only human

little egypt // 23 // CA // leo // ig: katyana.spruth

[sa-dnesss]

did i actually relapse or did i just never recover

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

[oculus-infernum]

March 14, 2016

7:00 am - you wake up to the sound of a winter wind blowing through the trees outside your window. The air around you is crisp, clean, and comforting.You slowly begin to unravel the mess that is your pile of blankets.

8:00 am - You sit in silence. A whole car ride goes by, not a word was spoken. The stillness is like a never-ending scream, a cry you can only hear once you’ve been broken beyond repair, a cry coming from deep within your soul, a cry that begs for a release from the demons inside, from the chaotic and destructive thoughts. It radiates through your entire body, but when you open your mouth to speak, nothing comes out except for a gentle sigh.

[oculus-infernum]

sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will crush my soul.

[katyana-spruth]

“They say it’s painful to say goodbye to the one you love. You didn’t even grant me that”

— Navin E. (grant me an ending)

[katyana-spruth]

“You know, it’s true what they say. That you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone. And now you’re gone and I’m lost and everything is just shades of black and white and grey. And I know it’s too late and you can’t hear me but I want to say it anyway. I need you to know that I loved you. Wholly, truly loved. I need you to know that I regret every time I prioritized something over you because nothing is more important than the time we had together. My regret is like a blanket smothering me every day and I’m too panicked to get out. I can’t escape this feeling and without you here I never will. I know all this now, I just wish I had known it then.”

— (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[oculus-infernum]

a message for my generation

BE FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE.

Yes, EVERYONE.

Be nice to the people you love. Be nice to the people you hate. Be nice to the people who fall somewhere in between.

Be nice to the young. Be nice to the old. Be nice to those who agree with you. Be nice to those who don’t.

Hating others only hurts yourself.

When you harbor that intense hatred within yourself, and dwell in it constantly, you only poison yourself. That person you’re so worked up about doesn’t feel a fuckin thing.

Something bugging you? Speak up about it. We aren’t in preschool anymore, use your words and your intellect to get your point across - no need for hate or name calling. In fact, resorting to calling your fellow humans nasty names eliminates the chance of any progress.

BE. NICE.

You can disagree with someone and still love them.

Let me say that louder for the people in the back.

You can DISAGREE with someone AND STILL LOVE THEM

Just because they don’t share the same values as you do doesn’t mean they are any less of a person.

Disagreement doesn’t mean the end of a relationship. Disagreement doesn’t mean you get to hurt one another.

Be nice, be polite, love one another.

Is this really that complicated??

[aretherestarsinhell]

“i still love you. you know that right? i always did, probably always will. lord knows i was never good at letting things - or people - go.”

-and other things i’ll never tell you. c.r.

[oculus-infernum]

“I try and I try and I try to write and all that I can say is this: I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.”

— I am so afraid that I have built this up to something that it wasn’t or something that will never be; but the other day a girl gave me this advice: you can always do something crazy. You can find him in fifty years and say “I loved you and I never told you and so I am telling you now; I loved you.” and the knowledge that someday you can do something like that if it still feels right can help you make it through today. (via drunktextssextsandpoetry)

[oculus-infernum]

“i whisper, “please,” under my breath, over and over and over again. please, please, please; a mantra for a girl who doesn’t know how to ask for what she wants. i have had more than my fair share of miracles in this life, but i’m asking for one more.”

— please (via drunktextssextsandpoetry)

[oculus-infernum]

remember that day you came over and told me you loved me? remember how my puppy knew you were nervous and wouldn’t stop licking your face? remember how we sat in silence for a solid ten minutes while you worked up the nerve to tell me how you felt? remember when we stood in my backyard, looking out at the ocean and didnt give a shit that our friends were watching us just standing there holding each other? do you remember that?

I do.

I remember how you walked the whole way from your house to mine, even though it was the hottest day of the summer. I remember how I drunkenly told you I loved you while you were in Florida and how you teased me about it for the rest of your trip. I remember how you spent your one day back home sitting on the couch with me talking about how much you wanted to be with me.

Do you remember?

I remember the first time I realized I loved you. I remember how the first I came over to your house as your “girlfriend,” your little sister was begging us to kiss for the camera and wouldn’t leave us alone in case she missed it. I remember how you would stay up all night with me and let me cry to you about fighting parents and broken hearts. I remember how you would lecture me about wearing my brace and how you swore to hug me forever.

I remember when I forgot all these wonderful things. I remember how I ran away and broke both our hearts. I forgot how much you cared for me. I forgot how good we were.

I can remember now, why can’t you?

[oculus-infernum]

for never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo

[oculus-infernum]

brb changing my aesthetic https://www.instagram.com/p/Cksd6Q7uPQ143tj_dYfhhjM-2lcKj7E5AjjQ400/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[oculus-infernum]

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[caluummhood-deactivated20140506]

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

[jamesjoeboyleeeee-deactivated20]

the first post ever on tumblr

[powerpuffsposts-deactivated2025]

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

[kpopdotexe-blog]

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

[teenyweenynotepad]

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

[flamboynt-deactivated20151220]

I FOUND IT ✊

[addcolortomysky]

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

[blairisbae]

Who first posted this?

[ratbastarddotfuck]

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

[amberdamnn]

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

[kazekis]

HOLY F-

[cclllaaaaiiiiirrrreeeeee-deacti]

Hell yeah

[greaseitupalittle-deactivated20]

For Pony :)

[an-outsiders-sunset]

I’m gonna do it, for Johnny

[lovemerighthere]

🌻

[hellalowselfesteem]

heck

[dizzy-equestrian-blog]

I FOUND IT AGAIN OMGKMGOMG

[ocean-glint]

I will do my best in my exams, amen

In the name of the father, the son and holy spirit, amen

Amen and Nema

[anti-sxciall]

the OG y’all. I wish to be 120 by my birthday.

[greenteaandasmile]

I wish to be 50kgs and the best in all my classes 🌸

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

Other ways to say “I love you”:

i. My hands gravitate towards yours, fingers intertwine without trying, and lips touching without thinking.

ii. Whatever “soulmates” are, you are more than that to me.

iii. It’s as if I knew you from my past life, and how grateful I am to get the chance to meet you again in this one.

iv. Your heart is a black hole, the kind that pulls you into darkness with no way out, but the gravitational force is so great there is no escape for me, and even if scientists discovered a way out, I would never want to leave.

v. My heart was a barren field and you planted a bulb. You let me blossom and in time, I became a garden.

vi. All I see in your eyes are particles of eternity.

vii. Making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches becomes special when it’s with you.

viii. I was never afraid of death, but I’ve found myself more careful when crossing the street and walking home at late nights because I don’t want to miss anything.

[andymieintus]

the hunchback of notre dame // favorite lyrics