Ħ e α r τ l e s s

"And then the moon, like to a silver bow new bent in Heaven;The power of the storm. And the beasts of the earth;" La Fidèle TT: nxtyourtrinket THOND indie Madellaine. nsfw heavy. please read rules.

[disneycollective]

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disneycollective:

Top 20 Friendships (as voted by my followers)

17. Esmerelda & Quasimodo

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"There's an art to life's distractions"

“I don't...understand.”

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Hozier Lyrics Starter Sentences

"My lover's got humor."

"She's a giggle at a funeral."

"Should've worshiped her sooner."

"We were born sick, you heard them say it"

"She tells me 'worship in the bedroom.'"

"The only heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you"

"I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"

"Offer me that deathless death."

"Let me give you my life."

"My lover's the sunlight."

"There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin."

"Wonder if better now having survived"

"No other version of me I would rather be tonight"

"So deep in this swill with the most familiar of swine"

"It would be great to find a place we could escape sometime"

"She found me just in time"

"'Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done"

"I need to be youthfully felt"

"God, I never felt young"

"She's gonna save me"

"Call me baby "

"Happy to lie back"

"You knew who I was every step that I ran to you"

"Would things be easier if there was a right way?"

"Honey, there is no right way."

"There's an art to life's distractions"

"Love with every stranger, the stranger the better"

"All I've ever done is hide"

"But you don't know what hell you put me through"

"I know that you hate this place"

"It feels good"

"Oh to be alone with you"

"Honey, we should run away"

"Get closer to me"

"Idealism sits in prison"

"Chivalry fell on it's sword"

"Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, I should know"

"I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door"

"Oh what a sin"

"I'll be home with you"

"I have never known color like this morning reveals to me"

"Something isn't right, babe"

"So we're slaves to any semblance of touch"

"Lord we should quit but we love it too much"

"Won't you come and save me from it?"

"You're supposed to drag me away from it"

"Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?"

"I'm so full of love I could barely eat"

"I didn't care much how long I lived"

"She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

"Heaven and hell were words to me"

"I will not ask you where you came from"

"I will not ask, and neither should you"

"Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips"

"We should just kiss like real people do"

"I know who I am when I'm alone"

"I'm something else when I see you"

"You don't understand, you should never know"

"How easy you are to need"

"Don't be kind to me"

"I will come back"

"It's a kindness you can't afford"

"I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born"

"You'll hear me howling outside your door"

"Don't you hear me howling babe?"

"I've no language left to say it"

"All that I've been taught, and every word I've got, is foreign to me"

"It looks ugly, but it's clean"

"The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine"

"Open hand or closed fist would be fine"

"The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine"

"I called your name 'til the fever broke."

"The night so black that the darkness hummed"

"I heard a scream in the woods somewhere"

"What caused the wound?"

"My dearest love I'm not done yet"

"Rare is this love, keep it covered"

"All you have is your fire and the place you need to reach"

"Don't you ever tame your demons- always keep 'em on a leash"

"You've done me wrong for a long, long time"

"But after all you've done, I never changed my mind"

"Try to love me"

"My love will never die"

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I have to take a shower. I owe replies to cherise, I think. I'll get to them after I come back. Going out for today.

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toobtainanimmortalsoul

 { x }

She placed her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “River listen to me, this is never going to be your fault. Never.” Ariel understood that in his final days of desperation, one of this finals acts was to use his own daughter. That was something she could not forgive Cornelius for. All Ariel wanted was for River to be safe.”This is not your fault.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead. “I love you, River. This is not your fault.”

She still felt as if it was all her fault. That was the one thing that played over in her head when she heard or even saw the bruises on her mom's arms. River blamed herself. And she blamed the man who was hurting her mother. She wanted her mother to be safe and she wasn't sure why she even wanted to save her River was in  a better place than she was. “it's...” River cried in her mother's embrace. “ma...mi...” River gripped her mother's arms, “I just want you...back...I want my mom...”

