d e v o n
almost home
RMH
#extradirty
Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast
Sade Olutola
Origami Around
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Not today Justin
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Mike Driver
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
@theartofmadeline
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@nydianite
the way I had a full fleshed-out fix-it fanfic for the 'life is strange: double exposure' game (bc let's be honest it was a hot mess) ONLY TO FIND OUT A NEW ONE IS GONNA BE RELEASINGAHASNJSSJJSJSNSNDNSSMSKILLMEHAAJSHSJKSSKSJSNSJSJSJSK
What if I just wanna write with flawed, pathetic characters that are not main character material?
Personal spaces, i think, are a concept lost to time since we as a society discovered that we could cater these spaces to other people. That our lives can just be marketable, can be profitable, can be likeable enough if we remove ourselves, our identity, and our humanity from it.
Every message has to be catered to the reader, already perceiving an imaginary audience before you even post it. Every article, piece of work, already expects attention. And in this world, or in the internet at least, attention equals a community.
Has anybody recently felt as though that the time to find company, or some form of comfort through community has long since passed them?
I say this because I am operating in this sort of mindset that of course, tends to gravitate towards other people or communities that share the same interests as I do—but I just really think that I've surpassed the height of when it was ideal to do so. We aren't in a pandemic anymore, people have got their everyday lives to deal with, only a select few could be chronically online anymore, much less connect with communities that often—hell, some are even choosing to go analog because that's how suffocating the internet and modern technology has made everyday living feel.
Compare that to when it was created. It was created to connect people, to make information, to create spaces, to build communities. But as with most things, too much of one good thing can make you sick of it.
Was anybody present for that specific period in time, in wattpad specifically, where 'lost princess' stories were all the rage????? Or just me???
I really miss the thrill of starting a new project with no end goal in sight, just a shiny new idea, shiny new characters to make, and a shiny new plot
If you're thinking about writing that fic idea you've been sitting on for god knows how long, just do it
"I want to be defined by the things I like" - VAMPIRE KNIGHT
To be a writer is hard. To be an artist is hard. To be a musician is hard. To have a creative career or hobby is hard. But that's why we do it, isn't it?
Because we love creating so much? That we just cannot bear to leave our idea unmade, to let others experience products our imagination and see our creative vision.
I'll be honest, my mission regarding finding writing spaces or communities where I can feel welcomed as a recovering writer, it's been a swing and a miss.
It's tough really, to try and put yourself out there, to find that same spark that motivated me to write in the first place. And I don't know if I'm just not doing it in the right communities or spaces but I'll admit, I've encountered a few bad apples that left a bad taste in my mouth.
It's not like I don't want to write about the things that they seem to like, the pomegranate seeds, the "cannibalism as love" metaphor—I like all of it, but it's honestly not what I think I'm capable of at this moment. I don't want to go back into that spiral again, where I try to please every reader with my writing as much as possible. And simply because of that I am "less" than other writers. That exclusion is what almost makes me regret ever trying to write again.
Sheesh, some people out there accusing KPDH of being a movie that capitalises or just some cash grab on the K-pop music genre.
Just say you hate K-pop because you have better taste in music. No need to put a movie down because you didn't like it.
Nope, not at all lol, I've been a long-time fan of K-pop and i've been surrounded by friends and family who LOVE k-dramas and everything k-culture, my closest friends being fans of KPDH. And no I'm not preaching to be ABOVE that, I love the soundtrack don't get me wrong—but if you just did the simple act of reading the essay in its entirety (the title is very intentional i know), I'm only critiquing the film without the part that made it so viral in the first place and while I do appreciate the team behind this movie that probably sought for proper and well-rounded Korean representation.
But with the final product as it is, with much of the cultural aspects of Korea and K-pop as an industry being diluted and palatable to most audiences (which is a part of why it's so popular), it comes off as a cash grab. But I understand if fans are not of my opinion, I'm just of the principle to think critically of the media we consume, hope this opens meaningful discourse 🩵
I mean if it was, they would've just done an Illumination-levels of jukebox musical like Sing did, except they didn't right? They went hard on this one, as if putting K-pop in a movie for cash grab purposes is a BAD thing. At least they did K-pop right. Disney can't even make their 100th anniversary movie's music right.
And some people saying that this movie is "soulless and corporate" just bc they put K-pop in is a huge insult honestly. So K-pop isn't allowed to be used as a genre for musical movies then?
