Omnivourous Lawn-Clippings

Chelsea. 31. She/her. Geoscientist. Queer AF. I got a Masters degree so that's neat. Made of dirt and craft beer. Profile pic by @cabezadealteza

[gay--dog]

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

[discount--dracula]

wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating

[garaks-padded-cell]

I just had 3 crackers with chutney and sharp white cheddar . Then i had a ring of pineapple. I started to levitate, but i wasnt scared. Im not scared of anything

[shutupmerlin]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

[shutupmerlin]

Happy 2 year anniversary to the post that my old boss allegedly now has framed in his office, next to the recovered photo of his children.

[cryptotheism]

You can lure beautiful women to your home with slow cooked pork

[suigintou]

blew a .15 blood mana on the breathalyzer at a necromancy checkpoint and the guardsman demanded to search my carriage trunk for skeletons. needless to say i went for his crossbow

[kaijuno]

[unnamed-form]

not a wolf, not a dog, but a secret third thing

[to-be-called]

[kilncreatures]

here is probably the most whimsical and gormless creature ive made so far. just utterly permeable. under investigation for an allergy to tap water

[artbyblastweave]

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

[artbyblastweave]

Update! So we forgot about God

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

I always forget there are maga people on tumblr, this doesn’t feel like a website you’d find them on, so to keep them away:

Reblog if your blog is a maga free zone because if it wasn’t clear enough fuck ice, fuck maga, fuck Trump, Fuck Rowling, and fuck all the other bigots I missed

[bish0ps]

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

A second Dollar General has hit the server

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

[crypticisms-deactivated20201130]

the one time i tried to be high on shrooms in public it was in olympia i walked into this coffeeshop and ordered a medium thai tea and the barista says, “are you sure you dont want a large? everything is the same price.” and in my bewilderment i looked up at the drink board and literally everything was $2.65

[yuriartillery]

corium breath attack

[yuriartillery]

molten cement and fissile materials and control rods out in a straight line.

[siegemode]

yupp

[yuriartillery]

you fucking know it sister

[evilponds]

oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

[terrafey]

i love getting to briefly work in the same building as my dad what do you mean i can show up to his office, tell him i’ve got a call for him, and then hand him a banana as soon as he turns and he can’t do anything stop me

[terrafey]

POV your fully-grown child is working in your building

[moonybamboony-deactivated202508]

you guys gotta stop deactivating your blogs cause you're making it harder for me to go back in a reblog chain to remove the annoying additions

[arlo-maintenanceman]

I reblogged this specifically for the prev tag because it made me feel like I was having a stroke

[serps-up]

so happy and free