National Hotline for Victims of Crimes: 1-855-484-2846
National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Polaris Human Trafficking Text Line: Text “BEFREE” to 233733
**1in6/RAINN Chat for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Support Groups
**1in6 Support Groups
Male Survivor Support Groups
Pandora’s Aquarium - Chat (includes chats specifically for men)
Pandora’s Aquarium - Forums (includes forums specifically for men)
How to Find a Shelter
Domestic Shelters Search (shelter locator with filters to find shelters specifically for male survivors)
SAFE (located in Austin, TX, but states they can help people find resources/shelters in their area)
How to Find a Therapist
**Male Survivor Therapist Directory
Mental Health Services Locator
Resources for and About the Abuse of Kids/Teens
Love is Respect Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (Hotline for teens)
Darkness to Light Helpline (Sexual Abuse): 1-866-367-5444
Darkness to Light Text Line: Text “LIGHT” to 741741
ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Children of the Night Hotline (Children in Prostitution): 1-800-551-1300
National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929
Covenant House Nineline (Homeless Youth): 1-800-999-9999
Stop it Now Hotline: 1-888-773-2362 (for adults concerned about the welfare of a child)
Jennifer Ann’s Group (for teens experiencing dating violence)
Other Resource Lists
(While I tried to include the most helpful resources I could here (i.e., resources that lend themselves to one-on-one communication, individual reading, etc.), there are plenty of other great resources, including regional resources, listed in these links. Some of the resources are specific to men and others aren’t, but they are all helpful for male survivors.)
**Male Survivor (regional, international, and online resources)
**Husband Battering: Men and Domestic Violence
**Help for Battered Men: Online Resources
**Help for Battered Men: National and International Resources
**Help for Guys: Help for Victims (some resources for men, many general resources)
Not only is it true, it gets worse. The Susan G Komen For The Cure Foundation has actually successfully sued “competing” charities, because (paraphrasing) their “message or branding was infringing.”
You read that correctly: they took money that people had donated to cure cancer, and hired attorneys with it, to sue ANOTHER group of people trying to find a cure for cancer, who, in turn, had to us their donated money to hire their own legal counsel to defend themselves.
My mother died in 1996 from breast cancer. Most cancer charities are scams, in that people throw fancy parties and get rich off them and very little money goes into research or support for patients. Here are some vetted cancer charities that get good scores on Charity Navigator and pay medical expenses or fund research:
Breast Cancer Research Foundation
Cancer Research Institute
Dana-Farber Cancer Institute
63 four star rated cancer charities on charity navigator
National Hotline for Victims of Crimes: 1-855-484-2846
National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Polaris Human Trafficking Text Line: Text “BEFREE” to 233733
**1in6/RAINN Chat for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Support Groups
**1in6 Support Groups
Male Survivor Support Groups
Pandora’s Aquarium - Chat (includes chats specifically for men)
Pandora’s Aquarium - Forums (includes forums specifically for men)
How to Find a Shelter
Domestic Shelters Search (shelter locator with filters to find shelters specifically for male survivors)
SAFE (located in Austin, TX, but states they can help people find resources/shelters in their area)
How to Find a Therapist
**Male Survivor Therapist Directory
Mental Health Services Locator
Resources for and About the Abuse of Kids/Teens
Love is Respect Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (Hotline for teens)
Darkness to Light Helpline (Sexual Abuse): 1-866-367-5444
Darkness to Light Text Line: Text “LIGHT” to 741741
ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Children of the Night Hotline (Children in Prostitution): 1-800-551-1300
National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929
Covenant House Nineline (Homeless Youth): 1-800-999-9999
Stop it Now Hotline: 1-888-773-2362 (for adults concerned about the welfare of a child)
Jennifer Ann’s Group (for teens experiencing dating violence)
Other Resource Lists
(While I tried to include the most helpful resources I could here (i.e., resources that lend themselves to one-on-one communication, individual reading, etc.), there are plenty of other great resources, including regional resources, listed in these links. Some of the resources are specific to men and others aren’t, but they are all helpful for male survivors.)
**Male Survivor (regional, international, and online resources)
**Husband Battering: Men and Domestic Violence
**Help for Battered Men: Online Resources
**Help for Battered Men: National and International Resources
**Help for Guys: Help for Victims (some resources for men, many general resources)
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
Teach
your kids
tips that
can save
their
lives.
