Cosmic Funnies
AnasAbdin
Game of Thrones Daily
Cosimo Galluzzi
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
Three Goblin Art
h
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
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oozey mess
Show & Tell
roma★
taylor price
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@nonbinary-disaster
This user supports AO3
This user is anti-censorship
This user believes in “don’t like, don’t read”
This user believes in “ship and let ship”
This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character
Jason: I love this place. *shoves a peice of fudge in his mouth*
Dick: Let me try- *reaches out but gets his hand smacked* Ow! Stingy!
Jason: You have your own food. *eats more* Oh my God, I would marry whoever made this fudge!
Dani, popping up from seemingly nowhere: Really~? Because hes single!
Dick: *snorts loudly and chokes on his cake*
Jason: Woah-uh I was exagger-
Dan: Dani get over here and help me fill the display!
Dani: Make Danny do it! I'm trying to get him a boyfriend!
Jason: Wai-
Dan: He's making the Smith's 9 layer wedding cake! He's only one with the patience to decorate that monstrosity, you have to help me!
Dani: But Danny's going to be alone forever if I don't help him!
Tim: Wow. *munching on some chocolate-expresso candied popcorn*
Jason: Look, kid, what I said was just an exaggeration! I don't actually want to-
Danny: I heard yelling. *walks out of kitchen with flour on his apron, hot pink icing on his cheek, and really bad eye bags*
Jason: Ooooh wow *blinking rapidly*
Dan: Dani isn't helping me set up the display cases!
Danny: Okay, Dan, you don't have to get angry, deep breaths bro. And Dani, please help Dan? I'll give you an extra week off as soon as wedding season ends, I promise.
Dan: Fine.*starts doing some breathing exercises*
Dani, immediately cowed: Sorry Danny, I'll get to work.
Danny: Thanks. *gives her a greatful smile before heading back into the kitchen.*
Dani: Sorry for bothering you sir-
Jason: Whats his name? His phone number? How do I get to know that God of a man?!
Dani: *shoots Dan a smug look* Well~
Dan: Oh great. *rolls his eyes*
at some point during high school i drew a centaur girl with large breasts because i wanted to draw a character that looked like me, and my biofamily got real upset about it. "why are they so large" because mine are that large. "wouldn't that make it hard for her to run" interesting that you think that but keep trying to make me run. "don't draw things like this, it's morally bad" ok i and my apparently inherently pornographic body will just be over here trying to avoid being looked at
this is not to say porn is bad, tbc. i just wasn't a fan as a teenager of being treated like it was impossible to look at bodies like mine non-sexually. frankly i'm not a fan of it now either lmao. i keep kind of thinking about how so many female protagonists are canonically flat or small-chested girls/women who textually wish they had larger breasts, but i can't remember the last time i encountered a protagonist with large breasts where that fact wasn't meant to be sexual. what is up with that dynamic and how do i destroy it
it's like... in order to be accepted as a woman, the character has to desire the idealized form of The Perfect Woman (or if she's a #feminist, reject and detest that same idealized form, but the focus on it is often still there). but in order to be a non-pornographic protagonist, she can't attain it. the moment you have a large enough chest you don't really get to be a normal character anymore, you have to go to sex world. idk. probably someone better read than me has written some sort of papers on this. idk what search terms to use though
actually i would posit that this backlash against “meaningless flowery tumblr prose” is a direct result of people very proudly proclaiming for their entire adulthoods that they refuse to read classics. you would be so much less annoying if you had to sit through a dickens novel.
i don’t even mean that you have to come out of the experience liking the prose now, i just mean that you’d shut your mouth before you insinuate that this sort of thing is either indicative of a posturing writer making up for a lack of creative talent or that it’s a completely modern thing that happens in novels. and also it would take you at least a few months to finish your assigned reading so we’d all be free of you until then.
Crucially, to be a flaming Doylist on main:
Dickens, as well as many other overwrought, flowery, description-and-setting lilly-gilding dipshits were paid by the word.
Go read some Dumas if you want to roll around in language and get fourteen adjectives, three discursions, and four ways of saying the same goddamn thing in every available orifice.