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grumblygardens:

Cherise shook her head and woefully pulled out the ultrasound picture from her bag. She handed it over to River and shook her head. “No matter how many times i tell myself that’s just a fetus…it looks like a baby to me. That’s a baby. That’s already a baby. It has a heartbeat… I already have morning sickness. I’ve had babies before. This is pregnancy…and this is a baby…” “It’s not because I was raped, River. I…I want that known… I believe, deep down, that Kevin was just as much of a victim as I was. I don’t think he willingly hurt me. I think that all of these events seem too carefully planned out…” Her eyes widened and she stared at River. The tears would have dried on her cheeks from the sheer shock. The more she heard, the more she was certain things were all done for a purpose. “R-River… Listen to me, please. No this isn’t just about me or just you. It’s about all of us. It’s about Adrian and Tris. It’s a damned game. Your father, Kevin, was supposed to get out of the way to bring in Adrian because he’s more easily manipulated. It’s like this disgusting living chess game and Gothel is involved…I…I was scared when I first found out I was pregnant. I was afraid of offending your mother because I was carrying this child. In my addled state I asked Oberon for help and the first person he sent me to was that woman, Vera. Gothel… River…” This is her half sibling. She deserves justice. They all deserve justice. This is your family, Cherise. “It’s possible that this was planned for some time ago, River… Call me a little crazy, but maybe someone was plotting Kevin’s death since he rediscovered his brothers. I’m just a pawn… That’s…just it. To the fairies, I’m a sprite. I’m worth nothing. Since I stopped singing, I’m worth nothing… River, we have to be strong. I can’t physically fight this. I can only try to put the puzzle pieces together… We need to get Adrian’s memories back and we have to stop this wedding. We have to fix it… I just don’t know how we can do this while protecting your mother. She’s an incredibly strong woman, but…I don’t know how to do this…” With a rattling cough, she looked down at her stomach and let out a weak sigh. “…You deserve better for when you’re born… And so does your little brother or sister in here. Right?”

It didn't make any sense to her, Cherise said she saw a baby and the words before that were so negative and hostile. It wasn't because of what had happened, it was all just too confusing. River knew she was being a burden and that she was acting like a child. Every moment she was talking was a regret now. “..willingly, he didn't willingly do it but it was still his face. It was done with his ...person suit...and that's what everyone here is going to know. Not that he didn't want to do it but that he did.” She smacked her lips , though that did very little.

“it just doesn't make sense why...Kevin always did everything they wanted. He followed along like a good little puppet. He did it...why use ..go through everyone to get rid of the one person who was doing as they wanted? I don't understand...Adrian isn't even liked, because he's not aesthetically beautiful as the fae are supposed to be...” Everything was just so mixed up in her head. She was not putting any of the information together.

She furrowed her brows, “All of this happening is like they are making us choose. Who are you going to save? Who are you going to help? It's like they are trying to keep certain people away or something with distractions and I hate calling what they're doing to Adrian a distraction because he's getting hurt....We all deserve better...”

That was her half brother or sister but she was still so confused about everything. She loved Cherise and so River would pretend anything to make her happy. Even if it hurt, though she barely understood why. All she kept thinking about was her mother and wondering about how Ariel felt about this. River didn't want to make a choice about anything anymore. She would do anything to go back and be a little girl and pretend she didn't hear half of what was going on. River had the idea of just sitting somewhere and holding her legs rocking back and forth until she was where she was supposed to be. “...yeah.”

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It's 5:40 am so I should get a little sleep before heading out in a bit. Have a good morning guys!