Ahh, I understand your point 🩵 And I don't think that putting K-pop on a movie IS inherently bad (I know many k-pop songs that would EAT on a soundtrack). But it's KPDH's use of aesthetics and glamor of Korea and the K-pop industry without giving it proper substance (which could be partly due to the animation company being heavily Western) is what makes it bad for me and other people. I have no issues with the soundtrack itself, it is very on par with K-pop songs and I love it.
As for the soulless and corporate comment, I would totally disagree with that. I am of the belief that the team behind KPDH was truly passionate about their work and what they hoped to put out, but as always, not all ideas get greenlit by Sony and go down the drain—which is a part of why the depth and substance of the movie felt diluted, giving that "soulless, corporate" feel that the audience might've got.
While it is wrong for people to assume that the movie is soulless just because they put K-Pop—there is a noticeable pattern. Soulless movies = marketable, and palatable (or shallow) movies that make the company huge profit. And KPDH sadly checks into all those boxes, the concept is marketable enough without truly giving substance or depth, anyone interested can watch it (ranging from veteran K-pop fans to complete newbies or outsiders to the genre), and K-pop has been on the rise for years and their fanbase is an untapped market for Sony and Netflix.
So it's not really that surprising that the movie attained the success that it did, given that this is pretty much the first modern animated movie that catered to K-pop interests, it's no surprise that Kpop fans WILL and DID eat it up.
And I'm not going to defend either Pixar and Disney, their new works have never resonated with me. And yes, it is an insult to be compared to Disney or Pixar's new cash cow. But that doesn't mean KPDH gets a pass from critique just because they surpassed the already low bar we've set for Disney and Pixar movies.
I think that KPDH is a step in the right direction in terms of the standard for animated movies, but they definitely took a few stumbles along the way and critique is supposed to help them, not shun them away.
The executives did ask the team to remove the part where Huntr/x and the Saja Boys compete against each other in some sports event for idols bc the GA wouldn't understand it. Honestly that's a good decision, as it's unnecessary but if this were a series, I'd be down for it.
Also not all K-pop fans ate this up as I've seen some fans saying this movie was cringe or they're just not into animated movies at all, but eh, it's their loss. I guess the movie title is a huge turn-off for some, but tbf the movie is planned to be released in Netflix only. It probably would've had a different title if this was planned to be shown in theatres (like Huntr/x or whatever they could come up with) and they would've had marketing to make people see the movie. But tbh I never expected KPDH to be a hit. I guess word of mouth really works like a charm and it deserves the hype it gets. Some say the songs are corny but who cares?
And if K-pop has been in the rise for years, I can only wonder why Disney or Illumination never even made an attempt at making a movie about it, since they're all about franchises and making big bucks.
Well that's where the "soulless" allegations come from more or less, it's diluting elements or removing entire plot points for the company's fear of the general audience not being able to understand it. I personally would've loved to see what the creative team had come up with in the initial draft of the movie, but that's up to personal preference.
And I'm aware that the movie has had a polarizing effect in K-pop spaces, but if we're talking about a great majority, a lot of them liked it. As for the songs being corny, again up to personal preferences, but the soundtrack for me is just very on the pulse on what K-pop sounds like.
To be completely honest, I was intrigued by this film but never watched it during the first few weeks of its release. It's just a good rule of thumb that I have when watching anything I'm interested in, I don't jump the bandwagon too early (especially if it's incredibly hyped or famous). But when I finally watched it, I was pleasantly surprised by it, I mean was I totally pleased with the execution? No, but did I have fun watching? Definitely.
As much as K-pop is a global phenomenon at the moment, that's not a chancethat I think either Disney or Pixar are willing to take, not when they have so many existing IP where generations have been raised on as well devotees to their company that are willing to consume any shit that they put out. And as we already know, Disney isn't really the most reliable to handle projects that feature other cultures. But with the phenomenal success of KPDH, I won't be surprised if movies like it will suddenly "show up".
Sheesh, some people out there accusing KPDH of being a movie that capitalises or just some cash grab on the K-pop music genre.
Just say you hate K-pop because you have better taste in music. No need to put a movie down because you didn't like it.
