you really make me want to fly ; @odessabailey - Tumblr Blog

ODESSA BAILEY ( JESSICA SULA ) is an EIGHTEEN year old from KERNERSVILE, NC. SHE is known around the island as THE GO-GETTER because she is AMBITIOUS and RELENTLESS but can also be NO-NONSENSE and INDIFFERENT.

#wilds.intro

jocelyn-king:

Joss was combing her fingers through her hair mindlessly, in an effort, albeit mostly in vain, to tame it so that she might be able to pull it into somewhat of a neat bun and away from her face and neck. She didn’t like the humidity in the jungle, she felt like she was sweating more now than she had on the beach or even in the cave and she just felt sticky. Always sticky.

“What the fuck?” she said out loud as her fingers snagged on a knot in her long hair and pulled out a clump of strands as she pulled them away. She stared at the hair for a moment or so before shaking it off of her hand and letting it fall to the ground, “Great,” she chimed, “My roots are showing, my skin is falling off, I’ve got a break out on my chin and now I’m going fucking bald- next my bloody teeth are going to fall out,” she whined, frustrated with the week’s events and the unpleasantness of their new camp’s locations. “I’m so over this,” she muttered to herself.

She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and moved closer to the center of camp then,

“Can somebody braid my hair please?”

-

Odessa was sat on a log, writing in one of the Dawn of Eve journals that was positioned on her lap. She was noting down a list of concerns, things that needed to be addressed now that they were located somewhere different. Like how they were going to keep an eye out for rescue boats in the ocean if they were all the way in the jungle. Rescue watch? She’d written as a potential solution. SOS signs along shore? was another she’d noted down. If they weren’t primarily going to be located on the beach, there had to be something there that let others know people were on the island and they needed help. It was then that she heard someone speak, looking up to find Joss stood near the center of camp. Her lips tugged to the right slightly, a small smirk forming. “I’ve got you,” she spoke up, closing the notebook, her pen lodged in between the pages so she could go back to it once she was done volunteering her services. She waved Joss over then. This was going to be fun, she thought. Joss wasn’t someone Odessa spent a lot of time with but she figured that could change.

#thread / joss.

elisejaegar:

-

elise nodded understandedly when Odessa referenced the lack of privacy, it was something that was a shock to her, someone who spent most of her time on her own. too dangerous to wander out on your own, too suffocating to spend all your time in a group, it wasn’t the most comfortable way to live. “right,” she smiled at the mention of their lack of sobriety. “oh..” this is odd it’d be so long since she had been on the other end of an apology that it felt off and her skin was hot. elise’s feet shifted a litte on the dirt below, letting out a deep breath of relief that this wasn’t about her own past. “it’s okay, really, thank you but you’re not a bitch.”

“can i ask you something?” she knew that none of what she was curious about was any of her business but the hope for some context was too strong for elise to resist. “what’s going on with you and izzy? if you know, you’re comfortable telling me.”

-

Elise was surprisingly chill on the matter. Odessa didn’t know whether to be grateful or curious. Though honestly, she was tired as hell at the moment so if she was going to be curious, it’d have to wait till tomorrow. Thank you but you’re not a bitch. “No, I am,” Odessa said with a bobbing head, sure of the matter and not wanting Elise to deny it for the sake of making the conversation more pleasant. It’s not like Odessa had distaste for the label either. It’s just what she had a tendency for being from time to time. She didn’t feel strongly about it.

Can I ask you something? Odessa didn’t expect Elise to have a question but she wasn’t against it. “Yeah, shoot.” She was in the wrong between the both of them so she wasn’t opposed to giving Elise more of her time or answers depending on what Elise asked. What’s going on with you and Izzy? Aaaand suddenly she wanted to take back what she said a second ago. Don’t shoot. Aim that question somewhere else. Odessa licked her lips, glancing to the side momentarily as she thought of what to say on the spot. If she wasn’t here apologizing, she would have said ‘no, I don’t feel comfortable telling you’ but given everything, Odessa felt Elise deserved something. Especially after what she did.

“We’re just– really close,” she settled for saying. “Probably closer than we should be right now.” It was an answer without getting into it. While Odessa was appreciative that Elise accepted her apology, she didn’t think she owed the blonde a more thorough explanation than that either. “It’s fine though. We worked it out.” Not exactly but Odessa wanted this part of the conversation to be done with.

#thread / elise.

clarkewalling:

…

of all things odessa could have told her for why she was out in the jungle in the middle of the night, she did not expect that reason to be that she was crying. out of the two of them, clarke was more likely to be crying in the middle of the night. in fact, she has most nights. but odessa seemed so much more put together than any of the other eves. though, maybe that’s why she seemed put together, because she saved her emotions for when she was alone. “oh-” clarke said, looking away from the other girl, embarrassed for her. “i’m sorry, i didn’t- i didn’t know,” of course she didn’t but she didn’t know what else to say. this was not how she pictured her night going, this was supposed to be a quick thing. get in and get out. and now she had to deal with this before going about her business. “right, yeah, no, i wont tell anyone, promise.” she looked back over at odessa, offering her soft smile in the darkness, reassuring her that she wasn’t going to tell. “do- do you want to talk about it or…?”

