Odaatlover

He/Him | Author of "The Grind" | AO3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon

[odaatlover]

It is harder making/keeping friends the older you get, anon. I know all too well But don’t get discouraged and remember: “‘if they wanted to, they would’ applies to friendships too, so if you aren’t getting as good as you’re giving those ‘friends’ are not your people.

👆

[odaatlover]

What’s the secret to making friends as an adult? No one ever talks about the loneliness adults face. I’m lucky to have a partner but having friends outside of my partner sounds nice. Except every time I think I’ve made a friend, I’ve actually just made an acquaintance. I’ve been friend ghosted so many times irl and online. Really wish I knew what I’m doing wrong.

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ghosted! I know that hurts, especially when you don’t know exactly why. I don’t think there’s any kind of secret, it’s just about finding people that are like minded. Maybe sign up for things that are your special interest and start there so that you’re meeting people that that you have that in common with.

[odaatlover]

Jordan’s caramel sauce used to be good. Idk if I’ve just gotten bad batch or what but it’s much runnier now compared to before. It used to have a thick texture closer to actual caramel topping. Great for drizzles but not now. Might as well be a syrup instead of a sauce—it’s all liquid.

Hmm the one I have is still pretty thick, but it’s lasted me a while so maybe they did change the recipe 🤔

[odaatlover]

You’ve recommended PESciene protein before and it’s not bad (just on the expensive side), but what are some other protein powders that you like? Have you tried Legion or Devotion brands?

Also have you heard of/tried Javvy protein coffee? I keep getting ads for it and I’m so tempted to buy it.

I haven’t tried either of those! Honestly I found PEScience years ago when I first started using protein powder and haven’t branched off from it. The only other ones I’ve tried are gross ones at Walmart lol. I haven’t heard of Javvy, but if you try it let me know if it’s good!

[odaatlover]

What’re your fave protein bars? Because some are straight up inedible lol. Certain Quest ones like their lemon or white chocolate raspberry are good. If I feel like splurging Barebells Salty Peanut and Birthday cake flavors are top tier. I have not found a Built flavor I enjoyed. But I don’t like marshmallow.

Dive protein bars are elite but they are only available online and on the higher end but so freaking good! Too good actually; probably not even healthy lol.

My go-to is always Quest - specifically chocolate chip cookie dough. I like the Lemon one too! And Blueberry Muffin. I’ve had Barebells and it’s pretty good too!

My splurge is the Robert Irvine Fitcrunch chocolate peanut butter bars. They’re high calorie and the macros aren’t as good, so it’s like a treat I’ll get on special occasions when I’m craving a candy bar. Or when I’ve done a long run lol

[odaatlover]

And cooking at home extends to iced coffees! With a little effort they can be just as good as your favorite coffee shop! I mean, yeah, they aren't gonna taste the same, but they can still be good! Keep in mind that whole 2% and oat milk can range from 120-200 calories alone depending on size, then your syrups/drizzles are another 60-80. My favorite iced coffee is an iced salted caramel, if I got the standard recipe every day that would be an entire meal's worth of calories (it's 420 in a medium!! And that's assuming they are measuring out correctly). You can easily recreate it at home for less; it won't taste exactly the same b/c lower calorie milks are watery, and some of the goodness of iced coffees is the fat from milk, but still!

Anyway, sorry to blab on, but I saw a quote once that said the secret to 'weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise' and I think those are very true words.

Absolutely! We’ve got a whole coffee station and a cabinet of sugar free zero calorie coffee syrups. I’ll add in unsweetened vanilla almond milk, some sugar free syrup, and about 5g of protein powder. I’ll combine that mixture with a frother before pouring in the coffee, and then top it with some fat free whipped cream and Jordan’s zero calorie caramel sauce. If you’ve never had that caramel sauce, I highly recommend it! If I want a bit more protein I’ll use fat free Fairlife milk instead of the almond milk. But I’ve gotten so used to my own drinks and I love them so much, that now a Starbucks latte doesn’t even taste that good to me. I like my drinks to taste like a dessert and Starbucks tastes too much like coffee for me now 😂 But yeah, a lot of people don’t realize how many calories are in those things!

[odaatlover]

Jumping in with the weight loss convo: I know it’s not always feasible to cook every meal at home; people work and are tired and fast food really is convenient. You can absolutely stay in a calorie deficit if you eat out, but the important thing that people lose sight of is that you have to minimize how often you’re getting fast food.

The best thing that helped me, and maybe it’s the same for the other anon, is preparing food at home. Easier to track and you become more mindful of what you’re consuming. Exercise is good and all but if you’re eating calorie dense food multiple times a day exercise might not help you reach your goals in the long run.