Nope, not at all lol, I've been a long-time fan of K-pop and i've been surrounded by friends and family who LOVE k-dramas and everything k-culture, my closest friends being fans of KPDH. And no I'm not preaching to be ABOVE that, I love the soundtrack don't get me wrong—but if you just did the simple act of reading the essay in its entirety (the title is very intentional i know), I'm only critiquing the film without the part that made it so viral in the first place and while I do appreciate the team behind this movie that probably sought for proper and well-rounded Korean representation.
But with the final product as it is, with much of the cultural aspects of Korea and K-pop as an industry being diluted and palatable to most audiences (which is a part of why it's so popular), it comes off as a cash grab. But I understand if fans are not of my opinion, I'm just of the principle to think critically of the media we consume, hope this opens meaningful discourse 🩵
I mean if it was, they would've just done an Illumination-levels of jukebox musical like Sing did, except they didn't right? They went hard on this one, as if putting K-pop in a movie for cash grab purposes is a BAD thing. At least they did K-pop right. Disney can't even make their 100th anniversary movie's music right.
And some people saying that this movie is "soulless and corporate" just bc they put K-pop in is a huge insult honestly. So K-pop isn't allowed to be used as a genre for musical movies then?
Ahh, I understand your point 🩵 And I don't think that putting K-pop on a movie IS inherently bad (I know many k-pop songs that would EAT on a soundtrack). But it's KPDH's use of aesthetics and glamor of Korea and the K-pop industry without giving it proper substance (which could be partly due to the animation company being heavily Western) is what makes it bad for me and other people. I have no issues with the soundtrack itself, it is very on par with K-pop songs and I love it.
As for the soulless and corporate comment, I would totally disagree with that. I am of the belief that the team behind KPDH was truly passionate about their work and what they hoped to put out, but as always, not all ideas get greenlit by Sony and go down the drain—which is a part of why the depth and substance of the movie felt diluted, giving that "soulless, corporate" feel that the audience might've got.
While it is wrong for people to assume that the movie is soulless just because they put K-Pop—there is a noticeable pattern. Soulless movies = marketable, and palatable (or shallow) movies that make the company huge profit. And KPDH sadly checks into all those boxes, the concept is marketable enough without truly giving substance or depth, anyone interested can watch it (ranging from veteran K-pop fans to complete newbies or outsiders to the genre), and K-pop has been on the rise for years and their fanbase is an untapped market for Sony and Netflix.
So it's not really that surprising that the movie attained the success that it did, given that this is pretty much the first modern animated movie that catered to K-pop interests, it's no surprise that Kpop fans WILL and DID eat it up.
And I'm not going to defend either Pixar and Disney, their new works have never resonated with me. And yes, it is an insult to be compared to Disney or Pixar's new cash cow. But that doesn't mean KPDH gets a pass from critique just because they surpassed the already low bar we've set for Disney and Pixar movies.
I think that KPDH is a step in the right direction in terms of the standard for animated movies, but they definitely took a few stumbles along the way and critique is supposed to help them, not shun them away.
Sheesh, some people out there accusing KPDH of being a movie that capitalises or just some cash grab on the K-pop music genre.
Just say you hate K-pop because you have better taste in music. No need to put a movie down because you didn't like it.
Nope, not at all lol, I've been a long-time fan of K-pop and i've been surrounded by friends and family who LOVE k-dramas and everything k-culture, my closest friends being fans of KPDH. And no I'm not preaching to be ABOVE that, I love the soundtrack don't get me wrong—but if you just did the simple act of reading the essay in its entirety (the title is very intentional i know), I'm only critiquing the film without the part that made it so viral in the first place and while I do appreciate the team behind this movie that probably sought for proper and well-rounded Korean representation.
But with the final product as it is, with much of the cultural aspects of Korea and K-pop as an industry being diluted and palatable to most audiences (which is a part of why it's so popular), it comes off as a cash grab. But I understand if fans are not of my opinion, I'm just of the principle to think critically of the media we consume, hope this opens meaningful discourse 🩵
When the original is so bad you get ideas for a fix-it fic:
When i see ppl worship movies that are low-key basic:
I know the nice people who worked on tumblr afforded us the right to make separate blogs for separate niches but I will not be exercising that right thank you very much, like mary, i can barely organize my balance and excel sheets
The Marketing Genius of K-Pop Demon Hunters: How Netflix Tapped into a Devoted Fanbase with a Shallow, Palatable Movie
With the recent, and totally not expected success and virality (from a marketing standpoint) of K-Pop Demon Hunters, it's the first of the many animated movies released by big animation companies that have achieved the level of success they could only hope for (looking at you Pixar and Disney specifically).
