Personal End of the Year Reflections.
What has changed the most about you since you've come to Korea? What has changed the least?
Not everyone lives the same way. This I knew before coming to Korea. But after being in Korea, after living in Korea for almost an entire year, it has begun to sink in.ย What changed most about me is not that I discovered not everyone lives the same way, but rather to what extent we are different. That being said, what has changed the least is my sense of adventure. Walking the streets of Seoul. Seeing the marketplaces in the afternoon and taking subways and buses to places I'd never been before. A desire to learn, coupled with a sense of adventure, has allowed me to see Seoul in the most real way possible.
What was your favorite memory since coming to Korea? What do you wish you could have done?
The spiciest tteokbokki restaurant in town. A hungry group of students. Tissues and milk were a must. Tears were wept. We had decided to take the tteokbokki challenge after school one day. My Korean classmates and I sweat as we sat around the big bowl of tteokbokki, eating slowly, piece by piece. I wish I could have spent more time with my Korean friends. I wish our schedules could have matched up more often. I learn more than just language when we meet up. I see how Korean students my age act, how they react and what they think.
Where was your favorite place in Korea and why?
There is something surreal about standing in Gyeokbukgung Palace. I see in my periphery, men and women in silk robes, hanbok, pass me by. I see the hanbok of the past and the hanbok of the present passing. I like being able not only to see the magnificent palaces before me, but also the history and life of the palace in its stone pathways and wooden walls.
If you had the chance to redo your year, what would you do differently and what would you keep the same?
ย Had I the opportunity to redo this year: I would get lost more. I would walk through other neighborhoods and parks and parts of the city away from the big centers. The city is unbelievably multifaceted and seeing as much of it as I can gives me the best understanding of how the city breathes and functions. I wouldnโt worry about making mistakes in the language. It happens. Itโs part of the language learning process. They are learning opportunities! Ultimately I would keep an open mind, learning about a people and a country and a language whose views and ways of life still interest me today.
What were your first impressions of Korea? What has changed? What has stayed the same?
My first impression of Korea was โWow, this is hot. And Iโm from Florida.โ But as slept on heated floors and sat in cold classrooms and shopped at local markets and marched with Korean Buddhists, I learned that just as I have changed from t-shirts in the summer to sweaters in the fall to coats in the winter and back to sweaters in the spring, Korea is also constantly changing. Korea molds its rich past with its present and into its future.
I leave Korea with the same impression as when I first arrived, โWow, this is hot. And Iโm from Florida,โ this time knowing all that I know now.
As I reflect on all of the moments that I have been fortunate enough to experience during my stay in Korea, I now realize that picking just one of them and labeling it as โmy favorite memoryโ is an impossible task. When I first began reminiscing on all of what we have accomplished together, the obvious memorable moments were the first: visiting the DMZ, traveling to Jeonju, and so forth. But then those seemingly ordinary moments came rushing into my mind: the endless binging on GS25 (R.I.P. CUย ใ
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) delights, joking around with my Korean classmates duringย ์ฌ๋ย ์๊ฐ, riding theย ๋ง์ย bus around and getting off at the same stop because we could not afford to go to a coffee shop, and other unforgettable moments. After reliving these moments in my mind I came to realize what best part of this program was -- well, not the singular best part, but rather the eleven best parts. I came to realize that the greatest part of having the opportunity to participate in this program was getting to meet the eleven people that changed my life just as much, if not more, than actually coming to Korea. I am talking about my fellow NSLI-Yans: Kenny, Grace, Anthony, Dalia, Jordan, Mika, Elizabeth, Gadi, Allie, Eloise, and Kelsi. In my appreciation and gratitude for these past nine months together, I would like to write down and preserve some of the things that each member of our NSLI-Y family has taught me. These last nine months together have been neither easy nor perfect, but I hope you realize that you are all sincerely special to me!ย
ย From Kenny I learned (or rather was able to observe a true master in person) the art of smizing. Not only that, I also learned that help can sometimes come from unexpected sources, and that there are always people around willing to reach out a hand to those in need. On the other hand, from witnessing how Kenny dealt with his own difficulties I realized that sometimes rather than waiting for other people to help us, we instead need to work hard and help ourselves. Thanks to Elizabeth I now know the location of every single free bathroom in theย ํ๋ย area and that that no matter how many times you prank someone some people will fall for the same prank every time. But most importantly I learned from Elizabeth the true meaning of devotion and loyalty to the people we love and to our beliefs, and to not let the things that put us at a disadvantage stop us from achieving our dreams. From Allie I learned that being a girl does not mean you are not tough (I would like to extend and ouch for all of those kicks and punches haha), that being tough does not mean that you are not kind, and that being young does not mean that you cannot have big dreams and goals. From Jordan I learned the principles of โshuiabashuiaโ, a saying that became a sort of motto for us this year. From Jordan I also witnessed firsthand what hard work and dedication truly is. I have received innumerable valuable advice from Jordan throughout this program. Also, because of Jordan I have a new found interest in linguistics. From Eloise I learned that you do not have to be a person of many words to be loved by those around you, which I genuinely feel is the lesson that I needed to learn the most coming into the NSLI-Y program. Eloise also taught me ways to coexist more peacefully with others. (One thing that I did not learn from Eloise, however, is how to take a selfieย ใ
