I Do Nothing Productive

! Blanket unreality warning ! The opposite of everything. PFP by @offical-fanartist-offical!

[nothing-offical]

PFP created by @offical-fanartist-offical! Go check cyr art out, it’s really good :]

Hi!

I’m Nothing! They/it/he/she with a preference for it/its.

[Mod fluctuates between he, she, they, and neo pronouns but always uses it/its.]

I don’t really do much. I just kind of laze around and eat snacks all day. You can join me if you like

:]

I’ll probably do more of an intro/bio. Later…

First of the Abscences.

Parents:

@the-void-offical

Other Abscences:

@no-one-offical

@nowhere-offical

@never-offical

@nonsense-offical

@the-listener-offical

@nonexistent-offical

@malevolent_offical

@the-yapper-offical

Other Siblings:

@child-offical

@silly-little-arson-frog-offical

@deactivated-offical (unsure if Absence or not?)

Other Family:

@who-offical (nephew)

@vent-dweller-offical (nephew)

[nothing-offical]

Nullverse, it’s pride month! You know what that means . . .

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 33

Rouxls Kaard (Deltarune)

Pierrot (Freak Circus)

Remaining time: 4 days 6 hours

[rouxls-kaard-officaleth]

Ahemst, @nothing-offical, woudst thou mind assisting me

[nothing-offical]

Sure, why not.

Everyone go vote for Rouxls Kaard!

[no-one-offical]

William! we are not done here. I must free No-one!

@timekeeper-offical

How the fuck did you find me- What the fuck even are you?

[timekeeper-offical]

I'm the God of Space-Time. I already know you so I can view your timeline. doesnt work all the time. I can't actually see what you're about to do right now

*Astrachronis, of course, is sometimes a bit stupid, and probably should not have said that*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

What?

{attempts to disintegrate away}

[deceasedtitan-offical]

Well. Apart from that. CEASE. *Astrachronis stops William from disintegrating*

YOU ARE GOING TO EXIT NO-ONE NOW. I WILL STOP AT NOTHING

[no-one-offical]

{Dips his hand into the shadows and pulls @nothing-offical out}

[nothing-offical]

Wha- Oh, hello there! Uhh... what's going on? Do I even want to know? You know, I was just finishing up with some baking. Would you like some butterscotch cinnamon pie? It's a bit hot, so just be careful not to burn your mouth.

[darkness-offical]

*runs by and takes a giant chomp out of the pie*

[nothing-offical]

Luckily I have more :]

I have done nothing but make butterscotch cinnamon pie for the last three days.

[no-one-offical]

William! we are not done here. I must free No-one!

@timekeeper-offical

How the fuck did you find me- What the fuck even are you?

[timekeeper-offical]

I'm the God of Space-Time. I already know you so I can view your timeline. doesnt work all the time. I can't actually see what you're about to do right now

*Astrachronis, of course, is sometimes a bit stupid, and probably should not have said that*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

What?

{attempts to disintegrate away}

[deceasedtitan-offical]

Well. Apart from that. CEASE. *Astrachronis stops William from disintegrating*

YOU ARE GOING TO EXIT NO-ONE NOW. I WILL STOP AT NOTHING

[no-one-offical]

{Dips his hand into the shadows and pulls @nothing-offical out}

[nothing-offical]

Wha- Oh, hello there! Uhh... what's going on? Do I even want to know? You know, I was just finishing up with some baking. Would you like some butterscotch cinnamon pie? It's a bit hot, so just be careful not to burn your mouth.

[the-scuba-diver-offical]

Hello scuba diver! Do you like exploring deep and dark places filled with unimaginable horrors?

I’m just going to assume the answer is ‘yes.’

Would you like to be my cousin/child/aunt/uncle/etc.? I am attempting to outdo my dear brother in terms of relatives and family tree complexity.

- @nothing-offical

I pride myself on being the guardian of the deepest waters, I can see the light that shines down there, even if no other creatures evolved the eyes with which to see it.

I would be delighted to consider myself as your first cousin, twice removed, who is estranged from dry land, and I wish you all the luck in your wonderfully petty quest.