This essay will be divided into three parts: what the film did right in terms of marketing and how it led to its overall phenomenon in fandom spaces, its writing and actual artistic integrity without the film's marketing, and what I foresee in the future and what steps whoever holds the IP could do in order to expand and properly service their fans (I will absolutely not apologize for the word count and length of this essay, I love long-form media.)
Part One: The Media Frenzy
It's not really a surprise that Netflix is already milking the IP for content faster than you could say a sequel or a show (this movie really could've worked as a show). That is business after all, gotta strike when the iron's still hot. But what I fear is what this'll do to the fandom when the hype wears down, much alike to Disney and Pixar's 'Turning Red'. The movie was advertised so much that it oversaturated fandom spaces until they (the fandoms) had a collective burnout and is rarely to be seen in fandom spaces anymore, which in Marketing 101 is what you call a 'fad'—to which you could say, almost applies to anything with how fast trends come and go.
Funnily enough, Turning Red and K-pop Demon Hunters share the same basic lesson: "Suppressing emotions is not good, it's okay to be messy, it's okay to be non-traditional, it's okay to be you." (Turning Red did it better, that's my take). Only difference is that Turning Red catered to pop boy groups and K-pop Demon Hunters just catered to K-pop. But they did one similar thing:
They both tapped into a market wherein fans of the subject they're pandering to are incredibly loyal and mostly underrepresented in mainstream media (yes, and before you ask I am an accounting and business major, and yes you can boo now).
Most representations of fans of anything in general in mainstream media have always been watered down into caricatures or tropes, moreover female fans have been characterized by media as possessed, cult-like, or hysterical (see bobby-soxers for Elvis Presley, the Beatlemaniacs for the Beatles, and Swifties for Taylor Swift). While male fans have been caricatured as creepy with their obsessions (aka interest) especially in k-pop or pop spaces which are highly female-dominated.
So you can imagine how it is for fans to see these movies in mainstream media being catered TO them as well as a larger audience, there is this sense of kinship and overwhelming support for said movies, thus further propelling the advertising campaign. One could almost argue that the fans of K-pop Demon Hunter are the ones DOING the promotion for the movie (which is a norm in k-pop spaces only with songs to boost streaming), the movie just had the right elements to further the hype (e.g. dance videos, music videos, lyric videos, etc.). And thus, reaching more than just intended audience.
... Which brings me to my next point. And probably what you came here for anyway—K-pop Demon Hunters is palatable, but shallow at best.
Part Two: All Glitter, No Substance
That isn't to say palatable, easy to digest media is inherently bad, it's just that the movie is not any better compared to past animated movies that were considered "bad"—they just had a good soundtrack, yes, but when you take that out of the equation, the movie feels... Empty. An hour and thirty-five minutes of runtime and yet the most memorable parts ARE the soundtrack and the derpy tiger and his bird (side note, my brother and I WHEEZED at the first and heavily autotuned line of Your Idol). He said and I quote:
"Somebody spent too much time in BandLab and dragged the Pitch slider all the way to the left."
Sure, the concept was unique and had to the potential to be more. But the execution was... Middling at best, disappointing at most. The movie had the potential to showcase more of Korean culture/mythology or what its like to be in the K-Pop industry (with the added pressure that they're secretly Hunters) or just give their characters more depth (Celine in this movie is just a concept not a character). But no, most they get is one or two personality traits, a motivation, and a single bullet point of their backstory, at best. The world they're in is poorly built out and the third act conflict felt so flat but was just more or less a watered down version of My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks.
The story felt like there was no stakes involved (crazy 'cause the Saja Boys literally plans a world tour to basically suck all of humanity's souls) and hot take, the Jinu and Rumi scenes DRAGGED but they still didn't give me any reason to root for them as a ship, would've been more satisfied to see more of the other members of HUNTR/X or flesh out the world a bit more personally.
The first MAJOR red flag that I felt while watching this movie is how it literally opens with an info dump about our three "main" characters (and by main I mean Rumi only) and just gives (or tells) us the rundown of their backstories and their capabilities as idols rather than SHOWING it in their performances (they were literally about to perform a WORLD TOUR it's not that DIFFICULT). At first, I gave them a shadow of a doubt because I refuse to believe whoever wrote the script didn't follow practically what EVERY. WRITING. COACH. Will yell at your face when you're starting out with writing which is "SHOW not TELL".
