Another comic based on a favorite post of mine, because what can I say? I love posts
Original post by @cryptotheism
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@nonbinary-octopus
Another comic based on a favorite post of mine, because what can I say? I love posts
Original post by @cryptotheism
id wreak mayhem for a really good scifi where sight was considered as exotic and numinous as telepathy by the protag species
#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impulses#meanwhile: humans can âseeâ which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous âVULCAN STRENGTHâ sort of way as Spockâs extra attributes#for maximum effect vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way
what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now
Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.
YES, EXACTLYâvision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes itâs â"darkââ and we canât see anything. And also weâre impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ââtoo brightââ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ââline of sightââ)âand yes, of course, canât forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.
And SNIPING. And also, god, fuckâdonât forget about completely arbitrary ââââatmospheric disturbancesâââ (fog, smokeâthe new âionic interferenceâ) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.
Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that âchange the angles of refractionâ of the âlightâ so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhancedâbut they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.
Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.
Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!
IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. Godâyou get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that theyâve lost their glasses.
Oh my god and an episode where weâre up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like âyou can see them, right, you can tell when theyâre near? you can counter them?â and our hero is genuinely shaken and worriedâ theyâve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute âdarknessâ, they can operate in near-lethal âbrightnessâ, they can see through wallsâ not doors, not glass, but walls.Â
Then we have a heroic scene where the crewâs human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.Â
Person 1:  I dunno, dude.  This âlightâ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me.  I mean, how do we know itâs even real?
Person 2:  Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle?  That doesnât even make sense.
Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmthâ
Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah. Â Youâre insufferable.
Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the âlightâ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ârodsâ and âconesâ. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light weâre perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive âtexturesâ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my peopleâs communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we âreadâ the patterns of light they emit as language and âwatchâ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.
Captain: okayâŠ. sounds fake, but okayâŠ
And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like
Navigator: Warp drive engaged. Â We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.
Human: Â What now?
Navigator: Â Oh, uh, itâs really complex, but lemme try. Â So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Â Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per secondâ
Human: Ah yes. Â The speed of light.
Navigator:  âŠoh for fuckâs sake.
Captain: My god! Time! Has⊠frozen!Â
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.Â
Captain: What?
Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?
Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.Â
Human: Yeah, lightâs frozen along with everything else. I canât see shit.Â
Captain: My god! Our sonar doesnât work either! The soundwavesâ they canât propagate through this frozen air! Weâll have to use just our whiskers!
Human:Â Fuuuuuuuuck.Â
The fanfiction for this show has to be amazing.
âShh. Donât try to hide your needs, Captain,â Hue Mann soothed. Â âMy sight has told me all about your traumatic memories of the war.â
âWhat?â Captain gasped.  âButâŠhowâŠ?â
âThe light knows all,â explained Hue. Â âTime slows down at the speed of light. Â It sees all of the past..and all of the future.â
âAnd what is it telling you now?â questioned the Captain.
Hue leaned in close. âIt tells me, âMate with them now, you lovestruck fool!â
âDamn you, Hue Mann. Â Damn you and your penetrating âeyes.ââ
âOh,â breathed Hue, voice husky and sexual.  âThatâs not all my eyes canâŠpenetrate.âÂ
goddamn, you people amaze me.
I love the idea that the protag species has telepathy as âboring normal standardâ senses and they canât understand why human thoughts seems so strange, fragmented, occasionally blank⊠until they realise that a great of human thought is âvisualâ and so canât be heardâŠÂ
âLori, what do your Human eyes see?â
âCoupla billboards, and it looks like it might rain.â
This keeps getting better
This is so cute. Your human crewmember is getting a crush on another human. Time to observe the humansâ weird yet endearing courtship rituals.
âTell me all about them! What do you like about them?â
âWell, they have these amazing eyesâŠâ
âYeah? Better at the the wavemapping thing than yours?â
ââŠI donât know how good their eyes are at seeing. Theyâre just this beautiful shade of brown.â
âWait. You wavemap each otherâs wavemapping organs? And have opinions about what nice frequencies they refract the waves at?â
âYes? Whatâs so strange about this?â
âI thought your âvisionâ was passive. Do you listen to each otherâs ears too? And like the smell of each otherâs noses?â
âLike youâve never touched someoneâs whiskers with your whiskers.â
ââŠThatâs different.â
I just really like the idea of sighted humans telling their friends-who-donât-see about how interesting-looking they are. Like, âYouâre awfully pretty, you know that? Youâre such a lovely shade of blue.â
And the friendâs like, âYEAH sure buddyâ but they are secretly charmed, like someone discovering a new form of astrology that suits them really well - quietly thinking it over later when theyâre alone, like Iâm blue!! Yeah!! Whatâs blue?
@unmarkedcards isnt this the plot of a short story you read?
Imagine trying to explain colors when they do ask though âWhatâs blue?â âIt comes in many forms? Light blue is like how rain feels when water is neededâ âWhat the HELL thatâs beautiful! So what other forms does it come in?â âThereâs dark blue, that feels like sadness and remorseâ âShit⊠How are they so different?â âLight comes in many forms and colors and each human sees them a little differentlyâ âYou sound insane⊠you know that right?â âYou look insane rubbing your whiskers on everythingâ âTouchĂ© â
Can you imagine the reports, though?
