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This is basically how Batlantern functions as a ship XD

Okay so we have all seen the valid reasons why Bruce won't kill. I will now explore the MOST valid reasons Bruce won't kill

He thinks blood is icky

Dead bodies give him the heeby jeebies

He fears the retribution of ghosts

The Gotham cemetery is at capacity

He has a beef with the local mortician and refuses to help give him any more business

Autopsies will reveal what Wayne Enterprises is actually dumping into the river

If Zombies become a thing, there are less to fight

A nation wide formaldehyde shortage

He doesn't have the time to appear at funerals as Bruce and have time to be Batman

Funerals are a bummer

He wants the monopoly on wearing black clothes and brooding

oldersistercore

why are dog lovers so hateful??? like you meet a cat lover and they’re like “oh i love dogs a lot too! i just prefer cats!” but dog lovers are always like “my ENTIRE FAMILY was MURDERED by a CAT, a cat STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN, TOOK MY JOB AND KEYED UP MY CAR"

starlightomatic

I don’t even think Christmas shouldn’t be all over the public space like it is. Clearly it does make a lot of people happy and I lowkey I actually kind of like it too! (Sort of. But I also don’t.) So, continue covering your town square or wherever with trees and lights, I’m not saying not to. What I *am* asking for is:

- Acknowledge that Christmas is not a universal holiday and that some people either feel negatively about it or just don’t celebrate it. Stop being offended by this.

- Stop forcing people to participate. Don’t make your Jewish employees wear Christmas outfits, don’t make schoolkids be part of Christmas plays, etc.

- Stop pushing back when Jews are honest with you about how they feel about it.

- Stop deflecting to talk about how Christmas traditions are actually pagan in origin. We know, and also it’s fully irrelevant to our issues with Christmas.

- Recognize things from other cultures. Or at very least don’t *prevent* members of other cultures from expressing them. If your employee wants to put up a menorah, let them. If your coworker wants to add a Chanukah decoration to your office don’t take it down when they’re not looking because it “messes up the Christmas spirit” or whatever.

- Recognize things from different cultures at other times of the year too. Let your Jewish students and employees take days off for the fall holidays. Maybe even consider merchandise or decorations for those holidays too!

- Stop with the double standards. You don’t get to say that a menorah is religious and a Christmas tree isn’t. Either both of them are or neither of them are. A menorah actually is a ritual object but a) plenty of secular Jews use them and b) I don’t think most Christians know that, they just think of Judaism (and therefore Jewish culture) as “a religion” and Christian culture as normal. When people claim to object to Chanukah (the holiday most widely — and often exclusively — celebrated by secular Jews) because it’s “religious,” they’re actually objecting because it’s non-normative.

- Listen when someone is telling you about their experiences with and thoughts about hegemonic culture. Don’t argue that actually it’s fine becaude Christmas is secular or pagan or whatever. Trust people about the experiences they’ve had and how things impact them.

(Yes, non-Jews can reblog this.)

lazyartgirl

Can we please get a Batman who is a total tired dad like Clint Barton in the new Hawkeye show? Like . . . .

Batman: We’ll need to get supplies

Duke: Hell yeah. Justice League supplies?

Batman: *gets band-aids from Alfred’s kitchen*

Duke: This is a bit of a let down

Cass: *signing* love you dad

Bruce: *signing* love you more

Bruce and Harper: *looking at people dressed up as Justice League members*

Man-bat: *present*

Harper: Oh look, that one’s you

Bruce: No, that’s a furry

Local news: *talking about Red Hood being the suspect of various crimes*

Jason: Wait they think it was me?

Bruce: It’s been less than 24 hours. You’ve been on the news twice, impressive

Cullen: So what’s the plan now? Let me guess. We’re going to your safe house?

Cullen: *whispers* Is it mount Justice?

Bruce: No, Bruce Wayne sold that years ago

Cullen: ...

Cullen: That is so sad on so many levels

Bruce: *giving very clear instructions to Dick and Jason*

Bruce: Most importantly, remember these words. Don’t loose Tim, okay?

Dick: Where’s Tim?

Bruce: *panicking* Where’s Tim?

Tim: *Asleep at the Batcomputer*

Bruce: Did you clean it?

Barbara: *new at Batgirl* ...

Bruce: You did it all wrong. Let me fix it okay?

Barbara: You’re taking it off?

Bruce: Yeah, its on wrong

Bruce: I am not thrilled that I’m about to replace an irreplaceable clock tower

Damian: It was a bell tower

Bruce: The dean said it had both a bell and a clock. And the overachiever that you are, managed to destroy both

Bruce: You’re not gonna listen to me, are you?

Tim: I want to, but no

Bruce: *on comms with Justice League*

Green Lantern: *starts talking*

Bruce: *turns comm off*

Dick: Did you turn your hearing aid off?

Steph: Your problem is branding

Bruce: No, my problem is you

Bruce: *continues complaining*

Steph: No, its branding

catchymemes

afeelgoodblog

I’m not crying you’re crying

sasquapossum

Every once in a while, technology does good things. It does things that resonate with us as *humans*, not machines or abstractions. I love stories like this.

kaity--did

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

kaity--did

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

kaity--did

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

kaity--did

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

frostbittenbucky

I’m so fucking sick of it

Bruce Wayne IS NOT BATMAN!!! Leave the damn man alone! No offense but Bruce Wayne is a fucking idiot

Have any of your seen a single interview with him? The man legitimately didn’t believe narwhals existed

lemanzanabizarra

Cut of said interview:

Bruce Wayne: so the sea unicorns are real?!

imacowboy3

Honestly Bruce Wayne is THE definition of himbo,I don't know why ya'll keep insisting that he's the bat.

inprogress-predicament

Ok, but remember when the Riddler crashed a Wayne Gala. Bruce decked the first goon to get with 10 feet of his kids.

frostbittenbucky

He’s just a really good parent. If you had your gang of children at a heist you too would drop anyone who approaches them

mollyhats

Look the baseline for Gotham himbo is different from everywhere else. You wouldn’t understand, you’re probably from Metropolis or smth.

dick-nightwing-grayson

As a parent, I second @frostbittenbucky That is simply instinct. I ill personally fight the joker if he threatened my kids. He may win, but he would not come out unscathed. Bruce Wayne is just a mother hen doing his best

sugarcoated44

I’ve seen Bruce Wayne stutter when trying to buy hot dogs from a vendor on main street outside his office, anyone who says him and the bat are the same has to be on something.

sapphossidechick

but the butts are the same

locket-lyncis

Are you seriously going on the fact that their butts are the same? That's creepy af! Now you're sexualising both of them >:(

frostbittenbucky

Thank you!!!111!1!!!! Disgusting 😤