-

“Don’t sweat it,” Odessa assured, giving a wave of her hand. “It’s not like you’d have known.” Obviously. Unless Clarke was psychic. Odessa shifted her weight from foot to foot, looking at anything other than Clarke for a moment till that feeling of embarrassment settled and she could push it away. But it worked. The vulnerability. Clarke promised not to tell. Odessa didn’t know the other girl too well but she didn’t seem like the type to break her word, so she was trusting her. “Thanks,” she said, even if the word came out sort of stilted and forced. When Clarke extended an offer to ‘talk about it’, Odessa bit her lip. She should have known that was coming. She felt a bit annoyed with herself for not foreseeing it. “Honestly? Not really.” Odessa pushed out a breath. “Not to be a bitch or anything. I know you’re just trying to be really nice, there for me, and I appreciate that. I just think talking about it might make me want to rip my skin off. It’s not you. I’m just...” In serious need of therapy? “Difficult.” Always has been one way or another when it came to things like this. She pushed out a sigh, running a hand through her hair.

“So... your, uh, loo,” Odessa started after a moment. “Think you could do a solid and not pick here for it?” For so many reasons, Odessa did not want this to be the new piss spot. So many. Regardless of if that’s what Clarke was actually doing or not. “I just...” She put her hand on the tree, patting it. “...I really like banging my forehead on it and it’d suck if tomorrow, there was a hole right where I’m standing filled with piss and shit.”

#thread / clarke.

elisejaegar:

elise had been resting after what felt like a long day moving around to their new location. the group seemed in as good of spirits as they could be considering how abruptly the ocean had made it’s prescense known, taking with it a decent amount of their belongings. elise had been considering her misfortunate that her suitcase, her reminder of home had survived when she felt a tap on her shoulder, startling her for a moment.

“oh, hey.” she sighed, relieved that there was no danger, just odessa. “no, yeah, sure.” she said, getting up and then clarifying what she meant. “no i’m not doing anything, yeah sure, we can chat.” she wasn’t drunk enough to forget her night completely, there had been something going on with that dare from last night, and elise could only assume it was about that, the move or odessa knew exactly who she was. “what’s up, you ok?”

-

At Elise’s clarification, Odessa couldn’t help the upward twitch of her lips, finding the awkwardness endearing. “Right, yeah.” With a tilt of her head, she gestured to the direction she planned to walk in and led Elise away from the group. Now at a distance, with some space between them and the group and as much privacy as they were going to get without being too far away, Odessa spoke. “Thanks for... you know, walking out here with me. I would’ve done this over there but it just felt kind of impersonal with everyone around, so...” She pushed out a little breath then went into why she wanted a moment of Elise’s time. “I wanted to apologize,” she told Elise. “The details are a bit hazy since we were all a bit... you know, turnt–” A half-hearted roll of her eyes at the ironic word choice. “–last night, but uhh... I know I put you in the middle of something you shouldn’t have been in, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I was being a bitch, and you got caught in the crossfire.” She pressed her lips together, regretful of her poor behavior in the cave.

#thread / elise.

clarkewalling:

…

that was a bad excuse, clarke knew it as soon as it came out. she wasn’t great at thinking on her feet. so when odessa called her out on it, she didn’t even blame her, it was a bad lie. “well… mother nature doesn’t always wait for the morning,” she said with a shrug. clarke looked back to the other girl when she pushed on, making small talk. “uh, no, not really. everything from today, i guess. it’s just keeping me up.”, her eyes glancing around odessa, wondering why exactly she was wandering around the jungle in the middle of the night. her eyes landing on the tree she had be looking at just before clarke had walked up. what was she doing? “what are you doing out here so late?” she asked, being brave.

-

With the question turned to her, Odessa pressed her lips together. “I...” She started, unsure where she wanted to go with this. She could say something outlandish and inappropriate – like she was here to let out a massive fart – but figured that would come off more strange than anything. So instead, Odessa bit the bullet and decided to use vulnerability as an excuse. “...was going to... cry.” She dug her teeth into her bottom lip, looking away for a moment like admitting that was so shameful to her before turning face to Clarke again. “Listen, it’s just – today’s been tough, alright? The ocean nearly took me out, we moved spots... Sometimes a bitch just needs to wail and I didn’t want the attention of anyone at camp, or even the possibility of anyone seeing me, so–” Odessa sighed. It wasn’t so far from the truth. In fact, saying it out loud now, crying felt like the perfect solution to solve how Odessa was feeling in all honesty. But she hated it, expressing her emotions in a way that was so raw. “Look, can you be cool about this and not tell anyone? I just... don’t wanna come off like someone who doesn’t have it together, you know?”

