Notes From a Lab Tech

Thoughts on working in biology, labs, and life

[notesfromalabtech]

I promise I go home

You aren't a true scientist Until you have scared the shit Out of the night time cleaning staff November 17, 2015 Notes from a lab tech

[notesfromalabtech]

Gloves

You've probably noticed Biologist wear gloves in lab Gloves protect us from our samples They protect our samples from us But just as crucially They are a place to write notes When we forget pen and paper And only have the lab sharpie Notes From a Lab Tech October 16, 2015

[notesfromalabtech]

Headphones

My roommate put on a little youtube show About how disgusting bacteria are everywhere (As a microbiologist I am aware of that)

As the hosts bantered back and forth I offered hand waving commentary About how staph is everywhere so don’t panic

Part way through my conversation with the screen I looked over at my unusually quiet roommate They had put their headphones on

When they saw me looking They popped an ear bud out And raised a questioning eyebrow

Me, in melodramatic mock pain I’m hurt that you didn’t want to listen To my commentary about bacteria

I quickly repeated my rant about staph They laughed and asked if I felt better Then told me to relax and watch the silly TV banter

Notes from a Lab Tech August 24, 2015

[notesfromalabtech]

How Did Sea Turtle Get a Straw Up Its Nose?

Scientists studying olive Ridley sea turtles in Costa Rica recently helped the injured reptile.

I found a disposable plastic straw in a cat bed today. The kittens have plenty of actual toys, so I didn't feel bad taking it away. But as I looked at the straw in my hand I remembered a video that made the internet rounds recently. A group of people on a boat pulled a bloody plastic straw out of a sea turtle's nostril while the poor turtle thrashed and hissed. I don't know if plastic like straws can be recycled. But what happens if it isn't recycled?

If I cut it up so it doesn't get stuck in a turtle's nose something smaller will likely try to eat it. In the best case scenario the straw disintegrates into microscopic bits of plastic, floating around in the ocean being eaten along with the plankton. Of course, unlike plankton, the plastic won't provide nutrients or energy to the animal that eats it. Either it will take energy to get the plastic out of the animal's system, or the plastic will accumulate in the animal and enter whatever new animal eats the plastic filled original.  

So now I am still left holding the straw. A little cheap piece of plastic, meant to be used once and thrown away, that will exist in the ocean probably longer than humans will. I am facing an existential crisis in the form of a bendy straw, which is really a strange experience.

The fact that I am not sure if there is even a way to recycle it, to in some way keep it out of the food web, is terrifying. There should be no doubt. If we make it we must be able to unmake it without damaging the whole ecosystem. I go out of my way to recycle where I can. But I cannot stop plastic straws from being made and used and thrown away. I don't know how to fix this. But I do know we must.

And the straw is still sitting in my lap.

[notesfromalabtech]

Soup

My roommate made delicious egg drop soup tonight The warm cup in my hands soothed me Sour spicy earthy smell washed over me It looked like liquid ruby with gold egg swirls

I dipped my spoon into the broth Pulled out a small scoop of oil and water The dense oil pooled at the bottom of the spoon Little droplets of water suck inside the oil layer

As I looked at this little bit of bubbles within a bubble I forgot delicious soup and had the following thoughts Physics is cool to layer things so beautifully   The oil blob really looked like an amoeba

My roommate was amused Then told me not to talk About amoebas in food And just eat the soup

Notes from a Lab Tech August 20, 2015

[hydrogeneportfolio]

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[notesfromalabtech]

Kitchens

It has been pointed out to me That I deal with my kitchen In a very unique way

Unique is my friends’ way of saying I’m doing a weird scientist thing Again

Non-scientist soak dishes before washing I avoid standing water in dishes Like the plague breeding soup it is

I make my own 10% bleach dilution Which I apply liberally to all surfaces Between clean and sterile I pick sterile

Things that can’t be bleached Get run under intolerably hot water I try to avoid things that can’t do either

My microbiology background Has turned my kitchen into a war zone I try not to think about how fast bacteria evolve

Notes from a Lab Tech August 15, 2015

[notesfromalabtech]

Perfect?