The aliens get all their intel via audio and the humanâs like âWhat do you mean I have to LISTEN to this? Itâs so monotone! Whoâs the narrator? I want to blast him into the next system! Geez, my grandmother tells stories better than this guy can!â
âTheyâre not stories, Human Crew Member. Itâs very valuable intelligence.â
âBut itâs SOUND! You guys do realise that if the enemy is listening to the right frequency, they can just listen in on the valuable information we just stole from them?â
ââŠ. *alien expletive*â
But then, the aliens make a ship out of a special alloy thatâs more durable and better for space travel. And theyâre all excited because itâs a new flagship with all these upgrades. But the humans, the mysterious, seemingly all-knowing humans, spend less than a day on it before going nope. They canât handle it. They just keep getting lost and walking into walls and wait there was another corridor there? How the- nope. Screw it, just lead the way out of this funhouse. The aliens ask why and all the humans go the new alloy is a two way mirror! Half the walls are mirrors, and the other half are glass! And which ones are which changes at different angles! Eventually a bunch of humans with maps paint lines and arrows and directions on all the walls.
you know that guy who goes around purposely getting stung by horribly venomous insects so he can scientifically rate and describe the painfulness of the sting? ok so that but with vampires.
a scientist who purposely gets bitten by a vampire, then experiments on themself in order to document once and for all which vampire myths actually apply
the first thing the scientist does after being bitten is eat an entire bulb of raw garlic. they record all their experiments and start putting clips on youtube. eventually it gets so popular they get a network tv show. itâs called Vampire MythBusters
alternate title:
Myth Stakinâ
@jackrabbitlovesong said: Myth Stakinâ is even funnier because it sounds like the dude has a lisp from the teeth
LOVE THIS
I haven't seen this circulating here on Tumblr, so I decided to make my own post.
last saturday, in Porto, there was a pride parade going down the street and this old man was standing there, by his front door, waving the portuguese flag. most people on the parade probably thought the same: old person waving the national flag? he's probably protesting against the parade, he's a nationalist of some sort.
then the old man called for that person to come near him. the whole parade stopped. everyone just.. stopped moving. they didn't know what to expect, and most expected the worst. and that person decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and approached the old man. and then... they traded flags, he hugged the person and then he waved the pride flag happily. everyone cheered him.
such a wholesome moment. đ„čâ€ïžđ
(edited to add the link to the video, in case the twitter post gets deleted or smth)
i just saw this on twitter.. such a lovely drawing, I just had to add it to this post đ„°
I think our biggest gripes with the origin label discourse and the general community bend towards "you must categorize yourself under one of two boxes, and the other box is evil" are:
The assumption that experiences have an objective, fundamental truth that allows perfect sorting
The assumption that experiences and understandings of those experiences also never change- that if you can sort yourself into a box, then you should live there forever.
The general "us versus them" of the whole thing.
Point one: experiences of self, identity, consciousness, etc. are all very fuzzy, subjective concepts at the moment. We've yet to pin down what even makes a person conscious, let alone what a person's "I" is. I'm not confident that an objective truth of the self exists.
Maybe some meatspace things do have a usefully objective truth, though more often than not it's filtered through human definitions like anything else- if this desk is a meter long, then how big is a meter, and is a meter truly an objective measurement? Who made it?
What's a person? What's a self? Are those things the same, or different? Where do I end, and where do you begin? Ask ten people and you'll get ten different answers. That's the beauty of it. We don't fully know.
Point two: People change all the time. We are always having new and different experiences in life, and those can shape how you see yourself over time. We used to exclusively see ourselves as a medicalized, psychology-based system. We see ourselves a lot more holistically now, but our life experiences are still just as much a factor as any woo-woo spirituality we experience. That's a change that breaks boxes.
We are not the only system who's changed how they understand themselves over time. Spirituality, medical psychology, and other frameworks are neither mutually exclusive nor fixed in place. Like the framework of plurality, they're a way to understand the world and your experiences in it. They're an attempt to make sense of it all. If it's not working, put it down and try something else.
Point three: it's slowly improving, but the average Joe still has no idea plural people exist outside of horror movie serial killers and shock stories. They don't think they'll ever meet a multiple, and if they do, they're still using Multiple Personality Disorder as a label for it regardless of the system's actual experiences.
We have bigger problems than each other. Biting each other's throats won't help us any more than infighting and scapegoating has helped in any other community. The fact that we're still fighting over this in one form or another 20 years later is depressing.
Malapropism and Malaphor
Blue scrambles words from time to time, and the results are usually entertaining to the rest of us.
Malapropism (noun): the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase, especially: the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
(Fittingly enough, the actual word for mixed idioms like this is "malaphor". A malapropism caused by looking for "malaphor" is gloriously ironic here.)
Memo to everybody :
Never be afraid to recycle an idea you had for a WIP you abandoned. Sometimes the idea needs a different set of characters or a different setting.