#thread / clarke.

clarkewalling:

…

she didn’t think about how dark it was going to be in the jungle compared to on the beach. it seemed like the moon couldn’t quite break through the treetops which made walking through the jungle at night much harder than it was on the beach. she probably should have grabbed the flashlight but with how disorganized everything was after the tide and the move, clarke wasn’t even sure where it was or if it was able to be saved this morning. as she stumbled through the jungle, assuming everyone else was asleep, she froze in her tracks when she hears a voice. “odessa?” she called out in a whisper, following where she had heard the other girl. pushing through some of the ferns to see the other girl close to a tree. “s-sorry, i didn’t mean to startle you, i was just, um, trying to find a new spot for the loo.” she covered up quickly.

-

“Clarke?” What the hell was Walling doing up right now? Odessa cursed herself silently for not doing a headcount before she departed from the group. “It’s alright,” she assured the other girl, letting out a sigh of relief seeing as it was just another Eve and not a deadly predator. I was just, um, trying to find a new spot for the loo. Odessa’s brows pulled together. “At night?” She asked, clearly suspicious of that answer. “I think you’re better off doing that when it’s light out...” She pointed out, regardless of how wary she was about what Clarke was actually doing out here. Odessa scratched at the back of her neck a little, the awkwardness setting in now that she couldn’t go about her business seeing as Clarke was here. “Could you not sleep?” She asked, making conversation now since it’s not like she’d be having the moment alone she desired.

#thread / clarke.

WHO: @elisejaegar WHEN: Evening, once the Eves have settled into their new camp WHERE: New Eves camp near the waterfall

Odessa was sat on a log, giving herself a bit of rest from the day’s events as she munched on a banana. Between being woken up with a smack of ocean water to the face and helping haul whatever the group managed to save of their inventory to the waterfall, it’s been a long day. Though as much as she wanted to find a quiet spot to curl up and pass out at, there were just a few more things she had to do – or rather wanted to do. She rose from her place on the log, scanning the group for just the person she wanted to talk to and approached them with a gentle tap to their shoulder. “Elise, hey.” Odessa pressed her lips together in a polite smile. “Are you doing anything right now? Do you think I could pull you aside for a sec?”

#thread / elise.#elisejaegar

WHO: @clarkewalling WHEN: At night when everyone is passed out?? WHERE: Somewhere in the jungle

When everyone woke up tomorrow, Odessa was going to bring up the concern of a designated ‘bathroom area’. Making your way the jungle at night was difficult enough, she didn’t need the added concern of being afraid she was going to step in someone’s shit. “Ew...” She whined, feeling something mushy beneath her shoe. A horrible odor didn’t hit her when she scraped the gunk off against the root of a tree, so she was assuming – for the sake of her mental wellbeing – that it was just rotten fruit or something. I just need to get away from here, she thought. Picking up the pace, she slunk through the jungle and made her way further from the group. It was when she was quite a ways away that she came to a stop near a large tree after pushing away some leafy greenery. “Finally...” She released a deep exhale, hoping at last to get a moment where she was truly alone, when she heard a rustling close by. Shit. “Who’s there?”

#thread / clarke.#clarkewalling

connellys:

-

if izzy were any further away from a full on breakdown, she’d probably laugh a little bit at this - as odessa, mere minutes out of a near death experience, apologizing to her for their dumb, drunken fight. as if it actually, like, matters anymore. like - maybe it does matter, in a way, or at least maybe there was one point in the center of all of it that they should talk about sooner or later, but - odessa’s alive, which seems a lot more important than any of the stupid shit that they said did. ( and then there’s the brief but stark thought that makes izzy’s blood run cold all over again: what if that had been the last things they’d said to each other? the last words they exchanged? ) izzy grips tighter ar odessa’s hands. “odessa, it’s - it’s okay, seriously, i mean that’s - i’m sorry, too, okay? it was all, like - it was so dumb, i don’t even - ” she honestly doesn’t want to think too hard about it, because she’s pretty sure she embarrassed herself horrendously, and between the hangover and the near death experience, she isn’t sure she wants to tackle being absolutely mortified on top of that. “seriously, it’s - would it be too soon to called it water under the bridge?” izzy asks, and she gives a watery, broken little laugh at her own dumb joke.

at odessa’s next words, though - i don’t deserve what you did for me today - izzy shakes her head immediately, a little jarred. “dess, oh my god, don’t say that. don’t say that, i’m serious - god, odessa, it was a fight, i don’t - i’d never just, like - just not care that - that - ” but izzy can’t will herself into finishing what she’s starting to say, which is that fight or not, izzy would be completely beside herself if anything ever happened to odessa. “i’m not, like - i just - i thought of you,” izzy finishes finally with a weary little shrug. of course izzy thought of odessa; she thinks about odessa more than she should, maybe. but what’s odessa implying, exactly? that if the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t have done the same? that she wouldn’t have gone after izzy? izzy doesn’t think odessa is giving herself enough credit, but, then again - she’s a little too afraid to ask, because what if she’s wrong about that? not that she could blame odessa for not feeling the same. not that any of it matters now, with both of them more or less okay.

