a concept: jean crocs that are also light-up and heelys at once
hmmm……
will byers stan first human second

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@oapatini16
a concept: jean crocs that are also light-up and heelys at once
hmmm……
This is the greatest two seconds of my day.
this is the greatest two seconds the world will ever see
Can we as millennials and gen-z’s collectively agree that NObody Cares about elbows on the table like Why was that Ever A Problem for Anyone?? We can chill right?
nobody asked for this but the origin of not putting one’s elbows on the table comes from the late 18th/early 19th century when wooden ships were still used in the navy- sailors would balance their plates between their elbows while eating to keep them from sliding around. because sailors developed a reputation on-land for being uncouth and aggressive, the placing of elbows on the table became associated with such behaviour.
some cultural historians believe it also goes back further, to the middle ages, when large banquet-style meals were served on trestle tables that had no side support. if someone put their elbows on the table, they risked bringing the whole table down with them.
so basically, there is no longer any need to NOT put elbows on the table, and there hasn’t been since the advent of steamships.
I love this because now i can smartass the next person who tries to give me shit for it
For all u mountain climbers out there
*climbs up and takes a few good slurps while i piss on the wall*
You literally did not have to say that
i didn’t
the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that
1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;
2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.
i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.
the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.
i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”
eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.
when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.
sexy, he said.
that was all i wanted.
i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.
mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.
let girls be girls.
don’t force womanhood on little girls.
i encourage men to reblog this post
honestly, apart from some of the talk that i know certain sides won’t be appreciative of, this is still a very valid viewpoint
“Your job — as students who are receiving an education — is to be aware of your privilege. And use this particular privilege called “education” to do your best to achieve great things, all the while advocating for those in the rows behind you.”
source
Wow this is a masterpiece
reblog if u are currently A Mess
Hearing the sentence “It’s not delivery, it’s Digiorno!” is actually super disappointing in real life.
where is the mode where i don’t have to see any straight people then
The fbi man behind my webcam whenever I reblog “fbi man who’s spying on me” memes:
The sun has never seen a shadow
if you’d stayed in the shower a bit longer you’d have realised the sun has never seen anything
I had a dream that I went to a restaurant, and a bunch of other gen z kids were there with their families. The music the staff apparently had on their playlist was mostly iconic pop songs from the 2000s, and it got to the point where all the gen z kids were yelling the lyrics at the top of our lungs and it was a beautiful moment of solidarity and brotherhood.
Everyone’s parents were super confused.
not for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bird’s name is Dog Water
“population growth” is just a formal mathematical way of saying “how fast can people fuck?”
You’re missing an important part of this, here.
“Population growth” is just a formal mathematical way of saying “How fast can people fuck and also die?”
actually its more like “how much faster are people fucking than they are dying?”
fuck to death ratio
exactly