I am my own Iscariot

[spencerthespacer-deactivated202]

[anxietyproblem]

[mancydrew]

:/ i wish “bad guy” by billie eilish came out 7 years ago :(

[puncromancer]

explain

[mancydrew]

:)

[puncromancer]

[frawgs]

fuhgedda bottit. light em up vinny he’s gonna be sleepin with da fishes

[pwesident]

[rcktpwr]

[stellarblade]

[defeated-sanity-deactivated2017]

Put it in a box….

[google-searchhistory-official]

Deliver it

to my house and put it on

[lunatic-harness]

my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock my cock

[google-searchhistory-official]

Cheesy on my peeny and sauce on my balls

[tinypuppies]

[queenwhiskey]

[the-memedaddy]

meirl

[catherine-siena-dr-of-the-church]

She sounds like a delight

[thatgirlwiththememes]

[sisyphusshrugged]

[poondragoon]

Bad news: your kid is the neighborhood cryptid.

Good news: you can get that on a bumper sticker

[notvoid]

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[slangwang]

this post is transcendent

[aurora-gleam]

You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.

Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST

[bransonreese]

No, I’m thinking of sharks.

Source: I’m a superior marine biologist

[kakyoiniisms]

[thyrell]

vibe test came back negative :(

[cowgirlmilkers]

6/10 post. The joke hits but it’s not that funny.

[thyrell]

what the fuck

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

[tiktokarchive]

trying kombucha for the first time

“It really smells like a public restroo- [laughs] it smells like a public RESTROOM! You know what? [takes a sip] [clicks tongue] No. Well? [giggles]”

[fudge-the-horse]

some fucker: “If you arent paying for a product, you are the product!” 

me using tumblr costing yahoo a billion dollars: