I'm a meme with lost dreams

Y E E T | Jay-Cal | Spoilers | I want friends | 18 FUCKING FINALLY

[zero1infinity]

[tsukiyamas]

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

[diggly]

no one tell him

[analyticalsenshi]

Scheduling this to post on March 15 because it needs to happen.

[cannon-fannon]

March 15 again and here we go…

[i-am-and-proud]

March 15 fuckers

[tinafeysucks-deactivated2015040]

[w-for-wumbo]

it’s time

[nyehs-deactivated20140525]

ITS NOT TIME ITS FUCKING MARCH I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS

[ewaneneollav]

it’s time

[slydilustrous]

237 more days till halloween! ITS LIKE NEXT MONTH GUYS

[hockeylvr42]

I have a feeling someone had this queued for an entire year just so they could post this in march

[edeneye30]

I T S T I M E

[scruffymcwhiskers-blog]

ITS TIME

[flynn-science]

IT’S MARCH YOU ANIMALS

[laguzmage]

This scene happens with literally 0 context or build up whatsoever

[sirduke]

Nobody tell me what anime this is bc I don’t care but this looks disgusting where’s the flavor

[cybercrime-the-digital-criminal]

“You know it from anime and manga,” bitch isn’t Beef Stroganoff a Russian dish

[cybercrime-the-digital-criminal]

I just realized that they don’t even make the corkscrew noodles-

[cybercrime-the-digital-criminal]

I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who got aggressively offended about this.

[ayellowbirds]

i’m torn between agreement and being amused seeing westerners learn that Japanese people do to our cuisine what we do to Japanese food

[one-in-lemillion]

Boys don’t know this

[lesbian-toddhoward]

im going to fucking die

[1dietcokeinacan]

I’m too high for this omflsjdkfjdkfn

[cleopatronising]

hollywood wants what this has

[mapleburger]

My parents: if i had adhd and depression and found it hard to complete school work or hold a job I would simply stop being lazy

[yashas-strong-arms]

parents be like, rip to all the depressed people with adhd who fail to get things done and get more depressed as a result but im different

[spiderrrling]

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can't remember

[what-even-is-thiss]

*wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat*

WAIT IT’S CALLED A THROW PILLOW

[holorifle]

here is a super helpful website for this kinda thing!

the first result isn’t always the one you’re looking for but when you press enter it’ll give you a ton of words related to your query that’ll probably have what you’re wanting, or something better

here’s some examples:

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

thanks op

[great-tweets]

watch the whole thing, i’m begging you

[sushinfood]

this is NUTS

[ranger-truth]

Reblogging this again because I found out he’s actually the drummer in an all-mascot metal band called Charamel.

[hollowboobtheory]

wait a second

[therivalll]

This entire thread start to finish is fucking insane omfg

[coldtongue]

“you’re so polite!” thanks, I am afraid of you.

[veganlove]

[dizzyotter]

when i first saw this i thought the kittens were the lawyers

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[ghostscriesx]

consider also

[skinyyismydream]

[perfectalexander]

[lovethythrall]

[tiny-super-giant]

well this was a fucking journey

[superpagangirl]

[jasonptodd]

straight culture is “breakup prank” being a thing

[jasonptodd]

on their anniversary.

[beforeiletbro-deactivated202105]

and he still posted it????

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

Um…excuse me, but why is this labeled as “Straight Culture”? Are you saying this is something only straight people would do, because as a straight person, we aren’t all that stupid. I’m not saying that straight people are better than any other kind of person, I’m just asking that you don’t label us under something so offensive. I mean, how would you feel if I said that (in the right circumstances) this was “gay culture” or “trans culture” or “bi culture”. Doesn’t seem fair does it? Again, I’m not saying all gay/trans/bi people are stupid enough to do this, but neither are straight people. Thank you.

[jasonptodd]

shut up straightie

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

Oh, fuck you. I tried being as respectful as possible, but yet again you guys just read only what you want! I was just saying straight people aren’t bad people, we are just as good and bad as anybody who is LGBTQ+. You guys want to stop being generalized? Well then stop generalizing us!

[jasonptodd]

straight people are bad

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

Can you tell me why?

[jasonptodd]

being straight is unnatural

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

PFGHEYHADFBEHLNCD

WHAT!?

THAT IS LITERALLY THE STUPIDEST THING IVE EVER HEARD! XD

[jasonptodd]

being straight is a sin

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

You are joking right? Please tell me this is a joke. Surely nobody could be that stupid.

[jasonptodd]

no i’m serious

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

I’m starting to question how you have the IQ necessary to use a keyboard if you truly think you are correct here.

[jasonptodd]

it says right on the first page of the bible that god hates cishets

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

I’m going to argue against this in two parts.

I’m VERY sure that the bible says that god hates gays. (which I don’t agree with)

SINCE FUCKING WHEN WAS THE BIBLE A RELIABLE SOURCE!?

[jasonptodd]

“GOD created Adam and Eve and realized cishets were a mistake.” is the opening line of the bible

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

It is very clearly not. I’m pretty sure that “cishets” was not a term used back when the bible was written.

[jasonptodd]

that’s fake, actually

[the-lost-goat-deactivated201802]

Ok, I’m done. Say waht you want, but you are wrong and everyone knows it. You can stop trying now. It would be a waste of your energy, not that I care anyway.

[angelbabyspice]

they went and googled the opening fucking line lahlahlusdfghajlfghjl;adhgat

[wha-et-deactivated20210209]

straight culture is freaking the fuck out at being slightly made fun of and doing the absolute most to prove they’re right

[nourrice]

they didn’t text you back because they didn’t want to ok??? go do a clay mask its fine

[borderlinesuggestions]

this post makes me scream

[sightofsea]

nothing is better than finding a walking stick

[sightofsea]

*out in nature* *sees a thick n smooth stick that’s as tall as me* oh fuck. oh fuck yes. i have magic now

[kaijuno]

Literally no one ever is gonna just give away their weed for free. Grow up

[worldoffizz]

[neopetsuser-deactivated20210119]

my pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

[neopetsuser-deactivated20210119]

i literally cant stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like i dont feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it but i do feel like doing a heist

[neopetsuser-deactivated20210119]

call the cops bitch ill have sex with them

[just-abnormal-human]

This feels like a the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a heated phone call

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.