Might Be A Mouse On A Typewriter

🏳️‍🌈ADHD🌱24🌸she/her🐸spam away✨Batcest DO NOT interact🤮BLM

[frostbittenbucky]

You know what? *unbats your man*

I… I- is that allowed? Can they do that??

Please rebat my man. Without the bat he’s just a very sad and mentally ill rich man

[frostbittenbucky]

[gasps] @ameba-from-space I-is this allowed ? P-please… someone… anyone…. Can they do that ?

@nightingalestakeflight

[ameba-from-space]

It been a long wait, but I have decided to officially end your suffering

Be happy *rebats your man*

[frostbittenbucky]

Oh god, I’m finally free! It’s been a hard hard time, working with just Bruce

He had no purpose, he still had 0 coping skills, it’s been hard but I’m glad I pulled through

[frostbittenbucky]

@animatiddies FUCK WHY

WHY!? Only @ameba-from-space has that authorization

Right???

[frostbittenbucky]

ITS BEEN FOUND @Dick-nightwing-grayson thank you 🥺

[damianwaynerocks]

saw someone say months ago that the best cover story for jason coming back to life in the public eye is to say he was in witness protection. and i agree with that! but id like to add: jason would make a public statement saying that the reason he was in witness protection is “i saw joker kill robin”

[explorerrowan]

Only problem I can see is that the US Marshals service and similar organizations would absolutely notice, because they keep meticulous records on people who are actually in witness protection, and he wasn't on their list. They'll probably have to investigate. Depending on how much Jim Gordon knows at that point, he'll probably need to falsify some records that state that Jason Todd was in protective custody with GCPD and just "forgot" to file the information with the Marshals service.

That, or Tim or Barbara has to work some computer magic to hack the US Marshals Witness Protection database and create Jason a profile. Jason will be furious when he finds out that the witness protection identity they created for him was as a rodeo clown in Kansas or something.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Robin!Jason: I wonder if different brands of shampoo taste different

Dick: They do

Jason:

Dick:

Jason:

Dick: Wait, ask me again and I'll hesitate before answering this time.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

This bitch did fucking what?

[fablehaven-rulez]

Yeah, uhm, story, please?!?!?!?!

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

@nterror-blog please explain

[nterror-blog]

So funny story:

[everwalldigan-deactivated202602]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???

[brucie-baby]

nightwing v3 #30 & sue zhao

[sheegons]

i love random damian skills that never get brought back they're so funny

Like yeah, of course this ten year old can mimic voices of teenagers and fully grown adults enough to trick THE FUCKING BATMANS SECURITY SYSTEM IN HIS MOST SECURE BASE. of course he can do that

also of course he can survive being stabbed in a vital organ. yeah. he can just...move it aside from the knife that he was stabbed with and heal fully while he sleeps. just move HIS LIVER out the way. I'm sure tim would appreciate that skill for his spleen but whatever.

[ditzybat]

dick: you need your license revoked, your driving is absolutely heinous, jay

jason: that’s fair, i’m pretty sure my permit is expired

dick: i’m almost scared to ask… permit?

jason: not much time to learn how to drive in between dying and being resurrected

dick: oh my god

jason, literally seconds away from hitting bruce with his car: you’re looking at a man with exactly one shitty walmart parking lot driving lesson under his belt

[symeona]

I named it telenovelaverse cause I want to expand it hsjdfn

[lokutofu]

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

[daydreamerdoodles]

Post patrol family game night goes awry ...

Meme reference under cut

[webshood]

time travel fanfic idea where Jason comes back to before he was adopted, him and Batman still meet and he still ends up being adopted by Bruce Wayne, but he just refuses to acknowledge Batman and Robin, he acts like a civilian boy, he has over thirteen extracurriculars that Bruce does his best to keep up with. He regularly works out and trains all the fighting he's learned over the years, he goes on a gap year before college to recuperate the all blades and pretends to be the civilian in a family of crime fighting vigilantes.

He's doing pre-med and keeps nagging his siblings to go to college too (Cass, Tim), Duke is the one who spends more time with him bc everyone else is nocturnal and sleep through the day, but Jason likes to drive Duke to his classes and pick him up so they can have lunch together, Damian had a hard time at first, because Jason speaks every language that he speaks and all bat related things have to stay at the cave, his league training didn't prepare him for a civilian brother.

During an attempted kidnapping during one of the Wayne galas, Jason's whole plan almost gets blow up because one of the guys has taken a woman hostage and his Red Hood fried brain just pounced on the dude with all his might, wrestled him for the gun and kept him stuck under his boot with the gun pointed between the guys brows.

He had to pretend to be scared when Batman came to the rescue and act like he didn't know how to handle a gun.

+ Alfred 100% thinks Jason was on a children gang and that's why he's so good with knives, guns and rifles, but who's he to say anything about people's past

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

[aingeal98]

Cass's civilian identity being paper thin is so important to me actually. Barely anyone on the street knows Bruce Wayne's daughter and any of the press who are interested can't uncover a single thing other than him adopting her when she was 19. It leads to a whole lot of speculation but no actual facts.

Meanwhile you have assassins who are the best of the best, the cream of the crop, and anyone who is someone in the evil assassin underworld knows all about David Cain and his daughter who turned rogue and became Batgirl.

Which means most of them see her with Bruce Wayne and are like ohoho a clever plan by Batman indeed! Putting Batgirl undercover as Bruce Wayne's daughter to guard and protect Wayne, who's a key part of all the recent projects to improve Gotham City. Masterful gambit Mr Batman sir, you also get a spy who reports on everything Wayne's doing whenever you need it.

This gives Cass the freedom to not even try to hide herself behind some sort of helpless civilian persona. Attempted kidnappings of Bruce Wayne and his kids have dropped by 90% since she got adopted, as the first one to try and take a fancy party hostage got the shit kicked out of him by Cassandra Wayne while her father watched proudly.

The next attempt brought a gun and she disarmed him then broke his hand. Finally they sent a whole squad of mercenaries to kidnap Bruce and Tim on the way to a W.E business meeting only to find Cass in the car with them. The kidnapping did not go as planned and the goons have several questions as to why the fuck Bruce Wayne's daughter is a metahuman who dodges bullets. They never get answers.

She's the only batkid who never has to fake her abilities. Damian is highly indignant about this but she just pokes his forehead and tells him it's a skill issue when he complains.

[broke-bruce-wayne]

Gonna be just me and the dog and the cat this weekend, what kind of shenanigans should I get up to?

[frostbittenbucky]

Buy matching hats with them

[miiuxue]

the rumor

[miiuxue]

grilled cheese

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

While funny and common having Bruce not knowing things that his kids do in fanfics, would be even funnier having him always knowing, but as long it doesn't affect him or give more work to Alfred, he just supports.

Kids planning a hidden game of paintball at the watchtower? Bruce leaves some hi tech paint gum next to the zeta and a memo saying who is there that day and a bonus to annoy someone

I mean, this person has a point! That's MY Bruce Wayne, he is the world's greatest detective after all, he knows exactly what they are doing, he just finds it funny. He took it from Alfred btw, because Alfred knows everything and if he acts like he doesn't, it's an official permission.