SAFE ANTI SPOILER SPACE TADC
Repost if your account is a safe anti spoiler place of Tadc, We shall NOT spread spoilers of EP 9 till it comes out on YouTube. Lets make This last experience enjoyable for everyone!
This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years.
If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life.
I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.
always reblog money snake
DPxDC Idea/Prompt
On Dick's way home one day he sees advertisement for a new bakery. Since he loves supporting new small businesses, he pops in to grab some assorted cupcakes for the family as dessert.
Cut to after dinner, and Tim takes a bite of the cupcake Dick picked out for him; a dark chocolate cupcake with coffee filling, and vanilla buttercream topped with a chocolate drizzle and a chocolate covered expresso bean. Needless to say, Tim is hooked! Its so decadent, but not too sweet.
The next day, after getting the name from Dick, Tim goes to the bakery for lunch and to pick up some donuts for the brake room. He orders just the donuts and his cupcake, but the owner, Danny, shoves a croissant sandwich into his hands too, telling him its bad to only eat sweets. Tim tries to pay for it, but Danny refuses playfully pushing him out the door.
The next day Tim returns, and the next, and the next, and the next. He claims hes just hooked on the food, but anyone can tell hes grown very fond of Danny, and their quip little chats. But, he's a lot less thin and much healthier looking, he's eating more meals and eating less coffee, even if his coffee consumption is still high and what he no longer drinks has just been replaced with coffee flavored sweets.
Danny has become rather fond of his first regular customer. And if this fondness has lead to him making more and more coffee flavored treats, and more non-sweet ready to go options, well then so what? No one is actually complaining.
awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE
Danny: Mom! Dad! W-what are you doing here?
Maddie: Your father and I knew that you were disappointed to miss out on the family reunion because of your husband's surgery, so we decided to skip it this year and come give you some support in caring for him!
Jack: As well as giving you a break. You must be under so much stress taking care of him and the kids!
Danny, having been lying about his marriage for the past two years to get out of family obligations: Wow... that's so sweet of you.
Maddie: I'm so excited to meet everyone! When you said you were moving to a new Earth, I knew communication through the Ghost Zone was going to be rough, but only being able to connect audio calls once every four months was much harder to endure than I thought it would be.
Jack: Not to mention traveling here. We had to do so many pit stops to fix up the Spectator Speeder and let me tell you, some of those floating rocks were hard to land on. Sometimes makes me wish we had your ghosts powers.
Danny: Yeah....you both went through so much effort. To vist me. In a different dimension.
Maddie: We three! Jazz is here too.
Danny: *gulps* The whole family is here.
Jack: Oh, don't make that face. The Fenton Reunion happens every four years. We'll see your aunts, uncles, and cousins next time. You're much more important to us, so no need for guilt.
Danny: I- right. Of course. Um, have you guys eaten? I can treat us to some dinner before we go back to my place. My, um, husband is at a doctor's appointment with my eldest while I did some work. I'm going on emergency family leave but I had to fill out the paperwork at the office today. Yup yup, thats why I'm here. At my workplace.
Maddie: You alright sweetie? You're sweating a lot.
Danny: I'm fine!
Jack: You work here? This office building is so nice. What does Wayne Enterprise do? I know you have a management position but I never really understood what department exactly.
Danny, who works in the mail room: Um, Wayne Enterprise does a little of everything. I'm in... communications.
Jack: But what exactly does communications do-
Danny: Excuse me for a bit. I have to let my husband know I'm going to be a little late.
Maddie: Oh! Don't tell the kids we're here. We want it to be a suprise. We brought gifts for all of them! Jazz is actually wrapping them up in the Speeder now!
Danny: Ha ha ha ha of course! Excuse me! *walking away pretending to be tapping a contact on his phone* shit shit shit. What do I do???
Damian appearing from the shadows: You told falsehoods.
Danny: Agh!
Damian: ....
Danny: Mr. Wayne Al Ghul! I-ugh- hello! I mean, good afternoon, sir. I ugh-
Damian: Silence
Danny: Yes sir.