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grumblygardens:

“Shhhh. I know…I…I heard. I heard. I’ve already had my words out… C’mere… My feelings about this have nothing to do with Kevin or who you are… It’s this entire situation and how it’s ruined so many lives. Like your life. It’s so hard to think of this as a life when I know you’re hurting and your mother is hurting… When I know that someone close to us died. When Adrian is being used like a pawn…and it’s nobody’s fault…” The tears came again. She felt ashamed of herself. River didn’t need to hear anymore terrible things. She needed support and understanding. To lose everything once and then again. “I don’t suppose you’d want a hug from me after I said that towards my own child, but…sit with me. You have…every right to be angry with this. I’m infuriated! I’m…I’m…I can’t make sense of it. I’m so…angry! Angry for you! Angry that they keep taking from you! Why?! My god, it was enough before!” Tears poured down her face. “I’m sorry, River… I’m so sorry, shhh… I know. I know, he told me. I don’t know how to fix this. And…and you’ll be born soon… Now I don’t know how to stop things to protect you. I just want to protect you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have your child back.” She wiped the tears from her face, then looked at River with grief and pain weighing down on her. She made a weakened noise, then wiped her eyes on her sleeves. “I can’t even get close enough to Tabitha to question her on how to fix it… I… I doubt true love’s kiss will wake him up from all of this. I don’t know.”

She came there because Gothel had wanted her to, but it turned into River trying to figure out where she had come from. She learned who her mother was only because Gothel let her know that much and River had to guess about her father. All the horrible things Cornelius did, each and every one of them made her question a lot about herself. If she was just a monster like him, and could she do all of things. The name that Vera gave her was that of a villain, in two stories, one in Arthur's and the other in her older sister's tale.

This wasn't about her. This was about Cherise. “It's not a baby, yet. Or a child, right now it's this little thing. Something but it's not a baby...I know you hate what happened to you. And that you're angry about that and what my father did to you.” That hurt, saying that he did that to her but what hurt more was calling him father after everything.”I never got to know him as my father...all I knew about him was all these horrible things I've seen and heard from you. He died thinking that I hated him and I didn't...I was angry but I didn't hate him. And all I hear are people saying these horrible things about him. I know he did bad things. I did bad things too but now the only thing they will ever know about him is that he's a....rapist. And...he is...he raped you.” That was as far as she heard from anyone. Her mother tried to brush off some of it that he wasn't completely to blame but she didn't understand how.

River kept sobbing and whipping the tears from her face. “It doesn't matter....I love him and I...don't know what to do to help him. But he would never give up on me, so I won't on him...I just don't know who I'm supposed to help. My mom is being hit and forced to have sex with Oberon, Adrian is being turned into a puppet, the only one who is doing better is my dad and I feel like I'm being forced to choose between my mom and my heart. I put her in that situation if I wasn't so selfish she never would have been taken like that....If Gothel hadn't learned about Adrian then she wouldn't have done that to him in front of Tabitha. They are both being hurt because of me...because I keep doing stupid things.” She whimpered and sat down pulling her knees to her chest.

“For true loves' kiss to work he has to love me, but right now he loves Tris. He thinks I'm the person who hurt her. Everything's so messed up. All I want to do is hide and never come out ever.” She cried, “I'm sorry...I'm making this about me....all about me. You see. I am selfish...I'm completely selfish. I keep ignoring how you feel and I keep being mean...”

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grumblygardens:

Of all people who had to overhear her, it had to be River. A moment of weakness against that tiny, innocent growing life within her had become poisoned and dark. River had seen it. She knew it. She was trying to help. Yet all Cherise felt was numbness. There was no love, yet inside she could hear herself screaming that she wanted nothing more to embrace the tiny thing. No, it wasn’t anyone’s fault someone had been so twisted and dark to manipulate two people. To be sure that Kevin would kill himself and Cherise would be weak in mind and soul. It especially wasn’t the baby’s fault. Staring at River in her shame, she coughed and sniffled back tears. “I’m trying, River. I’m not trying hard enough, obviously, but I’m trying. I shouldn’t say these things, but I feel them. I feel dark feelings… But it isn’t the baby’s fault these things happened. No, I’m not supposed to feel whatever. I’m part of my mother’s kind. I should be whispering happy things and already singing lullabies, not grudgingly replacing old maternity clothing because my husband is urging me to…” She ran her hand over her stomach with a shuddering, aching sigh. “You shouldn’t have heard that. You shouldn’t be hearing me doubt and be scared or feel these horrible things. I’m supposed to do better. I’m a mother. I’m someone who cares for so many… I do want this.”

