

[nonbinarypastels]

what a beautiful day to remember that not all masculinity is toxic and being male or male-aligned is not a bad thing to be!

[wedontcareaboutyourbinary]

Represent NBs in romantic relationships you cowards

Relationships with boys!!

Relationships with girls!!

Relationships with each other!!

Relationships that are not presented as straight!!

Relationships that are not presented as new flavors of wlw or mlm!!

Represent NBLW, NBLM and NBLNB relationships!!!

You don’t have to be a content creator with an audience to do this, you can just be a fan-content creator, you can just be showing your OCs, you can just be talking about your headcanons on tumblr dot corn, please help NBs feel seen and desired separately from wlw, mlm, and m/f contexts!!!

[marlowelune]

🍁🦌🥀🌟

Gold-glowing stag; Joan of Arc; Sun-crowned Apollo

(ey/he)

[stagconcepts]

heya!! i’m a new stag blog. 

about/faq

[agentduckorico]

Boys and girls are good but u know whos even better? Enbies.

[vaporwavedave]

can anyone tell me what The Discourse™️ has decided the difference between bi and pan is? Like last time I checked people were insisting that being bi isn’t exclusionary of trans people but like, whats the diff then? Is it just exclusionary of nb/agender people then or?? Is there no difference at all?

[sparrowpraxis]

As a bi nb who’s here for hir pan friends:

Bi means attraction to two or more genders. It can exclude certain genders, at anyone’s discretion. It can also mean attraction that takes gender into account.

Pan means attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender.

They overlap, but are different in a lot of ways. They mean different things and they have different history. Neither of them are inherently exclusionary.

[nonbinary-culture]

And as a pan NB who’s here for eir bi friends, I second this!

The differences are about history, community, connotation, context, personal preference… that sort of thing. Except in the case of bi people who are NOT attracted to all genders, their functional *meaning* is more or less the same. However, the reasons people choose one and not the other are important, personal reasons and should always be respected!

[autistic-skitty]

I’m bisexual and nonbinary, and I identify exclusively as bisexual. Something about personally identifying as pansexual feels… weird and wrong to me. A lot of people class pansexual as “inclusive to trans girls and trans boys and nonbinary people” and it’s like… Bisexuality includes transgender people as well, it’s not some cis-only thing.

The actual meaning of bisexuality is “attraction to two or more genders”, and those genders you’re attracted to can be boys and nonbinary people, girls and nonbinary, girls and boys, etc. The binary gender attraction also includes transgender men and women. And bisexual attraction can be described in different ways for each individual person.

But I think the main difference between pansexuality and bisexuality is that with bisexuality, you can have a preference towards a certain gender(s). That preference can change with the day / week / month etc, or be a static preference that stays the same all the time. With pansexuality, it’s fairly even attraction to all genders.

[nonbinary-culture]

That’s not true, and I’d appreciate you not assigning incorrect definitions to pan, which you don’t even identify with, just as much as you’d appreciate non-bi people not mischaracterizing bisexuality!

I’m pan and I have preferences! There are plenty of good reasons to identify as bi and not pan, or pan and not bi — we don’t need to make up definitional differences. Thanks!

[epipiphoria]

being nonbinary is such a unique and beautiful experience and you never need to apologize for it

[vaporwavedave]

can anyone tell me what The Discourse™️ has decided the difference between bi and pan is? Like last time I checked people were insisting that being bi isn’t exclusionary of trans people but like, whats the diff then? Is it just exclusionary of nb/agender people then or?? Is there no difference at all?

[sparrowpraxis]

As a bi nb who’s here for hir pan friends:

Bi means attraction to two or more genders. It can exclude certain genders, at anyone’s discretion. It can also mean attraction that takes gender into account.

Pan means attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender.

They overlap, but are different in a lot of ways. They mean different things and they have different history. Neither of them are inherently exclusionary.

[nonbinary-culture]

And as a pan NB who’s here for eir bi friends, I second this!