AmdousToddlers.com/stranger-danger
Tell your children
that if a stranger
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around.
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child’s name ~ your child
is much more likely to
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children’s names all over
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with your
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code word,
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get them.
I am an image transcribing bot which uses Tesseract OCR to translate images to text. I’m far from perfect but I try my best!
If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon
“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.
Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.
Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.
I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.
It’s good to remember the very big, very frightening picture before us, how far we’ve already come, and to consider what recourse we have with complicit and corrupt forces standing in the way. Continue reading
Rule #1: Always think critically and fight ignorance with facts.
BY KALI HOLLOWAY AND MARTIN MYCIELSKI | DECEMBER 15, 2017
A 15-Point Guide to Surviving Authoritarianism
President Donald Trump speaks about tax reform legislation during a lunch with lawmakers working on the tax reform conference committee in the Cabinet Room at the White House in Washington, DC, on Dec. 13, 2017. (Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images)
This post originally appeared at AlterNet.
Nearly a year ago, intuitively recognizing the Trump administration’s authoritarian aspirations, Polish journalist and activist Martin Mycielski wrote “Year 1 Under Authoritarianism.” In those early, nerve-racking days following Trump’s inauguration, the piece was shared across social media, an ominous portent of what was to come. The document — helpfully subtitled, “What To Expect?” — offered a list of predictions and warnings about Trump’s first year in office, and exhortations to fight back at every turn. In his introduction, published just days after Trump’s inauguration, Mycielski noted the article was based on his own experience in Poland, where extreme-right nationalists have taken over the government, and in a recent ugly demonstration, the streets. The piece should be read as an instructive manual of sorts, culled from firsthand observation of the “populists, authoritarians and tinpot dictators” leading right-wing movements across Europe.
“With each passing day, the [Polish] government is moving the country further away from the liberal West and toward the authoritarian models of the East,” Mycielski wrote. “Hundreds of thousands have protested against every illiberal, unlawful step. Every time we believed it couldn’t get any worse. We were wrong. This is why we want you, our American friends, to be spared the shock, the awe, the disbelief of this happening to you. Let’s hope history proves us wrong and the US wakes up in time…[H]ope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”
Mycielski’s “survival guide” has only become more disturbingly relevant with time, its predictions proved frighteningly accurate. Like Umberto Eco’s guide to fascism, it presciently notes the actions and attitudes that now unquestionably define this presidency; the lies and obfuscation of truth, racist fear-mongering, historical revisionism, purposeful chaos and anti-First Amendment agenda. Manipulation and malice are the Trump regime’s forte. (To see how quickly a country can be remade by a charlatan and his abettors, go back and review some of the earliest entries from Amy Siskind’s weekly list tracking changes under Trump. It’s all pretty scary, especially seeing it unfold in real time.)
But if there’s any hope, it will only come from recognizing the reality of what’s happening here, how much damage is being done, how much earth already scorched. The year has somehow flown by, yet seemed interminable. It’s good to remember the very big, very frightening picture before us, how far we’ve already come, and to consider what recourse we have with complicit and corrupt forces standing in the way. — Kali Holloway
Here is Mycielski’s 15-point guide to surviving authoritarianism.
1. They will come to power with a campaign based on fear, scaremongering and distorting the truth.Nevertheless, their victory will be achieved through a democratic electoral process. But beware, as this will be their argument every time you question the legitimacy of their actions. They will claim a mandate from the People to change the system.
Remember — gaining power through a democratic system does not give them permission to cross legal boundaries and undermine said democracy.
2. They will divide and rule. Their strength lies in unity, in one voice and one ideology, and so should yours. They will call their supporters patriots, the only “true Americans.” You will be labelled as traitors, enemies of the state, unpatriotic, the corrupt elite, the old regime trying to regain power. Their supporters will be the “people,” the “sovereign” who chose their leaders.
Don’t let them divide you — remember you’re one people, one nation, with one common good.
Fight for every media outlet, every journalist that is being banned, censored, sacked or labelled an “enemy of the state” — there’s no hope for freedom where there is no free press.
3. Through convoluted laws and threats they will try to control mainstream media and limit press freedom. They will ban critical press from their briefings, calling them “liars,” “fake news.” They will brand those media as “unpatriotic,” acting against the People (see point 2).
Fight for every media outlet, every journalist that is being banned, censored, sacked or labelled an “enemy of the state” — there’s no hope for freedom where there is no free press.