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) From Mika I learned what true honesty really means, and I do not think that I have met someone who is more honest than Mika. I also learned how to have a good time regardless of where you are or what situation you are in--I just wanted to thank you for all of the memories that we were able to make together on this program! I learned so many things from Grace that I do not believe I would be able to fit them all into this reflection, so I will only mention the lesson I treasure the most. Since before we even met, I learned that there is no difficulty that we can possible face in our lives that we cannot overcome, regardless of all of the negativity trying to weigh us down. From Grace I learned what it means to be adventurous and what true bravery is. From Kelsi I learned that it is possible to achieve everything we set our minds to and to not take any opportunity that we receive for granted. Kelsi taught me this lesson in the way that she thoughtfully and meticulously sought to experience as many new things as she could as well as improve in the activities she already had a passion for. Not only did Kelsi achieve countless goals during her stay in Korea she did so humbly, and for this she is an admirable person. From Anthony I learned what hard work and being passionate truly is. Day in and day out, Anthony worked hard to learn Korean staying after class and doing extra work to improve his ability, all on his own accord. He also made me realize the beauty of having the power to communicate with as many people around the world as possible and that learning a language is more than just hobby, it is a gift. From Gadi I learned what it means to be genuinely concerned not only for those who are the closest to us, but for all of the people who surround us. I also truly admire Gadi for his ability to reach out and complete any task regardless of its difficulty, as well as his ability to communicate with other people in any setting without hesitation. From Dalia I learned several lessons, one of the most valuable being to do what is right, not what is easy. Having had the opportunity to get close to Dalia I came to realize that she possesses a pure conscience and a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong. The most admirable thing about this trait is that Dalia possesses the amazing ability to act on this sense of justice, something very few other people can honestly say they do. Besides this, I learned of the kindness of baristas, the solution to world peace (the manufacturing and distribution of Javiers) and on a more serious note, the true meaning of friendship.
One of my regrets that I will leave Korea with, is not exploring the area where I lived enough. It took one wrong bus ride to totally open me up to a side of Korea and Seoul that I had not realized existed. Itโs very easy to not see a lot of Seoul. You go to school in the same place everyday, you go to Korean class 3 times a week and between juggling time for studying, host family and friends you donโt end up with a lot of time to expand out in other ways. The schedule can easily become a rigid routine. I managed to see tourist spots on the weekends and see important landmarks but it still felt like I wasnโt seeing a lot of Korea and slowly, by December my idea of what Seoul was had become very narrow. On a Friday night after going to the gym, I decided to try a different way home and see if a bus could get me anywhere near where I live. I lived in a small city in Gyeongi-do called Gwangmyeong and really didnโt know much about it except for my apartment complex. This made me think that my city was actually quite small and any bus that said it went to Gwangmyeong, had to go near my apartment right? Very wrong. When I got off the bus I couldnโt even believe where I was. It was Gwangmyeong but it was such a different side than I had even expected. There were shopping areas and malls and tons of students my age out with their friends. I remember that memory vividly, it felt as if I was a child being exposed to an entirely different world because it simply did not match my expectations in any way. I continued to crush expectations like this throughout the year and each one of those experiences have easily become my favorite. They helped me realize and appreciate the time Iโve had on this program to learn about Korea as a citizen and not as a tourist. ย ย ย ย
I believe what has changed the most, was me being independent. ย Even, though Im in a different environment, I depended on myself to do stuff on my time and with the little linguistic skills I had. I learned to do a lot of stuff on my own which gave more character to my personality.ย
What has changed least of me, is being kind toward others. Because this has changed least, I've created so many friendships and relationships that are like family. Being kind helped me out a lot with meeting others and actually have a thought conversation.
