The world was spinning, everything was pink, and Vox was about five minutes away from throwing up.
His internal fans whirred, bringing his systems online one by one. Visual, audio, output, memory... the last one stuttered while booting up, failing to locate the misplaced files.
Fuck, how much did he have to drink last night?
His gurgling stomach warned him not to think about it too much, he was paying for it either way. The likelihood of him throwing up in the next four and a half minutes increased from 75 to 84 percent.
He groaned, rubbing his screen with the palms of his hands. His bleary eyes opened and blinked in confusion, staring up at the gauzy curtains that draped the unfamiliar heart shaped bed.
This was NOT his bed.
Where the hell did they end up last night, some cheap love motel? He lifted his TV head slightly, wincing at the pounding sensation that intensified. Yeah, he definitely overdid it this time. He usually prided himself on being one of the few demons that could keep up with Alastor's impressive capacity for drinking, but right about now, he was only feeling regret.
As he fully sat up in bed, he stretched his arms and yawned loudly, joints popping. Was it too much to hope for room service? Or, at the very least, an espresso machine? How bad would the pancakes be in a place like this?
As he pondered breakfast, a low grumble came from underneath the covers, as the huddled mass within began to stir. He turned his TV head and lovingly patted the lump beside him.
"Good morning, bambi," he said, voice still rough from sleep.
"Morning, papi," came the muffled reply.
Vox's brows furrowed, screen glitching in confusion, and he peeled a section of the sheets back. His eyes widened to a comical size as he was greeted by the sight of his business partner laid bare, without a single stitch of clothing on.
His eyes darted downwards and he realized, in abject horror, that he matched. With a garbled screech, he yanked the rest of the blanket away from the moth and wrapped it around his own body in a panicked rush, screen flushing a bright cyan.
Valentino made an offended sound, plush wings unfurling before quickly wrapping around his body like a robe.
"Hey! I was using that, asshole." He grumbled, cracking one red eye open to glare at Vox.
What the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK...
Vox was dimly aware of his systems overheating as his brain struggled to fully process the sequence of events that led him here. He remembered going out with Alastor last night, drinking and laughing, stumbling back to their shared apartment... at no point was Valentino ever involved in the equation.
He took a moment to try and calm down and refocus, concentrating hard on keeping his breathing steady.
"Val, what the hell happened last night?" He asked slowly. "Where am I? What did we do?"
"Whoa, calm down, you're safe, amor." Val sat up and gave a languid stretch, yawning. He plucked his heart shaped glasses from the night stand and adjusted them on his face, then gave Vox a flirty wink. "We just took your new body for a test drive last night, that's all."
"We did what?" Vox squeaked, eyes widening in horror.
"Oh, you want me to spell it out for you? Fine, we did the devil's tango, rode the bony pony, danced the horizontal bop, slipped the sausage... and I have to say, Voxxy, your new body is definitely an upgrade, although I still have some suggestions..."
"Are you telling me... we had sex?" Vox interrupted, voice crackling with static interference.
Valentino grinned, gold tooth glinting. "I don't know, do sharks shit in the ocean?"
There was a small popping noise from Vox's antennae, followed immediately by an enormous burst of electricity as his screen glowed bright.
"FuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUU--!"
The audio stuttered, then cut out abruptly as Vox's volume reached a deafening level. Valentino made a face, one set of arms raised to clap his hands over his own fluffy antennae while the other set crossed themselves in irritation.
"Okay, wow, babe. The yelling is really not helping my hangover here." He snapped.
He raised an eyebrow as he observed Vox's expressions quickly glitch through a rapid combination of anger, disgust, and confusion, before the TV demon abruptly leaned over the edge of the bed and threw up, the contents of his stomach spilling out in a bright technicolor wave.
Valentino sighed, then leaned over to retrieve his phone from the bedside table. He speed dialed housekeeping, an unimpressed look plastered on his face as he watched Vox continue to retch.
"Oh, that's definitely going to stain."
xxx
As the maid left the room, a soiled trash bag and cleaning bottle in hand, Valentino lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. He exhaled a cloud of pink smoke, then glanced over at the shaking TV demon, still huddled in the blanket. Vox had his screen resting in his hands, body hunched over as he sat on the edge of the bed, eyes brimming with digital tears.
