no x

i abandoned my blog for four years and idk why im back but twitter scares me so here i am

[huffylemon]

Happy Halloween

[spookyskeletonblog]

[flowerfairyboi]

"I think we ought to live happily ever after," and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal more hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

- Diana Wynne Jones, Howl’s Moving Castle

[coughloop]

[dayquil-driver]

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

[dayquil-driver]

reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it's my dash)

[were--ralph]

Tumblr used to be so easy, so simple.

[were--ralph]

"Touch my butt and buy me chicken nuggets"; 40k notes

What happened when did we stray so far from the light of god

[solitarelee]

[were--ralph]

[important-animal-images]

[d-d-zero]

[aurjeon]

Yoongi on VLIVE +

[sizvideos]

[nopizza]

He committed to how pissed off he was

[cocochineal]

I love how petty this is

[quiet--batpeople]

I hope he brought the video to traffic court to contest the ticket lol

[doing-talking]

I love the poetry that this gifset ends with him running into a police car.

[gjallarmoth]

This is a tactic called Uncivil Obedience: where you follow the law so stringently that it exposes the injustice the law causes.

[bangtan]

[imaanhammamofficial]

[birdsy-purplefishes]

My first thought was “is that Hermione?” 

And then: “#behold your new hermione headcanon”

[thesanityclause]

This is absolutely Hermione and you cannot convince me otherwise

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

now if lady macbeth knew about pegging, i don’t think that there would have been nearly as much murder in that play

[loverlv]

me: tries to sign into my google account

google: this UGLY bitch just tried to HACK into your account. destroy all your electronic devices to prevent this

[bipirate]

not to be harry potter on main but i honestly think the fantastic beasts series would have been so much more interesting if it was just about the beasts. i don’t give a fuck about grindelwald, just give me a movie about an eccentric wizard travelling the world looking for magical animals and teaching us the power of friendship

[neenarchive]

newt’s character should have been like the crocodile hunter but in a wizard hat send tweet

[valtsv]

outfit idea: a tshirt that says “I CAN’T BE KILLED” across the chest paired with booty shorts that read “GOD WON’T LET ME DIE” across the ass

[valtsv]

accessorise with hot pink sunglasses that spell “I WISH I WAS DEAD” across the tops of the frames for the ultimate Look™️

[valtsv]

power move

[knifefightscene]

THE ANIMAL NOT THE COP KHFGJFGHHHJ

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

Same energy

[clayinla]

I’m glad he clarified tbh

[juxtp0se]

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

[goddamnshinyrock]

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

[fer8girl]

lawful good vs chaotic good

[nyanguardparty]

chaotic evil

[pleaseexorciseme]

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

[jackironsides]

Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body

[ryrosryhoe]

Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands

[bonepoem]

Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE

He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’

[jukebox-head]

Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.

[cryptiboy]

proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera

[wintersoldierfell]

What’s so horrifying about this to me is that this is literally Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach John Mulaney how to gaslight his wife.

Look at that dialogue. “She thinks she knows.” He’s trying to get Mulaney to see his wife’s expertise as instead a weird misperception. He’s coaching him to undercut his wife’s confidence in the truth and her own abilities.

And Mulaney replies exactly the right way: “She does know.” He asserts not only that she’s perceiving the world accurately, but that she is an expert at something he’s not good at.

Dudes, don’t take this shit from other dudes. Mulaney isn’t by any means perfect but he aced this. Stand for the truth. Defend women’s objectivity. Promote women’s expertise.

[randomthingsthatilike1]

Doesnt his wife also work with antiques too?like. Isnt that part of her actual job?

[thechy-fychannel]

I reblog this every time because I don’t think people understand that Anna is literally an interior designer. She makes absolutely stunning Victorian Lampshades. Which she designs.. for the interior of a home… she’s literally an interior designer. She doesn’t think she’s good at it, she knows she’s good at it because it’s her fucking job

[hobbit-feels]

I look at things like this and am horridly ashamed my generation (X) made this fucker so filthy rich in the 90s.