I Put The “Not” In Astronaut

Incorrect Project Hail Mary Quotes

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Grace: Hey Mary, call us ‘daddy’.

Hail Mary: I don’t see a father in your contacts.

Rocky: *bursts into laughter*

Ryland ‘has-no-immediate-family’ Grace: *laughing uncomfortably* Well, about that.

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Ilyukhina: Motherf-

Grace: Father. I love word association games.

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*Rocky and Grace playing hide and seek in the dark (Rocky is always hiding because, you know, echolocation)*

Grace: *on his hands and knees* I feel the vibrations in the floor. *taps the floor repeatedly*

Rocky: *unafraid because he knows humans need their eyesight and have not evolved to echolocate*

Grace: *clicks his fingers in one direction, then clicks them in Rocky’s direction*

Grace: *gasp*

Grace: *pokes Rocky’s sphere*

Rocky:

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Rocky: *says something smart*

Grace: *points at him* Good point. *motions to his own pointed finger* See that, that was a really good point to you. Also valid argument.

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Rocky: Thinking machine says Grace blew up Antarctica.

Grace: I’ve never blown up Antarctica.

Rocky: It says Grace helped the taskforce to-

Grace, appalled: UM, HELLO?

*an hour later*

Grace, after a memory returns: *dramatic gasp* I did blow up Antarctica!

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*about Stratt*

Rocky: Grace, aren’t you furious?

Grace: I mean always, but collectively, we’ve moved on.

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Grace: Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Jody.

Colt, looking across the room at Jody: I do not have feelings for Jody.

Grace: Colt, you are nowhere near my eyes.

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Grace: Last night I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup and you're mustard, which is weird cause usually you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?

Rocky: Please shut up.

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Grace: Hey, quick question, how petty am I allowed to be?

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Grace, to his students: 4/20? I think you mean 1/5. Reduce your fractions, did you even learn math?

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Stratt: The world’s governments always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

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Grace: You don’t know me.

Stratt: I know everything about you. You are an open book written for very dumb children.

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Grace, turning a light on and off really fast: This is Morse code for ‘AHHHH!’

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Grace: This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

Rocky: Even worse than-

Grace: Let’s not do this.

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Rocky: Grace told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘Go get it, girl’.

Rocky: So I’m going to go get it, girl.

Adrian: Get what, exactly?

Rocky: Unclear, so I’ll get everything just to be safe.

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*On Erid, getting treatment for his long list of medical issues*

Grace: Hey Rocky, did I ever tell you my blood type?

Rocky: Yes, you’re A Positive, why?

Grace, forgetful due to malnourishment: Well, guessed wrong. *frantically pulls out IV* Hey paramedic?!

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Grace: There's been a lot of cursed energy in my life recently. it's time to cleanse with friendly compliments. Just respond to me saying something and I'll give you a compliment.

Colt: Something.

Grace: I cannot wait until the day the reverend finds you and drags you into hell with his holy words of condemnation.