The differences are about history, community, connotation, context, personal preference… that sort of thing. Except in the case of bi people who are NOT attracted to all genders, their functional *meaning* is more or less the same. However, the reasons people choose one and not the other are important, personal reasons and should always be respected!

[vaporwavedave]

Would u guys mind giving some examples of why you would identify as one or the other? I usually use pan when I’m in queer spaces but when I’m not I typically introduce myself as bi to make things less complicated! Thanks!

[nonbinary-culture]

The exorsexist presentations of bisexuality that pervaded popular culture while I was a young queer trying to figure myself out made it very difficult for me to form a personal connection with the label in that formative era. I didn’t ever actively dislike the label! I just never formed a connection with it. By the time I understood how open and inclusive the bi label can be, I’d already latched onto pan, and this is how I’m comfortable. I’ll always support my bi allies and defend the correct definitions of their orientation! We are siblings in this m-spec community and I’ll throw down for y’all as much as I hope you will for me. But personally, I can’t connect myself to the word “bi” when I see it in culture or posts or w/e any more than I can connect myself to the words “girl” or “boy”. It just doesn’t connect or resonate.

One of the practical things I like about the pan label is that telling people I’m pan immediately forces a conversation/acknowledgement of there being more than two genders. Bisexuality doesn’t force that conversation in the same way. I understand why that’s actually an advantage for many! But it’s not for me. :)

[vaporwavedave]

can anyone tell me what The Discourse™️ has decided the difference between bi and pan is? Like last time I checked people were insisting that being bi isn’t exclusionary of trans people but like, whats the diff then? Is it just exclusionary of nb/agender people then or?? Is there no difference at all?

[sparrowpraxis]

As a bi nb who’s here for hir pan friends:

Bi means attraction to two or more genders. It can exclude certain genders, at anyone’s discretion. It can also mean attraction that takes gender into account.

Pan means attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender.

They overlap, but are different in a lot of ways. They mean different things and they have different history. Neither of them are inherently exclusionary.

[nonbinary-culture]

And as a pan NB who’s here for eir bi friends, I second this!

The differences are about history, community, connotation, context, personal preference... that sort of thing. Except in the case of bi people who are NOT attracted to all genders, their functional *meaning* is more or less the same. However, the reasons people choose one and not the other are important, personal reasons and should always be respected!

[abandonedabandoned]

Diamoric Terms (a better worded post, finally)

[abandonedabandoned]

fathermartinarchimbaud:

fathermartinarchimbaud:

Hello! About several months back, I posted two seperate posts about Diamoric specific community terms. They weren’t exactly the best worded, so here’s a brand new post for people!

Sapphic communities have butch and fem, (with tomcat and doe being seen used by bi and pan ladies,) Achillean communities have bear and twink (and about a hundred other lovely terms,) so in the spirit of things, I coined peacock, crow/raven, and kiwi.

But Hatch, what do those mean?

The Avian Spectrum, as we can call it, isn’t about body type or masc/fem presentation, its about style presentation. A peacock diamoric would be flashy (bright makeup and haircolors, colorful clothes, or anything flamboyant) and a kiwi diamoric would seem like a librarian (neutral earthy tones, simple and nice clothes, simple.) Crow/Raven is in the middle of that, and if you’re really wanting some in-the-middle terms, pigeon is between peacock and crow, and falcon is between crow and kiwi!

Examples:

Peacock!

X | X | X

Crow/Raven!

X | X | X

Kiwi!

X | X | X

NOTICE!!

Some people have Misinterpreted the terms, so I would like to put a few facts straight:

These have nothing to do with anything but how flashy you dress. Its not about effort. I can put hours into makeup to make it look like theres no makeup on my face, and I can slap glitter on my entire body in ten seconds or less. 

It has nothing to do with how fancy you look, either. A tweed suit is fancier than two clashing neon animal prints, but one is still kiwi and the other is still peacock.

@nblnb-suggestion​ heres my original post about the terms!