[blackphoenixalchemylab]

Wait... what are we trying to summon with this ritual?

[arlothia]

We’re trying to summon Perchu!

[knifefightscene]

men get pegged 🍾🍾🍾

[iridescent-tendencies]

[gaypeopletwitter]

[fijiooz]

my brain cells when i start the day off by drinking water

[brussello-deactivated20201231]

[dreanlamd]

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

shrek one: BEST

shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to “i need a hero” being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.

shrek three: bad

shrek four: bad

[polyglotplatypus]

Love Is Stored in The You

[moonpaw]

[eveningruiner]

[reginaldqueribundus]

Tumblr’s “adult content” ban is the social media equivalent of Kylo Ren firing 500 giant laser cannons at a ghost of Luke Skywalker

[reginaldqueribundus]

Bonus:

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

Apparently Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth just got hitched, and congratulations to them. But this is the first time I've seen Cyrus in a while and I'm shocked she looks human again. Whatever the hell she was doing these last few years is gone and she looks a lot more like she did when she was younger, but healthier. Good for her.

The demon jumped ship into Katy Perry.

Let me demonstrate 

Era One: Miley is not possesed

Era Two: Miley is possessed by the Unknown Demon

Contact: Miley comes into close contact with Katy Perry

Transfer: Uknown Demon makes leap into Perry

Recovery: Miley recovers from possession

First Murder: Katy Perry, Possessed, proceeds to kill a Nun via stress in a legal battle over the purchase of a convent

This concludes my lecture on the rampant demon problem in Pop Music circles. 

[catholicschoolgay]

laughing cow cheese huh?

I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

[bigeisamazing]

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

[neon-vagina]

this is literally my favorite

[bikebutch]

Struggling to keep your rolled up sleeves looking nice is gay culture

[bob-belcher]

This snow is beautiful.

[spookymalfoymanor]

Please tell me that there was at least one asshole Muggleborn kid who refused to call teachers professor

“Mr. Snape?”

“It’s professor Snape”

“Do you have a doctorate degree?”

“… no”

“Okay then Mr. Snape”

[yumenouveau]

“But squad, do you think Lupin’s a professor?”

“Did you see his elbow patches?  No question”

[alexandriaocasiocortez]

Museum security guard 1: Wait, did you hear something?

Museum security guard 2: Yeah, I think it came from the gift shop.

Me, who broke into the museum and had already stolen dozens of priceless artifacts but decided to stop by the gift shop to score a snow globe:

[kybarsfang]

This is oddly specific.

[alexandriaocasiocortez]

[trencly]

Teacher: Can I see your homework? Me: Haha no way loser do your own