meh

surprisingly unambitious grad student

[noteatingkale]

wow I’m really fucking depressed after reading my archived messages on facebook. I found pictures of myself from five years ago and I look so much younger??? and I found nasty vitriolic messages between me and an ex? and my pleading words asking him to take me back?? get me a drink

[noteatingkale]

a blonde mormon girl from salt late city is on the bachelor. her name is maquel. mormon names are the weirdest in the whole world

[noteatingkale]

my boyfriend doesn’t want me to put a “if you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair” bumper sticker on my car and I’m fucking pissed

[capacityforfcuking]

Visit Original Link

[c-bassmeow]

Name a greater angry white woman anthem. You can’t! This is THE shit! 🎤😫

[noteatingkale]

I used to love this song up until a few years ago. now I’m just mortified whenever I hear it. I was in Quebec of all fucking places when I hopped onstage to sing karaoke at this run down francophone dive bar where my ex was at with his new girlfriend. I drunkenly belted this shit out to him and they left. 

anyways, my new enraged white girl jam is zombie by the cranberries

[candyfornia]

[noteatingkale]

is it weird that I’m finding the Boston accent to be very sexy? is this an accent that people make fun of in the U.S.?

[noteatingkale]

you guys I have a job interview for a job that pays between $35 and $44 an hour!! if I get hired it’ll probably be $35 an hour because I’m a new grad and have a dearth of experience but AHHHHH!!!! I’ll be able to afford to buy Yankee candles!!!!

I’d have to move to a prairie province, but it’s an excellent government position related to my field (oil and gas policy)

[noteatingkale]

look who just texted me

if you followed my blog between 2013 and 2014, you’ll remember the fuckboy from Alabama who I had a thing with for like a year. remember?? I used to write about him and screenshot his cute texts?? it ended when he got a girlfriend out of no where and so I told him, “I’m done w/ you playing with my feelings - please delete my number and never text me again”. I mourned by posting a bunch of emo poetry on my blog, which I’m sure you guys rolled your eyes at (let’s face it, I’m pretty dramatic).

anyways, since then, he’s texted me exactly twice in three years. the last time was... let me think... 16 months ago. I said “new phone who dis” because I’m a lil troll and he ignored that. 

not sure if anyone cares but I started this friendship with him when I was 16, and we met on tumblr, believe it or not. almost ten years later, I think I’ve ***officially*** ended things, and I think it’s kinda nice to have this documented on tumblr too. 

[noteatingkale]

ughhhhhh I don’t want to sound like a gold-digging, status-obsessed sycophant but the guy I turned down in my undergrad started Yale Law School today :(((( he’s gonna be a Supreme Court Justice while I’m going to be making $15 an hour 

[noteatingkale]

can we just talk about how cute my boyfriend is 

[noteatingkale]

I’ve been so stressed out about finishing my thesis and finding a job and a new place (and city???) to live after graduation that my forehead is full of pimples and I now suffer from acid reflux :)))) 

[noteatingkale]

welp

[fishingboatproceeds]

As I near 200,000 followers here at fishingboatproceeds, I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[arkham]

this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it

[noteatingkale]

the best part about coming back to tumblr after a long hiatus is seeing that everyone still makes fun of CommunismKills

[famouspeopleonratemyprofessors]

James Franco

[noteatingkale]

please, god, let this be true

[noteatingkale]

a woman in my cohort has to send every. single. thing. she writes for school to the CIA before it’s allowed to be handed in, on account that she used to work for the CIA for ten years then quit to get married to a guy studying for his PhD in geological engineering in Canada

[noteatingkale]

pros 

excellent pay

transferable experience

good working environment (or so says my friend currently working there)

cons

I will have to live in the fucking Arctic