“She wanted to say ‘Don’t leave me,’ but she couldn’t do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her.”
— Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale

#extradirty
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Love Begins
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occasionally subtle
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Jules of Nature

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@nyxumbras
“She wanted to say ‘Don’t leave me,’ but she couldn’t do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her.”
— Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale
would give anything to be invited to this
Girl's night
“She had felt that way during her own childhood; she’d felt like a watchful, wary adult housed in a little girl’s body. And yet nowadays, paradoxically, it often seemed to her that from behind her adult face a child about eleven years old was still gazing out at the world.”
— Anne Tyler, Clock Dance
Just flip up my skirt, push my panties to the side and take what's yours. ♡
This idea was so much better in my head
Full Azriel Chapter
This includes the missing page, all in order.
All credit goes to Lola-hollin662 on reddit! My BAM edition still hasn’t come in the mail but the redditor was kind enough to post it.
Weiterlesen
Rereading Shadow Falls Camp 1
I've recently talked about old book series like HoN and SFC with my best friend and although we both agreed that they are kind of cringey, I really did want to reread them just to relive the drama that captivated my adolescent years and also since especially with these books I couldn't recall much of what happened.
So far I've read chapter one to four and we meet Kylie Galen, a 16 year old girl whose life now turned to shit because her parents are getting a divorce, she still hasn't processed the death of her grandma and her boyfriend Trey recently broke up with her.
The book starts with Kylie witnessing yet another argument between her mom and her dad. Her mom is introduced as an emotionless ice queen who's grilling her dad's underwear on the grill. Her dad is packing up his stuff to leave but Kylie obviously doesn't want him though. She wants to come with him and even asks him to not leave her but he only responds that he's only a phone call away. I'm definitely interested in how this dynamic with her mom will turn out since so far, Kylie doesn't seem close to her mother. Multiple times Kylie thinks about her mom as the ice queen who's emotionless and not caring. (Side Note: teenage me and my mom did not have the best relationship either, we do now but back then there wasn't a day where we wouldn't scream at each other so that is another reason why I'm interested in why her mom is the way she is and how Kylie will grow up to maybe see through her mom's trauma which wouldn't explain why her mom is so distant since she is still a parent but yeah, we'll see how this will turn out hopefully). We learn quickly that Kylie is in therapy because of her stalker that no one else seems to see except her, an man in army clothes. (SPOILER WARNING: I do think to recall that this is her actual father and her powers are seeing dead people but that's about it, like I do not remember what she is.)
Her grandmother recently died and she's hasn't fully comprehended that, seemingly forgetting it here and there. We don't know much about her grandmother yet. Kylie does recall her own mother not holding her at the funeral of her own mother. Ever the ice queen.
At a house party we meet her best friend Sara, who doesn't seem to notice or care about Kylie's feelings. She's an outgoing girl who follows trends and recently lost her virginity being dumped by her then boy and since then has had sex numerous times. Originally they both wanted to keep their virginity and losing it be something special. Kylie gets even more pissed about her life when she sees her ex boyfriend Trey walk in with a new girl. We don't know why he broke up with Kylie but as she stated that after drinking beer he is getting touchy and she never gave in, because she wants her first time to be special and not have a boy reek of beer, Trey maybe broke things off to get off. We don't know much about him too, it's probably not even important for us to know more about him since there obviously will be other boys Kylie's going to think about. The party ends abruptly once the cops show up, which always confused me as a European girlie but since the legal drinking age in the US (Kylie lives in Houston) is 21 years old, they're all getting arrested. Kylie did not have a sip of alcohol but her mom's still pissed off and after an argument, she agrees with Dr. Day who's Kylies therapist to send her to a summer camp for troubled kids.
So Kylie is sent off to this summer camp which she knows nothing about besides that troubled kids go there to not be troubled anymore. She gets onto the bus that will drive her to it and we meet a lot of new characters and I have to say that this chapter was the best one yet because Kylie is just so goddamn judgemental and I never noticed that before. She judges the appearances of the other teens, calling one girl "gothic girl" because she's only wearing black. She freaks out when she meets a boy whose eye colors are constantly changing. We meet Miranda, a girl with three different hair colors on her head and I don't get why that is so unnatural for Kylie to see but of course she again judges Miranda. During the bus ride she texts Sara, who does not respond to Kylie's message at all but rather tells Kylie that she's probably pregnant. Kylie is inclusive though since she doesn't stop at judging people she doesn't know but she also judges her best friend about the maybe pregnancy. Thinking that, at least she knows who the father is since she had sex with only three boys.