-

Odessa was pretty sure of it before but now she was unwaveringly certain that Izzy was a better person than her. She supposed in the grand scheme of things, a stupid drunken fight like theirs from the previous night didn’t matter... but Odessa was a little more on the sober side than Izzy last night. Maybe Izzy couldn’t recall the details clearly enough but Odessa could to some extent and she hated it. Probably because she actually put thought into some of the hurtful things she’d said. Like they weren’t just... shit to say shit. They were intentionally conjured to make Izzy leave her alone last night. She hated being that person. The kind that took vulnerable things people said to them in confidence and threw them back at the other person’s face in the heat of a fight. Absolutely detested it. A lot of her uglier colors came out last night. Would it be too soon to call it water under the bridge? She couldn’t fight the way her mouth twitched at the corners and too tired to even try and hold in this breathy and broken chuckle that slipped out of her. “I... you’re – yeah.” She shook her head, wiping at a tear that slid down her cheek. “Please.”

The thought you’re a far better person than me circled over and over in Odessa’s head as Izzy spoke. I’d never just not care. I thought of you. If she didn’t feel so guilty, the words would have made her chest swell with so much love. But right now, they just made her feel worse. She couldn’t let Izzy know that though. Not when the vibe right now was ‘oh my god, so happy we’re okay and none of that stuff in the past matters anymore’. She could play the part. It’s not like she was a stranger to doing that. “I know we say it to each other a lot but like... you’re the best.” And she meant it. God, she meant it with every fiber of her being. Izzy couldn’t understand just how much Odessa meant it. She brought up the hand of Izzy’s that she was holding onto and pressed it to her lips. “Thank you.” She could only bare a second – if that – of looking into Izzy’s eyes before pulling the other girl in for a hug again. I don’t deserve you, she thought as her arms tightened around the other girl. She blinked and more tears than she cared to admit fell from her eyes. She was really glad that she and Izzy were drenched right now so that the tears didn’t make a difference to the cold wetness both of them already felt.

“We should–“ She sniffled, pulling away and pressing the back of her hand to her nose. “–we should probably find the others.” A new feeling of unease settled over Odessa then. God, how were the other Eves? She stepped away more fully and tried to straighten herself out. As nice as it would have been to hold onto Izzy all day, they weren’t the only two people on this island. They were a part of a much bigger group and if the morning was as chaotic for the rest of them as it was for Odessa and Izzy, then they’d definitely need help. It was back to business now. Odessa was sure she and Izzy could have more heart-to-hearts some time down the line. Though if she was being totally honest with herself, part of her needed a break from all of the emotion. “They’re probably somewhere in the jungle, right?” Since the tide had pretty much overtaken the beach.

#thread / izzy.#pls ignore the length

jvdes:

who: open when: a little bit after the riptide where: idk wherever everyone’s congregating

it seems fitting that jude shows half-drowned and late, carrying elise’s suitcase in hand. she’d woken up to the tide basically trying to pull her under, and also, like, super hungover, in case anybody was wondering. like, it would have been a bad morning anyways, but, hey, here’s an added natural disaster. she’d managed, duh - caught herself on a rock, went “what the fuck,” swam her way back (though swimming isn’t her strong suit, exactly), and nabbed elise’s bag on the way - good luck, maybe, in the midst of a bunch of really horrible luck. “okay,” she says as she drops the suitcase unceremoniously at her feet once she’s reached everyone else, “which god did the rest of you motherfuckers royally piss off to get you sent to this hell?” like, for jude, she figures whatever the fuck this is is just some kind of, you know, cosmic retribution for her nonstop assholery. but if she were anybody else - like, you know, someone really morally upstanding, or whatever - she’d be totally pissed to be here, ‘cause, like, where’s the good karma? “i’m glad i’ve done so much stupid shit, for real, ‘cause at least i got, like, my money’s worth, or whatever.”

-

The sight of Jude rocking up to where everyone was gathered made Odessa smile. She’s been relatively quiet since her return with Izzy. Still recovering, still thinking. (Unfortunately.) But seeing Jude brought her spirits up just enough to tease a smile onto her lips and have her piping up. “No one jumps back from a near death experience quite like you, J.” She chuckled. She might not have been jumping for joy or flailing her arms around like one of those air dancers you see at car dealerships, but seeing Jude brought a warmth to her chest that she couldn’t quite explain. Not that she cared to. “Nice haul,” Odessa complimented, taking in the pink of Elise’s suitcase and the black and white zigzag stripes on it. Part of Odessa felt guilty she couldn’t help save anything from camp, seeing as she was some ways down the beach toppling around in the waves. But it was what it was, you know. She knew she’d be more helpful next time. Not that she was hoping there’d be something so challenging to deal with again so soon. “Do you want some water?” A beat. “The kind that’s not gonna take you out while you’re snoozing on the beach.” She pointed to a few bottles lined up by a log beside Jude. “These ones have been boiled and cooled.” A few others were still sitting on the fire, in the process of being a step toward consumable.