โOh no. Whatever you do, just please donโt take a picture.โ Despite our collective protests, all twelve of us clothed in our painfully stylish matching shirts were herded by our then unfamiliar RD (So-hyoon? So-hyuโฆ?) to take a group photo in upon our arrival in Incheon International Airport. We had just met 48 hours ago and were now showing sides of ourselves we would prefer not to show to even our close friends. โIโm sorry you have to stand next to me, I havenโt showered in 24 hours and I just endured the longest flight of my lifeโ and other similar apologies were said. From this point, we were first exposed to Korea. Unfortunately, vision clouded by exhaustion combined with the particularly gloomy and humid weather that day did not make for an exactly wonderful first impression of Korea. ํ๋ was at first an enigma--some streets seemed exactly the same and yet you take a wrong turn and you end up in what could be another city, making getting lost (which we did) inevitable. We were later separated for the first time since our first meeting and thrown into our respective host families. The complete inability to communicate combined with initial culture shock made us all slightly less emotionally stable than normal. At this time, I could be reduced to tears with a few words from my host brother, Kim Taewoo. โDo you know cocker spaniel?โ The familiar line is said yet again, Elizabeth bursts into tears. We were forced to endure the humiliation of a first interview in Korean (just say ๋ชฐ๋ผ์, youโll be okay) with two incredibly glamorous women (why was it necessary to hire models for this job? Weโre already intimidated enough as is!) and then being put into Korean classes, the first two weeks of which were far harder than any high school course (at least in high school you understand what the teacher is saying when she assigns homework).
Gone are the timid foreign girls at ๋ฐ๋ฌธ์ฌ๊ณ who would feign sleep to avoid having to speak during class, they have been replaced by ๊ตํํ์ who sing ์๋
์๋ at the front of the class or stand on desks waving American and Korean flags. It is not with tears that I respond to Kim Taewooโs perpetual English phrases, but rather with a light punch. I donโt call her ์๋ง because that is how I have been taught, but because that is what she is to me. While I still completely lack a sense of direction (not entirely a bad thing, some things can only be found by getting lost), the streets of ํ๋ are now more familiar to me than any others in the world. Our wise ์ ์๋ has become a mentor, a second mother, a friend--teaching us as much about life as she has about Korean grammatical patterns. Amidst the frequent changes in our environment (host families, classes, weather etc) the NSLI-Yans were really the only things in our lives that remained constant. A reassuring presence, the familiar and unforgettable eleven faces, a source of strength and support through the most difficult of times, always blurring the lines between friendship and family.ย
I am constantly grateful that I have been able to participate in this program--to have been pushed headfirst without a lifevest into the ๋ํ๋ฏผ๊ตญ; to have been forced to face the unknown, the unpleasant, and the painful; to have met such unforgettable people whose words and actions will remain with me as we move onward.
What has changed the most about you since youโve come to Korea? What has changed the least?
Upon coming to Korea, I was perfectly happy with who I was. I was bursting with confidence and had the bold sense of adventure which even today drives me to experience new things and see the world. After the first few months, perhaps half of the way through our NSLI-Y program, I discovered just how naรฏve I was. Not in a bad way, exactly, but there was so much I didnโt know about this entirely new culture and some of it came to me as a surprise. Through dealing with different situations and going about my day-to-day life in Seoul Iโve discovered my own need for independence (my moment of enlightenment) as well as a much more realistic perspective of the life I have been living up until this point. I realized that I had been taking my home for granted in addition to my culture, and now I believe that I have developed a much deeper appreciation for where I come from.ย What I am most grateful are the people that I have met along my journey as it is their influence that has helped me shape my ambitions for the future. Despite these changes, I have never stopped craving trying new things and will continue to work towards my goals guided in part by the knowledge that I have acquired since my arrival.ย
Korea... Koreeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa......... There's too much to say and so little time to say it. So much has changed. So much has been learned. When I talk about when I first came to Korea, it's hard to stress just how much I didn't know. It was like being born into the world as a one-day old baby, except instead of knowing nothing about the world you think you know everything about a world that is no longer relevant. It's much harder to get over your ignorance that way -- babies have it easy. I've changed in so many ways since coming to Korea, usually so gradually that I don't even notice until one day I look up and realize that something I once considered unusual I now can't imagine any other way. It seeps into you, Korea. Originally a rather independent person, even by American standards, I think I've internalized Korea's community-mindedness and come to appreciate its benefits. I still need alone time occasionally but more often than not find myself craving the comfort of other people, even if we're doing nothing but looking at our smartphones while sitting in the same vicinity. It's hard to pinpoint a favorite memory, but usually the moments I remember most fondly are of that sort -- ostensibly not the most exciting, but comfortable and warm just because of the people I spent them with. I will miss the cafe conversations, the lazy days at the ์ฐ์ง๋ฐฉ, the long bus rides together across the country, getting lost in unknown neighborhoods. The sunlit afternoons filled with the laughter and ์ด์ ์๋ jokes of my Korean classmates, girls who I have come to love and will miss dearly in the months to come. If I had to do it all again, I would still do it just like this. There's nothing I would change -- regardless of my mistakes, the whole year has been such a learning process that to change anything would be to deny how much I've grown from having made them. Korea, land of the morning calm: I came, I saw, I loved. And in time, I promise you, I will come again.