So all in all I have to say that it was pretty cringey to re read SFC and I've only read the first four chapters. The target audience is very obviously teenage girls and Kylie as I said is a very one dimensional character now. I never noticed before how judgy she is. I know that she's young and going through a lot but I really hope she becomes a better person because right now I'm not her biggest fan. I'm 26 years old now and this book came out in 2011 so over 12 years ago. I don't expect much but I hope I can enjoy it and relive what younger me liked about these books. It's also nice to revisit it with an adult brain. So to anyone who's still reading I hope you enjoyed, I never really did something like this before. This is a project I want to mainly do for myself and I'm not sure if I want to continue writing my thoughts or not.
Her hands twined around his neck, and Lorcan lifted her, carrying her not to the bath, but to the cot behind them, his lips never leaving hers. Home. This, with him. This was home, as she had never had. For however long they might share it. And when Lorcan laid her out on the cot, his breathing as uneven as her own, when he paused, letting her decide what to do, where to take this, Elide kissed him again and whispered, “Show me everything.” So Lorcan did. - Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas
@elorcanweek2022 Day 6: So Lorcan Did
@jrtart_ gifted me this lovely piece so I’m counting it at my early birthday present. But really, it all of us who get a wonderful gift today.
@vikingmagic33 @booknerd87 @hlizr50 @mystical-blaise @ofduskanddreams
She’s coming along nicely!! About 4 hours in…. I’d say 2 hours or so left
Beyond the way that Everything Everywhere All At Once made queer & Asian people feel seen through the beautifully complex way it portrayed generational trauma and the struggle to just get your family to understand, there was also the little details that really stood out to me throughout the movie that made me feel so fucking seen as a Chinese diaspora kid. As much as Shang-Chi and Crazy Rich Asians were milestones in Chinese representation in western media, the way that EEAAO does it is just so much deeper than those two films.
God, where do I even begin? It's in the small the details. It's the way their rice cooker sings at the start of the movie with the exact same tune my rice cooker sings with once it's done cooking. It's the way that Waymond hums Gong Xi Gong Xi (恭喜恭喜) during the CNY party - the exact same song that I was taught in Saturday Chinese school. It's the way they seamlessly switched between Mandarin to English to Cantonese to Chinglish in a way that's completely familiar to me because that's how my household and community spoke. The small details made me feel seen in ways that Shang-Chi and Crazy Rich Asians only touched on briefly.
But there's also other details, too. Small moments. When Waymond looked longingly at the elderly Chinese couple embracing in the IRS building, that brief embrace reminded me of how I would see the same thing in the local Asian grocery stores in my home community. It reminded me of my grandparents, walking hand in hand here in Canada at the mall. It also reminded me of how you never, ever see sweet moments like that between Chinese elders in Western media, ever.
And on top of that, the way it framed the connection to China/HK hit close to home. In the brief shots of Waymond and Evelyn as young lovers, there's something about it that's just perfectly reminiscent of my parents. It's the narrow-ass balcony, the outfits, the grainy footage, the hairstyles. It looks like something straight out of my parent's albums. In addition to this, the way the fights were a tribute to Stephen Chow films and the way that the Wong Kar-Wai universe was shot just pulled me directly back to the times that I'd pass by my parents watching those films in the living room.
The thing I appreciate as well is the fact that it doesn't take the characters back to Asia like many immigrant stories tend to do. Yes, there are parallel universes where the characters never left their homeland, but there's nothing forcing them to go back like in Shang-Chi or Crazy Rich Asians. By keeping the film set in America, EEAAO tells us: here is home. You're still connected to your ancestral roots through family ties and cultural practices, but you've found a new home despite the difficulties living here. Your identity as someone stuck in-between as an immigrant family is valid and your story matters. It's worth telling. You matter.
Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts 2022 | dir. Joe Pearlman, Casey Patterson