Life and Times of an Autistic Obsessive Compulsive

[sixpenceee]

The movies that will really freak you out are the ones that are mind blowing and full of twists.

Tumblr has a lot of horror movie posts but I have yet to see a psychological thriller one, so here you go! Enjoy :)

Please look up a brief description of each movie to check for triggers before watching. 

Shutter Island (2010)

The Machinist (2004)

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Jacob’s Ladder (1990)

Black Swan (2010)

Memento (2000)

The Flock (2007)

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Anamorph (2007)

Martyrs (2008)

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

The 6th Sense (1999)

Side Effects (2013)

Sinister (2012)

Extracted (2012)

Red Lights (2012)

Sleep Tight (2011)

Absentia (2011)

I Saw The Devil (2010)

Frozen (2010)

Orphan (2009)

The Killing Room (2009)

The Broken (2008)

Awake (2007)

Inside (2007)

Mr.Brooks (2007)

Vacancy (2007)

Zodiac (2007)

Bug (2006)

Dark Water (2005)

White Noise (2005)

Hard Candy (2005)

Secret Window (2004)

Saw (2004)

Saw II (2005)

Saw III (2006)

Saw IV (2007)

Saw V (2008)

Saw VI (2009)

Saw 3D (2010)

Stoker (2013)

Frailty (2001)

What Lies Beneath (2000)

Identity (2003)

Mindhunters (2004)

Triangle (2009)

Spider (2002)

Flight Plan (2005)

Unknown (2011)

The Jacket (2005)

Stay (2005)

Seven (1995)

Tell No One (2006)

Das Experiment (2006)

Angel Heart (1987)

The Uninvited (2009)

The Others (2001)

The Skeleton Key (2005)

In Dreams (1999)

The Gift (2000)

Primal Fear (1996)

Deception (2008)

The Invisible (2007)

Arlington Road (1999)

Phone Booth (2002)

American Psycho (2000)

Cube (1997)

The Fourth Kind (2009)

Insomnia (2002)

[theproserpina]

I NEED TO POINT OUT THAT "IDENTITY" IS ONE OF THE MOST MIND BLOWINGLY AMAZING MOVIES I’VE EVER WATCHED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND IF YOU WANT YOUR MIND TO BE SO BLOWN THAT IT FEELS AS THOUGH ITS COMING OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH IT. 

[madeofbees]

One of the hardest parts of my life is trying to figure out whether or not I should get up or go back to sleep.

[darlinghepburn]

A collection of classic Old Hollywood Musicals and links to watch them online:

Top Hat (1935) Swing Time (1936) The Wizard of Oz (1939) Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942) Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) On The Town (1949) An American in Paris (1951) The Band Wagon (1953) Singin’ in the Rain (1952) A Star is Born (1954) Guys and Dolls (1955) High Society (1956) Carousel (1956) The King and I (1956) Gigi (1958) West Side Story (1961) The Music Man (1963) My Fair Lady (1964) Mary Poppins (1964) The Sound of Music (1965)

Note: I know there is a lot of great musicals missing from this collection and Im sorry

for my lovelies who requested it xo

[grandkanye-deactivated20130827]

imagine if giraffes had 2 legs

[daimboy]

[shingeki-no-justno-deactivated2]

That just looks like the front view of a giraffe.

[daimboy]

oh well excuse me princess do u need a sideview of it prancing through nature

[liberomagazine-deactivated20161]

[obsessivelyautistic]

June 24, 2014

I can't be that person for Jack anymore. I just can't. I helped for long enough. I just can't do it anymore. I hope he can understand that. I can be friends with him - best friends - but I can't talk about his mental stuff anymore. My therapist told me to hang in there for a bit because the meds will kick in soon enough, but I don't know. I don't know if I can hang in anymore. I'll figure it out. I'll bite my tongue for a bit. I'll see what happens. I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend, but I don't want to resent him. I just can't be that person anymore.

Also I think I have an exam Thursday? Fuck.

[lifewithra]

Who else does this?

[wolkenteiler]

Rare Candy Treatment.

[obsessivelyautistic]

June 19, 2014o

I hate this class I hate this class I hate this class. This fucking professor is so hung up on binary genders. He likes to bring everything back to the difference between men and women. He uses sex and gender interchangeably. You think a psych professor would be better about this. It's a fucking psychology class. I am so done with this. But the professor likes me. I think he would like me significantly less if I made a stink about this or came out as trans and was like wait stop no. I just want to get a good grade in is class and never have to interact with this professor again. But he keeps asking about my research plans and maybe he wants me to work in his lab but I don't want to have to have those conversations with him. I don't want to have to explain gender and sexuality and the difference between gender and sex. That just does not seem like a good time to me. 

But I think Jack is doing ok, so that's good. He's hanging with friends right now. I really really hope this med works for him. He's meeting with his psychiatrist tomorrow so that's good. Hopefully he'll meet with her again within a week or so, because now is the time that we find out whether or not it's working.