“There isn’t a set thing to being a mother. And I'm sure as hell sure that there is no written rule on how you're supposed to feel with a baby that was created out of rape.” She was shaking, “I know you're trying but that man has a name. He's my father too. Am I my mom's parasite? Because I came from him too?” She was making this about her when it should be about Cherise's choice on the baby.

She tried to calm herself down, “My mom didn't want to have Freddie, did she ever tell you that? She was depressed all through her pregnancy and then after he was born. I know that Freddie and It came into being in different ways but if you don't think you can love it and you are going through the pregnancy then get rid of it or give it to me. I'll take care of the baby and it won't have to question why it's mom can't look at it.”

River knew she was hurting the person she cared about a lot but she was too hurt and too immature to even realize what she was doing. “Do you? Do you really want this or are you just doing this because of who you are and who your mother is? Fuck that. My mother's world, who they are would have me be a killer. I am not nor would I ever do that. And Kevin's people? I know more about them then I ever did about mermaids, and I share nothing.” River was beyond seeing through the angry haze and went for that one last jab, “You two are both alike it's eerie. He might be her blood but you spent more time with Tris...you were a greater influence on her than he ever was.”

She would regret this later but she didn't feel that now. All she did was cry and let out her frustration out on the first person that unknowingly hurt her. River whimpered and wiped away the tears, “doesn't want to see me again....” She sobbed, “...tting married....”

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grumblygardens:

“…I have an older brother. I was supposed to grow up with an older brother. I’m pregnant with another man’s parasite and I found out I have an older brother that was taken from me. What am I supposed to feel?”

The other man Cherise spoke about was River's father. Even if she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, it still hurt. If that's what she called the child she was keeping then what was River? She didn't want to be upset with anyone, not now when not even Adrian wanted to talk to her. Everyone was saying one thing or another about Kevin. It flooded her ears all the negative things she head about him. “Whatever you want. You're supposed to feel whatever you want to feel.” She made a quick reply and brushed her hair over her face as she tried to keep walking. “Sorry for bothering you..” She stopped then took in a deep breath.

River turned back around. This wasn't even about Cherise anymore. She was just frustrated at everyone. And this was the only way she could deal with it. “If you don't want to keep the thing then get rid of it. A parasite...that was Vera's nickname for me. Don't keep it out of obligation or because it's the right thing to do or if it's a wrong thing. If you're going to keep that thing then stop saying thinsg like that. You are choosing to keep it, it doesn't have a choice. If you are going to keep it then you better give it what it needs and deserves. Or make sure it's in a place where it will get all that it should and more.”

[theprincessnobody-blog]

Tris nodded her head, though it was her job to protect Ariel’s babies, she wouldn’t be able to stay away forever. “Ok.. You don’t have to believe me, but I am sorry. If there’s anything I can do. I will help in any way I can.” She stated nodding her head towards the other girl, simply wishing her the best before turning around to leave. River was angry. She had every right to be, and Tris would leave her with her anger. 

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Anger didn't begin to describe how River felt. She was a mess since that happened, she barely even went anywhere alone anymore. Victor had to escort her to class and walk with her back home. She had ceased to have friends anymore. She wasn't well liked before all of this happened but now it was worse, people talked about her behind her back as that girl that married and then thrown away. They would never understand how all of that hurt her.

She was eighteen, old enough to be able to walk to school by herself but she couldn't do it. And even sometimes she couldn't even bring herself to get out of bed. River felt horrible that her older little brother had to see her like that, and even that her aunt Andrina; that – that had been the first impression she made on her.