I thought— No, I HOPED that one of these character introductions would be misleading, that one character has more beneath the surface, or that the movie will further flesh their backstories out if they ARE true... But then "Golden" plays and that's where I realized that that's where any further more fleshing out of their backstory or character practically ends. For Jinu, I didn't really mind how they portrayed how his guilt and shame makes him do the things he does, but again he suffers the same syndrome as the other characters—they're too shallow for me to root for.
But I will give my flowers where its due, I did like how with the little glimpse of the K-Pop industry in this film they portrayed how fans are susceptible to infantilizing K-pop boy groups or idols in general and how the industry plays into it too (with the variety show scene). But the rest? A complete idealistic portrayal of K-pop as an industry. I could forgive Bobby being an actual good manager (a rarity in the k-pop industry), but you're telling me HUNTR/X is not facing a MASSIVE hate train for coming after the Saja Boys, who are innocent, sweet rookie boys (grown men)? I've seen idols getting SLAMMED for way less, but then again some really big idols get away with ACTUAL CRIMES so there's that.
Circling back to my earlier point of how watered down the K-pop and cultural aspects are in this movie, because it is a point that the director, Maggie Kang, harps on as it is and I quote:
"A love letter to K-Pop" [and to her] "Korean roots".
Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell how others should represent their culture. But when a film markets itself as a love letter to a specific niche and audience... I expect love. I expect the care and thought that the creatives behind this film because that's what they promised, that's why MANY K-pop fans LOVE this movie anyway, because it is catered and marketed to them.
Watching the film felt like the Korean representation Kang was gunning for diluted into references and industry nods to serve as this knowing "wink" for long-time fans just enough to feign authenticity, but had absolutely no soul behind it (demon pun intended). It borrowed the glamor of K-pop as an industry and the aesthetics of Korean culture without actually putting much thought into honoring it. When you take away the catchy soundtrack and the film's stunning visuals, it becomes absolutely clear that they're the crutches of this structurally weak plot.
And yes, some could argue that there is a lot of representation or references to Korean mythology, and they're technically right. There is. But referencing is not the same as storytelling. Sure, the writers took good care to reference niche Korean mythology into the film, disguising it as "lore"—but the writers never fully do anything with them. These references hold no real narrative purpose to serve the overarching story. Presence does not equal purpose.
And the creatives behind this film don't trust the cultural nods to be compelling for the audience either. It's no secret that the Hunters in the film are inspired by Korean shamanism (also known as Musok in Korean culture), which is the oldest belief system in Korea and heavily relies on singing and dancing as rituals, offerings, and divination to address otherwordly spirits or beings like sickness or ill luck. It's also the most well-known Korean belief system wherein women held and led said rituals. It's already such a rich and unique concept that it's almost a no-brainer why the creatives thought to link it to the modern day K-pop industry. To merge something sacred and mainstream is already such a compelling concept that the writers didn't trust the audience to understand. So what did they do?
They gave them weapons.
That's such a small but significant detail. When shamans were particularly revered for their connection to the afterlife and beyond, when their rituals didn't need nor require any weapons—when they sought to only protect through voice not violence. They gave them weapons. Flashy ones, too. And suddenly, now they look like any other anime-lite task force with cool outfits and shiny blades. And banging vocals.
In what was supposed to be the sacred act of singing, dancing—of performance to keep the evils at bay—they are sidelined for action scenes that look cool because they move "in sync with the song". And once again, the cultural root is only half-used, polished and modified just enough just to look exotic but not deep enough to affect the plot.
The film flinches at becoming something authentic for the sake of being marketable, palatable to anyone interested to see the film, K-pop fan or not, and in the end just wears the glamor of the community they claim to love while providing no real substance.
It's frustrating because as much as I want to love this movie, it feels like being grateful for crumbs because we've been starved. I believe that this story has potential, I'm just currently disappointed with what they delivered.
Part Three: It's Not a Love Letter, it's a Marketing Strategy
And I am not demoralizing anyone who loves this film, it's just that we deserve more than a half-hearted movie that cries representation when in reality it more or less just stuck a K-Pop label on itself to sell. If the creatives decide to continue on with this IP, that it's hopefully in a show format and there actually be a whole hearted passion in bringing representation to their work and not just using its flair for its marketability.