Again, I know that’s not always an option for busy parents or people with multiple jobs but thinking of dining out more as a special treat rather than every day thing will greatly help you.

This is so true! A lot of fast food places or restaurants will cook in oil and not include that even if they do list nutrition facts. 1 tbsp of oil is 120 calories so that alone can really add up. Something more like sandwiches would be more beneficial, but it’s still difficult to get an accurate idea of the calories and macros when you don’t have the ability to weigh stuff out.

When preparing food at home you know exactly what you’re consuming. And although nutrition labels aren’t exact, you can get a much more accurate idea than with fast food or meals at a sit down restaurant. Even with a busy lifestyle it’s possible to throw some ingredients in a crock pot on a Sunday night or something, and then portion that out into containers for the week. There are some easy grab and go options too. When I go to the office my go-to lunch is tuna on rice cakes, Greek yogurt cup, salted roasted edamame snack pack, light string cheese, and some fruit. Plus a protein bar as a snack. Everything is grab and go and takes 30 seconds to throw in a lunch box and head out the door, and I get plenty of protein.

Look for easy meal prep ideas or quick high protein meals and you’ll find so much information online that’s manageable even for a really busy lifestyle.

Thanks for the input, Anon!

[odaatlover]

Do you have feeling in your nipples? If not does it effect you? I want top surgery but I’m worried about losing sensation in my nipples

Hey there! I have a little bit of feeling. It’s kind of like if you touch yourself over a shirt, you can tell something is touching you but it doesn’t feel like direct touch and there’s no sensitivity. It doesn’t affect me personally because I’ve actually never enjoyed touches there. I’m autistic and have sensory issues so I’m very particular about certain touches, so I was actually hoping to no longer have sensation.

I know there are some surgery techniques that can be used to preserve nipple sensation, but depending on what size you are some of these might not be an option, or might end with unattractive results. It all depends on what your priorities are with top surgery, but I recommend discussing this with your surgeon (or different surgeons) and seeing what your options are!

[odaatlover]

Hi! Weight loss anon, here. It’s been a while. I’m happy to share I’ve lost over 60lbs since I first sent you an ask! Lol

I’m back looking for advice again, hope you’re still around…

If I remember you worked out at home, right? I’ve recently cancelled my gym membership (45 a month and they were hiking it up another 5 🙄) and am worried about losing all my progress. I have a sedentary job and going to the gym kept me on track. I know walking is an alternative but it’s so easy to fall off the wagon. I won’t do PF, they’re just too scummy.

Staying in a calorie deficit is half the battle, so what advice do you have for at home exercising?

This is AMAZING 🤩 Super proud of you for the hard work and consistency you’ve put in!

I do work out at home and have a home gym setup currently, which I know isn’t always feasible for everyone. What are your goals? To lose more fat? Have you reached your fat loss goal and are now looking to build muscle and tone up? Are you looking to just be active in general or build cardiovascular health?

To lose fat it’s mostly going to be diet and work in the kitchen - I’d say 85% at least. Being in a caloric deficit from focusing on your diet helps you lose fat, and working out just helps you lose fat a bit fast while toning up. Although, I know I don’t need to tell you this since you’ve already lost 60lbs, but this is mostly for anyone who may be reading!

If you’re looking to build muscle and tone up, I’d say start out with getting some dumbbells and a mat. Eventually a bench maybe, if you enjoy exercises that involve bench stuff. You can either do your own thing like you were at the gym, or you can work out with a video. There are plenty of free ones on YouTube as well as subscription options.

If your goal is still to lose more fat, I would suggest a few workouts a week to tone alongside increasing your NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis). These will be things like taking the stairs instead of the elevator/escalator, parking at the furthest parking spot in the lot, standing at your desk if you work in an office (you can get a riser to put your monitors on so that you can lift it and lower it), maybe even get an under the desk elliptical.

I also work a sedentary job, but here are things that I do to help get some movement in:

- 20 minute walk before work to get blood flowing (this helps put me in a good mood and boosts my mental health)

- Using my two 15 minute breaks to talk a short walk or do some much-needed stretching

- Meal prep my lunch and eat while I work, then use my 30 minute lunch break to take a midday walk to get some air and move around

- 20-40 minute walk after work

Believe it or not, all of these walks that I do are more so for my mental health than for exercise or to burn calories. It boosts the endorphins, and getting fresh air feels really nice after being inside all day. I use this time to listen to podcasts or audiobooks that I enjoy. I only allow myself to listen to these things when I’m walking, so it also gives me something to look forward to and get excited about.

Sounds like you’ve already built a strong foundation of good habits and routine. The gym may have helped keep you on track, but you’ve still got the knowledge that you’ve gained as well as your meal routine, which is the most important part of the equation. The gym can be replaced with many other options for movement, so I have no doubt that you will continue down that path toward reaching your goals.

Hope this helped!

[odaatlover]

Did you quit tumblr?

I check in every once in a while to answer any asks that come through! But I’m not checking social media in general very often these days, admittedly.

[odaatlover]

I used to read The Grind years ago but kind of fell off of AO3 for a bit. I logged on last night for the first time in ages to see that you’d finished it so I will have to re-read the entire fic to experience it in all his glory. The chapter title “Watermelon Time” rings a bell so I think I at least got that far before

Let me know what you think! I’m sure it’ll be very interesting to re-read it now and see the evolution of my writing as the chapter progress 😆

[odaatlover]

Reunion | Odaatlover

Get more from Odaatlover on Patreon

I'm going to be posting a cute and spicy trans Cole fic next Monday on Ao3 for all of you who are interested 😃 If anyone wants to read it now, early access is available for members on my Patreon

[odaatlover]

Is everyone excited to see some more Wynonna Earp on our screens this year 🤠

[odaatlover]

Folks lined up just to watch him flex And this perfect package packs a pair of pretty pecs

[odaatlover]

Really freaking proud of how far I’ve come in my fitness journey since my surgery 🙌 I’ve gained 15lbs - some of that being fat expectedly. And now, I’ve entered the cutting phase to shed that fat while maintaining the muscle I’ve built. Check back in May to see my results 💪

The main reason I’m doing this is to prep for Summer as it’ll be my first one where I’m able to be shirtless out in the sun 🥹 And I want to be as confident in my body as possible lol. I’m already healthy and fit, but I want to take it a step further and see if I can get the 6 pack I’ve always wanted 💪

[odaatlover]

I want to start T but I’m terrified of bottom growth. Reading your trans cole fics have made it sounds really awesome but I don’t know if I’ll like it. I think I might but I think it scares me that I can’t go back if I don’t like it since it’s there forever. Did you feel this way?

Hey there! I think this is common for a lot of people wanting to start T based on what I’ve seen, so you’re definitely not alone! For me personally bottom growth was a huge selling point because that area is the biggest point of dysphoria for me.

I’m gonna get a really personal here as I share my experiences, but when have I not gotten personal on this blog 😂 I’ve never in my life enjoyed penetration. And I don’t just mean I’ve always had trouble enjoying it, I mean I’ve always hated it so much that I’ve never even fully tried it. As a teen I tried fingering myself one time, and literally two seconds later I was like nope nope nope nuh uh NOPE. And never again has anything ever been in there. I just knew from early on that it wasn’t right for me and so I’ve always disassociated from that part of my body and pretended like it didn’t exist - as I still do today. I could only experience pleasure if I imagined I had a penis, and this is something that I’ve experienced literally from the very beginning of puberty. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s like my brain tells me I’m supposed to have one, like it’s just so wired in me. How did I not know I was a trans guy? Beats me…I thought this was a common experience for girls and everyone just wished they had a penis 😂😅

Because of this mental disconnect from that part of my body, everything involving sex was a huge struggle for me. I could only use toys during solo times because it was easier to convince myself that way and actually touching myself would remind me that it wasn’t real. And when it came to sex with another person I never received, only gave. I had accepted that I’d never get to experience sex like people usually do, and I had made my peace with it.

So when I was discovering myself and doing research on testosterone and how it changed that area, I was shocked. I was like, is this real? Could this really happen? And it has really changed my life. I’m able to connect with my body in a way where before there was such this huge disconnect. I still struggle with dysphoria and sex, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was before. Eventually I want to get bottom surgery - currently leaning way more towards metoidioplasty — as I know that’s going to make it even better. But for now, bottom growth has really been one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I’m not as pissed off at the world 😂 Don’t get me wrong, I still envy cis guys and get pissed off about it sometimes, but now it’s only occasionally instead of 24/7 lol

So, it can definitely be pretty awesome. Especially if you’ve always wanted to have at least something down there. But if that’s not you, it’s really not that different because it won’t be huge you know? It all depends on your perspective. But I will say, you definitely do experience random boners, especially in like the first year. Of course nobody will be able to see it, but you can definitely feel it, and it can get very distracting and annoying. But over time it calms down more. That and having to wear boxers now are the main things I’ve had to get used to. And keeping it clean like uncircumcised cis guys do.

This was probably way more information than what you asked for, but I hope this helps!

[odaatlover]

Did you enjoy my WayHaught fic A Painting is Worth A Thousand Words? Wanna see what Cole and Waverly are up to? Here's a *Haught* little update featuring some jealous Waverly 😉

http://archiveofourown.org/works/52495924