#extradirty
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Janaina Medeiros
JBB: An Artblog!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
styofa doing anything
taylor price
Origami Around
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
🪼
Not today Justin
todays bird
will byers stan first human second
No title available
Sade Olutola
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from United States
@obae-won
something something “I’m a person and my name is Anakin” showing his name is a central way he retains identity while a child slave vs “that name no longer has any meaning to me” in almost the same breath as “I must obey my master” thirty years later after Sidious accomplished what Gardulla and Watto never managed to: breaking his spirit and convincing him he has no other options but obedience, accepting painful consequences, never looking for a way out. something like that
hello I'm back(ish)
have some high republic style obi-wan!
U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping
the man who has witnessed a thousand bloody battles saying the airport bar is the worst place he’s been is based, actually
Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.
Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”
No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.
“Any Jedi except Anakin.”
And you too, my dear Obi-Wan. And you too.
Okay, so. Star Wars has all these concepts that weirdo New Left boomer George Lucas tosses in there but because of storyteller limitations it would kill the plot to fully explain them all, so later writers have to come in for the spin-off materials and bat clean-up to fully explain all this crazy crap. And I would like to talk about something that made me actively angry at first, but which I now adore. And that is the Naboo.
So much about Naboo culture is infuriating from a logical standpoint. They have a queen, okay. A constitutionally elected queen? Weird, okay. Don't know why they'd do that but... She's FOURTEEN? Excuse me? Is it a ceremonial thing or, oh no it's not? Legit head of state? Why does she dress like that? Why does she talk like that? I'm so tired.
Here's the explainer. Let me go cook.
There's this joke in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where the last living human goes back in time and finds out humans aren't actually from Earth, but an alien culture that tricked all the middle managers, pedantic weirdos, and other infuriating folk into getting in a space arc which they gave the wrong evacuation coordinates to simply get rid of them. The Naboo are like this but they're all artists and poets and hippies, but like classy ones. They fled their home planet during a war and crash landed on Naboo, then did a colonism to the Gungans because, hey, they were fleeing a war and it was do or die. This spiritual rot in their creation story is later rectified by Padmé. But it's super important to their cultural psychology. They're hippies, but will subjugate if needed. They are "peaceful" but I guarantee you every single one of them has a tiny extremely shiny pistol up their sleeve and they will draw down on you if backed against a wall.
The scene that I think says it all is at the end of Phantom Menace when Padmé is surrounded by Nute Gunray and his droids, they've got her dead to rights, but Sabé her double creates a distraction so the queen can make it to her throne. This one piece of furniture is the Naboo in a nutshell. It's richly carved with artistic details, it has two seats to the side so the queen's handmaidens can read the lips of people in the back of the room and use hand signals to communicate with the queen while she can remain focused mostly on who is speaking to her. It is hundreds of years old. And it has a secret compartment in the armrest that is FULL OF GUNS. Layers of artistic opulence hiding their true intentions.
The Naboo were created to be backwards compatible with Princess Leia. They're compassionate pacifists, but they will shot you if needed.
Why do they elect teenage royalty? It's a little creepy. It's giving "age of consent is emotional maturity". It makes no sense.
The explanation they give outsiders is they want youthful idealism untainted by cynicism. What they don't tell you is that they take kids with stated interest in politics and put them in an advanced highly competitive Leadership Academy which is like Model UN mixed with Battle Royale. Well, they don't kill each other but it's intense. It's like what the clones went though just all diplomacy training and tea ceremonies all the time. Which is crazy but so Naboo.
Oh, and all the delegates for the royalty election run using pseudonyms for security. Imagine voting for the head of state but you can't run a background check. It's so crazy.
Why does Padmé dress like that? Well, fashion is one of Naboo's major industries so it's like she's wearing the entire Fall line catalog at once. To advertise not only the talent of her people, but to show how much they favor her. BUT that dress has multiple layers of padding and resin armor. And aforementioned spots for those little silver blasters. And it breaks up her silhouette making her harder to shoot. And it's so elaborate you pay more attention to the crazy dress and not if the person wearing it is really the queen or a decoy. Everything about Naboo is like this.
Queen Amidala has that weird accent while Padmé does not. Because all her handmaidens helped create the accent together so they all can imitate it. It's like if you gave girls at a rowdy sleepover the job of federal counterintelligence. That's what they came up with.
The handmaidens wear colorful identical clothes so you can't tell them apart, hoods to partially conceal their identity, and they don't wear the queen's fancy makeup. So one of them can be the queen and spy on people in the audience. Because the Naboo don't trust shit for shit.
Their public face is so silly to hide all the truly weird shit they do behind the scenes.
They use their reputation as artist hippies to conceal multiple layers of subterfuge and disguise their methods of self defense and assuage their paranoia due to wartime trauma and their disturbing colonial past. All of them are completely off their rocker even by Star Wars standards. And I love them so much. They put on a show so everyone thinks they have them figured out but what they have going on is far more weirder and more sinister than meets the eye. You know how catty, neurotic, and competitive art school students stereotypically are? Yeah, planet art student. Love them!
There you go, @charmwasjess
That's practically a summary of that whole scene.
Imagine just growing some space potatoes instead of this shit.
ok but anakin and obi-wan talking like danny and rusty from ocean’s eleven when they spend too much time together
listen, sometimes reaching a planet takes a lot of time and rex thought that cody was kidding when he told him to NOT let the two generals spend all their time together
and that’s how you get obi-wan and anakin finishing each other sentences but also not even speaking an understandable language to anyone else but them and saying shit like ‘ she has your…?’ ‘yeah’ ‘that means that she’s…’ ‘yeah’ ‘well you better…’ ‘yeah’
or ‘you wanna…’ ‘all yours’ ‘where should we…’ ‘start with the deck’
and they don’t even explain anything to rex? one time he asked them a question and they answered the exact same thing at the exact same time without even blinking, even clones don’t do that
cody only sighs when rex calls him desperately and says ‘they’re doing the weirder-than-usual ‘one mind in two bodies’ thing, aren’t they?’ and rex is almost shaking and screaming ‘THEY’RE FREAKING ME OUT CODY’
#rex saw anakin having an argument with obi wan for 3 entire minutes #and the whole time obi wan didn’t even look up from his holopad or OPEN HIS MOUTH #anakin ended up saying ‘you’re right of course you’re right I’m glad we had this conversation’ #rex cursed the eccentric space wizards and their creepy telepathy bullshit because @obiwanobi‘s tags deserve to be rebloggable.
requested by @smugglerandfarmboy
(insp.)
Franz Kafka//Attack of the Clones (2002) dir. George Lucas//Anaïs Nin//Katherine Clements// Wild Space, Karen Miller//Bertolt Brecht//Revenge of the Sith (2005) dir. George Lucas
«I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire» pls check out my tiktok: darkkdevil049
OBI-WAN KENOBI + ART (part 1)
Wanderer above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich A Monk by Thomas Stuart Smith Saint John the Baptist by Guercino After Flodden by William Brassey Hole Christ on the Mount of Olives by Gyula Benczúr The Remorse of Judas by Christopher Williams Saint Joseph and the Christ Child by Adam Elsheimer Etude pour la mort du moine by Alphonse Osbert If Thou Had'st Known by William Brassey Hole The Good Samaritan by Ferdinand Hodler
Every named Jedi in Star Wars: The Clone Wars