"I can't believe this. This isn't happening. I don't-- I can't even remember what happened last night..." he mumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. His mind raced, desperately trying to locate the missing memory files. There had to be an explanation for this, there was no way he would ever cheat on his husband... right?
Valentino rolled his eyes, leaning back against the cushy pink pillows. "I mean, you were pretty drunk, but I didn't think you were like, blackout drunk."
Vox dragged his hands down his screen, groaning. It was useless, he would need to reboot his entire system and update the memory banks. And even then, he wasn't entirely sure if it would work.
"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Al." He muttered. How could he tell his husband of 60 years that not only did he cheat on him, but he didn't even remember doing it? The thought made him nauseous again, and his stomach gurgled.
"Huh?" Valentino asked, brows creasing in confusion.
Vox gave a frustrated growl, screen rotating backwards to glare directly at Valentino.
"How am I going to explain this--" he gestured pointedly to Valentino, the bed, and himself, "--to Alastor?!"
Valentino hissed, back stiffening as he pointed a furious finger at Vox. "Hey! That name is banned here, you know the rule! This is a sacred space! I swear, if you start mumbling about him in your sleep again, I might actually murder your ass for real."
Vox's screen rotated forward again and his hands gripped the top of his head, claws digging into the casing. "He's going to kill me. And then he's probably going to kill you, too. Do you even understand how serious this is?!"
Valentino scoffed, blowing a puff of pink smoke towards the ceiling.
"Pfft, I'm not scared of that decrepit old man. It would be like fighting my abuelo. Probably easier, my abuelo was a mean old bastard." He chuckled, nudging Vox playfully. When he didn't respond, he blinked twice, then heaved an exasperated sigh. "I don't know why your panties are in such a twist, what makes you think he would even give a shit if we slept together?"
There was a brief screech of static, then Vox tilted his head to fix Valentino with an expression of utter disbelief.
"Are you insane, or just stupid?" Vox asked sharply.
Valentino gave a bitter laugh, throwing his head back.
"That's so funny! You know what's insane? Caring so much about someone who doesn't give a single shit about you. You know what's stupid? Letting yourself be manipulated by an actual pyschopath for years, just to keep coming back to ask for more. I'm so goddamn sick of it."
Electricity prickled over Vox's entire body as he rose from the bed, turning towards Valentino. His screen had darkened, hypnotic eye starting to spin.
"You don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about." His voice was dangerously low, rumbling with an undercurrent of static.
Valentino's eyes narrowed as he flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette.
"Oh, that's where you're wrong, babe. I know there's history between you two, but if you would just LOOK at what's right in FRONT of you--" he gestured to himself. "Then maybe you'd get over him and finally realize that he's your past but I'm your future."
"ENOUGH. Get the fuck out, Val. Now." Vox snarled, his hands balled into fists as arcs of electricity jumped off his antennae.
Valentino scoffed, taking another long drag from his cigarette. A savage grin stretched across his face as he blew a heart shaped puff of smoke in Vox's direction.
"You're actually in MY room, Voxxy. So, don't let the door hit your shiny new ass on the way out."
xxx
Vox scrambled to gather every item of discarded clothing, wearing only an old threadbare robe as he completed his personalized scavenger hunt. Pants, shirt, shoes, jacket... now he was just missing... wait, where the hell was his underwear? He rummaged around the room, searching high and low, before he glimpsed the edge of his Voxers peeking out from underneath a couch cushion.
Vox scurried over to retrieve the item and then jumped about ten feet, startled by the large lump of pink fluff that had taken up residence there. He had initially mistaken it for a bundled up blanket at first, but then he realized it was quietly snoring.
"What the fuck is THAT?" He hissed loudly, recoiling in disgust.
Valentino's muffled voice came from the other room.
"Don't be so RUDE, you know he's been crashing here. Just make sure he's turned on his side and keep your freaky wires to yourself. I might play with him later..."
Vox hesitated, then leaned closer, examining the pink shape on the couch. Upon closer inspection, he could identify the sinner as a fluffy arachnid of some sort, with two sets of arms wrapped around a monstrously ugly plushie. His long legs were crunched underneath him, condensing his body into a tight ball. Vox located what he thought was the sinner's head, though it was currently smushed face down into the couch pillows. He prodded the sleeping lump gently, trying to coax him to shift his body sideways and away from the cushion that pinned his underwear.