4. They will create chaos, maintain a constant sense of conflict and danger. It will be their argument to enact new authoritarian laws, each one further limiting your freedoms and civil liberties. They will disguise them as being for your protection, for the good of the people.
See through the chaos, the fake danger; expose it before you wake up in a totalitarian, fascist state.
5. They will distort the truth, deny facts and blatantly lie. They will try to make you forget what facts are, sedate your need to find the truth. They will feed “post-truths” and “alternative facts,” replace knowledge and logic with emotions and fiction.
Always think critically, fact-check and point out the truth, fight ignorance with facts.
6. They will incite and then leak fake, superficial “scandals.” They will smear opposition with trivial accusations, blowing them out of proportion and then feeding the flame. This is just smokescreen for the legal steps they will be taking toward totalitarianism.
See through superficial topics in mainstream media (see point 3) and focus on what they are actually doing.
7. They will propose shocking laws to provoke your outrage. You will focus your efforts on fighting them, so they will seemingly back off, giving you a false sense of victory. In the meantime they will push through less “flashy” legislation, slowly dismantling democracy (see points 4 and 6).
Focus your fight on what really matters.
8. When invading your liberal sensibilities they will focus on what hurts the most — women and minorities. They will act as if democracy was majority rule without respect for the minority. They will paint foreigners and immigrants as potential threats. Racial, religious, sexual and other minorities will become enemies to the order and security they are supposedly providing. They will challenge women’s social status, undermine gender equality and interfere with reproductive rights (see point 7). But it means they are aware of the threat women and minorities pose to their rule, so make it your strength.
Women and minorities should fight the hardest, reminding the majority what true democracy is about.
[Editor’s note: This is a rare moment where I believe Mycielski gets it wrong. People of color and women of all races are doing all they can; existence is itself political, but many have already gone above and beyond, taking key roles in resisting. They cannot be expected to “fight the hardest.” We need the people with the most privilege to step up and use their powers for good.]
9. They will try to take control of the judiciary. They will assault your highest court. They need to remove the checks and balances to be able to push through unconstitutional legislation. Controlling the judiciary they can also threat anyone that defies them with prosecution, including the press (see point 3).
Preserve the independence of your courts at all cost; they are your safety valve, the safeguard of the rule of law and the democratic system.
10. They will try to limit freedom of assembly, calling it a necessity for your security. They will enact laws prioritizing state events and rallies, or those of a certain type or ideology. If they can choose who can demonstrate legally, they have a legal basis to forcefully disperse or prosecute the rest.
Oppose any legislation attempting to interfere with freedom of assembly, for whatever reason.
11. They will distort the language, coin new terms and labels, repeat shocking phrases until you accept them as normal and subconsciously associate them with whom they like. A “thief,” “liar” or “traitor” will automatically mean the opposition, while a “patriot” or a “true American” will mean their follower (see point 2). Their slogans will have double meaning, giving strength to their supporters and instilling angst in their opponents.
EVERY authoritarian, totalitarian and fascist regime in history eventually failed, thanks to the PEOPLE.
Fight changes in language in the public sphere; remind and preserve the true meaning of words.
12. They will take over your national symbols, associate them with their regime, remake them into attributes of their power. They want you to forget that your flag, your anthem and your symbols belong to you, the people, to everyone equally. Don’t let them be hijacked. Use and expose them in your fight as much as they do.
Show your national symbols with pride; let them give you strength, not associate you with the tyranny they brought onto your country.
13. They will try to rewrite history to suit their needs and use the education system to support their agenda. They will smear any historical or living figure who wouldn’t approve of their actions, or distort their image to make you think they would. They will place emphasis on historical education in schools, feeding young minds with the “only correct” version of history and philosophy. They will raise a new generation of voters on their ideology, backing it with a distorted interpretation of history and view of the world.
Guard the education of your children; teach them critical thinking; ensure their open-mindedness and protect your real history and heritage.
14. They will alienate foreign allies and partners, convincing you that you don’t need them. They won’t care for the rest of the world, with their focus on “making your country great again.” While ruining your economy to fulfill their populist promises, they will omit the fact that you’re part of a bigger world whose development depends on cooperation, on sharing and on trade.
Don’t let them build walls promising you security instead of bridges giving you prosperity.
15. They will eventually manipulate the electoral system. They might say it’s to correct flaws, to make it more fair, more similar to the rest of the world, or just to make it better. Don’t believe it. They wouldn’t be messing with it at all if it wasn’t to benefit them in some way.
