nyx

spewing madness and calling it poetry

[nyx-poetry]

i leave the door open

i leave the door open for you because i know you will leave they always do

it is easy at first to love the mask i wear to believe i could be whole but then you see the cracks you see the blood under my fingernails from clawing at my own skin the trembling silence in my throat where words of love should live

you will realize i am not fragile i am wreckage a ruin that cuts anyone who holds it for too long

i ruin the good things because i know they never last i flinch at tenderness bite at the hand that lingers i am too much rage too much sorrow and still somehow never enough to make someone stay

so i leave the door open for you not out of kindness but mercy

because i know one day you will run and i’d rather you not have to break down the lock to escape me ~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

in other universes

i dream of other universes where i am not a burden in every room where i am a gentler child a steadier friend a body that does not collapse the moment love touches it

in that world i do not run from affection do not fracture under expectation do not disappoint with every breath

there i am someone worth holding someone worth staying for

here i am only the shadow of who i should have been ~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

the light i never thought i deserved

i used to live in the noise of my own mind the endless echoes of not enough the hollow silence that came after storms but you you step into the chaos with steady hands and suddenly the shadows learn to rest

you speak to me like i am made of rare things like every breath i take is something holy you call me beautiful until i almost believe it you love me not with grand gestures but with the quiet certainty that i am worth it that i am wanted that i am yours

you are the calm beneath my panic the warmth when the night gets sharp you hold my heart like it is fragile glass yet you never let me forget i am more than my breaking

and in the dark i do not fall i choose you i choose you again and again because you are the light i never thought i’d deserve because you treat me as though i am the most valuable thing in this ruined world and maybe to you i am

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

maybe

perhaps my hopes climbed too far perhaps my love is broken

a shrine built for a ghost that never meant to stay who left my heart open

perhaps this is why sparks flare in the night not to warm but to sear

to leave ash on my hands and silence in their wake unquelled by my tears

perhaps i am the fool believing you would stay or perhaps it is you who is cursed

to flee from a love that burns the same as the games you play your lies in the mirror you rehearsed

~ nyx & 0ur-mom @0ur-mom

[nyx-poetry]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD. Once you're given this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing happens but it's sweet to know so. I think you're beautiful inside and out, never forget to love yourself!❤

(our usernames are almost same✨)

Aah thank you so much!!❤️ it’s such an honor

(great minds think alike ✨)

[nyx-poetry]

loved?

i beg the stars knees bruised asking softly when it will be me

i am tired of being the midnight muse the ache in a stranger's chest the pause between their forever

tired of being the distraction the borrowed fire for those who mistake loneliness for love

now my ink is running dry every page a grey sigh a hopeless prayer on bleeding knees beneath empty skies

wondering when is it my turn to know what it is like to be loved?

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

pendulum

you came back all soft hands and sad eyes like i forgot how the last goodbye tasted like rust

said you needed someone i was not someone i was a sanctuary and you came to burn it

flirted in moonlight ghosted by morning kissed my kindness then spat it out

you wanted warmth but handed me frost a pendulum swinging between stay and go until i snapped the string

this time i do not bury the body this time i light the match

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

ghost weather

you crept back to me like fog soft but i still choked

you said you needed me then left the door swinging again

you do not speak love you echo it until it hurts to listen

i was the warmth you used to thaw then forgot when the cold came back

this is not anger it is remembering how i begged the silence not to be you

and how it was

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

beautifully confused

i do not know if i am the tether or the knife

if you reached back to hold me or to hollow me again

you speak soft now but silence once roared in my ribs and i have not forgotten how empty felt like home

i wonder if you mean it this time or just miss the taste of someone who stayed

you touch the edges of me like you never shattered the middle and i i do not know if i am healing or just forgetting how it felt to bleed

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

the wreckage

my mind is all thunder now no quiet between thoughts no mercy between strikes

i try to bloom but every petal wilts under the weight of imagined conversations and memories i cannot forget

the storm never passes it circles back tears up everything tender roots dreams even the flowers i planted in your name

i water what is left with my shaking hands but nothing grows not here not anymore

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

just a ghost

they all touch me like i’m fire then leave when they feel the burn i give and give and give until there’s nothing left but pieces no one wants to hold

they forget me like i was never real just a moment just a girl just a ghost they outgrew

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

left with the echo

i have loved like fire and been left like ash they all taste the warmth then vanish with the smoke

i give the best of me and they leave with it a little more each time until there's nothing left to give

they forget me like dreams washed away by morning a name they almost remember a voice they no longer hear

i am the girl they always leave the almost the not quite the maybe in another life

i break in quiet places where no one can see scatter my pieces on the floor and try to call it healing

but i am tired of being too much and never enough tired of watching them stay until they don’t

tired of building homes in people who burn them down and wondering what is so wrong with me that no one ever stays

~ nyx

[nyx-poetry]

i don't miss the fire

i don't miss the fire just the way it used to light me up but all it ever did was burn flicker vanish leave smoke in my throat and a taste of regret on my tongue

he called it chemistry i call it combustion unsteady hands half-truths dressed like flirting a battlefield behind every joke

but i… i mistook the wreckage for warmth

and now there’s no spark no games just stillness a voice like thunder with none of the storm a mind like mine sharp and focused who doesn’t take peace from me he brings it

no he doesn’t make my heart race he slows it anchors it reminds me that calm is not the absence of feeling it’s the presence of safety

and maybe this isn’t a love poem maybe it’s not about him at all maybe it’s about me choosing not to chase echoes not to water dead roots not to mourn what was never mine in the first place

this time i am not falling i am rising and no flame will touch me unless i let it

~ nyx

i’m not healing because i found someone new. i’m healing because i remembered who the hell i am.

[nyx-poetry]

reclaiming myself

the reclaiming collection part XI - the final goodbye

parts of you might forever remain stuck in my mind

you laugh might stay tucked away in my heart

your words might be etched into my soul

but i am ready to say goodbye to the good the bad the beautiful and the tragic

part of me might still hold on to us

but i am reclaiming myself from the talons of your love and i am reclaiming my peace with it

goodbye.

~ nyx

some ghosts stay soft. some leave scars. but i’m done letting either keep me.

[nyx-poetry]

i hope i haunt you

the reclaiming collection part X

you were easy to love shame on me for being easy to leave

you will not be easy to forget so i hope i haunt your every thought

close your eyes and see my face play our song and hear my laugh live your life and realize how much i would have loved to live it with you

i hope i haunt you like you haunt me forever

~ nyx

you were easy to love. shame on me for being easy to leave.

[nyx-poetry]

put the sword down

the reclaiming collection part IX

perhaps it is time to put the sword away to stop fighting

not out of defeat but to walk away with dignity

and it hurts to walk away when you have given so much and hoped so hard

but let the ache remind you of the strength you have for choosing yourself

perhaps this is not something you fight for it is something you heal from

~ nyx

sometimes the bravest thing you can do is put the sword down — not because you’ve lost, but because you’ve finally chosen you.

[nyx-poetry]

open door

the reclaiming collection part VIII

it is not my fault you overreacted you did not stay to hear what i had to say

at the glance of effort you disappeared and i will no longer carry the pain of someone who never deserved my attention in the first place

i do not owe you an open door when you slammed it in my face without warning

~ nyx

you don't get to disappear and still haunt me. not anymore.