posts from a dumbass

any pronouns,

[fluffmugger]

[leninthesixth]

you gotta include this photo

[cumpriest]

ağlıycam

[tahthetrickster]

whoa… the ancient philosophical quandary has at last been answered… he can has cheezburger

[wolfythewitch]

Death’s emissary 

[meowjoyz-deactivated20230721]

WAIT LET ME FIND THIS OLD DRAWING..

[meowjoyz-deactivated20230721]

[ampervadasz]

[skulk-id]

[bgm05]

wow players having to stand in lines for a quest because a relevant npc can only talk to one player at a time. is the funniest image on the planet

[bgm05]

i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.

[thediscossessed]

Literally this

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My favourite is the guy saying, “This is like being at the dmv”

[spoonwizardd]

a group of wizards playing "dont let it touch the ground" with a magic missile, giggling like children and bouncing it back and forth like a balloon, until one of them drops it and dies screaming in the most horrific explosion you've ever seen. the other wizards are unphased and continue the game with a new missile like nothing happened.

[oof-i-did-it-agaaiiin]

[funnytwittertweets]

[caspercryptid]

Hey mutuals friendly reminder that

• I am drowning

• there is no sign of land

• you are coming down with me

• hand in unlovable hand

[caspercryptid]

I can’t continue the bit I’ve decided I want to be loved now

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

pearls are RIDICULOUS because you think you know what a pearl looks like, you can envision it in your head, it's just a simple little white dot, but then all of THESE exist also

...such a versatile calcified bodily fluid

[tigerstripedmoon]

Why can't kidney stones look like this >:(

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you above all others understand this post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the upside of sharing one collective braincell is that we are all in agreement. all of the same mind, one could say.

[kabochako]

no one:

artists who can draw hands:

[heatandapathy]

no one:

artists who can draw feet:

[heatandapathy]

[theeretblr]

I feel like here can be so chill about when I post outfit pictures, meanwhile Twitter:

They're feral!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[cerealdog]

Was gonna do serious art, instead just died

[heartofaspen]

it’s so funny to me that whoever makes jack manifold’s thumbnails drew on the white half of ranboo’s mask. he wasn’t wearing that mask in the video. he has to be recognizable for the views

[beautifulfic-deactivated2015091]

The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

[beautifulfic-deactivated2015091]

Years after this, I still have the same postman. He still always wears trousers, but every time I answer the door, I’m pretty sure we both remember this incident.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr is special because [incorrect answers only pls]

[riotfalling]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

incorrect answers i specified incorrect answers

[hedgehogcryptid]

but the incorrect answers are boring! “because we’re all friends here”, “because no one here ever commited a murder”. If I say the fun shit like “tumblr is special because it allows me to comunicate with the ghost-beetle running the universe’s software” someone would say shit like “but that’s a correct answer! Didn’t you already know about the beetle?” and where does that leave me?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

...i would like to hear more about the ghost-beetle running the universe’s software PLEASE

[izzibu]

Some might say it's a bug, but I say it's a feature.