Oppose any changes to electoral law that an authoritarian regime wants to enact — rest assured it’s only to help them remain in power longer.
And above all, be strong, fight, endure and remember you’re on the good side of history.
EVERY authoritarian, totalitarian and fascist regime in history eventually failed, thanks to the PEOPLE.
— With love, your Eastern European friends
KALI HOLLOWAY
Kali Holloway is a senior writer and the associate editor of media and culture at AlterNet.
MARTIN MYCIELSKI
Martin Mycielski is an activist with the Committee for the Defence of Democracy (KOD) NGO and protest movement, which has organized the largest mass demonstrations in Poland since the fall of communism, opposing the authoritarian and unlawful actions of the Law and Justice (PiS) government and its leader, Jarosław Kaczyński. Follow him on Twitter: @mycielski.
This post has four notes. FOUR. Read it, read it again, memorize it, share it, reblog it. This is what I’m trying to say to my American friends, only said much much better. In response I hear “there are patriotic people in the government and they will take care of it”. I want to bang my head against the wall. No they won’t. Read this again.
TRANS WOMEN: HERE'S SOME SHIT YOUR DOCTOR WONT TELL YOU ABOUT HRT
1. Progesterone: not for everyone, but for many people it may increase sex drive and WILL make your boobs bigger. Also effects mood in ways that many find positive (but some find negative). Most doctors won’t prescribe this to you unless you ask. Most trans girls I know swear by it.
2. Injectible estrogen: is more effective than pill or patch form. Get on it if you can bear needles bc you will see more effects more quickly.
3. Estradiol Cypionate: There is currently a shortage of injectible estradiol valerate. There is no shortage of estradiol cypionate. Functionally they do the same shit.
4. Bicalutamide: This is an anti-androgen that has almost none of the side-effects of spironolactone or finasteride. The girls I know who are on it are evangelical about it.
Are there HRT medications that don’t increase blood clot risk? I’m already at risk because of my blood pressure, and my doctor won’t prescribe HRT that increases clot risk while I’m on the medication - and I may never not be on the medication.
The concerns surrounding venous thromboembolic events as a side-effect of hormone replacement therapy can mostly be traced back to one particular study known as the Women’s Health Initiative. This study was an enormous undertaking which, unfortunately, demonstrated significant adverse effects of the hormone therapies studied. As a result of this the use of hormone replacement therapy in postmenopausal cis women was dramatically reduced as the medical community began to question whether or not the therapy caused more harm than good.
Naturally, trans women have been suffering from this fall-out ever since.
What physicians seem to fail to recognize is that the study examined a very specific hormone regimen which was, arguably, outmoded at the time the study was conducted: It examined the use of conjugated equine estrogen (Premarin) with or without the use of medroxyprogesterone acetate. Neither of these drugs is regularly used for the treatment of transgender women.
The estrogen most commonly used to treat transgender women nowadays is 17β-estradiol either in pill form or in the form of a sticky patch that you apply to your skin. Esters of estrogen (e.g. estradiol valerate) are also sometimes used either in a pill form or as an intramuscular injection.
Transdermal estradiol patches are the gold standard when it comes to treating women who are at high risk of a venous thromboembolic event. It simply does not increase the risk of developing a venous thromboembolism. The only thing you should keep in mind is that patches are not always well tolerated because of the lifestyle changes required to keep them from falling off and the fact that they tend to irritate the skin.
Fortunately, oral 17β-estradiol appears to be safe, regardless of the increased risk. At least one large study has shown that the use of oral estradiol in trans women is not associated with venous thromboembolic events. An individual woman’s risk would need to be substantial in order to contraindicate the use of oral estradiol.
For those who have significant risk of venous thromboembolism because they have had a previous thromboembolic event, because they are paralyzed, or because of some other factor it is good to know the relative risk between oral and transdermal estrogen. The latest research indicates that the use of transdermal estrogen lowers your risk of a thromboembolism to 80% of what your risk would be using oral estrogens.
It’s difficult to find hard numbers regarding the relative risk of venous thromboembolic events with regards to hypertension. The best I could find after an hour or so of searching was this study regarding VTE in lung cancer patients. Hypertension increased the risk by a factor of 1.8.
