Clown Milk

🪲19🐞 professionally silly little guy he/they/it

[obey-the-milkman]

i have tiny jester men dancing around in my head with their little bells on their shoes and their hats

[weltenwellen]

Leila Chatti, from “I Went Out to Hear”

[leolaroot]

a kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you're best friends

[tboychewtoy]

parents be like "my daughter turned out completely fine!!" your son whines like a dog when he jerks off

[pathetic-tboy]

"autistic couples are so cute!! their little relationships are so adorable🥺" u would not say this if u saw the sex we have

[hungry-skeleton]

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

[hungry-skeleton]

Girl you do NOT want my scared ass behind the wheel I'll take you all with me whether I'm trying to or not

[presentlydean]

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

[mouthbrood]

having withdrawals from. the river

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

[tigersharks]

[glewmie]

[angelnumber27]

This blog is one several-year-long conversation with myself and you are all just along for the ride

[molabuddy]

the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[molabuddy]

in this way fanworks are like necromancy

[the-muppet-joker]

YOUTUBER STRANGE ERONS IS IN MY HOUSE! SHE HAS TAKEN THE FORM OF A CURSED DOLL AND INVITED ONE OF HER BEASTS! ITS EYES BECKON ME INTO HELL, AND I PISS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR AT ITS CALL! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!

[strange-aeons]

YES

YES

YES

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you can domesticate one animal species of your choosing, which do you pick and why? explain your reasoning

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

things I've learned from this post

we act like this site is full of weirdos but actually most of us are basic bitches. 90% of you went with cheetahs, bears, crows, raccoons, hyenas etc

though i was surprised at how quickly moose became a frontrunner

none of you can follow instructions, i specifically said explain your reasoning

the exception being the many, many people who want to weaponize a swarm of ants/termites/wasps/insects with which to attack their enemies. (also bats and crows, for similar purposes.) where are you people getting all these enemies that need swarming. this is not an ethical use of swarms. swarms have rights. commit your own violence

the one wrong answer was the person who said canadian geese, as if they wouldn't turn on us in a hot minute. Jurassic Park situation in the making. they would unionize and start carpet-bombing jet engines on purpose. would bring commercial air travel to its knees overnight. do NOT teach geese new skills, so help me

shout out to that one person who said wolves. buddy i have some fantastic news

a lot of you just want to ride a crocodile/alligator. i worry this would not be comfortable for the crocodile/gator in question. that being said i would love to rub a crocodile's tummy

in conclusion, i would domesticate octopodes and train them to install & perform maintenance on underwater communications cables. also general underwater welding. they have the intelligence to perform complex tasks and honestly i think they'd enjoy it. i would also deploy an elite octopus fleet to sabotage oil rigs.

(my one concern is they would be recruited by the CIA for espionage purposes. given that dolphins, sea lions, belugas etc are already regularly pressed into military service by the U.S./Russian Military, this is a serious concern.)

[pukicho]

Not a furry but I think all humans should have tails because it would be soooo fucking sexy and hot and so sexy

[non-anonymous-anon]

Most suspicious post ever dude. You should think some things through♡

[obey-the-milkman]

puki is right, humans would be superior with tails

[filenamedotpng]

mans_life_weasels.jpg

[prokopetz]

I appreciate these old Man’s Life covers for proposing vaguely plausible fantasies of aspirational manhood. Could I beat a gorilla in hand to hand combat? Absolutely not. Could I beat thirty crazed weasels in hand to hand combat? Probably also no, but, like, you can at least see how that might play out.

[coveredinmetaldust]

My favorite entry in the “Man vs A Bunch of Small Animals That Want To Kill Him For Some Inexplicable Reason” genera will always be the one with the crabs

[obey-the-milkman]

This is what Amelia Earhart was facing

[depsidase]