#thread / jude.#this is a lil kissy kiss for jude bc i've missed her 😘

connellys:

-

izzy’s admittedly still a little skeptical over odessa’s insistence that she’s alright, and worry swirls in izzy’s chest somewhere near the rapid thudding of her heartbeat as she hauls them both further and further up the shore, trying to get to safety. the more distance that grows between them and the waves, the more relieved izzy feels, though there’s still a pit in her stomach from the pure blind fear of it all. “i’m okay,” she waves odessa off quickly - a little winded and scared shitless, sure, but they’re alive, aren’t they? jesus. odessa could have died, and izzy was able to help get her to safety. that counts for something. “i’m okay if you’re okay,” izzy adds, finding that although she’s grown to detest the repetitive occurence of natural disasters, she is still grateful - grateful they’re both alive, grateful their story didn’t end there, just grateful to see odessa’s face, because again: oh, god, what if something had happened? what if this had ended differently? she almost can’t think about it, because it’s too gruesome, too awful. it was rough out there. izzy gives a barking little laugh. “yeah. yeah, jesus,” because isn’t that a little bit of an understatement? once odessa prompts her to take a break, izzy gulps, nods, closes her eyes tightly for a moment to gather her composure, and then she sits down beside odessa, the world toppling a little bit. god. she’s only still for a second before she can’t help herself, and she wraps her arms around odessa, holding her close, just relishing in the fact that she’s okay, fuck, they’re both okay. “god,” izzy mumbles again into the crook of odessa’s shoulder. “i was - i was really scared.”

-

The tension Odessa was carrying in her body melted away when she felt Izzy’s arms encircle her. Selfishly, she held onto the other girl, drawing her close and soaking in every ounce of comfort she felt from the contact. God. I was - I was really scared. Her throat grew tight at Izzy’s words, holding in every god-awful emotion that wanted break out inside of her. What happened was frightening. It etched fear deep into her bones. The possibility of her not being here, not doing this, was far more real than either of them would have liked. This island was dangerous, and it didn’t matter how safe they tried to be, they would always be at risk one way or another. The thought of it made her arms tighten around Izzy – needing to feel grounded, to feel so physically close to someone so she could know that she was here, alive. “Me too.” She got out, just barely but she said the words. If she wasn’t so grateful to be warm with her heart still beating, the vulnerability might have paralyzed her. Odessa pressed her mouth against Izzy’s shoulder, breathing her in and holding onto the moment. All of this gratefulness, this appreciation for being able to walk and breathe and talk and hold onto someone, it compelled her to say what’s been at the back of her mind since she saw Izzy rushing to her in the water. She moved away from the other girl, putting some space between them so she could see her.

“Hey, um, Iz–” Odessa’s gaze was pointed downward, starting at Izzy’s hands as she reached to hold one of them. She didn’t know what she wanted to say exactly but she knew she had to do this. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked at the two words. She hardly said them. It felt foreign in her mouth. “I said a lot of shit last night. A lot of things I didn’t mean and–” If things didn’t go their way today, they would have been the last thing she said to Izzy and they were so, so needlessly cruel. Odessa needed Izzy to know she didn’t mean any of it. “I’m– I’m just really sorry.” She pushed out a shaky breath, wanting desperately for the tears that had welled at her eyes to go away. She sniffled. “I was a really shitty friend last night.” Shitty person in general. God, that fucking power play cunt move she pulled with Elise. This wasn’t the only apology Odessa had to make today. “You’re a really good friend to me. And I don’t deserve what you did for me today, especially after last night, but I just – I want you to know that I’m grateful. Like, incredibly so, that you’re a much better person than I am. To have even thought to look for me while everything was happening. And risk you own life to go after me...” She shook her a little. “All of it.”

#thread / izzy.

connellys:

-

as odessa moves to sit, izzy places a steady hand in the center of odessa’s back, doing what she can to support her. though it seems the worst is over, worry still swirls around in izzy’s chest cavity, battling with the fastly fading adrenaline. “okay, okay,” and she extends an opposite hand to cup odessa’s face just as she’s holding izzy’s. and, right, they should go, they can’t do that again - izzy really can’t do this all of the time anymore, facing death with her fists up - so she does what she hand to help odessa up, wrapping a solid arm around her middle though she feels stricken by the waves, weary. “yeah i - i saw pretty much everyone, i think. in the cave, or heading there with inventory, everyone getting away from the tide. there wasn’t anybody else in the ocean, i didn’t see anybody else,” she rambles, all but dragging herself and odessa further and further from danger. “oh my god, i - ” but of course she can’t say anything else, winded and frightened and so, so close to - to losing odessa. jesus fuck. “no more sleeping on the beach,” she says shakily, keeping her watery eyes ahead. they’re constantly making up new rules for survival here, it seems - this perpetual, arduous battle against nature. god. “you’re sure you’re okay?” izzy repeats even as they move, turning her worried eyes onto odessa and trying to get a better look at her, trying to comb her body for injuries, for signs that there’s still water in her lungs, or something. “jesus, dess,” she exhales in a puff, dizzy as the adrenaline dies down. “i don’t - i don’t even - ” everything fizzles inside of her. what do you even say?