Like I think it's such an interesting concept to explore how Hunters are scouted and formed, are one of them always a direct descendant or relative of a former Hunter? Why does the Honmoon never last? Is an eternal Honmoon even possible? What about the other member's lives? What happens to the people whose souls got taken prior to the Saja Boys's final performance? Are there real consequences for their deaths? Like this story, if just formatted right and given to the right creatives who have a passion for showing their culture through their work could benefit greatly from it—maybe even take this already great concept to greater heights.
And for those willing to argue that "it's just a kid's movie, why are you so pressed about it?" Because it is precisely a kids movie. Movies, books, shows—they are all stories at the end of the day. Stories that actually matter and introduce them to worldly concepts through fantastical plots and do so with the utmost respect and care. If anything, it should make them try harder because it's what they consume that sticks, that molds them into the kind of person they'll become.
And for those who want to argue "it's no big deal, it's a shut-your-brain-off movie" no it is not. The movie has been branded time and time again as a love letter and an homage to K-pop but at the end of the day is still an American film with Korean-adjacent nods and aesthetics. They want the allure, the buzzwords, the fandom engagement—the profit that comes with cultural association without actual accountability that comes with it.
But if the creators don't take the proper steps to actually establish K-Pop Demon Hunters as a proper piece of media (e.g. turning it into a show or series) or don't intend to, then I'm afraid that the IP will end up like Turning Red did once the novelty fades away.
Real representation deserves to be more than just a trend cycle, it deserves longevity, respect, and reflection.
I hyperventilate when I write.
To pick up a pen is enough to feel my heartbeat pulsing through my veins, and to type is equivalent to a short breath. I always feel this way at night, it's when inspiration decides to rouse me most and lower my inhibitions to actually put pen into paper to put finger into each key.
Funnily enough, I've never felt this way about writing until recently.
I've always known I've loved writing—it had always been my dream. My start was as any other author's—my reading level was well beyond my age, my vocabulary expansive, and my writing passable enough for academia.
When I had branched out of it and began to actually make stories—worlds and characters of my own, I burned with ardent delight to finally put to words all the silly fantasies I've always acted out, made the stories I could never seem to find in movies, or shameless rewrites of things I've seen and developed a special interest in.
My first few attempts were clunky, clumsy. She didn't know what third act conflicts were, how to write action scenes that don't feel like a walk in the park, how to show and not tell. How to make others feel the burn that ravaged at her being, how to let tension simmer and burst at the right moment.
And with like any other topic that I feel uncomfortable with not knowing, I studied. I learned as much as I could with that was available to me. Day and night, when I'd have nothing else better to do, I memorized character arcs, mastered subtext, learned how to formulate a proper plot. I basked in the knowledge of how to make a living, breathing world solely from my imagination.
Only by then, I'd been paralyzed. Scared to put pen to paper, my hand weighed heavy with the pressure of creating a magnum opus, on what I thought could've been my legacy.
Sure, I had the knowledge to back it up, I knew how one could breathe life into characters and make worlds that feel real. But I had no idea how to do so myself. The fire that I thought had once burned brightly within me, had been the price for my technical perfection.
I told myself I was an imposter. That I was never meant to be an author at all, that I lacked the depth to be one when ironically, it's what I perfected my craft for. To string words that resonate with one's ugliest emotions, to have my paragraphs resonate to most.
But... How was I even going to achieve that in the first place when I'd contained myself?
I isolated myself, hid my progress, and never sought community out of fear I wouldn't be accepted nor could even compare to others' works. I was convinced that my loneliness is universal, that me being misplaced in a space I wanted to belong was poetic. When it only made me more pathetic.
There was no one to hold me accountable, not even myself. I never even trusted myself to write what I thought could've been my masterpiece. What I spent years trying to hone, only to gather dust in the deeprest recesses of my mind.
Now, I couldn't even write a damn poem without looking one up for reference. I twitch reading my old drafts, editing them to hell and back before I could even finish. Now, I've convinced myself that if I do not communicate like a failed 19th century playwright in my writing it may well have been ashes.
I've lost the spark that consumed me whole, and there is nothing left of me but ashes.
But I'm trying, I'm trying to believe in myself, I do—trying to believe that I'm more than writing programs that make me rewrite a sentence over and over again until I've run dry. That my stories, while not masterpieces, be someone else's comfort, their own spark to make their own. And that's what I'm looking forward to as a writer.
Not perfection, but to become someone else's inspiration.
