Show Me How to Lie

21. Indie Kid. Coffee Addict. Music Lover. Contemporary Dancer. Tattoo Enthusiast. Not-So-Secret Nerd. Burgeoning Bombshell. Self-Made Survivor.California born. Washington living.

[winemummy]

I hope the next thing I get addicted to is taking care of my self and loving my body

[voulair]

me @ the stars: help me

[perrfectly]

[lifeisourcause]

my favorite hobbies are: drinking coffee, going to get coffee, making coffee, thinking about drinking coffee, going to coffee shops, asking people to get coffee with me, drinking coffee with other people drinking coffee, talking about coffee, trying different kinds of coffee, drinking coffee out of mugs, drinking coffee out of paper cups, drinking coffee out of travel mugs, black coffee, coffee with milk and sugar, iced coffee, coffee,

[prokopetz]

Trainability in cats is a funny thing.

My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.

That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:

There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street

Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position

One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it

It was raining

One of them saw a weird bug

[hollowedskin]

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.

[blenderweaselhasopinions]

Dogs really aren’t much better.  I teach all my dogs the command “show me”.  How it works is if the dog needs something but I’m having trouble understanding what exactly they’re trying to tell me, I say “show me” and they lead me to whatever the problem is.  Usually they lead me to a real problem (like a toy that got stuck under the couch, their water bowl is empty, etc).  But sometimes they want me to fix things like this-

They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back

They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them

The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them

A flower fell off the potted plant

The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it

One of them lost their bandana

The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her

The cat DID take the toy they gave her and now they want it back

[joematar]

[the-memes-blog]

A challenger appears

[haleyincarnate]

Excerpt from the poem “Love, Audi”, featured in How To Be Happy: Not a Self-Help Book. Seriously. by Iain S. Thomas

[haunt-me-x3]

hey guys wanna see a cool trick? *mood goes from 100 to 0 back to 100 in 2 seconds* haha wanna see it again?

[affectionsuggestions]

Let’s get rid of the idea that someone has to talk to you 24/7 to like you or even love you. I know how it feels to want to talk to someone all day but life takes different turns. Patience.

[bob-belcher]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

the real takeaway from both fyre festival and the cask of amontillado is that you can lure rich people anywhere by promising them exclusive access to an expensive luxury

[emmydeactivated-deactivated2017]

[youngvlxanoes]

i need a hug and six months of sleep

[buzzfeed]

HAPPY MAY

[weavemama]

my mood for the rest of the year

[kalesbug]

Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh

[kingarkay]

@seidurs suggested i draw sharks in shirts so here they are