“After what you did to me...after what you called me the second time around, when we met. I'm never going to believe that you are being sincere. You want to know what you can do? I want you to stop, to stop trying to make it up to other people as if they were the ones you attacked. I want you to leave my dad alone. Whatever you made up in your head that you had with him, it's gone. You did that. And I want you most of all to leave my family alone. Stop trying to make them like you. This isn't about them. It was never about them. But you never cared about how I felt about what you did, did you? Just how they felt.” She shook her head, on the verge if tears. “We could have been friends. I really think we could have been close friends but you screwed that up...you cut it into pieces. And I really hope you never get to feel what I did. Never.”

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So I was tagged by brxkenfins to do the beautiful twenty people challenge. It's really early in the morning and yeah, okay I'm going to go out soon. Under the cut you will see me. This is the first and last picture of me you guys will ever get, so cherish it well.

Tagging:  whoever wants to do it basically

[theprincessnobody-blog]

“All of it.” Tris stated before looking River straight in the eyes. “I won’t bother you or your dad anymore as that is what you both wish, but as for your mother, I cannot say the same to her. She chooses to talk to me and I think she’s starting to like me.” Tris paused, looking down. “I’m so sorry though.. I should never have said those things to you.. I should never have-.” She stopped as she stared at the girl’s stomach where the bump used to be. “If there is anything I could do to reverse it. Anything I could do to let you have children I would. That was horrible. It was worse than horrible, and I’m sorry.. For everything.” 

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River didn't really care anymore what Tris thought or hoped for. She didn't want her near Ariel. “Stay away from my mother. I'm not going to repeat myself again.” She was angry, “You know what I don't believe that you're sorry about what you did. You can't reverse what you did. I am never going to have children but that doesn't me I won't ever be a mother.”

[faylinnking-blog]

“All of this so you could be a princess, you listened to a man who never cared about you and gave you to me.” Oberon grinned, “She came to me. She asked me to let you go, once and for all. She asked what it would take to make sure you would never be hurt ever again. And I told her. And she agreed.”

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“That's not...” It was true, all she wanted was to be a princess. Be like Melody and just be important. But not like this. She wanted to believe that kevin wouldn't use her again like he had done before, but he did. “I never wanted her to get hurt. I never wanted her to...” She shook her head afraid, “Why? Why do you hate us so much?! Why?”

She didn't understand why he would have accepted her mother's request when he never accepted anyone else's. “Why?”

[nxtyourtrinket-blog]

sws. {rp meme}

1: "Sometimes, you gotta fall before you fly."

2: "You bring out the best in me."

3: "So go to hell and tell the devil I'm not that far behind."

4: "You turned into a pretty big waste of my time."

5: "They say love is forever. Your forever is all that I need."

6: "You still have all of my heart."

7: "I don't think words can express your beauty."

8: "You've got a lot to say for the one who walked away."

9: "Why are you walking away? Was it something I did? Did I make a mistake?"

10: "So if you have today, say all that you have to say."

11: "If I ever let you down, I'm sorry."

12: "Maybe I'm better off dead."

13: "This is not where I belong... You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."

14: "I tried so hard to convince myself it's okay to feel this way."

15: "I hope he takes your filthy heart then he throws you away someday."

16: "I think your mouth should be quiet because it never tells the truth."

17: "I only have myself to blame, but do you think we can start again?"

18: "Don't make me feel low."

19: "I hope you know that you are what my dreams are made of."

20: "I swear, I will never leave."

21: "You still have all of my heart."

22: "I don't want to take it slow."

23: "Would you save me a spark?"

24: "If you can't hand, then there's the door."

25: "All I know is no one should have to be left alone."

[nxtyourtrinket-blog]

theprincessnobody 

{x}

“Which part? You bothering my dad? Him having to drag your ass around because of what?” River replied angrily. She was more than a little annoyed how Tris liked to immerse herself into her family. “Leave my dad alone, leave me alone. Leave my mom alone.”

[rahleeyah]

we’re witches.