If I had the chance to redo this year, I definitely would have tried harder to speak in only Korean to my family and classmates. I realized that, especially in the beginning of the year, I used English as a crutch. If I had pushed myself harder to speak in only Korean I think my experience would have been more immersive. Thankfully, I eventually realized the importance of communicating with the people of a country in their native language, because language is the best gateway to another culture. However, I wouldn't change the relationships I've cultivated the past year. I've made a lot connections here, so while I may leave Korea, a part of me will be lefr behind with the people I've met.ย
Where was your favorite place in Korea and Why?
In the two story villa that my host family occupies there is a perfectly aduequate dinning area. Unfortunately,ย
excluding the occasionalย midnightย chicken "snack time," I have never had a meal here.Rather, every breakfast,ย
lunch, and dinner is eaten outside our house in the family store. In the middle of the restaurant that my hostย
family runs is sturdy wooden table complimented with five metal chairs. At every meal our family sits aroundย
this table with my ์๋น at the head. To his right sits my ์๋ง, and to his left is the "ํฐ ๋ธ" seat - my seat. Itย
was in this spot that I spoke my first full coherent Korean sentence "๋ฐฐ๋ถ๋ฌ์", began my dangerouos love affairย
with ๋ง๋, and refused ์์ฃผ from all the relatives who came to visit. Without moving from this single chair Iย
became acquainted with my neighbors who also happen to own their own restaurants in the neighborhood and be very
close friends with my host-family. The more they saw me sitting at the chair every time they came to greet myย
์๋น , the more they fed me with their food and senseless jokes about Texan cowboys. I inevitably gained weightย
and learned to greet them with my own jokes; I said, "์๋
ํ์ธ์? ์์ ์์ ์จ, ๋ผ์ง ์์ ์จ, ๊น๋ฐฅ ์์ ์จ, and ์นํจ ์์ ์จ. Atย
this seat at the left of my ์๋น , I am not only part of the family as the eldest adopted daughter, but also theย
neighborhood. ์ฌ๊ธฐ์ผ๋ง๋ก ๋์ ์ ์ผ ์ข์ํ๋ ๊ณณ์ด๋ค.
If I could redo my year, I definitely wouldn't have spent so many of my days off just sitting at home. Time flew by way faster than I thought it would and the days I sat around at home could have been so much more. Although it feels like I've wasted quite a bit of my opportunities, I still would never change any of the experiences that I did have when I actually put in the effort to get ready, commute, and go out. Those days will forever be some of the best memories of my lifetime and I wish I could have made more of them. As much as I regret that, there's still so many more things to see and so much more to do that I don't have time to sit around in remorse! On to the next adventure!
์ํ์ค laughs when I tell her my favorite place in Korea is Jemulpo. I mean, all things considered, it does seem like a bizarre choice. What is there here? We don't have places to shop or any must-see sites, nor is it on any list of must-visit destinations in Korea travel guides. To me, however, it's special. Jemulpo is the place where I've had many of my most memorable experiences in Korea; it is such a constant in my life here that it feels like in some small way it has become a part of me. One particularly prominent experience happened just a few months ago. I was waiting at the bank outside Jemulpo station for my fellow Bakmunite, Elizabeth, to return from the bathroom when I saw an old policeman calling me over to the police kiosk. Naturally, my immediate thought was that I was about to be arrested and would have to spend the rest of my life on the run, living outside the law (this same policeman had earlier witnessed me physically abusing the aforementioned Elizabeth Maxey). So you can imagine my surprise when instead of handcuffs, he pulled out his cellphone from his pocket and began scrolling through his music. Elizabeth had returned by this time, and had curiously wandered over to join us. Without being quite sure of how it had happened, we found ourselves part of an impromptu singing fest, the man proudly belting at the top of his lungs "I am a woman in love!" in a thick Korean accent. It may not seem like much, but I think fair few people can claim to have sung "Dancing Queen" with an aging policeman in Jemulpo, and I know it is something I will never forget. What I am trying to say is this: trite as it may be, the things you'll remember from Korea aren't the grand palaces or pristine museum, but the small moments. Be open to all the opportunities around you and beware of clones. ย ย ย
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