Ehhhh

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”

[nottoosassy]

can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do

[seedy]

i just witnessed a boy calling a vagina a penis flytrap please set me on fire

[doubledepresso]

this was the cutest thing and also literally how i handle anyone being mad at me

[jenn-d]

I’m him in every relationship I’m in.

[minato-arisato]

does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things

[togayegi-deactivated20140809]

sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder

[skygenders]

Maple-Freedom-Tea Tumblr Posts photoset #11

Want to see more?

Scottish Photoset #9

Canadian Photoset#10

[stability]

when my kids ask where babies come from im just gonna show them this gif

[relahvant]

jesus christ

[not-safe-for-earth]

*WHEEZING*

[naanviolent]

I AM DONE WITH TUMBLR.  FUCKING DONE.  BUY A HOUSE IN ALBERTA AND STAY IN IT FOREVER AND NEVER EVER COME OUT.

[emasturbating-deactivated201309]

i already know how unpopular i am on this website i dont need a graph to tell me thanks

what do u call spaghetti in mexico

espagueti

there is no joke here im just teaching you guys spanish

[mrtestarossa]

yo soy mexicano y esto es correcto, felicidades usuario de tumblr officialunitedstates

[officialunitedstates]

yes and a feliz navidad to you as well

[sydloohoo]

"When did you decide to be gay?"

Last week. I woke up and I was like I want to be judged and not accepted by most of society and denied basic human rights. I thought it would be fun to not be allowed to get married and to be called rude names when I’m with the person I love. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?

[secreteggplantbaby]

I googled ‘knockoff mcdonalds’ and was not disappointed

[dysonairbladefan1992]

Michael Alone

[thagal-deactivated20140908]

it’s annoying because skinny girls never ride for thick or fat girls EVER, never reblog pictures of them or mention shit bout body positivity and uplifting the spirits of thick and fat girls like I never see y’all advocating for curves and extra fat on the thighs or hips or anything but when Nicki goes “Fuck skinny bitches” y’all are suddenly activists for self-image and body positivity? get gone you fakes and liars. Fuck all y’all

[oneheadtoanother]

[seblaine]

australian adverts are slowly becoming my favourite

[astranaut]

omg

[adirred]

This rivalry’s heating up.

[geometricdeathtrap-deactivated2]

*brings plastic knife to a gang fight*

Brittle, cheap plastic knives are actually pretty great weapons if you file the end down to a point, you can stab someone and then torque your wrist to shatter the plastic blade inside the wound. It’s pretty effective if you do it near a joint or in the gut as those places move a lot and cause the broken shards to shift around.

[aphkirklands-blog]

oh my god

[personalititties-deactivated201]

[betteries-deactivated20170822]

i hate when guys say shit like “why would you cut your hair? guys dont like girls with  short hair” thats like watching someone else make a sandwich for their self and saying “why are you putting tomatoes in it? i dont like tomatoes”

[deadlidynos-deactivated20171121]

Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”

"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"

Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock

[camembertlythere]

I bet that is the happiest dog

[nadiacarmel]