shower thoughts

and some not thought in the shower but equally as existential (random spam and personal side blog)

[notanorangepeel]

Man I so wish I could swear and make gay jokes around my siblings *clenches fist* so many peak humor opportunities lost

[thoughts-in-shower]

Your life while in school is a platform game, once you’re done with school it switches to an open-world game

[funny-tik-toks]

[transselkie]

No, you don’t understand. Construction workers are not being protected. They are being forced to go to work I unsafe condition. They’re told to do their jobs and keep this amount of distance, but as this video points out comedically, it is impossible to do their job and keep a safe distance from one another. Construction often requires a lot of people working together on single small rooms. You need multiple people to carry objects, use tools, use safety gear, etc. But they’re told they have to show up, because so long as they distance from each other they’re safe. But the job just doesn’t work like that. Tons of people are just walking off the job because of it. And as hilarious as this video is, it’s a testament to how ridiculous the conditions they’re asking these people to work under is.

[memescomedy]

[bleachedraptor2]

Battle armor

[tokai-teio]

NEIGH-T NEIGH-T

[cruelfeline]

It’s nice to see cosplay getting more mainstream.

[anonymousnerdgirl]

No living person can see him without his helmet. THIS IS THE NEIGH!

[tlirsgender]

I know "my dear" is just like, normal bro talk for victorians but will my gay ass ever be able to handle it? No

[tlirsgender]

Imagine if like 150 years from now "bro" ends up having Connotations and the Future Tumblr gays are all losing their minds about how tender classical literature sounds

[tlirsgender]

Someone circa 2019: what's up my mans

Gays in 2205: oh my god his mans.......

[notthedisneyyourelookingfor]

[repair-bear]

IS THAT A GIF IN A GIF IN A GIF

[ven-gethenian-blog]

This is officially the best thing on tumblr.

[nerrath]

Wtf

[mccullou29]

I forgot about this and here it is again. Now i will have it forever.

[rodrickheffeley]

[rodrickheffeley]

i think this post makes more sense now than ever

[kittiezandtittiez]

[knitmeapony]

This makes me laugh so hard EVERYTIME

[drivefasterboy-deactivated20151]

I almost sent this to the chair of my department once.

[tiktoks-we-like]

[grafai-ai]

Man sees crab for the first time.

[marshthemehllow]

does he...

Live in the

Sea?!

[asingularcanadian]

Some fucking

mollusk

pulls up

[bixbiboom]

The Backstreet Boys performing I Want It That Way together from each of their homes is exactly what I needed today.

[starsandskies-archive]

OMGGGGGGG

[helila]

[wherefore-do-i-wont-trespass]

how is this different than the Imagine song every one threw a fit about???? That one dude has a whole ass elaborate chandelier hanging behind him????

[randomslasher]

It’s different because their singing is a product they already know people want. 

The problem with the Imagine video wasn’t that “celebrities are rich people!” --we already knew that. 

The problem was a group of random celebrities--many of whom are decidedly NOT singers--put out a presumptuous collab that absolutely dripped with the patronizing assumption that it was what we all wanted. 

No one asked for it. It wasn’t their song, they didn’t do an especially good job performing it, and it didn’t impart a particularly relevant message (in fact, one could argue it’s almost inappropriate to sing a song about imagining no heaven when people are dying, and many of the survivors are trying to take comfort in their faith). 

It’s false sentiment delivered by a group of people who are presuming that a syrupy rendition of a well-known and important (or at least important sounding) song performed by well-known and (in their minds) important people would make all of the unimportant little people feel better during a global pandemic.

It was tone deaf (sometimes literally), it was condescending as fuck, and it painted an unintentionally embarrassing picture of inflated self-importance that was really just a bunch of celebrities trying to stay relevant in this time when they’re not getting the amount of attention they’re all used to. 

Backstreet Boys, on the other hand, are a music brand. This is their product. This is what they DO. And the tone of their video is one of “haha, hey, I know we’re not those kids anymore, but here’s some nostalgia we can all laugh at.” They hammed it up, some of them brought their kids into the video, and it was clear throughout all of it they weren’t taking themselves too seriously. They let themselves be the butt of the playful joke, rather than trying to impart a quasi-profound message that wasn’t even theirs to deliver (and didn’t even apply to our current circumstances in any meaningful way).

Musicians offering us their products in videos like this one already have proof that it’s something we want, and they’re doing it to help boost morale and give disappointed fans who are missing out on concerts something for free. 

The Imagine video, by contrast, gave us a steaming heap of nothing so a group of celebs could feel self-important and significant during a time when everyone is suddenly realizing that they aren’t. 

That’s the difference.

[prismatic-bell]

Hozier’s done two from-home concerts during this, and it’s the same. His close friend (and normally his bassist) came over to play piano, they sat on opposite sides of the camera frame, and they basically acted like a pair of good mates playing a bar set, joking with each other and asking for requests while also explaining what current WHO guidelines are and raising money in €4 increments (that’s about $4.35 USD) for a child abuse prevention charity in Ireland that’s struggling under the weight of the needs of quarantined children.

