📣👱‍♀️🏆

⸻try to 𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡 me, it might get 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝓎 ✧

[nycsue]

basics:

full name:  susan rodham sylvester

nicknames:  sue, coach sylvester

gender:  cis woman

pronouns:  she/her

sexuality:  bisexual/biromantic

aesthetics: the swish of track-pants in motion, insults of encouragement blasting through a megaphone, insane pieces of lore that never quite add up sprinkled into conversation

age:  twenty-eight

date of birth:  june thirtieth

zodiac sign:  cancer

residence:  new york city

occupation:  award winning cheerleading coach at nyada

appearance:

faceclaim:  reneé rapp

voice claim:  reneé rapp

height:  5'8"

build:  curvy, athletic

eyes:  blue

hair:  blonde

piercings:  n/a

tattoos:  n/a

other distinguishing features:  n/a

style:  rarely seen in anything that's not a tracksuit

personality:

traits:  tyrannical, callous, self-centered, entitled, spiteful, dedicated, choleric, adept, ruthless, sneaky, aggressive

labels / tropes: deadpan snarker, it's all about me, ice queen

likes:  trophies, power

dislikes:  will schuester, butt chins, curly hair on men, show choir, not getting her way

fears:  betrayal

hobbies:  tantric yelling, poking the elderly with pins, getting revenge, holding grudges, journaling

family:

mother:  doris sylvester

father:  george sylvester

siblings:  jean sylvester (younger sister)

pets:  n/a

[zizestm]

imessage 💬 lauren & sue.

LAUREN: what's up bitch @nycsue

[nycsue]

SUE: my blood pressure, after that joke of a "karaoke contest"

[nycsue]

sue syvlester's karaoke contest outfit

[harmonynyc]

something tells me you need a coffee. pronto. it's either that or something a lot stronger. honestly, i keep my apartment stocked at ALL times just in case of a rage filled emergency - and this sounds like JUST the emergency for you.

[nycsue]

i don't drink coffee. i get my morning energy from sue's shakes - patent-pending.

[sirensantanaxlopez]

I'm gonna be as vague as I can, but....where are you getting it from?

[nycsue]

my drive? my ambition? the trophies lining my shelves from my numerous victories? you're going to have to be more specific if you want an answer to your question, kid.

[cortezdani]

Duh, aren't you?

[nycsue]

seeing as i have less than zero interest in seeing people's toes, no, can't say i am. open-toed shoes were invented by a sociopath. ...murder and flip-flops probably go hand-in-hand in more ways than one, now that i think about it.

[sugarmottahq]

ok but imagine being crucified, rising from the dead, and then seeing a flash mob in 2025. like... i’d ascend immediately. rip.

[nycsue]

global warming is a punishment for the crimes caused by the invention of karaoke. and personally, i think that's justified.

[zizestm]

worse!! it was in a small town in ohio.

[nycsue]

good lord, how are you still alive?

explains a lot of questions i didn't care to ask, though.

[rach-berry]

how boring and uninspired of you.

[nycsue]

inspiration comes in all forms, lady farquaad. for example, you've inspired me to make sure i take a lady out on an evening date before marrying her, so i don't get consumed by her pet dragon at our wedding.

[qfabs]

Then you clearly didn't do your research, and that's on you, and no one else. Spotlight has long been known for its singing waitstaff.

[nycsue]

research? it's lunch at a restaurant, not an essay on the cons and cons of teenage pregnancy.

[schuetm]

A flash mob? In the year 2025? I never thought I'd see one of those again. I am begging you to tell me the location of this musical oasis.

[nycsue]

and i never thought i'd see live action glenn quagmire, but here he is in my mentions, so where does that leave us?

i'll do you one better, william. i've got the number of the best psych ward in town for you right here: 🖕

[zizestm]

FLASH MOBS????? again? no, i barely survived the first time it happened. that kind of thing was even happening in schools. and remember the lip dub trend? they tried to make us do one of those in school...i was just like, this seems illegal and no i will not be on the internet lip synching to the worst song ever created, creeps.

[nycsue]

they did what? where was your school, guantanamo bay?

[blainetm]

a flashmob? i feel like i haven't seen one of those in ages. where was it? and um... i hope you still had a good easter weekend, or at least a peaceful rest of your sunday.

[nycsue]

if i tell you, are you going to help me put a stop to it? i can handle it myself, but i could always use some back up or someone to pin it all on in case things go haywire. ...maybe that middle schooler with the candy bars was onto something, and i should start a cult.

it was fantastic. as hard as they might try, i refuse to let these alleged "performers" drive me to psychosis.

[rach-berry]

Do you have a problem with musical wonderment? A problem with whimsy?

[nycsue]

yes.

[nitratekisses]

guys aren't comically getting their red heart covered boxers exposed after they get their pants pulled down anymore. Due to wokeness

[cortezdani]

Dude, a flashmob? Where? I love a flashmob. I can't imagine anything more embarrassing than, like, a flashmob marriage proposal or whatever, but they're so cool to see as an onlooker.

[nycsue]

are you also a big fan of murder and flip-flop sandals?

[sirensantanaxlopez]

And I thought /i/ was intense, but apparently not enough. Tell me, did your complaining change the world the way you like it? You still have a chance to quickly delete this and save yourself any embarrassment.

[nycsue]

you think that's intense? try being an alien disguised as dog that's adopted by a lonely girl and her older sister while you're trying to avoid imprisonment back on your home planet. that's intense. this is just a post on the internet.