My life is a mess

Your favourite one hit wonder I Brooklyn I 23 I bi I Canada I Check out my #og tag or whatever I

[dogpuppy]

[mephostophilis]

i think we all peaked on the 21st of october 2014

[mephostophilis]

[mephostophilis]

happy anniversary

[naamah-beherit]

There’s no one around and your phone is dead

[podcastwizard]

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

[bitchi4mwillywonka]

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[becdecorbin]

[pleaseexorciseme]

I keep getting scam calls about AI trading at work, asking for someone who actually retired years ago.

They come from different numbers every time, with about five different people who routinely call.

Because they can’t talk to the retiree, they keep trying to sell the scam to me, or try asking for a new phone number to reach him (which, obviously, I can’t give out).

They call AT LEAST once a day, and I have officially tried everything.

Last week I was alone in the office, and decided to tell them that the retiree died.

He didn’t, and it feels like bad juju, but nothing else has worked.

The first time I did this, I put on a whole show. Fake tears, sad voice, everything. The scammer was very apologetic, even said a prayer for me, and wished me well.

The second time I got a new scammer, he said sorry, then quickly tried to give his pitch to a (presumed) grieving relative who is planning a funeral.

The third time it’s a women, she said her apologies, and was very kind.

I don’t know if my fake news of the man’s death has gone around to all of their agents yet, but the calls are definitely less frequent now.

[maykitz]

[memeuplift]

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[pleaseexorciseme]

[pleaseexorciseme]

I know it’s been said but it’s so funny that Percy’s only two memories in SON are:

A) pretty girl 🦉

B) fuck you, Ares 👺

[chongoblog]

Can’t wait for, like, 2025 when we look back on the 2018/2019 era and say “hey, remember when we were all really freaking depressed? That was a crazy time! Glad we aren’t like that anymore”

[ampersketch-art]

Hey,

[chongoblog]

Don’t say anything

[scramratz]

[dostoyevsky-official]

when you say "get rid of the cursed amulet," i can't help but notice a tone of jealousy. envy, even

[powerfulkicks]

woag. fatigue is sucks. wait post canceled what the fu k

boeing????

[whitepeopletwitter]

[boycritter]

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

[glitteringobliteration]

i simply NEED for buddy dawn to come back having met helio and seen that kristen was right about him.

thinking a lot about ylfa snorgelsson’s “i met death and death wanted me to live”

vs kristen applebees’ “why is there so much suffering in the world?” being met with “catch ya later” from helio.

helio doesn’t give a fuck who lives or dies, not even his chosen one. why would he give a fuck about buddy?

i can’t help but pity him. and i can’t help but want the best for him once he returns.