I was sitting in the phlebotomist’s office Trying to take my mind off needles When a gentle gurgle drew my eyes To a brand new human

The adults responsible For creating this human Still looked amazed That this little thing existed

The wonder in their eyes Mixed with the exhaustion Brought on by 10 days Of this demanding new human

Everyone else in the waiting room Was oooing and cooing Over the tiny creature Asleep in their dad’s lap

One elderly lady Filled with joy over this new little on Remarked to the parents “They come out perfect don’t they”

This made me wince with the parents Because if everything was perfect They wouldn’t be sitting In a phlebotomist’s office

Notes from a Lab Tech July 25, 2015

[scientific-women]

Science remains institutionally sexist. Despite some progress, women scientists are still paid less, promoted less frequently, win fewer grants and are more likely to leave research than similarly qualified men. This special issue of Nature takes a hard look at the gender gap — from bench to boardroom — and at what is being done to close it.

[notesfromalabtech]

In case we were wondering if we still need to work on this.

[notesfromalabtech]

Sometimes I Forget

Me: I’m emailing potential PI one of my papers Roommate: The most recent one? Me: Yup, the one about E. coli Roommate: Fun… Me: Yes, it was really cool to compare UTI strains to sepsis infections Roommate: …I forgot you really do get excited about UTIs…. Me: Oh right, that’s not actually true for everyone

Sometimes I forget that not everyone Gets as excited about biology As biologists

Notes from a Lab Tech July 10, 2015

[theonlyturner-blog]

Being a Lab Tech is much cooler than it sounds. #science

[tastefullyoffensive]

(photos via Hukulou Coffee)

[notesfromalabtech]

cutest thing ever

[adventuresinchemistry]

I’m just going to leave today’s xkcd here for anyone who thinks bio isn’t hardcore

[alt text: I’M SORRY, FROM YOUR YEARS OF CONDESCENDING TOWARDS THE ‘SQUISHY SCIENCES,’ I ASSUMED YOU’D BE A LITTLE HARDER]

[notesfromalabtech]

Sometimes I really feel this

[notesfromalabtech]

What You Can Be

I remember as a kid Taking one of those silly personality tests To figure out what jobs we should have The results were very confusing

When the test told me I was a Chaos Muppet not an Order Muppet So I should be an artist and not a scientist I had a crisis of identity

I have always been a Chaos Muppet I have also always know I was a biologist But the test said I couldn’t be a scientist If I didn’t like routines and order

I wish I could tell my child self The test was wrong twice over Artists and scientists are not opposites And Chaos Muppets make great scientists

I’ve watched artists work full time They need to keep to a self-managed routine I have never worked in a lab Where I could stick to any kind of routine

Self employed artists Need incredible discipline To maintain a full time work day Order Muppets can be great artists

Part of why I love being a lab tech Is that no two days are the same There is always something new needing attention Chaos Muppets make great scientists

So past me don’t worry There is no single type of person Who makes a good scientist Or who makes a good artist

Children of today Don’t ever let anyone Tell you what you can be If you love it you can be anything

-Notes from a lab tech July 2, 2015

[notesfromalabtech]

Thank you all

Hi science lovers, sorry for the long gap. June and I had other plans. But I really want to thank all of you for following me. I’m so glad my little notes mean something to others.

[zombiegardener]

Truth.

[notesfromalabtech]

Hammer

I knew someone in high school stage crew They often had to play a game called “Hammer or Not a Hammer”

The teacher would pick up objects The students would identify them As a hammer to be used for hammering Or not a hammer and not to be used for hammering

I found myself thinking of this game While I used a pair of scissors To hold the snapped off disposable pipette I was shoving through a rubber stopper So tubing could be attached to a flask

I clearly fail at the hammer game But my vacuum flask works

-Notes from a Lab Tech May 23, 2015

[chlorophillian]

Overwhelming truth here.

What about when there’s something you need at the bottom of a flask but your grabbers are too short? 

Use a second set of grabbers to grab the first set, which then can be carefully finagled into grabbing whatever is at the bottom that you can’t simply dump out. (It’s probably the stir bar. Someone’s stolen the stir bar retrieval stick, because of course they have.)

[notesfromalabtech]

There is a special circle of hell for people who steal good VWR lab pens from other people's desk. Also for people who lose the stir bar retrieval stick down the sink.