rickfucker

[numbbutbleeding]

Intro:

15 turning 16 ftm, gay, and ambiamorous

Posting about my coming and going 3d, shitty gay crushes, and whatever is on my mind.

I love Rick and Morty, House md, DC, and other shit.

[numbbutbleeding]

Low-key feel like a wannarexic some days because while my mind screams at me to not eat and calls me a fat pig to the point I'm gagging at the thought of food I still shove shit down my throat. And also the scale isn't going down that fast. Maybe when I reach 150 I feel a little less like a wannarexic

[groovyalmondgirl]

I forgot how good it feels to fast ⭐️

[numbbutbleeding]

No bc no one is questioning it since I'm saying I'm doing it for focus reasons because of finals and keep saying "in science and personal experiences it says fasting makes you more alert and focus easier" HAH! like that's the reason I fast lol.

[numbbutbleeding]

Please if anyone knows any pro ana sites please give me a link!!! Or any keywords to be able to find them, all I can find is stupid articles saying "no don't do that to yourself!"

[numbbutbleeding]

So I grow out my nails a little to make painting them easier because the shorter they are the harder they are to paint but it also makes a fun click clack noise when I type and I absolutely love that noise and I love having longish nails even though I'm a boy because this is so much fun.

Click clack click clack click clack click clack

[numbbutbleeding]

Sometimes I want a guy to call me a good boy for the most random mundane things. Like yes I'm your good boy for drinking water, yes I'm a good boy for not holding it in and going to the bathroom, yes I'm a good boy for letting someone else finish their sentence before speaking.

Gods I just want to be called a good boy

[numbbutbleeding]

Bro just tell me if you don't want to date at all, don't fucking lead me on with this "we're friends with benefits but also a situationship" shit. I can handle a hard no but when you keep going "I dunno" then turning around and making multiple sexual advances to me what else am I supposed to do? Like I want to get out in the dating world but most people don't want someone who's in a kinda situationship with their friend while also not but I'm holding out for the possibility that he'll take me back but dw, I'm into poly relationships so I'm not going to dump you.

I'm fine if we don't end up together I just need to know if my chance is gone or not because if it is I'm going to start putting myself out there again but I'm not going to unless I have confirmation that whatever is going on here is not actually going to happen.

[numbbutbleeding]

Whoever invented PTSD I hope you're rotting in hell

[numbbutbleeding]

Just begged my crush to call me a slur and tell me to kms

Gods I'm pathetic

[numbbutbleeding]

Yesterday I told myself I would fast for a week if I didn't drop to 228 and this morning when I woke up I dropped to 227. Ana for the win.

[numbbutbleeding]

Fasted for 22 hours, lost three pounds, ate 127 calories and gained a pound.

Make that make sense.

[numbbutbleeding]

I hate people who think just because something is harder or doesn't happen in their state means it can't happen. Yes I can get a job now legally (but my guardian won't let me) sure it's harder but it's possible.

I also hate people who are the opposite thinking, "everything is possible if you just try hard enough!" Because so Sarah, I cannot "use physical therapy to get rid of my pain".

[numbbutbleeding]

Gut nuked, wtf? New blog old one was numbandbleeding