Damian: I heard everything, and while I normally find lies distasteful, I find your parents endearing. It could benefit my family. I shall give you aid in your facade.
Danny: What?
Damain: My father recently had surgery on his right hip- a accident on our extreme skiing trip- and refuses to listen to our family doctor. He will not get the proper bed rest he's been ordered, but he would if you acted like his very upset husband with visting in-laws.
Danny: I- Mr. Wayne would never agree to that.
Damian: You seem to believe Father has a choice.
Danny: I-
Damian: I messaged Richard about the plan. He's gathering my siblings' support as we speak. When you arrive after dinner with your family, Father will have no time to deny anything. We shall trap him in social expectations. By the way, you are Timothy's safe queer adult who was there for him in the early years of his self-discovery journey and now he wants to help you. Its how we guilt trip father.
Danny: I can't lie to Bruce Wayne like that!
Damian: It's too late. Timothy already made a shirt of your face with the words "My Gay Yoda" on it. Your path has been chosen.
Danny: What-
Jack: Danny? Who's this?
Damian holding out his arms for a hug: Grandfather, I am Damian, Father's and Dad's youngest.
Jack: Damian! Its so nice to met you. Call me Gran-papa! *crushes him in a bear hug*
Damian in the most monotone voice ever: Gran-papa, I can not feel my arms.
Maddie: Aren't you just the cutest! Danny used to say the same thing at your age whenever his dad hugged him. I'm your Gran-mama, by the way! JAZZ COME MEET THE BABY!
Danny in a horrified whisper: Did my boss trap me in my own web of lies?
"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"
Well actually YES but also:
Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:
- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.
- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.
- I can only have two cookies.
- I can only have low-calorie cookies.
- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.
- I can't have cookies.
- I can't have cookies in the house.
- I'm bad when I eat cookies.
- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.
Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.
I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.
But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.
And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies
my mom’s trans allyship is on another level
she once called my friend’s deadname “that stupid thing his mom calls him”
I was once talking to my 75 year old Chinese dad in passing about a trans friend of mine not getting along with her family and he asked why and I said err, because she's trans, dad.
He asked: "Oh, was she the only son or something before *waves hand*?" and I was like, warily, no she has two brothers. And he responded with a great deal of confusion: "Then what's their problem?!?!"
Later on: "Anyway, even if she WAS the only son, that's not her problem, that's THEIR problem. They should have had more sons if they were going to be bothered about it."
Knowing what I know about chinese culture there’s something so beautifully simple about his logic of “no son to carry on family name/look after them in old age/all the other stuff? Skill issue! Should’ve had more sons! Should’ve kept the family unit strong yourself! Blaming your daughter for your own failure of family planning is W E A K!” and then he learns there are more sons and it completely breaks his train of logic because if yes to more sons then why issue?? You have two others and you’re mad you don’t have three?? Whack. Greedy.
I can already envision him as an ancient lord of a powerful house looking down his nose at the latest messenger bringing gossip from the house of his offspring’s friend and going “now they have a daughter to marry into another family for powerful alliances and two sons to take over her former duties and somehow they’re still complaining about their good fortune? They shall not survive the winter.” and then sipping his tea with all the grim satisfaction of someone about to watch an unnecessary soap opera of drama unfold from a safe distance or something
I think that the Hamilton musical is objectively the funniest thing that could happen to that man's memory. Imagine dying of a gunshot wound infection in 1804 and learning from the afterlife that tweenage girls in 2017 are drawing thousands upon thousands of images of you making out with your fellow congressmen because someone wrote a 2-hour rap opera about you. I like to imagine that Hamilton found a monkey's paw and wished to leave a legacy, and this is what it did to him.
you don't control who lives who dies who tells your story
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed
This is legit and people don’t realize it.
“hey what are you doing?” “nothing” “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.”
I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.
This is essential nothing I’m doing.
The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source
he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident
OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”
And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder
its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.
When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*
HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!
The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!
when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”
and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.
“What?” i say.
“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.
oh no is this what we’re doing now
…relic…
*crumbles and blows away on the wind*
that’s his little guy!!
I wish I had what they have...