We needed fun and normalcy, they gave it to us and did something good in the meantime. (And also agreed to cover Toxic by Britney Spears.) There was literally no message there beyond “please stay safe and also, if you can, these kids need help.”

We don’t need to be preached at. We need to know we’re in this together. And yes, we need the arts. They feed the soul. But there are ways to do it, and ways not to.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[psychictoastmaker]

People in the comments being all bitter. As if the arts aren’t out here giving you a reprieve from all the shit y'all go through. As if the arts aren’t out here making sure you live a little bit instead of just surviving.

[miranova23]

[fyeahegerton]

One of the lads was over at my London flat the other day, and I Instagrammed a picture of him and said, “Look at this cutie,” and a million outlets reported that I was coming out as gay. I’m not gay, but two of my mates came out when I was 15 and it was a joy to support them because, as a group, we are all secure enough in who we are. I’m certainly not going to stop calling my mates cuties and gorgeous, because they are cuties and they are gorgeous. 

I’m not someone who’s remotely perturbed by male intimacy. 

[happybean17]

[therussianmajor]

Literally if all straight men were like this the world would be 100% less awful

[wilwheaton]

I found the polar opposite of toxic masculinity and I love it.

[humorblr]

Legally Blonde (2001) dir. Robert Luketic

[dialmformags]

#i don’t wan to be Too Deep with this#but i always liked this little moment#because Warner is trying to imply that marilyn is a lesser woman than jackie#as if all women are one of two things. and one of those things is ‘better’#but elle seems confused because she just sees them as two women#or at least doesn’t see why marilyn would be ‘worth’ less than jackie#or something like that#and therefore their main difference comes down to something simple#something dumb#and her mind concludes it must be#their hair color#and that might not be what the scene was trying to do at all#but that’s how i see it so#….#legally blonde#elle woods said marilyn deserves just as much respect as jackie (via @kaiayame​)

[stars-n-lighthouses]

I actually think this is exactly the point of the scene. Warner clearly thinks of Marilyn as gorgeous but dumb and Jackie as smart but less sexy. But we’re in this movie from Elle’s point of view. And Elle doesn’t understand Warner’s implication here because, to her, both these women are successful and beautiful and amazing. The only difference is one is blonde and the other is a brunette. 

This scene isn’t trying to make Elle look stupid, because the point of the movie is that she’s not. She’s just incredibly, unabashedly feminine. And Elle’s way of thinking here is right. The main difference between Marilyn and Jackie, that Warner would know of and therefore could be alluding to, that is also something Marilyn and Elle have in common with each other, is their hair colour. 

[iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat]

This is also a great point because people like to think Marilyn Monroe was vapid and dumb due to her film roles but she was actually incredibly intelligent and also just a great person all around, just like how Elle might seem dumb but is able to get into law school on her own merit. Neither should be underestimated!

[sunnysideanon-deactivated202003]

soft asks to get to know people

what song makes you feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

what’s your favorite candle scent?

what flower would you like to be given?

who do you feel most you around?

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

what color brings you peace?

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

what calms you down?

what’s something you’re excited for?

what’s your ideal date?

how are you?

what’s your comfort food?

favorite feel-good show?

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

compliment the person who sent you this number.

fairy lights or LED lights?

do you still love stuffed animals?

most important thing in your life?

what do you want most in the world right now?

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

what would you say to your future self?

favorite piece of clothing?

what’s something you do to de-stress?

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

what movie would you want to live in?

which character would you want to be?

hugs or hand-holding?

morning, afternoon or night?

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

[babyboomerbullshit]

[sammles]

r/im14andthisisdeep

[castielific]

Oh my god, I’ve just seen this story on instagram about this guy that filled his bathtub with waterbead…except he didn’t think about how he was going to empty it.

So he unplugged the bathtub which was apparently the worst idea he could possibly have because this happened

So he panicked and started asking people on the internet what he should do. Which was also a bad idea.

First suggestion: flush the toilet

This caused a smelly overflow that flooded the whole bathroom.

Second suggestion: vaccum the beads

His vaccum caught fire.

At this point it had actually spread to the neighborhood and people came to ask question but he denied knowing anything about it. He then discovered that it’s invaded the whole sewer system.

And yet, he continued to take suggestion from the internet.

Third suggestion: put salt in

It actually worked. Well, until.

Poop apprently started flooding his house.

And then the streets.

It all happened yesterday so we’re still waiting on an update on the situation but I hadn’t laugh like this in a while.

You should go and watch the whole story (it’s in 4 parts)

It’s in french, but you get it even if you don’t speak it and his screams of panic are hilarious

Word of warning: don’t fill your bathtub with waterbeads. Just don’t.

[castielific]

Update on the situation. The waterbeads have totally blocked the sewer system. He received a letter from town hall telling people to report nuisances to the cops that are searching for the culprit.

He’s in so much trouble that I’m starting to feel guilty for finding this funny…but still kinda laughing about it.

[mobilesuitzetagundam]

[zmun-deactivated20210618]

My brain riding out the last hour of work