[speshurgurl]

[venusdebotticelli]

[ifyoudontl0veme-pretend]

Judging you if you don’t reblog this

[thatpunkrockflowerchild]

JESUS TAKE THE PRNDL

[fandomstuck]

do you ever get so frustrated with a video game that you are no longer rational and you start literally jumping into pits because maybe thats the fucking solution to this bullshit of a dungeon puzzle

[obsessivelyautistic]

June 15, 2014

Done a lot of nothing today. Helped my mom garden for a bit before I was interrupted by Frank, who needed my help finding a mental hospital for his friend. And I think I was helpful? I haven't heard from him since he called me. Of course my post scared a couple of my friends. Why does Charley need information on mental hospitals? Got a few panicked messages from friends, but everything was cleared up. I hope everything goes ok with her. Jack and I are on call if Frank needs us. He hasn't called yet, but the day's not done.

Apparently fatigue from Zoloft is hitting Frank hard. It's difficult for me to feel sympathetic, because fatigue is something I deal with on a day-to-day basis and this will only really be a thing in his life for the next week or so. But other then that the meds seem to be working out for him. I called him for a bit earlier today and he seemed fine. 

I've been better about taking salt pills since they upped my dosage on desmopressin. I seem to be feeling a little bit better because of it. I wonder if this is going to be a long lasting improvement if I keep up with salt and water and meds? At least I think I'm peeing less. And that's good, I guess. 

[obsessivelyautistic]

I never feel good, Norman, but life keeps moving.

Bates Motel

[obsessivelyautistic]

June 14, 2014

I spent the night over at Jack's last night. It was actually fun and not dramatic at all! Like he was ok. He was ok the entire time. It was like we were just friends. We spent the entire time doing normal friend activities - chilling, watching TV, just acting like two normal best friends do. And we stopped by Wildwood, which was fun. I needed that. I wonder if Brendan's ever going to show up? I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I'd really like to hook up with him again. That would be fun. But it was cool seeing the rest of them, especially Wes. And Jack really hit it of with Evan, one of the new guys. He flirted for the first time in forever, and it was so fucking adorable to witness. My aro best friend flirting ... so cute. And Mary called today! Jack and I talked to her for about an hour. We are a family, and every time I talk to Mary in Wyoming we feel more like a family. Friends don't do things like that. We are a family. Our kids are going to have the weirdest collection of aunts and uncles and something in between. I can't wait to go to these kids' weddings and meet their children (provided they have either). I can't wait to be a part of their lives. And I think - I know - that we'll all be ok in the end. We're going to be fine. And next semester is going to be better. Jack's going to be better. We'll all be good. 

[obsessivelyautistic]

I still miss Mr. Whyte. Watching Girl, Interrupted was a bad idea and a massive trigger for him. I just wish I could talk to him again. I wish I could tell him that I understood. I wish he had that from someone. He killed himself in a hotel room. A hotel room. At least I guess I'm glad his family didn't find him. Which is why he did that, I guess. I just wish he didn't. I wish I could go back and talk to him. I wish I could stop him. I wish someone had. I bet his family does, too. I wonder what his daughters are doing without him. He's the only reason I hope there is life after death, honestly. I just want a chance to talk to him again. I still have the image in my head of him hanging there, only now he's hanging in a hotel room. I don't know which image is worse, but this one is definitely lonelier.  

[obsessivelyautistic]

June 13, 2014

I pledge to use this blog every day now - to write down something every day, no matter what it is. Even if nothing big or dramatic happens, even if I think I have nothing to say. I want to make a record of what happens in my life. I think it could maybe help someone? Or maybe it could help me in the end. I don't know. But I want to record what goes on with me, because a lot tends to go on with me. Even if it's just in my head.

So, for an update. 

I am sitting in the lab I should be working in doing absolutely nothing. There are some instructions for RAs but I have no freaking idea how to complete any of them. I couldn't reach the graduate students that I'm supposed to be working under, so I've kind of just been sitting here for the past five hours. I think I might quit this lab and try to go work in Gelso's instead? Maybe they'll actually have something for me to do. I'll try emailing the grads again to see if they have any plans for me, but in the mean time I'll just see what happens. 

Jack's trying Zoloft. I have this weird feeling that this will be the med to work for him, just because he's turned it down twice. Because life is that fucked up. I'm just waiting anxiously for two weeks from now to see if the meds actually work. If they don't work, I at least hope they don't not work as dramatically as the Lexapro did. I don't think that will happen, just because at least he know the warning signs this time. I just hope this medication works for him. I really really want to see Jack be Jack again. I miss him so much. I just want my friend back. But he's finally talking to his therapist about intrusive thoughts and coming up with adaptive coping mechanisms, so even if the meds don't work at least he's on the right track.

[obsessivelyautistic]

First day of chem labs: uses gloves and goggles to measure distilled water

Last day of chem labs: spills silver nitrate all over hand and wipes it on pants