Unfortunately, he began to stir with a pitiful groan, eyes fluttering open and squinting in the morning light. Vox quickly switched on his friendliest face, raised a hand in greeting and--
The sinner immediately screamed, eyes widening in horror as he scrambled against the couch to get further away from Vox.
"WHOA, whoa, I'm not gonna hurt you! Wait, please-- please stop screaming. I won't hurt you, okay?" Vox pleaded, hands held up in defense.
The sinner stopped screaming and shot him the dirtiest look he had ever received in his life.
"Ain't gonna hurt me, now that's a joke... That's all ya know how to do, asshole. You and the rest of the Vees." He spat.
Vox blinked, completely caught off guard. Did he have him confused with someone else? Was there some other TV headed demon that was running around, pissing off pink spiders? He might need to investigate that, later.
"I'm... sorry?" He said awkwardly.
The sinner scoffed, crossing both sets of arms.
"You're not fuckin' sorry! Don't start that shit now, 'cause it ain't gonna help. Not after everything you did."
Vox was speechless, screen flickering as he tried to process the information. "Look, I am sorry for whatever I did to you, but could you just, uh, lean that way? Just for a second."
The sinner hesitated, then scooted to the side, and Vox hastily snatched the underwear from under the cushion. He stepped backwards immediately as the sinner gave him a suspicious glare.
"Thanks, um... what's your name?"
The sinner stared at him like he had three heads. "I'm Angel... We've met like, a million times. Prob'ly more. You remember me, right? Did ya... hit your noggin or somethin'?"
"He's been acting like an idiot since he woke up, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with him." Valentino leaned in the bedroom doorway, watching the scene unfold with a critical eye.
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Vox shouted, screen burning with embarrassment.
"Mmhm, sure, babe. That's why you keep obsessing over that stupid deer, even after he ruined your life."
"Stop talking about him like that!" Vox snapped. "Everything was GREAT until last night, now I'm about to lose everything because of you."
Valentino and Angel exchanged a look, then the moth shook his head and sauntered into the bathroom. The lock clicked, and they heard the sound of a shower being turned on. Vox turned back to Angel, brows furrowed.
"Look, I need some help. I need to get out of here to find the radio demon. As soon as possible."
Angel barked an incredulous laugh, eyes widening. "Are you fuckin' serious? After everything you've done?!"
"Yes, I'm serious," Vox said firmly. "I need to fix this and apologize for... everything. I think he already knows, he's not picking up on my signal and I can't ping his location without my ring."
"I'm pretty sure he's ignorin' you on purpose." Angel said flatly. "You kinda fucked up, big time. Like, life ruining levels of fucked up." His gaze drifted as he picked at his nails, seemingly lost in thought.
Vox made a frustrated noise, vents hissing out a puff of hot air. "I KNOW that, okay? Like I said, that's why I need to find him. Are you going to help or not?"
Angel shot him a withering stare, mouth fixed in a taut line.
Vox shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the right words. "If you can do anything to help me find him, I would owe you. Big time. Think about it, a favor from an overlord! That's gotta be worth something, right?"
Angel chuckled at that, rolling his eyes. "No offense, but your favors ain't worth much at this point. Listen, I shouldn't even bother helping ya, I mean, you've been a total dick to me since the moment we met. But if you're really tryin' to change..." Angel huffed a sigh, crossing his legs and both sets of arms in resignation.
"Shit, I guess Charlie's rubbin' off on me, after all. I mean, if you're really tryin' to apologize... he's prob'ly still hangin' around the hotel. But I really don't think--"
Vox's screen immediately brightened, his back straightening to attention.
"Which hotel?"
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Yayyy Reboot has finally returned 🥳 I really missed writing for this story and was excited to take this big turn, I know some people were hoping we would get to see how hubby!vox was doing so here he is! He's having absolutely the bestest time ever! (NOT)
Please feel free to comment if you liked this update, I always love hearing from you guys! Thank you so much for reading 🩵❤️
Because I love them so much P2 of my entry for murdermediaweek2026 Day 6: Partners in crime 🫶🔪
Pls don't mind that Alastor suddenly grew a beard. 🤣 I want to try out different styles and versions of my Hazbin Hotel fanart. Someday, I'll probably settle on one style. 👀 I think it's gonna be more the cartoony look instead of anime 😆
Also, also Alastor persuaded Vincent NOT to shoot both of them, so now they're in prison 😭 but not for long 🤫
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