-

No more sleeping on the beach. Yeah, no shit. Odessa wanted to make wry comment but considering she just narrowly escaped death less than ten minutes ago, she was going to conserve her energy and not to do that. It’d better to keep her head down, focus on hobbling toward the tree line and not losing her grip on Izzy. Besides, her throat still felt weird and she doubted she’d sound as clever as she wanted to be when she was still coughing here and there. She turned her head, catching sight of the tearful look on Izzy’s face. Odessa wanted so badly to stop them where they were, get a few words out of the way first, but she knew that would be stupid. Priorities, the word rung in her head. Safety first. Apologies – and there were many to be made – had to come after. At Izzy’s repeated question, Odessa made an indifferent noise. “Um... yeah.” She nodded, to reiterate that and to further assure Izzy. “Yeah, I’m alright.” Was it totally honest? Probably not. But Odessa was still in shock of what happened. She needed time to process it, really let it sink in. (Which she wasn’t looking forward to.) But for now, she was here – breathing, moving, with Izzy – so at face value, she was okay. “Are you okay?” She said after a beat. She’d asked it before but Izzy was more concerned with her then. Maybe now that they’re on their feet, putting more distance between themselves and the ocean, Izzy would be more willing to give her some insight. “It was rough out there.” The waves. Hauling her back. It was a lot. Izzy may have been a strong swimmer but she was also asthmatic wasn’t she? Not to mention the whole ‘recovering from major surgery’ thing. That had to take a toll. “Hey, let’s stop here,” she said once she noticed just how far they’d gone. Near a cluster of boulders. By the tree line. Odessa stepped away from Izzy to plop down on one of the larger rocks. “Take a break, c’mon.” She patted the space beside her. They were far enough now. They could stop for a bit, catch their breath properly.

#thread / izzy.

connellys:

-

when odessa comes to, it’s like - it’s like this fucking miracle, okay, because she’s okay, she’s alive, she could have died but she didn’t, and, oh, god, what if she had? what if she’d died and their last exchange was one of anger? what if that was all izzy had left of her, that fight on the fucking beach? she wouldn’t have made it, couldn’t have processed it, and now she’s just dizzy, exhausted, staring at odessa with big eyes, a miracle, brushing strands of wet hair back from odessa’s face, “oh, god, i thought - ” and her voice, lachrymal, just kind of falls away, broken. “i thought - oh, god, odessa, oh god.” gripping odessa’s hand like a lifeline, crying over her a little, battered, relieved she’s alive, what the fuck. as always: what the fuck. and when odessa asks if she’s okay, izzy gives a broken little laugh, because - what? “am i okay?” she repeats, incredulous. “oh my god, odessa. you almost - you - ” but izzy can’t even say it, suffocates on a swallow and tries again. “are you okay? i mean, are you - you almost - god. holy shit, odessa, i don’t even - i - jesus. jesus. odessa.”

-

Hearing a choppy little laugh from Izzy was far better than the repeated oh gods filled with disbelief and fear. Every single one reminded her that she almost just– No. She wasn’t going to think about that. “Yeah, that was...” Fucking terrifying. Absolutely traumatizing. Searing fear into the inside of her skull. “...fucking close wasn’t it?” She settled for saying. Odessa moved to sit up. She didn’t want to spare too much thought on it. Because she couldn’t. Not right now at least. Sat up, she turned her head to the side and looked Izzy, taking in her widened eyes and the heavy breaths from her parted lips. “I know, Iz. I know.” She held on tighter to the hand of Izzy’s that she was holding. What just happened was... She couldn’t think about it. Like her brain physically stopped her, put a whole damn wall up, when she attempted venture into what just happened minutes ago. So be it then, she thought. At the moment, it was probably for good reason. “I’m okay,” she answered, more out of instinct than contemplation. I think, she wanted to add but didn’t. Odessa turned her head toward the ocean, seeing just how far the tide had risen up. It was insane. And though they were away from it, they weren’t that far away. It was still steadily climbing. “We should get out of here. Move up.” She looked behind them. Toward the jungle. Then she turned back to face Izzy. She stared at her for a long moment. More awake than ever. There was so many things she wanted to say to the other girl but she didn’t have the capacity to make sense of every thought that wanted attention in her head right now. So instead, she reached out to touch Izzy’s face with her other hand, letting her thumb brush against Izzy’s cheek in a silent ‘thank you’ before she moved to try and get up. “C’mon. We should go. Recover somewhere safer.” She was a bit wobbly – understandably – but gripping onto Izzy for some balance, she managed to get on her feet. “Do you know where the others are?” They were a bit down the shore from camp, seeing as Odessa had wanted her space from the girls after last night’s events. “Are they okay?” If Izzy slept in the cave and she was awake and okay, that gave her some confidence that the others were probably doing just fine too.

