Since What If came out, I’ve been getting a lot of flack from people I know about Steve X Peggy, (and Steve going back being a bad thing) and it’s honestly getting so tiring. Do you know of any posts, etc. I could use to help explain why Steve’s “obsession” with Peggy and his desire to go back aren’t unhealthy, etc?
First, I’m gonna advise you do something that I myself need to do so much more of, okay?
Don’t feel you need to justify liking the things you like. Seriously. So far as I know, you’re not in an election, and even if you were, fictional pairings probably wouldn’t be on the ballot. This isn’t an actual “issue” issue, like racism, climate change, vaccination, homophobia, etc. You don’t owe anyone a dissertation about why you like X or Y, you don’t have to justify it. It’s enough that you get enjoyment from it. If other people don’t? Whatever, different strokes, different folks. If someone’s giving you too much flak about it? They’re being an asshole, you should continue to enjoy yourself. Ultimately, so much of this is about personal taste, and that is not only okay, but as it should be.
As I said, advice I so need to take. So, that out of the way, here’s the next bit:
Steve did not dig Peggy up after her death and try to get Tony or Doc Strange or someone to bring her back from the dead. That would have been unhealthy and obsessive. And if you think I’m being ridiculous in making that comparison, you have not read enough comics, because all kinds of people be grave robbing in comics to get their people back.
People say he couldn’t let go of her? He did. She fucking died, and he didn’t pull a Wanda (no disrespect to Wanda, I love my beautifully damaged, badly in need of therapy SW, leave her alone) and try to bring her back. He let go of her. Twice, once when he crashed the plane, once when she died. He did let go of her.
He was then given a chance to return to her, to have someone he loved back. He took it, as 95% of people who’ve lost a loved one—not just a lover but anyone they cared for on that level—would have at least seriously considered doing, if not outright gone through with. Monica Rambeau says it in Wandavision, that if she had the chance to get her mom back, she would want that too. In Steve’s case, you can bitch about the fraudulent TVA all you want, but he had a chance to get Peggy back after already letting go of her, twice, without causing any of the damage Wanda did with Westview. He took it. He didn’t hurt anyone else by taking it, he didn’t enslave a town or shatter a timeline, he got a chance to live the life that he would have had the first time, if he and Peggy both survived the war.
He did let her go. Twice. He then was presented a scenario in which he didn’t have to, and he reacted like a human being. Oh my god, fuck you, burn in hell Steve.
What happened to Steve, being frozen for 70 years - living in one time period for a decade then finding a way to go back to one’s one time period via time travel, isn’t going to happen to us in real life. It’s hard to fairly judge something as unhealthy when we’re talking about something as magical/unreal as this. And that’s assuming you’re judging as a trained mental health professional and not a raging fan who’s pissed that their ship didn’t sail.
Besides which, 90% of the people who complain about this stuff would be praising it as a masterpiece, if it were applied to someone other than Peggy. Oh, Steve’s unhealthily obsessed with her, but he’s also a piece of shit for not building his entire life and identity around Bucky. “Til the end of the line!” If Steve dares to form a strong emotional connection with anyone other than Bucky, he’s actually fed Bucky into a woodchipper and spit on the remains.
Steve’s not supposed to move on, he’s supposed to move on from the person they don’t like.
If Steve behaved the exact same way with X non-canon lover of choice? Beautiful. Perfection. Such loyalty. Soulmates. But it’s Peggy so, it’s obsession and creepy and wrong, fuck you, rot in prison with the rest of the stalkers, Steve.
Similar thing with Stony, though honestly I find the annoying faction of that fandom to be much less annoying. If Steve were to use that time travel to go back and save Tony in the EG battle or, even better, save Tony from bad, awful Howard, actually the worst parent in the world? They’d be pushing Steve into that time machine themselves.
Usual disclaimers apply. There’s nothing wrong with Stucky or Stony in general, or their fanbases in general. I’m talking about specific fans who complain that Steve’s too into Peggy Carter, but at the same time want him to be little more than an emotional support animal for Bucky or Tony. You can’t fault the guy for not letting go of Peggy (which is literally untrue anyway), but in the same breath complain that he didn’t dedicate his every waking breath to your love interest of choice.
As for other posts, this is not extensive, but it’s something. Thanks to @followingyourbliss, @pegsccarter, @caleysteggy and @shepickedyoutotakeme for helping with this post.
https://cblgblog.tumblr.com/post/658494196712341504/i-think-about-this-photo-like-constantly-the-raw
https://cblgblog.tumblr.com/post/659420468961542144/lets-talk-about-this
https://cblgblog.tumblr.com/post/644534166227238912/for-a-lot-of-people-steves-journey-in-the-cap
https://caleysteggy.tumblr.com/post/618652998043926528/steve-rogers-character-progression
https://caleysteggy.tumblr.com/post/653629718040625152/some-people-move-on-but-not-us
https://drst.tumblr.com/post/650213672122253312/you-gotta-move-on
https://caleysteggy.tumblr.com/post/187782115320/endgame-steve-rogers
Hope that helps somewhat. Enjoy your fandom, don’t let others chip away at it for you.
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