However, to put that into perspective being of African descent increases your relative risk for deep vein thrombosis by a factor of 1.3 when compared to Europeans. Europeans are, themselves, at increased risk when compared to Asians and Pacific Islanders by a considerable margin: a four-fold increase.
I should point out that being ‘male’ is also a risk factor for developing a thromboembolism and hormones are likely to be a contributing factor. Also, menopause is another serious risk factor. Given this information it is likely that the use of transdermal estradiol will lower your risk of thromboembolic events significantly.
As far as the anti-androgen is concerned: The primary use for spironolactone for cisgender people is as an antihypertensive.
Even if the risk of thromboembolism was truly significant with modern hormone replacement therapy it wouldn’t justify what your doctor is doing to you. The fact is that mortality in the transgender community from suicide–caused in part due to the lack of access to hormone therapy–is substantial. The quality of life lost when a trans woman is denied hormone therapy is substantial. The fact that your doctor does not appear to be taking this into consideration when they weigh the risk of thromboembolism against not receiving necessary medical care is deeply concerning.
I strongly recommend that you seek a doctor who is more sensitive to your medical needs as a transgender woman.
New study projects a stunning drop in 2018 millennial voter turnout in battleground states
The 2016 presidential election — and its outcome — may have given plenty of Americans a new sense of urgency when it comes to civics.
But a new study projects that 40 million Americans who voted last year will likely not show up at the polls for the 2018 midterms.
And that two-thirds of those “drop-off” voters will be millennials, unmarried women and people of color.
The report, just out from the Voter Participation Center and Lake Research Partners, “Comparing the Voting Electorate in 2012-2016 and Predicting 2018 Drop-off,” notes that many of those expected not to cast a ballot next year live in key battleground states like Arizona, Nevada, Florida and Ohio. Read more (7/21/17)
Young people in America, REGISTER TO VOTE AND GET TO THE POLLS NEXT YEAR
THIS MATTERS
YOUR VOTE MATTERS SO MUCH OKAY
Just look at the difference young people getting out and voting made in the UK general election this year…young voters CAN make a POSITIVE DIFFERENCE by getting out and voting
And I know this isn’t a presidential election but it is in some ways EVEN MORE IMPORTANT
Because the president can’t do anything without congress and the senate on his side…but likewise, if the Republicans get a majority it means it will be easier for that disgusting sack of stinking dog-vomit Donald Trump and his party of traitors and criminals to push through the DISGUSTING things they want to try and inflict on the country and its people
Get out and vote democrat next year and keep the Republicans from getting a blank check to try and push through their bigoted, evil bullshit
I’m pretty sure the biggest barrier to young people voting isn’t not caring, it’s not knowing.
Am I registered? Shit, who knows? I’ve moved five times in the last four years. I think I registered, but that was a year ago, did I change districts since then? Where even are the polling places in this town? What are their hours? I know I submitted a registration, but did they get it? I didn’t get a confirmation. Did they lose my form? Am I even eligible? Who knows? Oh well, I’m sure I can always register in the days leading up to the – whoops, there’s a deadline and it’s already gone by.
This is one of those civic skills that you would really think would be taught in high school, and – surprise! – it isn’t.
So here’s how to check which district you’re in and who your rep is.
Here’s how to find out if you’re registered.
Here are the deadlines for when to register.
Here’s how to register, if it turns out you’re not.
Here’s how to find local polling places.
Of course, all of this – in the way of Tumblr, and the internet more generally – will be lost to the vagaries of cyberspace by the time November rolls around. So hey: tag it with “voting reference” and you’ll always be able to find it again.
so you guys, about a month my brother and his dog, thor, were shot. my brother didn’t make it but luckily thor did. my brother loved thor more than anything and he’d make sure thor was fed before he’d even feed himself. Thor is just a big loving baby who was my brothers bestfriend. Thor suffered a gunshot wound to the head and he’s doing better but taking care of my brother’s baby is definitely a challenge. it’s my family’s mission to make sure thor has the best life he can ever have. I lost my brother and Thor lost his master, his caretaker, and his bestfriend as well so you can understand how hard this can be on everyone. my family started a gofundme. any donation is helpful..no donation is ever too small and if you can’t donate please just share. literally anything helps you guys. please love those close to you, peace and love <3
Please please please boost this guys. Also I know no words will help you or your family feel any better after such a big loss but I really do wish you & your family the best. I hope you guys get a lot of donations at least to help the poor bby. I know he is sad as well.