#thread / izzy.#i just wanted you to know i googled the word lachrymal #and now i feel so smart i'm learning so much

connellys:

-

it’s literally a fucking battle, but they do eventually make it to shore - not before izzy’s ingested about a pint of seawater the acrid taste spreading across her tongue and traveling down her throat, not before her inhaler is whipped from the pocket of her shirt by a brutal wave, not before odessa is all but unconscious, but they do make it to the soaked sand of the beach, half-drowned and battered. of course, it’s not like they’re out of the woods, izzy quickly realizes as she lifts izzy down to the land, as far out from the ocean as she can manage to get her; they’re just not that lucky, because odessa, she isn’t conscious, she’s not really breathing, it seems, or she is, but maybe not enough, and izzy - she’s panicking, because she can’t lose odessa, not after this, after everything, because - because - she can’t, and izzy’s never been good at saving the people she loves, but she is CPR certified, so she drops to the ground and starts doing mouth-to-mouth, trying to remember everything her tenth grade health teacher taught her, trying to stay calm, but she isn’t calm, she’s just doing everything she needs to do like she needs to do it, because she can’t lose somebody, she can’t lose odessa, so she shoves on her chest and breathes into her mouth and she thinks please, please, please, no, please.

-

Odessa came to with an incessant pressure on her chest. She jerked up, feeling something gurgling at her throat. Quickly, she turned to her side and let it all out, coughing as seawater left her in sputters. “Oh–” Cough. “Oh my god–” She no longer felt anything taking space in her throat but now it felt raw. With a heavy and tired sigh, she collapsed backwards again, laying on the wet sand as her chest heaved up and down and she shut her eyes. It took her a moment. To remember. Where she was. What was happening. She was asleep. Then she wasn’t. Then there was water. Lots of water. A tide higher than she ever experienced. Then a wave. Then a pull. Then there was Izzy. Izzy.

“Iz– Izzy?” Her hand moved at her side, feeling around for the other girl. She didn’t stop till her hand met Izzy’s and held onto it. She wanted to sit up, to pull her in, to hold her and relish in the fact that holy shit, that was such a close call and thank you for doing what you did. But her soaked clothes felt heavier than usual on her body. Like they were half ton weights keeping her down as opposed to cotton, denim and polyester. So instead, she did what she could while she caught her breath, and that was squeeze Izzy’s hand and breathe. In and out, and in and out. Until she felt energy, slow and steady, come back to her in small pieces. “Are you– you okay?”

#thread / izzy.

connellys:

where: the beach when: riptide time babes! who: the newly resurrected @odessabailey

izzy wakes to noise with a pounding in the cavern of her skull, and she doesn’t realize anything’s wrong until she wrestles into wakefulness despite the hangover. still in the cave, izzy’s not in any immediate danger, but it takes a minute before it occurs to her that anyone else might be - it’s the commotion that rouses her, prompting her to prop herself up on her elbows at look out at the - oh, oh, the tide, rising, rising, jesus, what the fuck? what a wakeup call, and she thinks odessa first, of course she does, because she can see at least some of the others, plenty of people in the cave or heading towards it with their inventory in hand, effectively unharmed, but not odessa, and izzy thinks - she thinks of their stupid fight last night, she thinks of everything dumb that she said, of how brutal the whole ordeal was, and she’s thinking this all as she’s staggering up and running out of the cave and onto the beach, searching - and she cares about everyone else, too, of course she does, and she’s doing a headcount as she passes them like an idiot, running headfirst towards the water, but it’s a lie to act like she’s not concerned about odessa first and foremost, because she is, and the tide is no fucking joke, and what if - what if -

and then izzy sees odessa, tugged out by the tide, and she’s for all intents and purposes being swallowed up by the tide like that, and then izzy doesn’t really think anything at all except that of course she’s got to do something, and it’s a fear - well, it’s a fear she’s felt before, of course it is. izzy knows what it’s like to be afraid of losing someone, she’s lived with that fear, it’s so familiar that it makes something in her sternum ache, even as she’s heading out against the brutal tide, even as she’s remembering saying if we don’t talk about it now, i’m scared we never will, because she’d thought (as she often thinks): what if something terrible happens. well, here’s something terrible, so she fights the tide like only the fourth best swimmer on the Warrenton High School Women’s Swim Team can, heading to odessa, because this - izzy can’t let this happen. it’s literally not even a fucking option, so there’s only one thing on her mind as the ocean all but throttles her and sea water pools into her mouth, a wall of force against her, odessa, odessa, odessa, or maybe she’s saying it out loud: “odessa!” and she’s already aching by the time she reaches her, but she does, she reaches her, “odessa,” and it’s all just adrenaline and torrid energy, fighting the waves as they try to suck them back in, izzy wrapping odessa’s arms around her shoulders and hauling her out, what the fuck, what the fuck?

