I'm Just Here. @not-very-normal - Tumblr Blog

i highly recommend reading the phm book if you haven’t because there are gems like this (roughly paraphrased) right in the middle of important events

grace: hi

dubois: me and dr. shapiro have lots of sex

grace: what. excuse me

dr. shapiro: we’re actually gonna go into the hallway and have sex in like fifteen minutes

grace: sweating why are you telling me this

queenbruv

crazy that dubois is the person to tell grace he has the coma gene. because man. the signs were all there, really. this is the FIRST time grace and stratt are meeting any of the crew in person. and this is how it comes up:

dubois has never met grace and has seemingly never met stratt either. this is his first time on the Vat. and yet he's already heard of ryland grace, and he knows grace has the coma gene. how? how, when not even grace himself knew?

dubois guesses that stratt only told people who "needed to know." it makes you wonder why dubois considers himself one of the people who needed to know that, when even grace apparently wasn't. but dubois is the prime crew scientist. and ryland grace is a scientist, too. so why would stratt tell dubois but not grace? except we know why. NOW we know why.

stratt vetted every candidate. she hand-picked every member of both crews. and when it came time to select the scientists, stratt knew all along that if it were up to her she wouldn't even be choosing a backup scientist because she had one right here in her back pocket. but she understood that grace would never agree to go on the mission, and if he knew he had the coma gene he may begin to suspect her ulterior motives. she couldn't tell him he had the coma gene, but she could make sure the scientists selected for the mission knew that there was always a backup-backup scientist. a final failsafe.

there would have been no reason for dubois to think grace was in the dark about his coma resistance gene, so he does find it odd that grace doesn't know. but he justifies it all the same: stratt only told people who needed to know. meaning: she told the scientists that they had a third option. that the man teaching them was in fact just as qualified for this suicide mission as they were. and it wasn't going to come up, right? no, almost certainly not, because after all, they had a primary scientist and a backup scientist, and a THIRD redundancy was, well, redundant. stratt didn't say "dr. grace has coma resistance and will therefore replace you as scientist on the mission if you're both unable to go." she didn't have to. just saying that their astrophage instructor had the coma gene too was sufficient. she told the people who needed to know that they had a last resort. and she didn't tell the person who would become a flight risk. and in true stratt fashion she was right on all counts.

starvariety

dubois and shapiro, you never even got to try

pancakenight

I get sad over the fact that as soon as we meet Dubois we know immediately that he's either going to die or change his mind, most likely die. We've already seen the names of the two other astronauts and we also know Grace will be on the ship, and that there will be three of them. And the camera lingers on him but never gets close, never gives us a chance to even hear his voice, because he's doomed from the start. Like the narrative is saying "see him? You know something will happen. Don't get too close, don't get attached." And we can do nothing but watch.

vals-stuff-and-things

Something I adore about Project Hail Mary is how much it makes you care about all the characters regardless of you knowing they're dead from the start or couldn't have made it anyway even if they lived, and how badly you wish things could have been different while understanding they also can't be.

You wish so so badly that Yao and Ilyukhina survived the trip to Tau Ceti. So they could fulfill their purpose, so they could meet Rocky, so Grace wasn't so painfully alone. You wish so badly that Dubois and Shapiro didn't die either, that they also got the chance to embark on a mission they spent years training for and sacrificed so much for.

You think about how they'd meet Rocky, how they'd be friends. How Ilyukhina an Shapiro would be so excited about him, how Dubois would not sleep for days as he documents everything this alien tells him in ridiculous details. How they'd work on all the science together, figure out how to kill the astrophage, collect and breed taumeba together, then go home after Rocky refuels the Hail Mary, safe and sound.

You wish for all of this while you know none of that could have ever happened. Even if all of them got the chance to mebark on the mission and got to Tau Ceti safely, even if they met Rocky, bred the taumeba and had him refuel the ship, none of the could have gone back to Earth. Or Erid, for that matter, because that's the mission wasn't supposed to be a two way trip and there's not enough food for all of them to live.

And that is what's so painful about this. Grace's survival is hinged on his two other friends dying. Erid's survival is hinged on Grace's survival as well, which is ensured by the death of his two friends, thanks to which he has enough food to make the trip. Grace's very presence on the Hail Mary hinges on more of his friends dying, because he's the spare, disposable, bottom-of-the-barrel choice and wouldn't be there if there was no other choice.

You wish so so badly that everyone would live and that everyone that was involved in this got to fulfill their purpose because of all the sacrifices they had to make, their determination, their desire to save humanity, their home, so that it meant something, so that their sacrifice was not in vain, so that it all has meaning.