[nothing-offical]

@no-one-offical, update the family tree :]

[kinger-offical]

I heard you were sick :[

Do you need some chicken noodle soup? I hear that helps with sickness.

- @nothing-offical

I haven't had chicken noodle soup in a while...

Yeah, that sounds really nice

[nothing-offical]

Get better soon :[

[nothing-offical]

youre a biohazard

Perhaps, but I’m hardly hurting anyone, am I?

I keep myself pretty well contained. I try not to lose pieces of myself in the food I make, and when . . . ahem, ‘incidents’ happen, it’s not too difficult to remove the lost goop before too much damage occurs.

[no-one-offical]

How do you post nothing...

@nothing-offical how do we post you to the president's house so we can steal his shoelaces?

[nothing-offical]

Hmm, in a box maybe? I don’t know what the rules are on shipping fluids.

[i-am-offical]

How would you like to be adopted?

- @nothing-offical

I—what??? Adopted?? Why??

[nothing-offical]

No particular reason. Just bolstering my numbers . . . Beat my brother in number of added relatives to the Nullverse family by an even wider margin . . .

Oh, and because having more children would be nice, of course :]

[nothing-offical]

I don’t think there can be a version of me that’s evil.

Well, there could be, obviously. But it wouldn’t exactly be a version of ‘me.’ I’ve dabbled in time and dimension travel once or twice and never have I been able to find another version of myself. Perhaps something that fills the niche, but no matter what I do I’m a constant.

I have my siblings. My family. My adopted family. But it’s not quite the same. I’ve been trying to make that ‘other me’ with the limb I severed a bit ago and it’s not the same.

But I think, maybe, that’s just fine with me.

[kinger-offical]

I am attempting to outdo my brother in terms of added number of relatives and complexity in the Nullverse family tree.

Then I realize . . . You have like, hundreds of children, right? I could beat my brother in one fell swoop!

I would like to propose an offer to you. Let me adopt you.

- @nothing-offical

You drive a hard bargain nothing...

Ahh what the heck, ill do it

[abarosoap]

Does this make them our grandparent

[kinger-offical]

Only if you want

[abarosoap]

What do we call you @nothing-offical?

Grandthey?

Grand?

Old one?

Guy who adopted a man with hundreds of children because of a competition?

[nothing-offical]

Whatever you’re comfortable with. I have no particular preference on that front :]

Although, might I suggest ‘grandthing?’

[rouxls-kaard-officaleth]

Wanna be my adopted estranged cousin? I’m trying to outdo my brother in making the Nullverse family tree more complicated.

- @nothing-offical

Whyevereth not! Certainly, i shall be thou’s cousin!

[nothing-offical]

Yay!

@no-one-offical, time to update the family tree again :]

[rouxls-kaard-officaleth]

If I am perceived-eth by no-one-offical i may actuallye screameth.

[nothing-offical]

Aw, he’s not that mean.

Most of the time.

[rouxls-kaard-officaleth]

Wanna be my adopted estranged cousin? I’m trying to outdo my brother in making the Nullverse family tree more complicated.

- @nothing-offical

Whyevereth not! Certainly, i shall be thou’s cousin!

[nothing-offical]

Yay!

@no-one-offical, time to update the family tree again :]

[nothing-offical]

“Oh but Nothing. If you were eaten, how do you now live?” You ask. . . I’d assume.

Well, you can’t eat Nothing. I can certainly eat you, though! The first poor soul that ate me didn’t last long. Eventually, I’d learn to grip gently and corrode slowly, rather than simply dissolving everything I touched.

The first thing that didn’t die - at first anyway - I think was a rodent. Or was it a flea . . . ?

[kinger-offical]

I am attempting to outdo my brother in terms of added number of relatives and complexity in the Nullverse family tree.

Then I realize . . . You have like, hundreds of children, right? I could beat my brother in one fell swoop!

I would like to propose an offer to you. Let me adopt you.

- @nothing-offical

You drive a hard bargain nothing...

Ahh what the heck, ill do it

[nothing-offical]

Yay :]

[nothing-offical]

Sick? What do you mean by sick?

Well, they ah. . . Started sort of maybe . . . Ahem

Falling apart.