-

“Izzy!” Odessa sputtered out the name, seawater smacking into her mouth as the waves pulled at her. Her arms were stretched out, legs kicking. She’s fighting to give herself every chance of getting out of this situation but Mother Nature was one stubborn bitch. The only thing doing anything to remotely settle the hammering of her heart in her chest was the sight of Izzy – swimming, propelling herself toward her. Odessa’s fingers reached for her, desperate to brush against Izzy’s own. She was trying hard to fight against the tug of the sea but she was only a girl. The painful realization of her helplessness knocked her out more than any rush of water could. Things blur from there. A haze of desperate hands and the sting of ocean water in her eyes. Seawater entering her throat. One moment, Odessa is the throes of being dragged into the sea, the next – the next? Is she being hauled out? God, she hoped. All she knew was that she was tired. Tired, tired, tired and thinking of Izzy.

#thread / izzy.#this gif isn't exactly accurate but it's the best i've got

oferins:

-

Wait, you think I’m being mean? “ I don’t know, that-that’s why I asked. ” Erin answered, fumbling through her words. She didn’t think it, not really. And she didn’t want to accuse Odessa of it. But how was she supposed to be sure? All this happened so quickly and she was frankly really confused by it all. Confused and like– well, Odessa’s chest did feel very nice and soft beneath her hands but she was doing her very, very best to turn that part of her brain off. “ Help what, I don’t– ” She cut herself off. It wasn’t worth talking, it wasn’t worth the risk of saying something wrong. That was how she ended up here, right? Saying things wrong, doing things wrong. She looked to their hands when Odessa removed them from her chest, holding them between the two of them. Listening to what she said and trying to hear it. “ No, it’s – it’s okay, you don’t need to be sorry, I still feel like I should be saying sorry. ” She started, rambling but pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts. I’m not uncomfortable. That would be a lie. It’s not a big deal. That was a lie too. “ I know they’re not, like, a big deal. Like, I’ve got them too ” barely “ I know that it’s only flesh, it’s not some mystery. ” She tried to explain. She took a breath. She supposed she was building up to the big thing, the thing in the middle of it. “ I just don’t– ” She sighed. Turning into a goopy puddle still sounded so much more appealing than this right here. “ I don’t want you thinking I’ve just been like, sitting over here sexualising you and, like, being a creep. And whatever. Because I haven’t. ” She said. So what had she been doing then? “ You’re, like, hot. You know. Surely you know that, right? And I just, I don’t know, was admiring? Does that sound any less creepy? ” It didn’t. It didn’t sound any fucking better. So. She might as well be honest, right? “ I just, like, I keep thinking if I was you, and someone was looking at me like that, I’d feel some sort of way about it, you know? ”

-

“Literally, if you say sorry again or try to, I will whack you with a palm frond.” Odessa chuckled. Though it was said in jest, part of her meant it. She didn’t want Erin to say sorry. She didn’t have to. Women apologize too much. It’s a fucked up habit. One Odessa liked to help her fellow women break whenever she could. She watched Erin intently, giving her however long she needed to get out what she wanted to say. I don’t want you thinking I’ve just been like, sitting over here sexualising you and, like, being a creep. And whatever. Because I haven’t. The words made Odessa’s lips take on an amused shape but she didn’t say anything. Not yet anyway. She wanted Erin to finish her piece, get all her thoughts out. Hearing the other girl call her ‘hot’ was a sick bonus for her patience too. “Absolutely, I know that.” Not a hint of doubt in her response. “And admiring, well... if you’re not using it to describe landscape or artistic expression, I say there’s no getting around it sounding creepy. But,” she was quick to add, “I don’t find you creepy.” She even pushed her lips into a small smile to assure Erin of that, giving the other girl’s hand a little squeeze. “And yeah, sure, maybe in some other situation, I’d probably feel some sort of way about it. But it’s not some other situation, it’s this situation. And it’s you. I find you hot. So it’s attention I don’t mind getting. In fact, I’m feeling kind of great about it to be honest. It’s nice to know that I’ve still got it despite the atrocious sunburn and frizzy hair.” Distracting someone from the hellish life or death situation they were in with cleavage alone made her feel all sorts of powerful. It was gonna have Odessa’s ego through the roof for at least the next couple of hours. “So,” Odessa started again, “now that we got that out of the way, can you please chill out? Like, no sorry’s, no feeling bad or whatever. We can just – go back to trying not to die here and picking up seaweed. And if you wanna check me out again, I swear I won’t call you out on it.” A laugh slipped past her. “Okay, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But seriously, bygones be bygones, you know?”

#thread / erin.

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