But you also know that's not possible, because if all of them made it, then none would survive. And it hurts. It hurts so much to know you can have one or the other, but not both.

I love that about this book so much. How it makes you care so much about these characters, even when you know from the start that they're gone and that they couldn't make it out anyway. It was there from the start, you knew from the start, but that won't make you stop carrying and wishing it could be different.

incorrect-favourites

shapiro: Oh god, she texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Martin. She’s mad at you.

dubois: No, it's Stratt. She’s just being grammatically correct!

*meanwhile*

stratt: And then I used a period so he’d know that I'm mad at him.

grace: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

stratt: I stand by my choice.

starcrossedconverse

jskshsbsnjsk okay. i watched the project hail mary movie, and. guys. why would you cut the best scene from the book??

project hail mary chapter 17

vals-stuff-and-things

Part of the Secret Santa exchange for the PHM server.

Dubois and Shapiro live rent free in my head, so it was nice my person requested them together. Here's the infamous Classroom SceneTM. Or however many similar ones followed because I doubt these two would give it a rest after the first one occured.

Me too, Grace. Me too

cedar-is-a-nerd

I'm bored so I'm listing down all the relationships Ryland Grace has and my interpretation of the canon

Rocky: Symbiotic relationship, do not separate, if you do one starts crying and the others starts fighting. Probably "kissed" once just to see. Rocky thought it was disgusting and Grace cackled.

Adrian: Friends through Rocky, sometimes they'll hang out and talk about science or sci fi Earth media, but other than they're probably pretty neutral on a day to day basis. See's Ryland more like a weird fucking horse they accidentally adopted that can also speak and have philosophical opinions.

Eva Stratt: Pre operation "get rid of that guy," autism 4 autism friendship. They've definitely stared deeply into each other's eyes just to go "We should play Mario Kart" and then fall into the most insane infodump ever. Post operation "get rid of that guy," Eva stared at the spot in the sky where the Hail Mary was launched for hours, probably days after, every chance between saving the world. She forgets to eat because of it before she simply tears out and forces herself back into work because people are dying and she doesn't have time to mourn. She lets herself cry over three decades later when the astrophage crisis is over. She's an old woman, she just escaped jail, and she's on her knees infront of Shapiro and Dubois' graves because they're the only ones with graves, sobbing that they did it. They won.

Carl: They kissed at least once. This is canon to me. Did it lead anywhere? Probably not, Grace is still aroace canon to me. Like "What was that for?" "I don't know, we made astrobaby, saw it in a movie." "Okay." "Let's not do that again." "Agreed." And then they name the astrobaby together and Grace credits Carl with the hypothesis in the paper he writes on it. Post launch, it's been a week since he saw Grace pinned and sedated, he barely talks, he hasn't smiled at all. He goes to his room at the end of the day, right after seeing Hail Mary take off. He knows Grace was on there and he knows what got him there. Carl breaks down, and cries himself to sleep. That was his friend, and the last thing he saw was him standing over him.

Yao: The man seems like the type to pat people on the head. Everyone. You've done a good job? You get a pat. Grace is forever confused but also feels strangely cared for

Ilyukhina: She's definitely sent Grace fanfiction. Of what? I don't know. But she has, trust. Probably tried to offer Grace her own ADHD meds.

Dubois: They've probably had some sort of informal battle for who knows the most science stuff. They've definitely infodumped to eachother, thought Dubois is more of the "pulls out a slideshow for every topic" he likes and Grace is more "Okay I'm going to tell you but it will have 17bajillion tangents, let's get started." Autism v autism. Maybe he has like one really niche interest he goes feral over and infodumps more insanely, but he DEFINITELY also has a slideshow for that. Has probably willingly read Ilyukhina's fanfiction recommendations.

Shapiro: Yet another yapper. Shapiro, Grace, Dubois yapping circle, science geeks 🔛🔝. She yaps the same as Grace, 17bajillion tangents and 0 breaks. They bond over this.

I probably missed someone but I don't rembemebr...

projectquotemary

Grace: Isn’t it weird we pay money to see other people?

Yao: Oh, you mean like plane tickets?

Dubois: Or concert tickets?

Ilyukhina: Or prostitution.