An addition:
Never be afraid to recycle an idea you had for a project you already completed. Sometimes ideas really are just that good and deserve to be used more than once.
Don't be afraid to use the same recipe to make a new cake
I love the headcanons of everybody on earth reaction to the beetles. but please imagine like 100 years down the line some random school kid being forced to do history (because that teacher managed to get to the topic first) homework on the whole thing.
like the regular kid enthusiasm of yeah that Grace guy met an alien, cleaned the sun blah blah blah. Eridians are regular visitors on Earth and it's boooooooooring.
and then the kid opens Wikipedia and that asshole is all over the thing. no easy essay of important person invented important thing that is so important that I have to write some bullshit on it. nope.
guy pops up all over the history section. yeah sure. diplomacy? wait wasn't he an astronaut. biology? what? oh he had PhD in something biology. oh he named astophage "astophage"! is that the end of an essay? oh no it continues. xenobiology, xenolinguistics, all the space exploration and, oh, a first contact! are we done yet? no. fuck. wait, metallurgy???? wtf is this dude doing in the metallurgy section. wasn't he a biologist?
and then some kids would get a little bit into it and read through early life section to find oh he got kicked out of his field for being a weirdo alien guy. oh that's a great story! with the hard work and the incredible strength of the will he proved everybody wrong!
no wait
he was just some scrungly guy that got dragged kicking and screaming into this whole bs just to pull the most lock tf in in the history of locking tf in
wtf?!
and then they dig deep enough to find the video logs
so every year. without missing the beat, few kids get totally obsessed.
blip A and mary but-but-but....they're in a 1920s style dresses, bc i think it would be cute, and it randomly popped into my head, so there.
:33
i love space yaoi
and i love space yuri
space gays!!!
They probably found the dress on the ship somewhere and Rocky wanted to match
Also I like to think that whatever shenanigans Grace and Rocky get upto is reflected on the ships the same
Space gays!!!
love how Rocky is always serving main character energy. dude steps up and leaves their smoking hot mate to go on a noble quest. Then everyone dies mysteriously and a fucking alien shows up who is somehow smart but also dumb as hell. So now bro has a lovable sidekick and you two save each other through the power of friendship multiple times. Then you figure out a way to save the fucking world and you get to go back home a hero. And your funny bestie alien sidekick comes with you because he thinks you're so cool. Rockys life is a movie. He's a legend.
Really really tiny PHM headcanon:
At some point, Grace and Rocky learn together that Rocky can do a perfect imitation of the human ârecord-scratchâ sound effect.
Grace finds this delightful, while Rocky is a little bemused at why Grace considers this to be a notable talent, but heâs happy that Grace is happy.
Ryland Grace the Space AroAce?
Heâs actually just me
I like the idea of Grace and Rocky trading pronouns after meeting each other.
Grace using He/Him for Rocky, and Rocky being like, âHow quaint, the weird flesh bag alien is referring to me with social concepts unique to its species. I will wear it like a badge of honor.â
Meanwhile, when Grace gets to Erid and everyone refers to it with It/Its pronouns, Grace is thinking, âFinally. I was so tired of gender conformity. Now Iâm just me.â
Unconditionally accept nonbinary identities. I am no longer asking
you will not call others theyfabs or theymabs unless they label themselves that. You will not screencap people using bun/bunself and slap them in cringe comps. Do you understand?
if your response to this is "Yeah! Let kids have fun!" You have lost the plot
people identify with xenogenders seriously.
that awkward moment when it takes leaving humanity forever to realize your sexuality (insp by this)
Ryland Grace hits a really excellent aro/ace headcanon sweet spot for me where like. He's a middle school teacher in San Francisco, he almost knows asexuality and aromanticism exist as labels. But he also strikes me as the kind of guy who never quite got to the point of introspection to go "And that's what's going on with me, specifically," at least not when he was still on Earth.
Anyway I think about two years into the journey to Erid he realizes this about himself while talking to an alien rock.
itâs not weird to find fanfiction from 2021, or 2017, or 2014 that youâve never read and actually taking your time to read it.
itâs not weird to love it and comment and leave kudos because the author will probably still see it someday and it will make them happy.
itâs not weird to like said authorâs work so much that you want to go look for other fics from them.
itâs not weird to go through the authors profile and look for other fics from the ships you like (or maybe some that youâll give a chance because you liked the author) and maybe bookmark them for later.
itâs not weird to read these other fics and like them too and comment on them because you actually like them and you want to let the author know.
itâs not weird to read fanfiction from 5, or 8, or 10 years ago and actually enjoy and engage with it because itâs perfectly normal to relate to something thatâs less than a decade old!
letâs stop treating fanfiction like theyâre instagram posts that stop being interesting in 24 hours! fanfiction is NOT social media, fanfiction is art!!! and art doesnât get old in one day, one year, or even a decade!
read fanfiction! write fanfiction! comment on fanfiction! letâs not let fanculture die people!!!!!
I've sent emails to ppl from x-files fansites that stopped being updated in like 2005 because I liked their fics and let me tell you the one person who did reply was ECSTATIC their fic was still being read in 2026 and sent me a bunch of pics of cool memorabilia they'd collected over the years