Grace: I was talking about glasses.

anticcque

"I'm not an astronaut." Grace existing separately from Stratt's Vat, gifset request by: @shih-shoulda-had-it

viperofvirgo

I wish we got more of the crew in the movie. like I understand why we couldn't because of time but like, I couldn't get enough of Ilyukhina in the bookk. I want to see the crews shenanigans, theres no way everyone on that boat was serious all the time. Not with Dmitri and Hatch and Ilyukhina there. No, no way. There was probably a prank war and bets on astronaut training. Or when Grace would figure out he's aroace (cause you can pry that headczanon from my cold dead hands) The potential of Stratts Vat.

girlrandomstuff

"they softened stratt too much in the movie"

Oh my, I need to talk about this thing that is bothering me alot that is going around about Stratt's character. It has been said that they softened the character and took away a lot of her ruthless persona to make her more likeable in the movie. And my goodness, there is so many ramifications so I'll try to put it in order.

I totally disagree Stratt is too unserious in comparition to the book. Because she was way too less unserious in the book already, not saying she was anything close to Grace, but I think many people didnt understood a lot of things going around her. I dont have an english copy of the book so I'll try find the right quotes and translate.

"Congrats" said Stratt "first human to kill an alien. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Prey"

"Because I dont have time for this bullshit."

"They probably won't use Minesweeper for Windows 3.1, but they will have it"

"Wait a minute, Am I a Guinea Pig? I'm a Guinea Pig" "No, it's not like that" I stare at her. She stared at me. At stared at her. "Okay, it's exactly like that"

The freaking postit in Grace face when he was sleeping.

"You and which army?" "Because I have the USA Army, and it's an impressive military"

And I know I am leaving a few other things out. The actual reason we get the idea of Stratt being more ruthless on the book is because a lot of scenes where both more extended or had to be left out due to the time, the book have this explicit scenes like when they recruit Lokken, she is ruthless just like she was with Ryland, "you come on your terms or I'll get you dragged to". We have this scene where she doesnt seem to care about Dubois and Shapiro's death in Grace's eyes. And even so, that is in the movie too, it is not the same but Stratt not seeming to care about their college is in the escene where they ask Grace to go, she says "doesnt matter, we have to launch".

People says that the karaoke scene was not necesary, but I totally disagree. Yeah, maybe this scene was actually made to soften her a bit, but it was perfectly done, that scene wasnt Stratt singing her farwell to a man she had to condem, bc at that point the only one doomed was her, Yao and Ilyukhina had still probablilities to survive, Dubois and Shapiro were alive and Grace was going back to his normal life once the Hail Mary launch. That scene showed her as the leader she is, giving her people the courage they need to keep going on, (yes, there is romantic subtext to it, yes, it can also be platonic, yes, I ADORE the first, and enjoy a lot the second) but that scene wasnt just for the male protagonist to have a romantic interest or past, it was more about her character than it was about him. During the trial scene in the book, she is the only person giving the face and accepting the blame, she could have any other scientist, even Grace to show up with a lawyer, but she protected her team, and never allowed any blame to fall on any one but herself.

She tell jokes, she deals with childish moods of her team, she streaches her neck closer to Grace to ask basic questions, she is sassy.

Which leads me to the betrayal scene. And I totally disagree that "Stratt was just cold in the book", because Ryland himself literally told us she looked affected. She cared, she never wanted to do that to him, but she HAD to do it.

This is literally her in both book and movie. Nothing changed.

Yes, she is ruthless, but she is also pretty unserious in a lot of ways. She is also not inhuman, she is probably the person with the highest sense of humanity in the book and movie. And Sandra Huller understood that, and that's why we see this character so well portrayed by her.

I'll defend this character and her portrayal for the eternity

thainperegrinn

haunting the narrative final boss

solsticat

Okay the phm fandom on here is exploding with movie watchers which means y'all are unaware of just how out of pocket the book is. I've seen people do this for other fandoms so here goes. All of the poll options are things that really happened in the book except for one.

Project Hail Mary spoilers below the cut

moss-indie

Headcanoning Ryland Grace as aroace is so much funnier if you also simultaneously decide that Shapiro and DuBois were trying really hard to hit on him.

This applies to both versions of canon btw. Their unnecessary, almost uncomfortable openness with him about their sex life, and how comfortable they are to talking to him about it in the scenes in the book vs. in the movie, where they fully just look at him in the karaoke scene with pure "we saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe" couple energy.

Like they were so prepared to ask Grace to be their third, but he, being oblivious, just took it as them being oddly blazen and liberated.

raviolireptile

Project Hail Mary side characters

A lot of the side characters in PHM were changed/merged/removed for the movie so I thought I would draw how I imagined them while reading the book. Closeups below the cut!

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